The Queer, the Quaint and the Quizzical Part 36

_Woman's Cleverness._

It is a singular fact that on one occasion the lives of thousands of the Irish Protestants were saved by a clever device of a woman.

At the latter end of Queen Mary's reign a commission was signed for the purpose of punis.h.i.+ng the heretics in that kingdom, and Dr. Cole, Dean of St. Paul's, was honored with the appointment, to execute which he set off with great alacrity. On his arrival at Chester, he sent for the mayor to sup with him, and, in the course of conversation, related his business. Going to his cloak-bag, he took out the box containing the commission, and, having shown it, with great joy exclaimed: "This will lash the heretics of Ireland." Mrs. Edmonds, the landlady, overheard this discourse, and having several relations in Ireland who were Protestant, as well as herself, resolved to play a trick upon the doctor, and while he went to attend the magistrate to the door, took the commission out of the box, and in its room placed a pack of cards, with the knave of clubs uppermost. The zealous doctor, suspecting nothing of the matter, put up his box, took s.h.i.+pping and arriving safe in Dublin, went immediately to the viceroy. A council was called, and, after a speech, the doctor delivered his box, which being opened by the secretary, the first thing that presented itself was the knave of clubs.

The sight surprised the viceroy and the council, but much more the doctor, who a.s.sured them that he had received a commission from the queen, but what had become of it he could not tell. "Well, well,"

replied the viceroy, "you must go back for another, and we will shuffle the cards in the meantime." The doctor hastened across the channel, but at Holyhead he received the intelligence of the queen's death, and the accession of Elizabeth, who settled on Mrs. Edmonds a pension of forty pounds a year for saving her Protestant subjects in Ireland.

_Queer Place to Secrete a Diamond._

An old gentleman recently died at Brussels who has solved in his will a problem which his friends could never quite unravel. He came home after a few years absence abroad, some time ago, with plenty of pecuniary means, though when he left Brussels he went literally to seek his fortune, since he had none on starting. In his will, before he specifies his bequests, of which there are several very liberal ones to friends, relatives, and also to charitable inst.i.tutions, he tells for the first time how he became possessed of his wealth. He went to Asia and engaged himself as a day laborer in the mines, and while working there found a diamond of large size and great value. He at once made a deep cut in the calf of his leg, where he secreted the gem. Of course, the limb became very sore and lame, and led to his being permitted to leave the mine unsuspected. Having reached a safe locality, he removed the stone and the sore healed up. He worked his way to Amsterdam, where he sold the diamond for $80,000. This money, put at interest, not only afforded him a good living, but enabled him to go on acc.u.mulating. The precious stone is now one of the crown diamonds of Russia.

_Incredible Liars._

The French papers, in the autumn of 1821, mention that a man named Desjardins was tried, on his own confession, as an accomplice with Louvel, the a.s.sa.s.sin of the Duke de Berri. But on his defense, Desjardins contended that his confession ought not to be believed because he was so notorious for falsehood that n.o.body would give credit to a word he said. In support of this, he produced a host of witnesses, his friend and relatives, who all swore that the excessively bad character which he had given of himself was true, and he was declared not guilty.

Before that a similar instance occurred in Ireland. A man was charged with highway robbery. In the course of the trial the prisoner roared out from the dock that he was guilty, but the jury, in their verdict, p.r.o.nounced him "not guilty." "Good heavens, gentlemen!" exclaimed the astonished judge, "did you not hear the man himself declare that he was guilty?" The foreman answered: "We did, my lord, and that was the very reason we acquitted him, for we _knew_ the fellow to be such a notorious liar that he never told a word of truth in his life."

_Force of Imagination._

A peasant saw his dog attacked by a strange and ferocious mastiff. He tried to separate the animals, and received a bite from his own dog, which instantly ran off through the fields. The wound was healed in a few days, and the dog was not to be found, and the peasant after some time began to feel symptoms of nervous agitation. He conceived that the dog, from disappearing, was mad, and within a day or two after this idea had struck him, he began to feel symptoms of hydrophobia. They grew hourly more violent; he raved, and had all the evidence of a violent distemper.

As he was lying with the door open to let in the last air he was to breathe, he heard his dog bark. The animal ran up to the bedside and frolicked about the room; it was clear that he at least was in perfect health. The peasant's mind was relieved at the instant; he got up with renewed strength, dressed himself, plunged his head into a basin of water, and thus refreshed walked into the room to his astonished family.-_Prof. Barrantini._

_A Wife Returned._

The annexed story is gravely recorded in "Dodsley's Annual Register:"

"The following extraordinary affair happened at Ferrybridge, in 1767.

The wife of one Thomas Benson, being suddenly taken ill, she, to all appearances, expired, and continued without any symptoms of life the whole day, and every proper requisite was ordered for her burial; but the husband, hoping for consolation in his distress, by some money which he had reason to believe she had secreted from him in her lifetime, began a rummage for it, and found seven pounds ten s.h.i.+llings in crown pieces concealed in an old box; but, upon his attempting to take it away, he was surprised by his wife, who was just then recovered, and met him and terribly frightened him by appearing as if nothing had happened."

_Life in Death._

The wife of the consul of Cologne, Retchmuth, apparently died of the plague, in 1571. A ring of great value, buried with her, tempted the cupidity of the grave-digger, and was the cause of many future years of happiness. At night the purloiner marched to his plunder, and she revived. She lived to be the mother of three children, and, when really dead, she was reburied in the same church, where a monument was erected, upon which the above particulars are recited in German verse.-_Edmund Fillingham King._

_Remedy for Bad Dreams._

When a man has dreamed a bad dream in China he need not despair, for an interpreter of dreams is ready to supply him with a mystic scroll, which will avert the impending calamity. It is written on red or yellow paper, and the interpreter rolls it up in the form of a triangle and attaches it to the dress of his client. The dreamer is then made to look toward the east, with a sword in his right hand and his mouth full of spring water. In this position he ejects the water from his mouth, and beats the air with the sword, repeating in an imperative tone certain words, of which the following is an interpretation: "As quickly and with as much strength as rises the sun in the east, do thou, charm or mystic scroll, avert all the evil influences which are likely to result from my bad dream. As quickly as lightning pa.s.ses through the air, O charm, cause impending evils to disappear."-_Credulities Past and Present._

_The Letiche._

At Bayeux, in Normandy, one of the superst.i.tions still current relates to a being called a letiche. It is an animal whose form is scarcely defined-of dazzling whiteness-which is only seen in the night time, and disappears the moment any one attempts to touch it. The letiches are believed to be the souls of infants who died without baptism. Most probably this pretty little spirit was no other than the agile and timid ermine of Normandy and Brittany.-_Summer Among the Bocages._

_h.e.l.l-stones._

These were vast stones formerly used for covering graves, _helicin_ being the Saxon for "to cover" or conceal. In Dorsets.h.i.+re is one of these stones; and the tradition is, that the devil flung it from Portland Pike to its present position, as he was playing at quoits.

_The Golden Tooth._

In 1593 it was reported that a Silesian child, seven years old, had lost all its teeth, and that a golden tooth had grown in the place of a natural double one. In 1595 Horstius, professor of medicine in the University of Helmstadt, wrote the history of this golden tooth. He said it was partly a natural event and partly miraculous, and that G.o.d had sent it to the child to console the Christians for their persecution by the Turks. In the same year Rullandus drew up another account of the golden tooth. Two years afterwards, Ingosteterus, another learned man, wrote against the opinion which Rullandus had given on this golden tooth. Rullandus immediately replied in a most elegant and erudite dissertation. Libavius, a very learned man, compiled all that had been said relative to this tooth, and subjoined his remarks upon it. Nothing was wanting to recommend these erudite writings to posterity but proof that the tooth was gold. A goldsmith examined it, and found it a natural tooth artificially gilt.

_The Devil Regarded as a Benefactor of the Human Race._

The Ophites were a sect who, like most Gnostics, regarded the Jehovah of the Old Testament with great abhorrence. Regarding the emanc.i.p.ation of man from the power and control of Jehovah as the most important end, they considered the serpent who tempted Eve and introduced "knowledge"

and "revolt" into the world, to have been the great benefactor of the human race. They wors.h.i.+pped the serpent, and sought to engraft Ophism upon Christianity by causing the bread designed for the Eucharistic sacrifice to be licked by a serpent which was kept in a cave for the purpose, and which the communicants kissed after receiving the Eucharist.

_Curse of Scotland._

This is a term applied to the nine of diamonds in a pack of playing cards. Much uncertainty prevails respecting the origin of the phrase.

The most probable explanation is that it refers to the detestation entertained in Scotland toward John Dalrymple, first Earl of Stair, on account of his connection with the Ma.s.sacre of Glencoe, for which he had to resign office in 1695. The heraldic bearing of this person consisted of nine lozenges on a field of azure. These nine lozenges resembled the nine of diamonds, and hence the popular phrase, the "Curse of Scotland."

_Curse of Innocent Blood._

Southey, in his "Common-place Book," has traced the outlines of what might be worked up into a very effective story of "citation" for those who unjustly and cruelly put others to death. "The Philipsons of Colgarth coveted a field, like Ahab, and had the possessor hung for an offence which he had not committed. The night before his execution the old man (for he was very old) read the 109th Psalm as his solemn and dying commination, verses 2, 3, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16." The verses contain a prayer for vengeance upon the "wicked and deceitful,"

who "have spoken with a lying tongue," and whose days are to be few, their children to be fatherless and continually vagabonds and beggars, and their posterity to be cut off. "The curse," Southey adds, "was fully accomplished; the family were cut off, and the only daughter who remained sold laces and bobbins about the country."

_Legend of an Inventor._

A story is told of an inventor whose skill was the occasion of his own death. An immense bell, with the twelve hours carved upon it, had been hung in a high tower. A female figure was so arranged as to glide from her hiding place and strike each hour on the bell with a huge hammer.

Everything was in its place, and it had been previously arranged with the concourse below, who had a.s.sembled to hear the bell strike, that it should sound the hour of one. Forgetful that the hour approached, the artist was still at work upon the carving of the bell, with his head near it, when the female figure, true to the machinery that moved it, glided from its place, and, hammer in hand, struck a fatal blow upon the head of the workman.

_A Strange Legend._

We are told that when St. Helena had discovered the true cross of Christ, she permitted various fragments to be taken from it, which were encased, some in gold and some in gems, and conveyed to Europe, leaving the main part of the wood in the charge of the Bishop of Jerusalem, who exhibited it annually at Easter, until Chosroes, King of Persia, plundered Jerusalem in the reign of Phocas, and took away the holy relic. Before this fatal event we are taught to believe, by Rigordus, an historian of the thirteenth century, that the mouths of Christians used to be supplied with thirty teeth, and in some instances, no doubt according to their faith, with thirty-two teeth; but that _after_ the cross was stolen by the infidels no mortal has ever been allowed more than twenty-three!

_Abraham and Sarah._

The Talmudists relate that Abraham, in traveling to Egypt, brought with him a chest. At the custom house the officers exacted the duties.

Abraham would have readily paid them, but desired they would not open the chest. They first insisted on the duties for clothes, which Abraham consented to pay; but then they thought, by his ready acquiescence, that it might be gold; he consented to pay for gold. They then began to suspect it might contain silk, whereupon Abraham was willing to pay for silk or costly pearls; in short, he consented to pay as if the chest contained the most valuable of things. It was then resolved to open and examine the chest; and, behold! as soon as the chest was opened, that great l.u.s.tre of human beauty broke out which made such a noise in the land of Egypt,-it was Sarah herself! The jealous Abraham, to conceal her beauty, had locked her up in the chest.

_Tradition of the Temple._

There is a beautiful tradition connected with the site on which the temple of Solomon was erected. It is said to have been occupied in common by two brothers, one of whom had a family and the other none. On the spot was a field of wheat. On the evening succeeding the harvest, the wheat having been gathered in shocks, the elder brother said to his wife, "My younger brother is unable to bear the burden and heat of the day; I will arise, take of my shocks, and place them with his, without his knowledge." The other brother, actuated by the same benevolent motives, said within himself, "My elder brother has a family, and I have none; I will contribute to their support; I will arise, take of my shocks, and place them with his, without his knowledge."