With the Battle Fleet Part 7

Approved: R. WAINWRIGHT, Captain U. S. Navy, Commanding.

At a general muster of the crew that Sunday morning each man who had not crossed the line--and a complete list had been prepared of them--received this subpoena as he was dismissed from the deck:

YOU LANDLUBBER, POLLYWOG AND SEA LAWYER: You are hereby notified that the good s.h.i.+p Louisiana, on which you are serving, will to-morrow enter the domain of which I am the ruler. As no landlubber, pollywog or sea lawyer can enter my domain or become one of my royal subjects unless he undergoes the initiation as prescribed by me, you will when the ceremonies commence present yourself for the initiation, and if you show that you are worthy you will become a member of my royal realm and be subject to my orders in all seas on which you may be.

If you do not present yourself for this initiation and I am required to despatch members of my staff to bring you before me by force I will deal severely with you.

His Majesty, NEPTUNE REX, Ruler of the Royal Domain.

Of the 960 odd persons on the Louisiana only about 100 had ever crossed the line. The proportion was about the same on all the other s.h.i.+ps of the fleet, so it is a fair estimate that 12,500 men were waiting the arrival of Neptune. A wireless message was sent to the Louisiana that his Majesty's secretary and orderly would come on board on the evening of January 5 to make the final preparations for the ruler's visit the next morning. The call for hammocks was sounded about 7:30 o'clock that evening and while the men were aft the officer of the deck, Ensign N. W.

Post heard a pistol shot across the bows of the s.h.i.+p followed by:

"s.h.i.+p ahoy!"

"Aye, aye, sir," said the officer of the deck, giving the accepted greeting for an officer.

"What s.h.i.+p is that? Where are you from and whither are you bound?" came the voice.

"The U. S. S. Louisiana, from Hampton Roads, bound through the domains of his Majesty Neptune Rex for the Pacific Ocean," shouted Post through a megaphone.

"Heave to; I want to come aboard!"

"Aye, aye, sir. Come aboard."

Thereupon the s.h.i.+p was hove to theoretically and two men in fantastic dress popped over the starboard bow and made their way aft. Mr. Eberle, the executive officer, had been notified that Neptune's secretary, Main Top Bowline, was on board, and went forward to receive him.

Capt. Wainwright was notified and appeared on the quarter deck. Soon, with the bugles sounding attention, Main Top Bowline and his orderly emerged through the superstructure with Mr. Eberle. The secretary and a.s.sistant were in full dress, their swallowtails of bright red chintz accentuated by enormous negro minstrel collars and by ties of pink that flowed out to their shoulders. They carried full dress c.o.c.ked hats of navy regulation pattern. Their faces were Indian red with various splashes of paint that suggested mermaids and sea serpents. Main Top Bowline had a pair of binoculars made from black beer bottles which were capped by the rubber pieces that fit the eyes on the sighting apparatus of the guns.

Mr. Eberle presented the secretary to the captain, while the officers and dozens of the crew gathered around. The secretary said that Neptune would come aboard at 9 A. M. the next day and would be prepared to take possession of the s.h.i.+p and exercise due authority. He complimented the captain on the appearance of his "fine s.h.i.+p," said that Neptune would visit the Louisiana only because it had once carried his "distinguished colleague, the President," and he expressed the hope that the captain and the crew would extend the proper honors. Capt. Wainwright straightened himself to his full height and said:

"Mr. Secretary, Main Top Bowline: It gives me great pleasure to welcome you to this s.h.i.+p and to receive the notification of the contemplated visit to-morrow of his Majesty Neptunus Rex. I beg of you to convey to him the expression of my highest esteem and to say to him that we shall pay him the distinguished honors that belong to his rank, and shall obey gladly all his august commands. If you will now proceed with me to my cabin we will discuss there the details of the ceremony."

Then the captain and the visitors disappeared down the captain's gangway and a bottle of champagne was opened and the health of Neptune toasted.

The captain told Main Top Bowline that he had been a member of Neptune's domain for thirty-eight years but had not met Main Top Bowline before.

Main Top said he had been in his Majesty's service only fifteen years.

Full particulars of Mr. Roosevelt's trip on the Louisiana were requested to be reported to Neptune and then the secretary left and called on the wardroom. He served subpoenas himself on the officers and asked especially for the newspaper man. He said that Neptune had been misrepresented so often in print and that it was so seldom that he ever found a reporter on a real s.h.i.+p of the line that he was bound to tell the newspaper man to be prepared for the worst. Then the visitors were escorted forward and they disappeared, after ordering this message sent to Admiral Evans:

_The Commander-in-Chief, U. S. Atlantic Fleet._

By virtue of the authority invested in me by his Majesty, Neptunus Rex, ruler of the Royal Domain, I have to inform you that I have this night boarded the good s.h.i.+p Louisiana for the purpose of informing the commanding officer that he has entered the domain ruled by his Majesty and that he has a cargo of landlubbers, pollywogs and sea lawyers on board whom it will be necessary to initiate into the royal realm before he can pa.s.s through, and as such his Most Gracious Majesty will to-morrow morning board the good s.h.i.+p Louisiana and carry out the ceremonies as prescribed by the regulations of the royal realm.

His Majesty wishes me to convey his compliments to you and to state that he is pleased to have you with him once more in his royal domain, although it has been some time since he has been able to greet you personally.

MAIN TOP BOWLINE, Secretary of His Most Gracious Majesty, NEPTUNE REX, Ruler of the Royal Domain.

Admiral Evans signalled back his thanks for the greeting, sent his compliments to Neptune and expressed the hope that Neptune and his party would have a "royal good time on the Louisiana."

The next morning everybody was up bright and early. Word was sent throughout the s.h.i.+p to wear no arms at quarters. Every man put on his cleanest uniform. Quarters was sounded and the men a.s.sembled at their usual stations. The officers emerged one by, one from the superstructure and reported to the executive officer that their divisions were all present or accounted for. Then came the bugle for general muster on the quarter deck. All hands were marched aft and the officers took their proper stations with a large s.p.a.ce vacant about the captain and a pa.s.sageway from the superstructure. Miss Sally Ann, the Trinidad monkey, was allowed to come along to see the fun. She perched on one of the 12-inch guns and flirted her tail about like an angry cat.

A wait of several minutes followed after Mr. Eberle had gone forward to receive Neptune. This was due, it was reported afterward unofficially, to getting Amphitrite, Neptune's wife, up the gangways with all her toggery in good condition. Not being used to skirts, it was quite a job.

At the entrance to the deck eight side boys and the boatswain's mates were stationed.

Suddenly a great blast from the bugles announced the approach. Then the shrill boatswains' whistles smote the ears and Sally Ann set up an awful screeching. The word "Salute!" rang out and every man stood at attention while Neptune and his wife preceded by two pages stepped on the quarter deck. At that moment a monster red flag, eighteen feet by twelve, with a white sea serpent on it that would have made any Chinese dragon run to cover, was raised to the main, the band struck up Neptune's march and his Majesty and consort and their court of fifty-two persons in stately step trod the deck to greet Capt. Wainwright. Neptune swung his trident proudly, and as he came to a full stop he said:

"Sir:--I have come to-day to your s.h.i.+p to exercise the full command that pertains to the rule of my domain. I have come to initiate the landlubbers and pollywogs on this vessel. You will relinquish command to me and I expect that full honors will be paid to my rank. I am honoring this s.h.i.+p of the fleet especially because my distinguished friend and colleague, the President of the country from which you come, once used this s.h.i.+p on a near approach to my dominions. I am informed that he would be here to-day in person if the cares of State did not prevent. I am told he is here in spirit. I shall order, therefore, a special honorary certificate of members.h.i.+p for him. [Aside, "Can't some of you keep that d.a.m.ned monkey from screeching so much?"] I shall now proceed to your cabin, after which the ceremonies of the royal initiations will proceed."

Capt. Wainwright bowed profoundly and the irreverent in the crew set up a howl of laughter as they saw the makeup of Neptune and his party.

Neptune and Amphitrite and the two pages went below with the Captain.

The others remained on deck. There were the two secretaries that had come aboard the night before and next to them were two royal doctors, in long swallowtails and with tall hats that looked like the headgear of Corean high priests, only there were skulls and crossbones on them for ornament. The doctors carried dress suit cases. One was labelled "Dr.

Flip" and the other "Dr. Flap." The cases contained the surgical instruments and medicines. Then came the royal counsellors with enormous law books. The lawyers wore the wigs of English pract.i.tioners and long black robes. Two "high cops," in chintz, followed and then there was a large squad of policemen each with a badge numbered 23, with stuffed clubs, followed by the barbers, a dozen black bears and a lot of retainers.

Neptune himself wore a scarlet robe with sea serpents embroidered on it and with a golden hemp fringe all around the edges. His face and legs and arms were stained a beautiful mahogany color. A great beard of yellow rope hung down over his fat belly. Amphitrite was in white. She wore a sea green flat hat and carried a black cat done up in baby's clothes. That cat stayed with her for two hours without moving.

"My!" said one of the ordinary seamen who had cruised many a time along the Bowery, "don't she look just as if she came straight from the Bowery and Hester street? How are ye, Amph?"

A clout on the head by a mate made him "shorten his chin sail."

Before Neptune reappeared Dr. Flip went up to Dr. Wentworth, the s.h.i.+p's surgeon, to pay his professional respects. Dr. Flip said he was of the old school and a graduate of the "Royal College of the Doldrums, cla.s.s of Umpdy-umpdy-ump-ump." He was strong, he said, on the use of leeches and bleeding. Dr. Wentworth tactfully admitted that the old school had its merits.

Then came Neptune on deck again and the party, followed by 800 officers and men, went to the fo'c'sle deck for the initiation. Neptune mounted his throne on a platform. Two tanks had been erected between that and the forward turret. The bears slipped over the sides as the retainers filled the tanks with water. Drs. Flip and Flap unloaded their saws, knives, teeth extractors and many bottles of vile looking medicine. The lawyers opened their books to certain paragraphs of the "Revised Statutes," chiefly paragraph 4-11-44; the barbers sharpened their enormous razors, "made in Yarmany"; the policemen drew up in line, the orderlies rolled up the barrel of lather, made of oatmeal and water, and another barrel of "tonic," to be used in enormous squirt guns. It was Neptune's "dope" for the unruly. Then Neptune, with a flourish of his trident and settling his gilt crown well back on his head, as Amphitrite nestled to his side, asked if all preparations had been completed.

"Yes, your Majesty," replied Main Top Bowline.

"Then let the initiations proceed. Bring forward as the first victim that newspaper man. He shall have special attention," was the command.

The Sun man mounted the steps to the howls of 800 persons. Dr. Flip sounded his lungs, examined his teeth, felt his arms and legs, made him wiggle his fingers and then said:

"Your Majesty, a very bad case. 'E's got a ingrowin' brain!"

"What do you prescribe?"

"Well, your Majesty, we have here medicines for the cure of spavin, sore throat, consumption, chilblains, diphtheria, eczema, measles, neuralgia, heartburn--"

"Never mind the rest," said the King. "What is the treatment?"

"The same for all, sire," was the response. "A good shave, an injection in the arm of my 'dope' [composed of mola.s.ses and water] some powder on his head and a ducking in the briny seas."

"Very good!" replied his Majesty.

Then the trouble began. A pill as big as a horse chestnut and made of bread crusts was forced down the victim's throat. The squirt gun hit him full in the face, a lotion was rubbed in his hair and then he was forced into the chair and shaved. A question was asked of him, and as he opened his mouth to reply a great paint brush of lather was thrust into it.

Then came the order to pull out the plug from the chair and drop him over backwards into the tank. Well, that flight and that ducking! Here descriptive powers fail the Sun's correspondent. It can be described best in the words of Herman Melville, in his story of "White Jacket,"

relating to a cruise he made in 1843 around the horn in the United States frigate, United States, when he went into the water in another way.

"Time seemed to stand still and all the worlds poised on their poles as I fell. I was conscious at length of a swift flinging motion of my limbs. A thunder-boom sounded in my ears. My soul seemed flying from my mouth. Some current seemed hurrying me away. In a trance I yielded and sank down deeper with a glide. Purple and pathless was the deep calm now around me, flecked by summer lightnings in an azure afar.

"Then an agonizing revulsion came over me as I felt myself sinking. Next moment the force of my fall was expended and there I hung vibrating in the deep. What wild sounds then rang in my ear? One was a soft moaning, as of low waves on the beach, the other wild and heartlessly jubilant, as of the sea in the height of a tempest. The life and death poise soon pa.s.sed, and then I felt myself slowly ascending and caught a dim glimmering of light. Quicker and quicker I mounted, till at last I bounded up like a buoy and my whole head was bathed in the blessed air."

That was just as it was and when the Sun man escaped from the tank he was greeted with more applause and cheering than he had ever received in his life.

The first initiation on the Louisiana was over. Then came a roll call of the officers. They had to produce certificates or pay tribute. The crew was a.s.sembled in long lines. One by one they went up the ladders. Drs.