Reasons I Fell for the Funny Fat Friend Part 3

She shrugs. "Kind of. Like, if you want some pointers and stuff like that, I think I can help."

Is she for real? Part of me wants to laugh the offer off, stick it in a box and chuck it into the Willamette. But the other part-probably the stupid, hopeful part-wonders if she could really make it happen.

Quynn has always been a fantasy. An unattainable source of s.e.xy-a.s.s girl who used to sleep with my brother-which I try not to think about-and a complicated friends.h.i.+p scrunched together in a ball of *I so wish I could kiss you and not get slapped in the face for it'. But what if she actually became more than that?

"What did you mean when you said I'm not hopeless?"

She finishes singing the chorus to the song. "I think she really likes you too. She just doesn't know it yet." She sings some more. "Or she's holding back *cause she's not sure how you feel. But I betcha if you play your cards right, when you let loose, she'll be thinking very differently about you, Brody."

Did my stomach just do a little twist? I can't tell if it's because of what she said, or how she said it.

"Turn here. I'm the second house on the right. You can pull into the driveway. My mom works nights." She pauses and laughs. "I'm rhyming again. Geez!"

I put the car in park and reach back for her umbrella. She tightens and recoils against the door when I brush against her arm.

Definite germ-a-phobe.

"Well, thanks for the ride. And let me know about the other thing if you want."

I nod, not sure what else to do. I kind of want to give her a hug or something. But I have no idea why that sudden thought comes to me.

"Uh, y-you're welcome." You sound like a moron, Brody. Say something else to make you sound less like a moron. "Maybe next time we talk you'll be rhyming words with *fart'.

Nice one, dude. Very smooth.

"Start, mart, cart..." She laughs. "Bart, heart, dart, part, tart..." She laughs again, really loud. "And don't forget shart!"

Her face goes a little red, but I'm not sure if it's *cause she's embarra.s.sed for saying that, or if it's *cause we're both cracking up so much the windows fog.

Yup, I don't think it's possible to feel awkward for long around this girl.

She puts the book on her head and opens the umbrella outside the door. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, Brody."

There goes that stomach twist again.

"See ya."

Just like that, she's gone, and I'm driving back home, wondering what to do with her offer.

Hayley's good at just about everything she does, so maybe she could help me get the girl.

Am I a lunatic for considering it?

Yes, you are.

But then Quynn pops up. Right there in the forefront of my mind. From the long blonde hair to her flip-flops and I'm there with her, cradling her against my chest and all that other romantic junk too cheesy to share with anyone.

I pretty much blow at getting the girl. I think my longest relations.h.i.+p lasted a week when Lily Peters labeled me as her make-out partner in an attempt to make Ian Dunn jealous. That sucked a.s.s *cause I actually liked the girl. But oh well.

Since then I've never really been involved with anyone. Few dates here and there, but nothing serious. And Quynn will definitely be lookin' for something serious. She's a major commitment girl, especially after what happened with Gabe. I kind of want to do that for her. She deserves someone who's not my douche brother. But how do I get her to think I'm for real?

Hayley's offer is sounding better and better. Do I even have her number in my phone? I think she put it in there during one of our cla.s.ses together, but I can't remember why. And I don't look at my phone often enough to know for sure if she's in my contacts.

"There you are!" Mom says as I trudge in the house. "I told you not to be long."

"I would've been faster if I didn't run out of gas."

Her face goes from annoyance to *my bad' in two seconds. Dad laughs from the recliner.

"Why didn't you call?" Mom asks, her tone now all gooey, like the one moms use when they wanna say, *You poor baby!'

"It wasn't a big deal." I shrug and slump into the couch. "Gas station was only about a block away."

"But it was raining." She frowns, and I think she may start strokin' my hair or something. Ugh.

"I ran into a friend, and she had an umbrella."

"She?" Dad raises his eyebrow. He's my stepdad, but he's more of a dad than bio-dad is. Bio-dad pulled a Gabe and destroyed Mom's heart by runnin' out on her with another chick. But Mark, he's not like that.

"Yeah. Girl in my ASL cla.s.s. She walked with me to the gas station then I took her home." Yeah, I'm honest with my parents. Vague, but honest.

"That was nice of her." Mom smiles while Dad still shoots me the eyebrow. "What's her name?"

"Hayley."

"Oh that's right. You're signing partner." Mom waves her hand in the air then sets it on Dad's shoulder. "Well, now that we're all here, we can eat."

She walks off into the kitchen. I'm about to follow her-stomach needs some attention-but Dad leans forward, not lookin' at me but at where Mom just disappeared.

"All right, kid, I know you're a big boy, but I skipped this conversation with Gabe, and you see how well that turned out."

"What are you talkin' about?"

"I'd like to think I've taught you by example how to treat the women in your life with respect."

Yeah, he has. So I nod.

"You just be good to all the girls out there."

"She's just a friend, Dad."

"Doesn't matter."

I mentally pat myself on the back for opening Hayley's door for her. "O-kay."

"Are you guys coming?" Mom yells from the kitchen.

I bolt for the table before Dad can unleash anymore parental wisdom on me.

Reason 4: It's easy with you.

Is this Hayley?

Delete.

Uh, hey. This is Brody. Took you home earlier and I was...

Delete.

So, been thinking about your offer...

Ugh.

This is why I don't use my phone. I sound so stupid via text. I suck in a breath and try again, pressin' send before I can change my mind.

Hayley? Brody. Just wanted to make sure I had your number right.

It's gone, and I can't overa.n.a.lyze my lack of text lingo.

The phone vibrates about fifteen seconds later.

Ding ding ding! You win! Would u like prize behind curtain #1, curtain #2, or curtain #3?

I chuckle and shake my head as I type my response.

2 is my lucky number.

Send.

Okay. Getting easier. Only one try that time.

You've won a 20 min phone convo. with yours truly. Call me when u get this msg to claim ur prize! :) I hit the dial b.u.t.ton before I even think about what I'm doing. She's just easy to talk to. Even via text.

"Sup?" She says it like one of those gangsters.

"Hey."

"How goes it?"

"Uh, all right."

"Wow." She laughs. "You are full of conversation. I don't know if twenty minutes will be long enough."

At least she can't see my face go red. "I was just wonderin' what you were doing tomorrow after school?"

"Hmm... Hang on a sec."

A door slams, and the music in the background m.u.f.fles.

"Sorry, I think I heard you wrong. Did you ask me what my plans were tomorrow?"

"Uh, yeah." Was that wrong?

"Oh."

Is that all she's going to say?

"Uh, Hayley? You still there?"

"Yeah, sorry. Um, I'm just going to go to the library again, hopefully without the rain this time."

I clear my throat. Why is this so hard? It's not like I'm asking her out.

No, just asking her to hook you up with some other girl.

"Want company?"

"You want to hang out with me?"

"Yeah."

She pauses again. What do I say? Do I say anything? Or just sit here like a moron?

"This isn't a date is it?"

"Uh-"

"Because I don't want your pity."

"What?"

"I don't want a pity date just *cause I haven't been on one."

I laugh. I don't mean to but it just happens. "No. It's not a date. I wanted to talk to you about, you know, what you said earlier."

"Oh!" She laughs. "Yeah, that's totally fine."

"Then I'll pick you up after school. That okay?"

"Awesomesauce."

There's that word again. I chuckle. "Awesomesauce."

"Oh! I gotta go. You can claim the rest of your fifteen minutes some other time."