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"Do I, sir? I'm very pleased to hear it."
There was a faint sn.i.g.g.e.r in court.
"Where were you educated?" persisted the Rector.
"Am I bound to incriminate myself, sir?"
"Incriminate?" said the General suddenly interested. "Eh? you mean, after a good education. I see. No, of course you're not, my lad."
"Thank you, sir."
"And you plead guilty? And you'd like the case dealt with now?"
"If you please, sir."
The clerk rose swiftly in his place and began to whisper to the magistrates behind his hand. Frank understood perfectly what was happening; he understood that it was doubtful whether or no his case could be dealt with in this court. He exploded within himself a violent adjuration to the Supreme Authorities, and the next instant the General sat back.
"Nonsense! nonsense! It isn't highway robbery at all within the meaning of the term. We'll deal with it now--eh, gentlemen?"
There was a little more whispering, and finally the General settled himself and took up a quill pen.
"Well, we'll deal with it now, my lad, as you wish. I'm sorry to see a fellow like you in this position--particularly if you've had a good education, as you seem to have had. Cowardly thing, you know, to attack a child like that, isn't it? even if you were hungry. You ought to be more hardy than that, you know--a great fellow like you--than to mind a bit of hunger. Boys like you ought to enlist; that'd make a man of you in no time. But no.... I know you; you won't.... You'd sooner loaf about and pick up what you can--sooner than serve His Majesty. Well, well, there's no compulsion--not yet; but you should think over it. Come and see me, if you like, when you've done your time, and we'll see what can be done. That'd be better than loafing about and picking up tins of salmon, eh?"
"Well, I've no more to say. But you just think over it. And we'll give you fourteen days."
Then as Frank went out he saw the three magistrates lean back in conversation.
(III)
I find it very hard to explain, even to myself, the extraordinary depression that fell upon Frank during his fourteen days. He could hardly bear even to speak of it afterwards, and I find in his diary no more than a line or two, and those as bald as possible. Apparently it was no kind of satisfaction to him to know that the whole thing was entirely his own doing, or that it was the thought of Gertie that had made him, in the first instance, take the tin from the Major. Yet it was not that there was any sense of guilt, or even of mistake. One would have thought that from everybody's point of view, and particularly Gertie's, it would be an excellent thing for the Major to go to prison for a bit. It would certainly do him no harm, and it would be a real opportunity to separate the girl from his company. As for any wrong in his pleading guilty, he defended it (I must say, with some adroitness) by saying that it was universally acknowledged that the plea of "Not Guilty" is merely formal, and in no way commits one to its intrinsic truth (and he is right there, at least according to Moral Theology as well as common sense) and, therefore, that the alternative plea is also merely formal.
And yet he was depressed by his fourteen days to the verge of melancholia.
There are several contributory causes that may be alleged.
First, there is the extreme ignominy of all the circ.u.mstances, beginning with the paternal scolding in court, in the presence of grocers and persons who threw clogs, continuing with the dreary journey by rail, in handcuffs, and the little crowds that gathered to laugh or stare, and culminating with the details of the prison life. It is not pleasant for a cleanly man to be suspected of dirt, to be bathed and examined all over by a man suffering himself apparently from some species of eczema; it is not pleasant to be ordered about peremptorily by uniformed men, who, three months before, would have touched their hats to you, and to have to do things instantly and promptly for the single reason that one is told to do them.
Secondly, there was the abrupt change of life--of diet, air and exercise....
Thirdly, there was the consideration, the more terrible because the more completely unverifiable, as to what difference all this would make, not only to the regard of his friends for him, but to his own regard for himself. Innocence of a fault does not entirely do away with the distress and stigma of its punishment. He imagined himself telling Jenny; he tried to see her laughing, and somehow he could not. It was wholly uncharacteristic of all that he knew of her, and yet somehow, night after night, as the hours dragged by, he seemed to see her looking at him a little contemptuously.
"At any rate," he almost heard her say, "if you didn't do it, you made a friend of a man who did. And you were in prison."
Oh! there are countless excellent explanations of his really terrible depression; and yet somehow it does not seem to me at all in line with what I know of Frank, to think that they explain it in the least. I prefer to believe, with a certain priest who will appear by and by, that the thing was just one stage of a process that had to be accomplished, and that if it had not come about in this way, it must have come about in another. As for his religion, all emotional grasp of that fled, it seemed finally, at the touch of real ignominy. He retained the intellectual reasons for which he had become a Catholic, but the thing seemed as apart from him as his knowledge of law--such as it was--acquired at Cambridge, or his proficiency in lawn-tennis. Certainly it was no kind of consolation to him to reflect on the sufferings of Christian martyrs!
It was a Friday evening when he came out and went quickly round the corner of the jail, in order to get away from any possibility of being identified with it.
He had had a short interview with the Governor--a very conscientious and religious man, who made a point of delivering what he called "a few earnest words" to every prisoner before his release. But, naturally enough, they were extraordinarily off the point. It was not helpful to Frank to have it urged upon him to set about an honest livelihood--it was what he had tried to do every day since June--and not to go about robbing innocent children of things like tins of salmon--it was the very last thing he had ever dreamed of doing.
He had also had more than one interview with the chaplain of the Established Church, in consequence of his resolute refusal to acknowledge any religious body at all (he had determined to scotch this possible clue to his identification); and those interviews had not been more helpful than any other. It is not of much use to be entreated to turn over a new leaf when you see no kind of reason for doing so; and little books left tactfully in your cell, directed to the same point, are equally useless. Frank read them drearily through. He did not actually kick them from side to side of his cell when he had finished; that would have been offensive to the excellent intentions of the reverend gentleman....
Altogether I do not quite like to picture Frank as he was when he came out of jail, and hurried away. It is such a very startling contrast with the gayety with which he had begun his pilgrimage.
He had had plenty of time to think over his plans during the last fortnight, and he went, first, straight to the post-office. The Governor had given him half-a-crown to start life with, and he proposed to squander fourpence of it at once in two stamps, two sheets of paper and two envelopes.
His first letter was to be to Jack; the second to Major Trustcott, who had thoughtfully given him the address where he might be found about that date.
But there were to be one or two additional difficulties first.
He arrived at the post-office, went up the steps and through the swing doors. The place had been newly decorated, with a mahogany counter and light bra.s.s lattice rails, behind which two young ladies of an inexpressibly aristocratic demeanor and appearance were engaged in conversation: their names, as he learned from a few sentences he listened to before daring to interrupt so high a colloquy, were Miss Mills and Miss Jamieson.
After a decent and respectful pause Frank ventured on his request.
"Two stamps, two sheets of paper and two envelopes, please ... miss."
(He did manage that!)
Miss Mills continued her conversation:
"So I said to her that that would never do, that Harold would be sure to get hold of it, and that then--"
Frank shuffled his feet a little. Miss Mills cast him a high glance.
"--There'd be trouble, I said, Miss Jamieson."
"You did quite right, dear."
"Two stamps, two sheets of paper and two envelopes, please, miss." He clicked four pence together on the counter. Miss Mills rose slowly from her place, went a yard or two, and took down a large book. Frank watched her gratefully. Then she took a pen and began to make entries in it.
"Two stamps, two sheets of paper and two envelopes, please."
Frank's voice shook a little with anger. He had not learned his lesson yet.
Miss Mills finished her entry; looked at Frank with extreme disdain, and finally drew out a sheet of stamps.
"Pennies?" she inquired sharply.
"Please."
Two penny stamps were pushed across and two pennies taken up.
"And now two sheets of paper and two envelopes, please, miss," went on Frank, encouraged. He thought himself foolish to be angry. Miss Jamieson uttered a short laugh and glanced at Miss Mills. Miss Mills pursed her lips together and took up her pen once more.