Imaginary Conversations and Poems Part 9

BOSSUET AND THE d.u.c.h.eSS DE FONTANGES

_Bossuet._ Mademoiselle, it is the king's desire that I compliment you on the elevation you have attained.

_Fontanges._ O monseigneur, I know very well what you mean. His Majesty is kind and polite to everybody. The last thing he said to me was, 'Angelique! do not forget to compliment Monseigneur the bishop on the dignity I have conferred upon him, of almoner to the dauphiness. I desired the appointment for him only that he might be of rank sufficient to confess, now you are d.u.c.h.ess. Let him be your confessor, my little girl.'

_Bossuet._ I dare not presume to ask you, mademoiselle, what was your gracious reply to the condescension of our royal master.

_Fontanges._ Oh, yes! you may. I told him I was almost sure I should be ashamed of confessing such naughty things to a person of high rank, who writes like an angel.

_Bossuet._ The observation was inspired, mademoiselle, by your goodness and modesty.

_Fontanges._ You are so agreeable a man, monseigneur, I will confess to you, directly, if you like.

_Bossuet._ Have you brought yourself to a proper frame of mind, young lady?

_Fontanges._ What is that?

_Bossuet._ Do you hate sin?

_Fontanges._ Very much.

_Bossuet._ Are you resolved to leave it off?

_Fontanges._ I have left it off entirely since the king began to love me. I have never said a spiteful word of anybody since.

_Bossuet._ In your opinion, mademoiselle, are there no other sins than malice?

_Fontanges._ I never stole anything; I never committed adultery; I never coveted my neighbour's wife; I never killed any person, though several have told me they should die for me.

_Bossuet._ Vain, idle talk! Did you listen to it?

_Fontanges._ Indeed I did, with both ears; it seemed so funny.

_Bossuet._ You have something to answer for, then.

_Fontanges._ No, indeed, I have not, monseigneur. I have asked many times after them, and found they were all alive, which mortified me.

_Bossuet._ So, then! you would really have them die for you?

_Fontanges._ Oh, no, no! but I wanted to see whether they were in earnest, or told me fibs; for, if they told me fibs, I would never trust them again.

_Bossuet._ Do you hate the world, mademoiselle?

_Fontanges._ A good deal of it: all Picardy, for example, and all Sologne; nothing is uglier--and, oh my life! what frightful men and women!

_Bossuet._ I would say, in plain language, do you hate the flesh and the devil?

_Fontanges._ Who does not hate the devil? If you will hold my hand the while, I will tell him so. I hate you, beast! There now. As for flesh, I never could bear a fat man. Such people can neither dance nor hunt, nor do anything that I know of.

_Bossuet._ Mademoiselle Marie-Angelique de Scoraille de Rousille, d.u.c.h.ess de Fontanges! do you hate t.i.tles and dignities and yourself?

_Fontanges._ Myself! does any one hate me? Why should I be the first?

Hatred is the worst thing in the world: it makes one so very ugly.

_Bossuet._ To love G.o.d, we must hate ourselves. We must detest our bodies, if we would save our souls.

_Fontanges._ That is hard: how can I do it? I see nothing so detestable in mine. Do you? To love is easier. I love G.o.d whenever I think of Him, He has been so very good to me; but I cannot hate myself, if I would. As G.o.d hath not hated me, why should I? Beside, it was He who made the king to love me; for I heard you say in a sermon that the hearts of kings are in His rule and governance. As for t.i.tles and dignities, I do not care much about them while his Majesty loves me, and calls me his Angelique. They make people more civil about us; and therefore it must be a simpleton who hates or disregards them, and a hypocrite who pretends it. I am glad to be a d.u.c.h.ess. Manon and Lisette have never tied my garter so as to hurt me since, nor has the mischievous old La Grange said anything cross or bold: on the contrary, she told me what a fine colour and what a plumpness it gave me. Would not you rather be a d.u.c.h.ess than a waiting-maid or a nun, if the king gave you your choice?

_Bossuet._ Pardon me, mademoiselle, I am confounded at the levity of your question.

_Fontanges._ I am in earnest, as you see.

_Bossuet._ Flattery will come before you in other and more dangerous forms: you will be commended for excellences which do not belong to you; and this you will find as injurious to your repose as to your virtue. An ingenuous mind feels in unmerited praise the bitterest reproof. If you reject it, you are unhappy; if you accept it, you are undone. The compliments of a king are of themselves sufficient to pervert your intellect.

_Fontanges._ There you are mistaken twice over. It is not my person that pleases him so greatly: it is my spirit, my wit, my talents, my genius, and that very thing which you have mentioned--what was it? my intellect. He never complimented me the least upon my beauty. Others have said that I am the most beautiful young creature under heaven; a blossom of Paradise, a nymph, an angel; worth (let me whisper it in your ear--do I lean too hard?) a thousand Montespans. But his Majesty never said more on the occasion than that I was _imparagonable!_ (what is that?) and that he adored me; holding my hand and sitting quite still, when he might have romped with me and kissed me.

_Bossuet._ I would aspire to the glory of converting you.

_Fontanges._ You may do anything with me but convert me: you must not do that; I am a Catholic born. M. de Turenne and Mademoiselle de Duras were heretics: you did right there. The king told the chancellor that he prepared them, that the business was arranged for you, and that you had nothing to do but get ready the arguments and responses, which you did gallantly--did not you? And yet Mademoiselle de Duras was very awkward for a long while afterwards in crossing herself, and was once remarked to beat her breast in the litany with the points of two fingers at a time, when every one is taught to use only the second, whether it has a ring upon it or not. I am sorry she did so; for people might think her insincere in her conversion, and pretend that she kept a finger for each religion.

_Bossuet._ It would be as uncharitable to doubt the conviction of Mademoiselle de Duras as that of M. le Marechal.

_Fontanges._ I have heard some fine verses, I can a.s.sure you, monseigneur, in which you are called the conqueror of Turenne. I should like to have been his conqueror myself, he was so great a man.

I understand that you have lately done a much more difficult thing.

_Bossuet._ To what do you refer, mademoiselle?

_Fontanges._ That you have overcome quietism. Now, in the name of wonder, how could you manage that?

_Bossuet._ By the grace of G.o.d.

_Fontanges._ Yes, indeed; but never until now did G.o.d give any preacher so much of His grace as to subdue this pest.

_Bossuet._ It has appeared among us but lately.

_Fontanges._ Oh, dear me! I have always been subject to it dreadfully, from a child.

_Bossuet._ Really! I never heard so.

_Fontanges._ I checked myself as well as I could, although they constantly told me I looked well in it.

_Bossuet._ In what, mademoiselle?

_Fontanges._ In quietism; that is, when I fell asleep at sermon time.