The Milkmaid of Montfermeil Part 51

"What does this mean? Lafleur! Jasmin! Who dares to make a disturbance in my house?" exclaimed Monsieur de la Thoma.s.siniere, calling his servants. "Send away all visitors; I am not at home to anyone; if a gold ingot should be brought to me, I wouldn't accept it now."

The servants seemed embarra.s.sed, as if they dared not reply. Meanwhile the noise continued, and they could distinguish a woman's voice crying:

"I will go in! I tell you I'm bound to go in!"

"Have that canaille turned out of doors, Lafleur," said Monsieur de la Thoma.s.siniere angrily.

At that moment the dining-room door was violently thrown open, and a woman of some sixty years, short and stout, with a good-humored face, dressed like an orange-woman, with a round cap on her head, bounced into the room.

"Hoity-toity!" she cried; "it'd be a pretty good one if I couldn't get into my own son's house! What a set of donkeys them fellows be! Excuse me, messieurs and mesdames. Where be you, Thomas? Why don't you come and gimme a kiss, my boy? Don't you know your old mother?"

The changes of scene at the Opera are less rapid than those that took place in that dining-room upon Mere Thomas's entrance. Monsieur de la Thoma.s.siniere was stupefied; it was as if he had been struck by a thunderbolt and was unable to move a muscle or utter a word. The resplendent Athalie turned pale, was evidently confused, and glanced at Mere Thomas with an expression indicating that she still doubted the truth of what she heard. On each guest's face could be read the amazement caused by this unexpected scene, together with a touch of irony and malicious satisfaction, which fell far short, however, of what Destival and his wife felt at that moment.

Mere Thomas, who took no notice of the demeanor of the guests, recognized her son among the persons seated at the table, and ran to him, saying:

"There he is! I know him! That's him--that's my Thomas! Oh! it's him fast enough--with his little mole under the left eye!--You ain't changed so much, my boy.--Well, why don't you kiss me? Can't you move hand or foot?"

As she spoke, the good woman seized her son's head and kissed him several times. La Thoma.s.siniere made no resistance; he acted like a man who did not know where he was, while Athalie cried:

"Mon Dieu! is it possible? Isn't this a trick she's playing on us?"

"You didn't look to see me, my boy, eh? Ah! I should say not! This is a surprise, you see; one of your good friends, he writ to me as how it'd do you good to see your mother, and told me I'd better try to get here this very day, 'cos it's your wife's birthday."

At this point the guests looked at one another, trying to divine who it was who had arranged this surprise for Monsieur de la Thoma.s.siniere; and among those who were not responsible there were some who regretted that it had not suggested itself to them. As for the master of the feast, he was still too completely crushed by the blow that had been dealt him, to attend to what his mother said; and Athalie seemed to be on the point of swooning.

"So at that," continued Mere Thomas, "I says to myself, says I: 'Off we go!' I had a bit of money put by, and that paid for my seat in the diligence, where we was packed together as tight as herrings, saving your presence, messieurs and mesdames; and here I be in Paris, where you've feathered your nest so well!"

The Marquis de Cligneval, who was seated opposite Monsieur de la Thoma.s.siniere, determined to put an end to the embarra.s.sment of his host, upon whose purse he drew too freely not to be ready to shut his eyes to the lowly condition of his parents. So he hastened to intervene, and observed pleasantly:

"It is really very amiable on your excellent mother's part to surprise you like this. She was in such haste that she came in rather a neglige costume. But what does it matter? you are among your friends. Pray let her sit beside me; I shall be delighted to make her acquaintance. She has a most venerable face--a Greek profile. I am very fond of country people; they have such delightful dispositions."

La Thoma.s.siniere looked at the marquis with an expression which signified: "You have saved my life!" while Mere Thomas exclaimed:

"What's that he says--I came in neglige. But you're wrong, my boy; I put on my Sunday best."

"Hus.h.!.+ hush, mother, for heaven's sake!" whispered La Thoma.s.siniere. "Be careful; you're speaking to a marquis."

"A what? What did you say, Thomas?--But I say, where's my darter-in-law?

Show her to me, my boy; wouldn't she like to give her man's mother a kiss?"

"Madame de la Thoma.s.siniere, pray embrace your mother-in-law," said Madame Destival, with a mocking glance at Athalie.

"I can't stand it any longer! I am dying!" murmured Athalie in an expiring voice; and she fell over upon Auguste, who was seated next her.

"My wife has fainted!" cried La Thoma.s.siniere, overjoyed by an incident which might divert the attention of the company; and he sprang to his feet and rushed toward his wife, who was already surrounded by several people.

"Oho! is that your wife, that bleating little minx?" exclaimed Mere Thomas. "She's ate too much, my boy; she's got the indigestion, sure enough. Just give her a drink of brandy--that'll settle her stomach."

Someone gave Athalie smelling salts; she was taken into the fresh air; but she was careful not to recover consciousness. Mere Thomas pushed away two pet.i.tes-maitresses who were aiding her daughter-in-law, saying:

"Look out, my little darlings, you're stifling the child. Bless me! if you want to bring her to right off, I know what'll do it; two or three slaps on the backsides--that'll bring a woman to in short order; it never fails."

The ladies exchanged glances and moved away from Madame Thomas, saying to one another:

"This is shocking! it is getting to be unbearable."

"She amuses me immensely, my dear."

"For my part, she makes me blush; whenever she opens her mouth I tremble for fear that some disgusting remark will come out."

"She has begun well."

"This is a hysterical attack," said La Thoma.s.siniere; "madame must be taken to her room. They always last two or three hours, at least."

"Well, well! that's very nice!" said Mere Thomas.

The hostess was taken to her room, and she vowed to herself that she would not leave it so long as Madame Thomas should be in the house.

However, for most of the guests the dinner was the most essential thing, and Madame de la Thoma.s.siniere had no sooner been taken from the dining-room than they all resumed their places at the table, with such remarks as: "It won't amount to anything; it isn't dangerous." All of which meant: "We have paid enough attention to the hostess, who thought it best to faint; now let's think of our stomachs, and not neglect any longer the delicious dishes that have been prepared for us."

La Thoma.s.siniere would gladly have followed his wife; but he realized that it would be discourteous to leave his guests, with whom he had already changed his tone. So he returned to his seat, cudgelling his brain to devise a method of imposing silence on his dear mother.

Destival, meanwhile, fearing that Madame Thomas might be spirited away, offered her his hand to escort her to her seat by the marquis. Mere Thomas accepted his hand with a: "Thank 'ee, my man," and planted herself on a chair beside Monsieur de Cligneval.

"Now, my spark, I don't need your hand no more," she said to her escort; "when it comes to forks and teeth, I can go it alone, friend."

"She is overflowing with wit!" cried the marquis; "really, her repartees are delicious!"

La Thoma.s.siniere, who was afraid to raise his eyes, tried to hurry the dinner. But his guests did not support him; they were very comfortable at table and did full honor to the feast. The marquis stuffed Mere Thomas; he kept her plate constantly filled, hoping that that would stop her chatter; but she was a shrewd old girl, who could do two things at once. While she was eating, she kept repeating:

"Dieu! how good this is! What a fine _fricot_! I ain't never ate anything as tasted like this! I say, Thomas, my boy, we don't make such good frica.s.sees to our little cabaret at the sign of the Learned a.s.s! Do you remember, boy?"

"Who wants some truffles? who hasn't any truffles?" cried Monsieur de la Thoma.s.siniere, trying to drown his mother's voice. But Madame Destival, who had heard every word, inquired:

"What do you say, madame? Did Monsieur de la Thoma.s.siniere ever keep a cabaret?"

"La Thoma.s.siniere!" echoed Mere Thomas, emptying her gla.s.s. "Who's that, my heart?"

"Your son, madame."

"What! don't you call yourself Thomas no more, my son? So that's what all them green monkeys st.i.tched with gold, in your outside room, meant when they said this wa'n't where you lived! What have you dropped your father's name for, Thomas? Didn't it sound good enough for you? Let me tell you he was an honest man, who sold wine for six sous a litre without putting any drugs in it, like your swindlers in Paris!--Excuse me, friends."

"Monsieur your son calls himself La Thoma.s.siniere now," said the marquis, "from the name of an estate that he has bought. That is the custom in Paris; he hasn't changed his name but he has lengthened it a little; it's pleasanter to the ear."

"Yes, to be sure," said La Thoma.s.siniere, trying to recover his self-a.s.surance. "When one has made a fortune as _consequential_ as mine, one is at liberty to forget. Besides, as monsieur le marquis says, it's done every day."

"Oh! that makes a difference," rejoined Mere Thomas, "if you've been a-buying estates. That's worse than the Marquis de Carabas. But for all that, my boy, you'd ought to sent for me to come to see you sooner; for I've been just a little bit homesick down to our place; it's a regular hole, and I couldn't have such a devil of a spree with the two hundred francs you send me every year."

"Mon Dieu! how outrageous!" cried a lady wearing a cap adorned by a bird-of-paradise, pus.h.i.+ng her chair away from the table; while the gentlemen glanced at one another, laughing, and Monsieur de la Thoma.s.siniere stretched his feet under the table trying to find those of his excellent mother, who sat opposite him, and to whom he vainly made signals to urge her to be quiet.