The Torch Chapter 3-Lets Adjust To The Times And Accept The Sadness.

Broken by the forces of evil and driven to a manic stationary state, Tanaka had succ.u.mbed to a mental break. The psychosis had triggered a mental barrier, resulting in him pa.s.sing out. The boy's helplessness had over whelmed him and thus, fear had stripped of his will to resist the reality before him. This was a frightening world he had wound up in, a nightmare that had inscribed the fear of G.o.d in him or rather the fear of unknown obscenities before him. Tanaka's motor senses had glitched, a trance like state resembling that of a brain diseased patient. His hand though, had not unclenched the torch, the only part of his body, which involuntary contested his defeatism. Regardless of the gloom and death before him, he somehow survived. He was unscathed and this was a miracle in itself. Was it chance or were these despicable savages toying with him? This was a question that had not surfaced in his now damaged mind, a question his sanity would fight off till his last breath.

5hours had pa.s.sed since then and the world was still pitch black. The only thing that pierced through the darkness was the light from his torch. He woke up in tears, soaking his cheeks until his eyes started to hurt. His denial of the reality before him had continued, to a point of self-loathing. His crying eventually stopped; anymore and he would have severe migraine. Tanaka slowly mustered the strength to face the terror, an act that was more like a sudden realisation that his body parts were still intact. The mangled flesh he had seen and the grotesque nature of the demons had given him an impression that he was the defenceless sheep in the world of wolves. As he slowly came to terms with his safety he remembered that the world was still dark and without any distinction. He was the only figure in the unfinished painting or maybe he was the only anomaly left to complete the black painting of death.

Tanaka recovered his senses and began to hiss words to himself, "I am not dead, I am alive." This chant helped him internalise this belief more and more, making him muster the confidence to no longer cringe in fear anymore. He was still trying to accept the current state of the world and the faint voices of people that were dying and being chewed by ravenous mouths. The heavy rains had ended and all that was left in view was the blood and gore stained buildings. The smell of blood was putrid and strong, something that reminded him of how chickens smelt when he had decapitated them, but human blood was worse. The smell was strong enough to cause nausea and vomiting of disturbing volumes. Tanaka upon seeing this and realising that he too, being soaked in blood, was harbouring a repulsive stench, he inadvertently vomited. Seeing his vomit mix with the red concoction below, creating the ultimate human pineapple stew, disgusted him even more till he pointed his torch elsewhere. After a while, his body's natural limit to discharge rejected fluids finally came, after he had decorated the ground with last night's dinner. He was repulsed by the smell and discomfort of being drenched in human blood. In that moment, as he glanced forward and sideways, his curiosity got the better of him. He saw a bizarre depravity that had a body of questionable aesthetics. It was a slithering centipede headed human sized dog with humus like skin texture and brittle feet. Tanaka didn't point the torch directly at it; he twirled his light, shaking as he tried to observe the fiend that had made its way onto the road. His lack of focus on the subject at hand easily reflected his uncertainty. He wanted to observe his fear out of curiosity, but at the same time dreaded it. It was a state of ambivalence he had to go through in that moment, but soon he would regret having even gazed upon the foul beast. It was feasting on something! What that hapless thing was' was what Tanaka wondered in the infinite darkness. He heard the munching and snapping of bones, the very definition of a meal devoured with a tang of gluttony. Tanaka twirled his torch pointing at the bottom surface close to the beast, slowly adjusting his view vertically. Upon suddenly hearing a movement, he mistakenly directed the light upwards and what he saw was not nice. It was an amputated old man with shrivelled remains. The quick glance reviewed a huge gush of blood as the creature devoured the body. It even went on to lower its centipede head, grinding its food like a tomato on a grater. The spilt blood was sucked soon enough by its atrocious nostrils after it had gobbled up the corpse. Tanaka then quickly turned away and pointed the torch at the ground before him. The irony about the relations.h.i.+p between his only light source and the infinite darkness was that his clarity showed him displeasing things, but what he could not see could not affect him. However, the sounds were still ominous and prevalent even in his state of impaired vision. Tanaka had opted in his mind to run elsewhere, but his body did not move. He had survived being eaten and was starting to believe that he was saved due to sticking to that corner of his. He was still engulfed in fear, almost becoming one with it, a fatal symbiosis indeed, but he decided to accept things as the way they were. The sound of the creature burping sent a chill down his spine and he then immediately wet himself. The urine stained his denim trousers and warmed up his groin and thighs, an awkward but pleasant feeling for him. He began to hear the thing not visible in the dark, breathing, and an instance in his life that drove him to great fret. He wanted to cry again, but he had already poured out his tears and the pangs of his headache were not helping the situation at all. The background sounds of screams and flesh being ravaged went on faintly. Tanaka remained in that position for 7 hours, not moving and remaining frigid in his corner. No matter how bad the cramp was, Tanaka would not move. Trying to move was pointless for him and he believed that it was only a matter of time before he would become a new cuisine for these obscene creatures, a thought that was perpetuating depression in his mind.

Tanaka looked at his watch, noticing that it was now 19:00. His body began to complain, hunger being the main agenda. The June winter was giving him the chills and his stomach was longing to be filled. In the 8hours that had pa.s.sed, he had reminisced about a lot of personal things, his family, and other trials he had gone through in his life. All alone in the infinite darkness. he began to think about his parents and how they had raised him. Tanaka's father who had an affluent blue collar job as an electrician, working on large scale company transformers and generators in Bindura was a hard worker. He believed in soldiering on with your beliefs and staying focused. He also believed in having cordial relations with his children, delving into humorous and thought provoking talks with his son. He was a cool dad who made them advance out of the rural areas into the suburban setting, a dream come true for most hard working families. His mother worked as a human resources management officer at a demining company. She was mostly exposed to foreigners at her work place. She often shared the stories about the delinquent nature of the deminers and also stories about her British boss Tom. Nyasha whose lewd behaviour at times, had her talking about wanting to have a one night stand with her mom's boss, always made Tanaka give her the look. Her never ending idiosyncrasies always added the fun aspect to a gloomy day. Collin was mostly at boarding school in the states, but always made his appearance back home during the holidays. Collin was an enigmatic, focused, and level headed person, a man of many talents whose stay was not long lasting. Tanaka always wanted to be around him, but his life in America unfortunately, denied him the chance to bond with his brother. As Tanaka thought about Collin, he began to remember what Nicholai had uttered about him. The iteration of him being a secret agent who worked for a secret society called Zeal didn't seem at all too farfetched anymore. He was in a horrific world, the thought of his brother being an agent was no longer something to behold with awe, but the very idea got him thinking. If Zeal was a secret society of some sort, did they know the world was going to be as it is now or is this some unpredictable apocalypse? Tanaka's thoughts lingered in that area of confusion and scrutiny, trying to picture his brother as the so called super spy. A black James bond fit the bill, but moments later as he heard more screams and sounds of flesh being hammered by voracious ingesters, he began to see the vanity of thinking. As far as he was concerned, everyone on the planet was f.u.c.ked. He tried to think that this phenomenon was an isolated event that was only happening in Zimbabwe, but such wishful thinking as he had seen in a lot of survival post apocalyptic TV shows made him think otherwise. Upon becoming swept away by hopelessness like a damsel in distress, he began to think about his friends and the girl who had rejected him recently at school. A certain manic circular logic made him think that this event was made for him to get back at Samantha Mutasa, the girl who had given him an unexpected horse kick. In Tanaka's head he believed karma had come back to strike his enemies, but the collateral damage was also applied on the people he loved. As the way things were now, Tanaka began to realise a lot of things; he won't get laid, his antic.i.p.ated post O'level excursions were no longer possible, and he wouldn't get to watch any of his favourite shows or do the fun things he had set his eyes on for the rest of the year. The question, which was left now, was whether he was willing to live in this world or not. The world had gone to s.h.i.+t and though suicide had never ever surfaced in his mind before, the seeds of self harm began to sprout out bleak ideas. Should he go on living in this world? What was the point if he would just end up like that man who was being eaten by a despicable being? These ideas did their rounds in his thoughts, congesting his cranium with more negative thoughts. His impaired vision and dependence on his torch to light the way were encouraging these self destructive ideas to the point of nurturing them into concrete truths. Tanaka could not stand the stench of blood and the sense of uncertainty of not being able to see things outside the reach of his torch light. Killing himself as a means to end the nightmare was an option taking deep root in his reasoning, but as much as he dreaded the current state of the world, he dreaded death even more. His cowardice saved him from making a great mistake, but somehow in the back of his mind he wished he had died in the car crash. The cold steel penetrating his flesh would have been horrible, but having to deal with this nightmare and knowledge of ma.s.s human extinction was enough to drive any sane man mad. Tanaka eventually discarded the idea of killing himself and laid in his corner, hearing the sounds of suffering in the infinite void. Each scream and heinous voice told a tale of its own. Tanaka began to wonder how everyone was managing in this ma.s.sacre, a humanitarian idea that came as a means to console his loneliness. The questions of whether there were others out there like him who were still alive and if there were those who were totally safe were Tanaka's way of clinging onto hope. It was clear that this side of town was dangerous and that the rampancy of death was as visible as the infinite darkness, but there had to be someone. Tanaka was too afraid to call out for help lest he attracted a gang of hungry beasts to murder him. He sat there quietly, enduring the smell of over excessive gratuitous violence and s.h.i.+vering in the cold. The June winter of Zimbabwe had given him a cruel dose of frost bites and potential hypothermia, an additional negative to his already bleak scenario, but the worst possible thing that could happen to him was death. His anxiety and inability to sleep did not overshadow his appreciation of being alive in a world where everyone had been added to the menu: a swallows.h.i.+p of fiends as they celebrated the banquet of human flesh.

Tanaka had hugged his own body, trying to fend himself against the June winter. The goose b.u.mps had now colonised his body, taking owners.h.i.+p of his once relaxed fine features, but the cold was the least of his worries. The hunger began to take precedence in him. Tanaka had manipulated his body into ignoring his desire for food as he had been distracted by the thoughts of self preservation. He had managed to pull through a whole day, concentrating his mind on one idea, surviving. However all n.o.ble things come to an end and a man eventually has to eat. Tanaka looked at his watch and had realised that it was 03:23am. He was beginning to feel the adverse effects of sleep deprivation and cramps. Sleeping had not been an option for him for he could hear things lurking in the dark. Complacency in a world where people were eaten for breakfast, lunch, and dinner was not something that could facilitate sleep. Tanaka's eyes were heavy, milky and losing their strength. The light intensity of the torch helped keep him rejuvenated for a while, but that trick was slowly losing its effect as his body tried to initiate repose. Tanaka had moved a bit, picking up a piece of a broken sign post. The piece was quite heavy and looked as if it was dislodged from the very ground. Tanaka wanted to defend himself, though seeing how these things were like, he didn't believe that his poll had any feasible combat advantages at all. He only kept it as something better than using his hands. The noises and nocturnal movements in the dark had become intermittent. Tanaka would hear things on occasion, thinking that death had finally come to claim him, but nothing so far ever happened. He was ignored or not noticed. He had spotted one of those crawling foetuses that were dragging their dead mothers via their umbilical cords, munching on the left overs of human remains that had been conspersed on the tarmac of the Avenues. Tanaka this time had observed it without any aversion. It had maggots and moulds all over its body like a dried up sea bed with overlying algae and dead fish. The creature though, showed certain repulsion towards his torch light, grimacing as it showed its ugly face, which had black eyes, no nose and puss like lips as it crawled away into the darkness. This had also happened when he had seen a 7inch maggot that looked more like a human spleen basking in menstrual blood, moving like a snail and leaving its disgusting trail. The creature began to bleed rapidly, almost as if it were affected by his torch light. It even went from being sloth like in pace and sped off into the darkness like a black mamba. These new discoveries were making him consider the possibility that these creatures were afraid of his light. However, he hadn't seen this work yet on the bigger beasts yet for he hadn't encountered any after midnight. The quietness of his surroundings around 03:00am had also incited him to change what he was doing. He was hungry and extremely tired, even seeing things that weren't even there due to exhaustion. His tummy began to rumble and his internal discomfort began to overpower his will to remain on his own self proclaimed corner of safety. Tanaka remembered on the discovery channel that there were 2 particular terms and states for the process of starvation. One was ketosis and the other was autophagy. Ketosis was when the body would change its metabolic system upon 6 hours of not having food, converting the stored up glucose and fats into food, the body's way of eating itself for survival. Autophagy on the other hand was when the body reached its peak of strife as starvation continued. The body would thus devour its own muscle tissues to feed the rest of the system, causing the limbs of the one starved to become flabby. Starvation also led to marasmus and kwas.h.i.+orkor, two diseases that had been etched into Tanaka's mind in the General paper studies during his primary school days. Apart from his cognitive acceptance that he wanted to eat something badly, the fear of getting sick and prolonged hunger had materialised in his head. Though he was afraid to move away from his current position, he could not neglect the call of nature. He was hungry and the lack of sleep was giving him severe fatigue. The horrible stench, terrible cold, lack of sleep and stomach's cravings, had driven him mad. He couldn't take it anymore, he had to do something to mitigate this hunger, or else he would devolve into something far much uncivilised, a rabid man.

Another hour had pa.s.sed making it now 04:00am and this time it was now quiet. Tanaka was still alive and starved, but this time his volition dared him to look for food. The fear that had once grasped his body firmly was now being overcome by his natural cravings and in the end, Tanaka could not handle having an empty stomach. The young man thus began to rise up slowly, taking a hold of the steel poll with his right hand and torch with his left hand. He was going to move out with finding food as his main aim. The Chinamano Avenue Montagu shopping centre was just before 2nd street was. It was the mini supermarket just opposite the Baines Avenue flats and hospital. It seemed like the best idea to scrounge for food there. Tanaka also hoped that the food hadn't been compromised or become bad. The young man who was turning 16 soon in July was about to display a brazen attempt to have bravado in a dark and bizarre world. His life was in danger, but he had to capitalise on this silence. If this was going to be his last meal on earth then so be it. He had to be strong in this bleak world of pain and despair.

Tanaka trotted, using his light as his guide as he walked facing downwards. His movements had knee jerking involved, something that showed that every step he took required an ounce of bravery to get to where he was now. The torch had the element of always surprising him as he walked. He would come across potholes filled with b.l.o.o.d.y puddles, tendons lying on the ground, vehicle wreckages and b.l.o.o.d.y clothes dropped at random. Tanaka crossed over the 2nd street road and went deeper into the Chinamano Avenue lane. He could see that the trees were still intact, with blood dripping down their leaves whenever the wind would blow. His steps were the only audible thing in the darkness, each tiny step leading him close to the mini supermarket. Tanaka pa.s.sed through a number of things; mangled human flesh, shattered gla.s.s, a demolished durawall to his right and a black liquid. He wasn't sure if it was blood, fuel or none of the above, but he made an effort to not stain his shoes in the puddle of unknown fluids. The crickets could be heard from where he was and the sound of night bugs was prevalent. The sound at first startled him until he recognised the familiar noises that he had heard constantly after a heavy fall of rain, the sound of insect activity. It bothered him though that the insects carried on with their simple and non spectacular lives, ignoring the end of the world and the b.l.o.o.d.y tragedies that came with it. This very idea made him angry, but at the same time, he began to wonder why he was angry at a couple of bugs. He realised that hunger, lack of sleep and the cold were driving him crazy. He then immediately put that thought on hold and went on to focus on ideas that are more productive. Tanaka by now was at the pharmacy. His light spotted b.l.o.o.d.y stained walls and a broken window, which showed signs of forced entry. The inside of the store looked like abstract art of human remains with a touch of Pica.s.so in his depraved years. The mini supermarket was just after the ATM, which was just after the pharmacy. This meant that he was close and he was hoping for something edible. In the pharmacy, he could see medication and boxes all thrown everywhere. The ground was full of broken bottles of cough syrup, MMTs, Prozac, squashed bubble gum wrappers, disgorged wooden counters, and a hole in the ceiling. The unsettling mystery behind that ceiling made him want to avoid entering the pharmacy at all costs. Tanaka moved forward, tip toeing past what looked like bricks and reinforced steel. The bricks were plentiful and Tanaka decided to look upwards at the right and around, twirling his torch. To his dismay, he saw the roof top section of the Baines Avenue hospital levelled 4meters downwards. It was as if the key piece to demolis.h.i.+ng the Tetris structure had landed on that building, decreasing its imposing height. Something big had knocked out the infrastructure and Tanaka was the only one to view this. Tanaka then hissed to himself, "What the h.e.l.l did this?" It was a gothic imagery of how bad things had turned out, but what was ahead of him was going to scare him even more. Tanaka pa.s.sed the ATM machine, which was still intact and got to the closed gla.s.s doors of the mini supermarket. The store from inside as his torch light permitted, showed that it was still intact. Everything was in order, nothing was misplaced, mostly the non perishables. What Tanaka quickly realised is how the torch light bounced back from the mirrors he had targeted. The lighting in the room became more natural, something that had surprised Tanaka since his light's performance only covered a certain part in its differed state. Tanaka thus gazed at the goods in the store. His hunger began to swell in his stomach as he was stimulated by all the food in view. Bread, biscuits, refrigerated drinks, and many more delicacies were in plain sight. All that was left was to access the store. Tanaka wielding his poll looked at it and then an idea came to mind. His first burglary offense was about to commence. He lifted his weapon and hammered it at the gla.s.s door. The first strike made it crack, the second made it shatter and finally the third made it crash and burn. The noise of the gla.s.s breaking made him freak-out a bit. He was scared that the sound would attract things in the dark, but to his merit, nothing came. He was still safe and now he was only left with the food beyond. As he walked slowly, he took a misstep on one of the broken pieces of moist gla.s.s and fell backwards. He landed on his back, with the torch in his hand. The pain of landing hurt, but his adrenaline fixed it quickly. As he glanced at the side, having noticed that the shop was no longer visible anymore, what was in the view of his torch was a disaster. It was an international airplane that had crashed. It was charred, drenched in the b.l.o.o.d.y rain water and had levelled two flats upon plummeting to the ground. This level of chaos was scarring Tanaka even more, and thus this was truly the end of the world.

Tanaka entered the shop, precariously, scrutinizing everything around him. The shop teller counters computers were all turned off and the ever sharp pen boxes and usual lollipops and sweets in plastic bowls were all in intact. As soon as he slipped in, he felt the warmth of the room. It was better than being outside where he had to deal with the winter and other ugly things. On instinct, his mind told him to cover the entrance. Though he had not fully a.s.sessed his environment, he felt as if he would not encounter anything at all in the shop. The fact that the store was still orderly and uncompromised gave him the impression that all was well in this supermarket. At first, the idea of using a trolley crossed his mind, but anything with wheels could easily be rolled away. He automatically scratched that out and thought of something else. He looked for any boxes lying around and found nothing. The whole process seemed stupid to him and he ended up regretting why he had tried to be clever in the first place. Tanaka immediately forgot the effort and headed towards the back sections of the store. He opened the fridge, which had the spring water and took one bottle. He placed the poll on the floor as he washed his hands and poured the liquid into his system. It was refres.h.i.+ng, an elixir that relieved him from his thirst. Tanaka went on to take another bottle, was.h.i.+ng away the blood soaked hands; he even went on to get the 5litres of water and poured it all over his body. The relief he got from cleansing himself was like taking a good s.h.i.+t after severe constipation, it gave him solid peace of mind. Tanaka had tolerated the stench on his body for a bit after the b.l.o.o.d.y rain, but this was his chance to get rid of the repulsive body odour. The torch was placed on a sledge as he bathed himself. The blood on his body flowed downwards as he poured loads of water on his body, ending its unsolicitated stay. The whole process wet the ground and spoiled it with red. As soon as Tanaka was done, he tore through the packets of chips, biscuits and devoured many like a starved animal. It had only been a day plus, but sitting in that corner made him feel like it had been several weeks of h.e.l.l. Tanaka tore through the expensive chocolate bars that cost $9 and the black forest cakes. A balanced diet was not on the agenda, all he was doing was just feeding. Tanaka opened the fridge with all the fizzy drinks and alcohol, drinking up to 4 cans of sprite, fanta, and coca cola, reviving the inner fizzy drunkard in himself. He imbibed a lot of the juice and was enjoyed it. He saw a can of Russian bear and at first hesitated, reminded by the fact that he was under age. However, he remembered that the world had gone to s.h.i.+t and that there weren't any adults or law abiding people here to stop him. He hissed to himself, "Well it's not like I am going to get another chance like this to drink booze so I might as well try this." The can was opened by the curious teenager who took a sip and then squinted his eyes upon tasting it. It was sweet and sour, but mostly had a tang of sweetness. The alcohol mixed with the already settled soft drink juice in his bowels, making him feel as if he was pregnant with multiple flavours inside of him, all due to be expunged . Unlike the other liquids, the beverage settled in his body and began to warm him up. Tanaka opted to take more, but somehow he had enough. He was full and happy to have mitigated the hunger. In retrospect, the end of the world wasn't all that bad; he had free food, he could raid buildings and could trespa.s.s them anytime. As long as nothing came to eat him, he could embrace this bliss for a while.