The Merry Wives of Windsor Part 45

_Bar._ He call them to you sir. 5

_Host._ No _Bardolfe_, let them alone, He sauce them: They haue had my house a weeke at command, I haue turned away my other guesse, They shall haue my horses _Bardolfe_, They must come off, He sawce them.

_Exit omnes._ 10

_Enter Ford, Page, their wives, Shallow and Slender, Syr Hu._ [SC. XIV.]

_Ford._ Well wife, heere take my hand, vpon my soule I loue thee dearer then I do my life, and ioy I haue so true and constant wife, my iealousie shall neuer more offend thee.

_Mi. For._ Sir _I_ am glad, and that which I haue done, Was nothing else but mirth and modestie. 5

_Pa._ I misteris _{F}ord_, _Falstaffe_ hath all the griefe, And in this knauerie my wife was the chiefe.

_Mi. Pa._ No knauery husband, it was honest mirth.

_Hu._ Indeed it was good pastimes & merriments.

_Mis. For._ But sweete heart shall wee leaue olde _{F}alstaffe_ so? 10

_Mis. Pa._ O by no meanes, send to him againe.

_Pa._ I do not thinke heele come being so much deceiued.

_For._ Let me alone, Ile to him once again like _Brooke_, and know his mind whether heele come or not.

_Pa._ There must be some plot laide, or heele not come. 15

_Mis. Pa._ Let vs alone for that. Heare my deuice.

Oft haue you heard since _Horne_ the hunter dyed, That women to affright their litle children, Ses that he walkes in shape of a great stagge.

Now for that _{F}alstaffe_ hath bene so deceiued, 20 As that he dares not venture to the house, Weele send him word to meet vs in the field, Disguised like _Horne_, with huge horns on his head.

The houre shalbe iust betweene twelue and one, And at that time we will meet him both: 25 Then would I haue you present there at hand, With litle boyes disguised and dressed like Fayries, For to affright fat _{F}alstaffe_ in the woods.

And then to make a period to the Iest, Tell _Falstaffe_ all, I thinke this will do best. 30

_Pa._ Tis excellent, and my daughter _Anne_, Shall like a litle Fayrie be disguised.

_Mis. Pa._ And in that Maske Ile make the Doctor steale my daughter _An_, and ere my husband knowes it, to carrie her to Church, and marrie her. 35

_Mis. For._ But who will buy the silkes to tyre the boyes?

_Pa._ That will _I_ do, and in a robe of white Ile cloath my daughter, and aduertise _Slender_ To know her by that signe, and steale her thence, And vnknowne to my wife, shall marrie her. 40

_Hu._ So kad vdge me the deuises is excellent.

_I_ will also be there, and will be like a {I}ackanapes, And pinch him most cruelly for his lecheries.

_Mis. Pa._ Why then we are reuenged sufficiently.

First he was carried and throwne in the Thames, 45 Next beaten well, _I_ am sure youle witnes that.

_{M}i. {F}or._ Ile lay my life this makes him nothing fat.

_{P}a._ Well lets about this stratagem, I long To see deceit deceiued, and wrong haue wrong.

_For._ Well send to _{F}alstaffe_, and if he come thither, 50 Twill make vs smile and laugh one moneth togither.

_Exit omnes._

NOTES: SCENE XIV

10: and Slender] Slender and.

[Transcriber's Note: The number 10 refers to the last line of Scene XIII, carried over to the "Enter..." line in Scene XIV. In the original text, the two line 10's were printed on the same page.]

14: ins. he speakes aboue.

_Enter Host and Simple._ [SC. XV.]

_Host._ What would thou haue boore, what thick-skin?

Speake, breath, discus, short, quick, briefe, snap.

_Sim._ Sir, I am sent from my M. to sir _Iohn {F}alstaffe_.

_Host._ Sir _Iohn_, theres his Castle, his standing bed, his trundle bed, his chamber is painted about with the story of the prodigall, 5 fresh and new, goe knock, heele speak like an Antripophiginian to thee: Knock _I_ say.

_Sim._ Sir I should speak with an old woman that went vp into his chamber. 10

_Host._ An old woman, the knight may be robbed, Ile call bully knight, bully sir _Iohn_. Speake from thy Lungs military: it is thine host, thy Ephesian calls.

_Fal._ Now mine host,

_Host:_ Here is a Bohemian tarter bully, tarries the comming 15 downe of the fat woman: Let her descend bully, let her descend, my chambers are honorable, pah priuasie, fie.

_Fal._ Indeed mine host there was a fat woman with me, But she is gone.

_Enter sir Iohn._

_Sim._ Pray sir, was it not the wise woman of _Brainford?_ 20

_Fal._ Marry was it Musselsh.e.l.l, what would you?

_Sim._ Marry sir my maister _Slender_ sent me to her, To know whether one _Nim_ that hath his chaine, Cousoned him of it, or no.

_{F}al._ I talked with the woman about it. 25

_Sim._ And I pray you sir what ses she?

_Fal._ Marry she ses the very same man that Beguiled maister _{S}lender_ of his chaine, Cousoned him of it.