Manners and Rules of Good Society Part 28

Many hostesses give their friends _carte blanche_ invitations to luncheon; but ladies as a rule seldom avail themselves of this _facon de parler_, as they consider it, and prefer to await a more direct form of invitation. Gentlemen, on the contrary, are expected to avail themselves of this proffered hospitality without ceremony, as the presence of a gentleman visitor at luncheon is considered an acquisition, the reason, perhaps, being that ladies are usually in the majority at luncheon, and also that the unexpected arrival of one or two ladies would call for a greater amount of attention on the part of a hostess seated at luncheon than would the unexpected arrival of gentlemen, ladies requiring especial attention to be shown to them in the matter of a place at table, etc., while gentlemen are ready to offer attention instead of requiring it, and to take any place at table, whether convenient or otherwise.

As a rule, the number of ladies present at luncheon greatly exceeds the number of gentlemen present, unless at a luncheon-party, when a hostess usually endeavours to equalise the numbers as far as possible; but it is not imperative for her to do this, and it is immaterial whether there are as many gentlemen as ladies present at luncheon or not.

Luncheon is a very useful inst.i.tution to a mistress of a house, as it enables her to show a considerable amount of civility to her friends and acquaintances.

She can invite to luncheon those it might not, for various reasons, be convenient to invite to dinner; as for instance, young ladies, single ladies, elderly ladies, ladies coming to town, or into the neighbourhood for a few days only, and so on.

The usual rule in houses where there are children old enough to do so, is for the children to dine at luncheon with their governess, whether there are guests present or not.

=In Town the Usual Hour for Luncheon= is 1.30 to 2 o'clock; in the country it is generally half an hour earlier. The guests are expected to arrive within ten minutes of the hour named in the invitation, as although punctuality is not imperative, it is very desirable.

A guest, on his or her arrival at a house, should not, if previously invited, inquire if the mistress of the house is at home, but should say, on the servant opening the door, "Mrs. A. expects me to luncheon."

When the guests are self-invited, they should inquire if the mistress of the house is at home.

Guests are conducted to the drawing-room before luncheon. The servant precedes them, as at morning calls.

When guests arrive after the hour named for luncheon, they should be at once ushered into the dining-room, and their names announced.

When the guests are unacquainted with each other, the hostess should make a sort of general introduction or introductions; that is to say, she should introduce one gentleman to two or three ladies, thus, "Mr.

A., Mrs. B., Mrs. C., and Miss D.," making but one introduction in place of three separate introductions, this being the less formal mode of making unimportant introductions.

It is not always possible for a host to be present at luncheon, owing to occupation and engagements, but courtesy to his wife's guests demands his presence when practicable. He should either join them in the drawing-room or in the dining-room, according to his convenience.

Guests are not sent in to luncheon as they are to dinner.

Ladies should not remove their hats at luncheon. They should remove their fur coats and wraps. These should either be left in the hall on arrival or taken off in the drawing-room or dining-room. Short gloves should be removed; elbow gloves may be retained.

Gentlemen should not take their hats with them into the drawing-room, but should leave them in the hall.

Ten minutes is the usual time allowed between the arrival of the guests and serving luncheon, which is usually served at the hour named, the received rule being not to wait for guests.

=Going in to Luncheon.=--When the luncheon gong sounds the hostess should say to the lady of highest rank present, "Shall we go in to luncheon?" or some such phrase. (See "The Art of Conversing.") The visitor should then move towards the door. If the host is present, he should walk beside her; if not, the hostess should do so. The other ladies should follow as far as possible according to precedency, the gentlemen going last. Thus the hostess either follows with the ladies or leads the way.

Guests should not go in to luncheon arm-in-arm as at a dinner-party, but singly, each lady by herself, or, when s.p.a.ce permits, side by side.

Gentlemen likewise, but on arriving in the dining-room, each gentleman should place himself by the side of a lady, or between two ladies, at table.

The hostess should sit at the top of the table and the host at the bottom, as at dinner, but it is immaterial where the guests sit, although as a rule the lady of highest rank sits by the host, and the gentleman of highest rank by the hostess.

A late arrival should, on being ushered into the dining-room, make his or her way to the top of the table to shake hands with the hostess, making some polite excuse for being late.

A hostess should rise from her seat to welcome a lady, but she should not do so to welcome a gentleman.

Luncheon is either served _a la Russe_ or not, according to inclination, both ways being in equally good taste, although, as a rule, the joint is served from the _buffet_ or side-table, while the _entrees_, game, or poultry are placed on the table.

For further information respecting the arrangements for luncheon, see the work ent.i.tled "Waiting at Table."

Formerly it was the custom in some houses for the servants to leave the dining-room as soon as they had helped the various guests to the joint or joints, and handed round the vegetables and the wine, in which case the host and hostess helped the guests to the _entrees_ and sweets, or the gentlemen present did so; but now it is invariably the rule for the servants to remain in the room during the whole of luncheon, and to hand the dishes and wine, etc., to the guests as at dinner-parties.

Luncheon usually lasts about half an hour, during which time the hostess should endeavour to render conversation general.

As at dinner, it is the duty of a hostess to give the signal for leaving the room, which she does by attracting the attention of the lady of highest rank present by means of a smile and a bow, rising at the same time from her seat.

The host, or the gentleman nearest the door, should open it for the ladies to pa.s.s out.

The ladies should leave the dining-room as far as possible in the order in which they have entered it, the hostess following last.

=When the host is not present=, the gentlemen should follow the ladies to the drawing-room; but when the host is present, the gentlemen should remain in the dining-room with the host a short time before joining the ladies in the drawing-room.

It is optional on the part of the host whether he returns or not with the gentlemen to the drawing-room, although, if not particularly engaged, it is more courteous to do so.

Coffee is sometimes served after luncheon in the drawing-room. It is handed on a salver immediately after luncheon. The most usual way now, however, is to have coffee brought into the dining-room at the conclusion of luncheon, and handed to the guests on a salver.

The guests are not expected to remain longer than twenty minutes after the adjournment to the drawing-room has been made.

Ladies should put on their gloves on their return to the drawing-room after luncheon.

Ladies having motor-cars should previously desire their chauffeurs to return for them from three to a quarter-past three o'clock, and the servant should inform each guest of the arrival of her motor-car.

When a lady requires a cab, she should ask the hostess's permission to have one called for her.

The subject of leave-taking is fully described in Chapter IV.

CHAPTER XXVII

BREAKFASTS

=Breakfast Parties= have in certain circles become a feature, and invitations to breakfast are issued both by card and by note.

In official circles breakfast parties are frequently given, the morning hours up to one o'clock being the only disengaged portion of the day, and thus the opportunity is taken for offering and receiving hospitality, and of enjoying the society of friends and acquaintances.

The breakfast hour varies from ten to eleven, according to circ.u.mstances, and the meal somewhat resembles a luncheon, fish, _entrees_, game, and cold viands being given, with the addition of tea, coffee, and liqueurs.

Punctuality on these occasions is almost imperative, as breakfast cannot be prolonged beyond a given limit, and therefore it is not considered necessary to wait the coming of a late guest.

The guests go in to breakfast as to luncheon. When a party consists of both ladies and gentlemen, the hostess should lead the way with the lady of highest rank, followed by the other ladies, the gentlemen following with the host.

When a party consists of gentlemen only, the host should lead the way with the gentleman of highest rank, and should indicate to the princ.i.p.al of the gentlemen present the places he wishes them to occupy at table; the remainder of the company should seat themselves according to inclination.

The table should be laid as for luncheon, and decorated with flowers and fruit. Tea and coffee should be served from a side table by the servants in attendance.

All dishes should be handed as at luncheon.