A Rent In A Cloud Part 5

"Of course you might, in the fas.h.i.+on you do at present; but _that_ is not life--or at least it is only the life of a vegetable. Mere existence and growth are not enough for a man who has hopes to fulfil, and pa.s.sions to exercise, and desires to expand into accomplishments, not to speak of the influence that everyone likes to wield over his fellows.

But, come along, jump into the boat, and see these girls! I want you; for there is one of them I scarcely understand as yet, and as I am always taken up with her sick sister, I've had no time to learn more about her."

"Well," said Loyd, "not to offer opposition to the notion of the tie that binds us, I consent." And sending back to the cottage all the details of his pursuit, he accompanied Calvert to the lake.

"The invalid girl I shall leave to your attention, Loyd," said the other, as he pulled across the water. "I like her the best; but I am in no fear of rivalry in that quarter, and I want to see what sort of stuff the other is made of. So, you understand, you are to devote yourself especially to Florence, taking care, when opportunity serves, to say all imaginable fine things about me--my talents, my energy, my good spirits, and so forth. I'm serious, old fellow, for I will own to you I mean to marry one of them, though which, I have not yet decided on."

Loyd laughed heartily--far more heartily than in his quiet habit was his wont--and said, "Since when has this bright idea occurred to you?"

"I'll tell you," said the other gravely. "I have for years had a sort of hankering kind of half attachment to a cousin of mine. We used to quarrel, and make up, and quarrel again; but somehow, just as careless spendthrifts forget to destroy the old bill when they give a renewal, and at last find a swingeing sum hanging over them they had never dreamed of, Sophy and I never entirely cancelled our old scores, but kept them back to be demanded at some future time. And the end has been, a regular rupture between us, and she is going to be married at the end of this month, and, not to be outdone on the score of indifference, I should like to announce my own happiness, since that's the word for it, first."

"But have you means to marry?"

"Not a s.h.i.+lling."

"Nor prospects?"

"None."

"Then I don't understand----"

"Of course you don't understand. Nor could I make you understand how fellows like myself play the game of life. But let me try by an ill.u.s.tration to enlighten you. When there's no wind on a boat, and her sails flap lazily against the mast, she can have no guidance, for there is no steerage-way on her. She may drift with a current, or rot in a calm, or wait to be crushed by some heavier craft surging against her.

Any wind--a squall, a hurricane--would be better than that. Such is my case. Marriage without means is a hurricane; but I'd rather face a hurricane than be water-logged between two winds."

"But the girl you marry--"

"The girl I marry--or rather the girl who marries _me_--will soon learn that she's on board a privateer, and that on the wide ocean called life there's plenty of booty to be had, for a little dash and a little danger to grasp it."

"And is it to a condition like this you'd bring the girl you love, Calvert?"

"Not if I had five thousand a year. If I owned that, or even four, I'd be as decorous as yourself; and I'd send my sons to Rugby, and act as poor-law guardian, and give my twenty pounds to the county hospital, and be a model Englishman, to your heart's content. But I haven't five thousand a year, no, nor five hundred a year; and as for the poor-house and the hospital, I'm far more likely to claim the benefit than aid the funds. Don't you see, my wise-headed friend, that the whole is a question of money? Morality is just now one of the very dearest things going, and even the rich cannot always afford it. As for me, a poor sub in an Indian regiment, I no more affect it than I presume to keep a yacht, or stand for a county."

"But what right have you to reduce another to such straits as these? Why bring a young girl into such a conflict?"

"If ever you read Louis Blanc, my good fellow, you'd have seen that the right of all rights is that of 'a.s.sociated labour.' But come, let us not grow too deep in the theme, or we shall have very serious faces to meet out friends with, and yonder, where you see the drooping ash trees, is the villa. Brush yourself up, therefore, for the coming interview; think of your bits of Sh.e.l.ley and Tennyson, and who knows but you'll acquit yourself with honour to your introducer."

"Let my introducer not be too confident," said Loyd, smiling; "but here come the ladies."

As he spoke, two girls drew nigh the landing-place, one leaning on the arm of the other, and in her att.i.tude showing how dependent she was for support.

"My bashful friend, ladies!" said Calvert, presenting Loyd. And with this they landed.

CHAPTER VII. DISSENSION.

THE knowledge Calvert now possessed of the humble relations which had subsisted between Miss Grainger and his uncle's family, had rendered him more confident in his manner, and given him even a sort of air of protection towards them. Certain it is, each day made him less and less a favourite at the villa, while Loyd, on the other hand, grew in esteem and liking with everyone of them. A preference which, with whatever tact shrouded, showed itself in various shapes.

"I perceive," said Calvert one morning, as they sat at breakfast together, "my application for an extension of leave is rejected. I am ordered to hold myself in readiness to sail with drafts for some regiments in Upper India!" he paused for a few seconds, and then continued. "I'd like anyone to tell me what great difference there is in real condition between an Indian officer and a transported felon. In point of daily drudgery there is little, and as for climate the felon has the best of it."

"I think you take too dreary a view of your fortune. It is not the sort of career I would choose, nor would it suit me, but if my lot had fallen that way, I suspect I'd not have found it so unendurable."

"No. It would not suit you. There's no scope in a soldier's life for those little sly practices, those small artifices of tact and ingenuity, by which subtlety does its work in this world. In such a career, all this adroitness would be clean thrown away."

"I hope," said Loyd, with a faint smile, "that you do not imagine that these are the gifts to achieve success in any calling."

"I don't know--I am not sure, but I rather suspect they find their place at the Bar."

"Take my word for it, then, you are totally mistaken. It is an error just as unworthy of your good sense as it is of your good feeling!" And he spoke with warmth and energy.

"Hurrah! hurrah!" cried Calvert "For three months I have been exploring to find one spot in your whole nature that would respond fiercely to attack, and at last I have it."

"You put the matter somewhat offensively to me, or I'd not have replied in this fas.h.i.+on--but let us change the topic, it is an unpleasant one."

"I don't think so. When a man nurtures what his friend believes to be a delusion, and a dangerous delusion, what better theme can there be than its discussion?"

"I'll not discuss it," said Loyd, with determination.

"You'll not discuss it?"

"No!"

"What if I force you? What if I place the question on grounds so direct and so personal that you can't help it?"

"I don't understand you."

"You shall presently. For some time back I have been thinking of asking an explanation from you--an explanation of your conduct at the villa.

Before you had established an intimacy there, _I_ stood well with everyone. The old woman, with all her respect for my family and connexions, was profuse in her attentions. Of the girls, as I somewhat rashly confided to you, I had only to make my choice. I presented you to them, never antic.i.p.ating that I was doing anything very dangerous to them or to myself, but I find I was wrong. I don't want to descend to details, nor inquire how and by what arts you gained your influence; my case is simply with the fact that, since _you_ have been in favour, _I_ have been out of it My whole position with them is changed. I can only suggest now what I used to order, and I have the pleasure, besides, of seeing that even my suggestion must be submitted to you and await your approval."

"Have you finished?" said Loyd, calmly.

"No, far from it! I could make my charge extend over hours long. In fact, I have only to review our lives here for the last six or seven weeks, to establish all I have been saying, and show you that you owe me an explanation, and something more than an explanation."

"Have you done now?"

"If you mean, have I said all that I could say on this subject, no, far from it. You have not heard a fiftieth part of what I might say about it."

"Well, I have heard quite enough. My answer is this, you are totally mistaken; I never, directly or indirectly, prejudiced your position. I seldom spoke of you, never slightingly. I have thought, it is true, that you a.s.sumed towards these ladies a tone of superiority, which could not fail to be felt by them, and that the habit grew on you, to an extent you perhaps were not aware of; as, however, they neither complained of, nor resented it, and as, besides, you were far more a man of the world than myself, and consequently knew better what the usages of society permitted, I refrained from any remark, nor, but for your present charge, would I say one word now on the subject."

"So, then, you have been suffering in secret all this time over my domineering and insolent temper, pitying the damsels in distress, but not able to get up enough of Quixotism to avenge them?"

"Do you want to quarrel with me, Calvert?" said the other calmly.

"If I knew what issue it would take, perhaps I could answer you."

"I'll tell you, then, at least so far as I am concerned, I have never injured, never wronged you. I have therefore nothing to recall, nothing to redress, upon any part of my conduct. In what you conceive you are personally interested, I am ready to give a full explanation, and this done, all is done between us."

"I thought so, I suspected as much," said Calvert, contemptuously. "I was a fool to suppose you'd have taken the matter differently, and now nothing remains for me but to treat my aunt's nursery governess with greater deference, and be more respectful in the presence--the august presence--of a lawyer's clerk."