Reasons I Fell for the Funny Fat Friend Part 8

"Really?"

"MmmHmm." She picks up a bag. "What the fart is Late Night All Nighter Cheeseburger?"

"One of the best kinds." I take the bag and she raises an eyebrow. "What? Not a cheeseburger fan?"

She makes a face. Dude, that eyebrow crinkle gets me every time. "I eat cheeseburgers, just not in powder form on corn chips."

"You're missin' out." I put the bag back on the shelf and go for the traditional Nacho Cheese.

"I don't want to be the party p.o.o.per," she says reaching for the chips in my hand. "You can get what you want. I'm just a tag-a-long."

I laugh. "Tanner is a Nacho Cheese guy. And you're not tagging along, Hayles. I invited you."

She gives me a wide grin. "Tanner has good taste buds. I like him already."

"You don't know him?" That's a shocker. Tanner's one of those people seems like everyone knows. Football team, popular girlfriend, friends with pretty much everyone *cause he's so loud.

Hayley shakes her head. "I know of him. But I don't know him, know him, you know?" She giggles. "I think I just said *know' about fifty times."

I laugh... again-always around her, really. "You are so wonderfully bizarre."

Her face gets a little red, and I think mine does too. I guess I said that out loud.

"You haven't seen anything yet." She stops mid-walk right before we get to the checkout stand. "Hmm..."

"What?"

"Want to do something fun?"

Her eyes tell me this is something more embarra.s.sing than fun. "Uh..."

She s.n.a.t.c.hes the bag from my hands and stomps to the cas.h.i.+er. What the h.e.l.l?

"Excuse me," she says to the lady, who sets down the magazine she was reading. "I was hoping you could help settle an argument."

I've never heard Hayley sound annoyed before. She's always upbeat and funny without being *theater geek' irritating. Now she sounds p.i.s.sed.

The cas.h.i.+er's eyebrows shoot to the sky, but she answers, "Okay, hun. What's the problem?"

"You see my friend over there?" Hayley points right at me, and if I wasn't beet red before, I am now. "Well, come here, Brody so you can argue your side too."

Holy h.e.l.l.

Why am I walking over there?

"Okay, so here's the story," she huffs and turns back to the cas.h.i.+er. "It's my birthday next weekend, right? And Brody here wanted to get some stuff for the party. Now, we've been friends for like ever, so he should know I hate Nacho Cheese Doritos."

The cas.h.i.+er nods and glances at me. I don't know how I'm supposed to respond. This is pretty much past the point of embarra.s.sing.

"And do you see this?" Hayley grabs the chips and shoves them in the poor woman's face. Now I'm trying not to laugh. "He goes straight for them. Know why?" She doesn't let the cas.h.i.+er answer. "Because they're his favorite!"

The chips go flying back on the counter as Hayley turns on me. Her mouth is all about the fake rage over the stupid chips, but her eyes are laughing. "How selfish is that? For my birthday, I think I'm okay to request Ranch Doritos. Even though you hate them."

She turns back to the cas.h.i.+er. "Right?"

The poor woman's eyes switch back and forth between the two of us, and she squeaks, "Maybe get both?"

Hayley slams her fist on the counter and both me and cas.h.i.+er victim jump back. "That's not the point!" Her voice cracks. She's crying. Crying! Over chips.

Bravo.

I'm a horrible actor, but I'm goin' to try my best here. This is sort-of fun.

I shove my hand in my pocket and toss the cash on the counter. Taking the bag of chips and Hayley's wrist, I say, "Well, it's my birthday too. We're sharing this party, remember? And if I'm buyin', I'm getting what I want."

The look on the cas.h.i.+er's face almost makes me lose it and bust out laughing right there. "You can keep the change."

I tug Hayley toward the door. She yanks from my grasp but follows me. When we get to the car, her face breaks open into a huge smile, and she claps.

"Well played, Brody. Holy freakin' baby cows. That was full of awesomesauce!"

I want to grab her in one of those amazing hugs again. This girl is full of awesomesauce.

Once we stop our ridiculous laughter, I open the door and ask over the frame as she plops down, "Care to explain why we just freaked out that girl?"

"*Cause it's fun! Also, she was reading the Soap Digest. Thought I'd give her another *big drama over nothing' story."

She buckles and gestures for me to get in the car.

"You know," I say as I start the engine, "you sure can act. If I wasn't in on it, I would've thought you were really p.i.s.sed."

She shrugs and presses on the radio, sticking her feet on the dash. "I didn't make up all of it."

"Don't tell me that's actually happened before."

"Ha! No. I was just saying that it really is my birthday next week. Eighteen, baby!"

"Cool. You doin' anything?"

She shakes her head, still smilin'. "Nah. Birthdays and I don't have the best track record. But still, I'll be an adult! I'm so ready to graduate and move out."

Ditto on that one. If I get to graduate, I'm so outta here.

The rest of the drive doesn't take long, and Hayles yaps my ear off about the colleges she wants to go to, whether she'll live in the dorms or rent an apartment, and what kind of jobs she'll apply for. She sounds real excited about it all, makin' me excited for her, but all this talk makes me wonder if I should get attached so close to the end of the year.

"Okay," she says as we step on Tanner's porch, "you sure he's cool with me being here? I mean, this is a dude's thing, right?"

"Dani's here too. So, no, it's not just a *dude' thing."

Her hand clasps my wrist, and she tugs me back so I'm inches from her face.

Stomach twists, mouth pools, palms sweat.

Ah h.e.l.l.

"They don't think... like, this isn't a date, is it?"

Guess the idea of being on a date with me scares the c.r.a.p out of her.

"Nah, of course not." I gulp. "Just friends hangin' out."

She drops my arm and takes a step back, her cheeks flaming.

"Oh good." She sighs. "Then there's no pressure for me to be all flirty and stuff. *Cause I really don't know how to do that."

Well, whatever she has been doin', it's working on me.

I chuckle and walk in without knocking. Hayles gives me a hesitant look, but follows.

"Doritos?" Tanner pipes up from the couch, not even lookin' at me or Hayley.

I chuck the bag right at the back of his head. It smacks him and he leaps off the couch, fists raised, but stops when he sees Hayley standing next to me.

"Okay dude, you got lucky. I'm not going to beat you up in front of your girl."

"Oh, I'm not his girl. He only wishes." She nudges my arm.

If she only knew how right she is.

Tanner chuckles. "I like you already. It's Hayley, right?"

She nods.

"Sweet. You can have a seat over there. Dani'll be here-"

"Right now." Tanner's girl skips in, holding a two liter bottle of Cherry Pepsi and smacks a kiss on his lips before turning to face us.

I don't know how people are comfortable with PDA. Ugh.

"Uh, Dani, this is Hayley." I'm so awkward with this. It does feel like a double date now that I think about it. And I know Hayles doesn't want anythin' to do with that. How do I make this less awkward?

"Sup?" Gangster Hayles has arrived, and she gives Dani a fist b.u.mp.

"Yeah, I like you already too. Why don't we hang out in school?" Dani asks as she drags Hayley to the couch. Tanner goes into the kitchen with the soda and chips, and I take a seat on the floor in front of the girls.

"Probably because I'm a major dork." Hayley laughs.

"Whatever," Dani says. "Dorks are the best kind of people."

"Okay suckas! Get ready to be wiped out!" Tanner comes in with a bowl of half-crushed chips, cups, and the soda. He plops them on the coffee table then leaps over to grab all the controllers. I throw Hayley a smile as I lean back to look at her.

"You ever play Ghost Recon?"

She beams at me. "You are so. Going. Down."

s.e.xiness should be based on a scale. And there are certain things that make the points rise or fall. Whooping my b.u.t.t at a guy's game-not just whooping, but completely wiping me out and rubbing my face in it-yeah, about a million s.e.xy points.

Hayles has broken the s.e.xiness scale.

And my ego, just a little bit. But who cares right now?

"s.h.i.+t, man." Tanner says, tossing his remote down. "She's good."

There's the flinch but it's gone before I think anyone else notices it. She stands up and victory dances with the controller. "That's right, baby! I warned you, but now you have to eat all that smack talk you gave me!"

Dani starts laughing like crazy and gets up to dance with her. They b.u.mp hips and shake their a.s.ses as they throw out scores and how girls can *so beat boys' in video games. I'm pretty sure Tanner and I have lost all concentration. I can't take my eyes off them. It may be a minute before I can stand.

After they finish dancing-thank all that is holy *cause I'm not sure how much of that I could've taken before I had to leave the room-Hayles plops herself next to me. Right next to me. Her warm body presses against my arm and her heavy breath tickles my face as she gives me a big smile.

I have no idea how stupid I look. I think I'm gawking.

"Don't be so sad, Brody. Maybe next time I'll let you live longer than ten minutes."

"Uh, yeah, uh huh." Oh h.e.l.l, my tongue won't work.

Dani giggles. "You broke his brain! I think that deserves another victory dance."

Yeah, can't handle another one of those. I shoot upright and mumble something about havin' to p.i.s.s and get outta there.

Calm down, Brody.

I splash water on my face and dry it off with the hand towel. Why am I so nervous? Even when it comes to Quynn, I never react this way to somethin' so stupid. It's more than just being turned on-which I am-but I can't believe how awesome this girl is.

What is wrong with me? I can't fall for Hayles. She's helping me get another girl. And how screwed up will that be if I turn out to be exactly like douchebag brother?

So make up your mind, Brody. Quynn or Hayley?

I can't believe it's even an option right now. I've spent more time with Hayley over the past two days than I've spent with her period. She's constantly on my mind. Her personality is addictive, not to mention she's hot as h.e.l.l.

Then there's Quynn. I'm ashamed to admit my initial attraction to her was purely physical. But then I got to know her, and how fun and what a good person she is. She deserves someone way better than Gabe, and though I'm not exactly happy with the way they broke up, I am happy she's rid of him.

But am I any better? Here I am with another girl when Quynn's at my house.

Dude, Brody. What have you gotten yourself into?

"Yo, man! Hurry up! I gotta go too." Tanner knocks on the door. I make sure there's no water marks left on my face before I go out.

"Was that hot or what? Dude, invite a girl every time."