Prisoners of Conscience Part 17

"As you think, minister."

"Tell them just what you have told me. I believe every word you have said, and I will stand by you--I and all good men and women, I am sure."

"Thank you, minister."

But he could scarcely utter the words. He had often thought of this ordeal; now that it was really to face, his heart utterly failed him. He went straight to Nanna, and she forgot her own sorrow in his, and so comforted and strengthened him that he went away feeling that all things would be possible if she was always as kind and sympathetic.

It was then Friday, and Wednesday came inexorably and swiftly. David tried in every way to prepare himself, but no strength came from his efforts. Prayer, nor meditation, nor long memories of the past, nor hopes for the future, had any potency. He was stupefied by the thing demanded of him, and the simple, vivid cry which always brings help had not yet been forced from his lips. But at the last moment it came. Then the coldness and dumbness and wretched inertness that had bound him, body and soul, were gone. When he saw Matilda Sabiston enter the kirk, her eyes gleaming and her face eager with evil expectations, he felt the wondrous words of David[3]

burning in his heart and on his lips, and he was no longer afraid.

Psalm after psalm went singing through his soul, and he said joyfully to himself, "Sometimes G.o.d is long in coming, but he is _never too late_."

The minister did not ascend the pulpit. He stood at the table, and after a prayer and a hymn he said:

"We have come together this afternoon to hear what David Borson has to say in regard to the charge which Matilda Sabiston has made for twenty-six years against his father Liot Borson."

"That question was decided long ago," said an old man, rising slowly.

"I heard Minister Ridlon give verdict concerning it at the funeral of Liot's wife."

"It was _not_ decided," cried Matilda, standing up, and turning her face to the congregation. "Liot Borson found it easy to lie at his wife's coffin-side, but when it came to his own death-hour he did not dare to die without telling the truth. Ask his son David."

"David Borson," said the minister, "at your father's death-hour did he indeed confess to the slaying of Bele Trenby?"

Then David stood up. All fear had gone, he knew not where. He looked even taller than his wont. And the light of G.o.d's presence was so close to him that his large, fair face really had a kind of luminosity.

"Minister," he answered with a solemn confidence, "minister and friends, my father at his death-hour expressly said that _he did not slay Bele Trenby_. He said that he laid no finger on him, that he fell into his own snare. This is what happened: He met my father on the moss, and said, 'Good evening, Liot.' And my father said, 'It is dark,' and spoke no more. You know--all of you know--they were ill friends and rivals; so, then, silence was the best. And if Bele had been content to be silent and tread slowly in my father's steps he had reached his s.h.i.+p in safety. But he must talk and he must hurry; and the first was not wanted, and the second was dangerous. And after a little my father's shoe-strings came undone, and he stooped to tie them--who wouldn't, where a false step or a fall might be death? And Bele went on, and called back to him, 'Is this the crossing?' And father had not finished fastening his shoes, and did not answer. So then Bele called again, and it is likely father would not be hurried by him, and he did not answer that time, either. And Bele said he was in the devil's temper, and went on at his own risk. And the next moment there was a cry, and my father lifted his head hastily, and the man had walked into the moss, and then who _could_ help him? But well I know, if help had been possible, my father would have given his own life to save life, even though the man was ten times his enemy. Over and over I have seen Liot Borson bring from the sea men who hated him, and whom no one else would venture life for. Never mortal man walked closer with G.o.d than Liot Borson. I, who have lived alone with him for twenty years, I know this; and I will dare to say that in the matter of Bele Trenby he did no worse, and perhaps a great deal better, than any other man would have done. Why was Bele on the moss?

He was a sailor and a stranger. A man must have life-knowledge of the moss to walk it in the night-time. When my father was willing to guide him across it, was it too much that he should be silent, and that he should let his guide do a thing so necessary as to secure tightly his shoes on the soft, unstable ground? Was his guide to let go this safe precaution because Bele was in a hurry to reach his s.h.i.+p? Was Liot Borson to blame if the man's foolhardiness and insolent presumption led him into danger and death? As for me, I say this: I wish to be a man after my father's heart. For he was a righteous man in all his ways, and kind-hearted to every creature in trouble; and he was a life-saver, and not a murderer. And this I, his loving son, will maintain to my last breath. And if, after these words, any man says, 'Liot Borson was a murderer,' I will call him a cowardly liar and slanderer at Lerwick Market Cross, and follow the words to the end they deserve. And G.o.d knows I speak the truth, and the whole truth."

Then David sat down, and there was an audible stir and movement of sympathy and approbation. And the minister said: "I believe every word you have spoken, David. If any present has a word to say, now is the time to speak."

Then Elder Hay rose and said: "Of what use is talk? Liot Borson is dead and judged. How shall we, sinful men ourselves, dare to meddle with the verdict of the Lord G.o.d Almighty? If we in our ignorance or spite reverse it, what a presumption it will be! And if we confirm it, is G.o.d's decree made stronger by our 'yea, yeas'? What at all does Mistress Sabiston want?"

"I want Liot Borson's name taken off the roll," she answered vehemently. "It has no right in the kirk's books. Cross it out!

Blot it out! It is a shame to the white pages."

"Is there here any man or woman who will do Mistress Sabiston's will, and cross out Liot Borson's name for her?" asked the minister.

There was a deep, emphatic "No!" And the minister continued: "I would myself rather cut off my right hand than cross out the name of one who has pa.s.sed far beyond our jurisdiction. Suppose--and we have a right to suppose--that the name of Liot Borson is written in the s.h.i.+ning letters of the book of life, and we have crossed it off our kirk book! What then? I think this question is settled. I never want to hear it named again. I will enter into no conversations about it. It has been taken out of our hands by G.o.d himself. We will not dare to discuss in any way what he has already decided. We will now sing together the Forty-third Psalm."

And, amid the rustle of the opening leaves, the minister himself started the psalmody. There was a little air of hurry in his movements, as if he hasted to drown all contention in singing; but he had reached his usual grave composure before the end of the verses, and the benediction fell like the final satisfying chords of the melody.

Matilda was dumfounded by such a cutting short of the case, but even she dared not interrupt functions so holy as praise and prayer. In the kirk she was compelled to restrain her indignation, but when she found that the resolution of Minister Campbell not to discuss the matter or enter into any conversation about it was universally adopted by the townspeople, her anger found words such as are not to be met with in books; and she did not spare them.

David was singularly happy and satisfied. He had been grandly supported both by G.o.d and man, and he was grateful for the p.r.o.nounced kindness of his friends, for their hand-shakings and greetings and loving words and wishes. But when both the enthusiasm and the pang of conflict were over, oh, how good it was to clasp Nanna's hand, and in this perfect but silent companions.h.i.+p to walk home with her! Then Nanna made a cup of tea, and they drank it together, and talked over what had been said and done, finally drifting, as they always did, to that invincible necessity that whatever is could not but so have been. And though their words were, as all human words about G.o.d must be, terribly inadequate, yet their longing, their love, and their fears were all understood. And He who is so vast and strange when

With intellect we gaze, Close to their hearts stole in, In a thousand tender ways.

----- [Footnote 3: 1 Ps. xxvii.]

IX

A SACRIFICE ACCEPTED

After this the winter came on rapidly and severely. The seas were dangerous, and the fis.h.i.+ng precarious and poor, and the fever still lingered, many cases being found as far north as Yell. Thus suffering and hard poverty and death filled the short days and made twice as long the stretched-out nights of the dark season. The old cloud gathered round David, and when the minister preached of "the will and purposes of G.o.d," it seemed to David that they were altogether penal. The unfathomable inner side of his life was all gloom and doubt; how, then, could the material side be cheerful and confident?

The new minister, however, had conceived a strong liking for the young man; they were nearly of the same age; and he saw that David was troubled about spiritual matters, and took every opportunity to discuss them with him. But he had too much of the schools, he was too untried, and had been, in the main, too happily situated to comprehend David's views. The very piety of the two men was different. David's was lively, personal, and tender; it sat in the center. The minister's was official, intellectually accepted, conscientiously practised. It was not strange, then, that any dissent David ventured to make was not conceived of as a soul-query, but rather as a challenge against impregnable truths. He was always ready to defend Calvinism, though David did not consciously attack it. To be sure, he said strange and daring things--things which came from his heart, and which often staggered his opponent; but all the more Minister Campbell put on his armor to defend his creed.

"It is a hard religion for men and for women," said David, as they talked a stormy afternoon away on Barbara's hearthstone; "and why G.o.d gave it, I can't tell; for, after all, minister, the blessedness of heaven is an eternity older than the d.a.m.nation of h.e.l.l."

"Men called it unto themselves, and it is not hard, David. It is a grand creed; it is a strong anchor for a weak soul; it won't let a man drift into the deep waters of infidelity or the miserable shoals of 'perhaps' and 'suppose.' Neither will it let him float on waves of feeling like Arminianism, and be content with 'ahs' and 'ohs,'

and shrink from 'therefores.' Calvinism makes strong men before the Lord, David, and strong men are not laid on rose-leaves and fed on pap and cream."

"That is true, minister; for it seems to me that whenever men are to be fishers, and fight the winds and waves, or to make a living out of bare moor or rocks, or to do any other of the hard work of life, they are born Calvinists."

"Just so, David. Arminians can weave a piece of broadcloth, and Episcopals can till the rich, juicy fields of England; but G.o.d's hard work--yes, David, and his hard fighting--has to be done by his Calvinists. They were the only fighting Protestants. But for Calvinists, Puritans, Huguenots, there would have been no Reformation. Philip and the Pope would have had their way, and we should all have been papists or atheists."

"I know not. You say so, minister, and it is doubtless true."

"It is true. You have been born to a n.o.ble creed; accept it with thankfulness and without demur. You are not called upon to understand it or to reason about it. It is faith that conquers."

And after such an oration the young minister would go away with a proud sense of duty well performed, burning with his own evangel, and liking David well for being the invoker of his enthusiasm. But David, after his departure, was always silent and depressed; his intellect may have been quickened, but he was not comforted.

The suns.h.i.+ne that had brightened his life during the past year was gone, for he had found out that all his happiness was bound up in Nanna, and Nanna was on the verge of despair. Day by day she grew thinner and whiter, more melancholy and more silent. She did only work enough to supply the barest needs of life, and for the most part sat hour after hour with dropped hands and closed eyes; or she was seized with a restlessness that drove her to motion, and then she walked the small bounds of her room until physical exhaustion threw her into deep sleep.

David watched her with a sad patience. He had felt severely the loss of Vala, and he did not presume to measure Nanna's sorrow by his own. He knew it was natural that for some weeks she should weep for a child so dear, whose little life had been so pitifully wronged, so bound to suffering, so cruelly cut short. But when this natural sorrow was not healed by time, when Nanna nursed her grief to despair and dwelt with it in the valley of the shadow of death, he thought it time to reason with her.

"You will kill yourself, Nanna," he said.

"Well, then, David, I hate life."

"Do you wish to die?"

"No; I am afraid to die. I know that I am sinning every day in weeping for my poor lost bairn, and yet I am that way made that I cannot help but weep for her. For it is my fault, David, all my fault. Why, then, did He pursue the child with His anger from the first hour of her sorrowful life to the last? And where is she now?

O David, where is she? If G.o.d would only let me go to her!"

"_Whist_, Nanna! You know not what you are saying. You might be asking yourself away from His presence."

"I would rather be with Vala. If that be sinful, let me thole the wages of my sin. Where is my dear bairn?"

"I heard Elder Kennoch say we may have a hope that G.o.d will eventually take pity on those babes who have done no actual sin."

"But _when_ will he take pity? And until he does, how can the wee souls endure his anger? O David, my heart will break! My heart will break!"

"Nanna, listen to this: when Elga Wick's child died, the minister said there was a benign interpretation of the doctrines which taught us that _none but elect infants died_. It would be unjust, Nanna, unless the child was elect, not to give it the offer of salvation."