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A: Because the captain was standing on the deck!
Q: Why did the chicken walk onto the football pitch?
A: The referee whistled for a fowl
Q: Why do you call your dog Metal-worker?
A: Because every time he hears a knock he makes a bolt for the door.
Q: Why was the Turkey in the pop group?
A: Because he was the only one with drum-sticks!
Q: Why did the lettuce blush?
A: It saw the salad dressing
Q: Why was the belt arrested?
A: For holding up my pants
Q: What kind of nut has no sh.e.l.l?
A: A Doughnut
Q: What has teeth and can't bite?
A: A comb
Q: What keys can't open doors?
A: Monkeys, Turkeys and Donkeys
Q: What is the quietest sport?
A: Bowling you can hear a pin drop
Q: What kind of room has no doors or windows?
A: A mushroom
Q: What do you throw away when you use it and collect when you don't need it?
A: An Anchor
The Italian government is considering installing a clock in the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
The reason?
What good is it to have the inclination if you don't have the time?
Q: Why isn't your ear 12 inches long?
A: If it was, it would be a foot.
Q: Why is a calendar so popular?
A: Because it has a lot of dates.
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don't work.
Q: What part of a car causes the most accidents?
A: The nut behind the wheel.
Q: Why was the broom late?
A: Because it over swept!
Q: Why is any compliment from a chicken be an insult?
A: Because it's a fowl remark.
Q: What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a goat?
A: A stuck-up kid that's hard to handle.
Q: Why are spiders like tops?
A: Because they are always spinning.
Q: Did the people laugh when the lady fell on the ice?
A: No but the ice cracked up.
Q: Why are mummies good secret agents?
A: Because they are good at keeping things under wraps!
Q: What do you call a country, where all the cars in it are pink?
A: A pink carnation
Q: What did Frankenstein say after his brain transplant?
A: I think I changed my mind.
Q: Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall?
A: To make up for a lousy summer
Q: Why did the farmer plant old car parts in his garden?
A: He wanted to raise a b.u.mper crop.
Q: What bird never goes to a barber?
A: A bald eagle
Q: What does a dancer usually drink?
A: Tap water
Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?
A: Bacon would go up.
Q: Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?
A: Because she never marries the best man.
Q: What the fortune teller say to the saleslady when she went cloths shopping A: I think I'm a medium.
Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud.
Well, sir, it was ground only five minutes ago.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pastry chef with a soft drink.
A: Baking soda.
