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"Will you have some syllabub, Ben?" enquired Sally primly, as the door closed.
"Sally, how will you stand it?"
"She wants to be kind--she really wants to be."
Crossing moodily to the table, I pushed aside the waffles, the m.u.f.fins, and the syllabub, with an angry gesture.
"It is what I came from, after all. It is my cla.s.s."
"Your cla.s.s?" she repeated, laughing and sobbing together with her arms on my shoulders. "There's n.o.body else in the whole world in your cla.s.s, Ben."
CHAPTER XXVIII
IN WHICH SALLY STOOPS
A week or two later the General stopped me as I was leaving his office.
"I don't like the look of you, Ben. What's the matter?"
"My head has been troubling me, General. It's been splitting for a week, and I can't see straight."
"You've thought too much, that's the mischief. Why not cut the whole thing and go West with me to-morrow in my car? I'll be gone for a month."
"It's out of the question. A man who is over head and ears in debt oughtn't to be spinning about the country in a private car."
"I don't see the logic of that as long as it's somebody else's car."
"You'd see it if you had two hundred thousand dollars of debt."
"Well, I've been worse off. I've had two hundred thousand devils of gout. Here, come along with me. Bring Sally, bring the youngster. I'll take the whole bunch of 'em."
When I declined, he still urged me, showing his annoyance plainly, as a man does in whom opposition even in trifles arouses a resentful, almost a violent, spirit of conquest. So, I knew, he had pursued every aim, great or small, of his life, with the look in his face of an intelligent bulldog, and the conviction somewhere in his brain that the only method of overcoming an obstacle was to hang on, if necessary, until the obstacle grew too weak to put forth further resistance. Once, and once only, to my knowledge, had this power to hang on, this bulldog grip, availed him but little, and that was when his violence had encountered a gentleness as soft as velvet, yet as inflexible as steel. In his whole life only poor little Miss Matoaca had withstood him; and as I met the angry, indomitable spirit in his eyes, there rose before me the figure of his old love, with her look of meek, unconquerable obstinacy and with the faint fragrance and colour about her that was like the fragrance and colour of faded rose-leaves.
"There's no use, General. I can't do it," I said at last; and parting from him at the corner, I signalled the car for Church Hill, while he drove slowly up-town in his buggy.
It was a breathless June afternoon. A spell of intense early heat had swept over the country, and the summer flowers were unfolding as if forced open in the air of a hothouse. At the door Sally met me with a telegram from Jessy announcing her marriage to Mr. Cottrel in New York; but the words and the fact seemed to me to have no nearer relation to my life than if they had described the romantic adventures of a girl, in a crimson blouse, who was pa.s.sing along the pavement.
"Well, she's got what she wanted." I remarked indifferently, "so she's to be congratulated, I suppose. My head is throbbing as if it would break open. I'll go in and lie down in the dusk, before supper."
"Do the flowers bother you? Shall I take them away?" she asked, following me into the bedroom, and closing the shutters.
"I don't notice them. This confounded headache is the only thing I can think of. It hasn't let up a single minute."
Bending over me, she laid her cheek to mine, and stroked the hair back from my forehead with her small, cool hand, which reminded me of the touch of roses. Then going softly out, she closed the door after her, while I turned on my side, and lay, half asleep, half awake, in the deepening twilight.
From the garden, through the open blinds of the green shutters, floated the strong, sweet scent of the jessamine blooming on the columns of the piazza; and I heard, now and then, as if from a great distance, the harsh, frightened cry of a swallow as it flew out from its nest under the roof. A sudden, sharp realisation of imperative duties left undone awoke in my mind; and I felt impelled, as if by some outward pressure, to rise and go back again down the long, hot hill into the city.
"There's something important I meant to do, and did not," I thought; "as soon as this pain stops, I suppose I shall remember it, and why it is so urgent. If I can only sleep for a few minutes, my brain will clear, and then I can think it out, and everything that is so confused now will be easy." In some way, I knew that this neglected duty concerned Sally and the child. I had been selfish with Sally in my misery. When I awoke with a clear head, I would go to her and say I was sorry.
The scent of the jessamine became suddenly so intense that I drew the coverlet over my face in the effort to shut it out. Then turning my eyes to the wall, I lay without thinking or feeling, while my consciousness slowly drifted outside the closed room and the penetrating fragrance of the garden beyond. Once it seemed to me that somebody came in a dream and bent over me, stroking my forehead. At first I thought it was Sally, until the roughness of the hand startled me, and opening my eyes, I saw that it was my mother, in her faded grey calico, with the perplexed and anxious look in her eyes, as if she, too, were trying to remember some duty which was very important, and which she had half forgotten. "Why, I thought you were dead!" I exclaimed aloud, and the sound of my own voice waked me.
It was broad daylight now; the shutters were open, and the breeze, blowing through the long window, brought the scent of jessamine distilled in the suns.h.i.+ne beyond. It seemed to me that I had slept through an eternity, and with my first waking thought, there revived the same pressure of responsibility, the same sense of duties, unfulfilled and imperative, with which I had turned to the wall and drawn the coverlet over my face. "I must get up," I said aloud; and then, as I lifted my hand, I saw that it was wasted and shrunken, and that the blue veins showed through the flesh as through delicate porcelain. Then, "I've been ill," I thought, and "Sally? Sally?" The effort of memory was too great for me, and without moving my body, I lay looking toward the long window, where Aunt Euphronasia sat, in the square of suns.h.i.+ne, crooning to little Benjamin, while she rocked slowly back and forth, beating time with her foot to the music.
"Oh, we'll ride in de golden cha'iot, by en bye, lil' chillun, We'll ride in de golden cha'iot, by en bye.
Oh, we'se all gwine home ter glory, by en bye, lil' chillun, We'se all gwine home ter glory by en bye.
Oh, we'll drink outer de healin' fountain, by en bye, lil' chillun, We'll drink outer de healin' fountain by en bye."
"Sally!" I called aloud, and my voice sounded thin and distant in my own ears.
There was the sound of quick steps, the door opened and shut, and Sally came in and leaned over me. She wore a blue gingham ap.r.o.n over her dress, her sleeves were rolled up, and her hand, when it touched my face, felt warm and soft as if it had been plunged into hot soapsuds.
Then my eyes fell on a jagged burn on her wrist.
"What is that?" I asked, pointing to it. "You've hurt yourself."
"Oh, Ben, my dearest, are you really awake?"
"What is that, Sally? You have hurt yourself."
"I burned my hand on the stove--it is nothing. Dearest, are you better?
Wait. Don't speak till you take your nourishment."
She went out, returning a moment later with a gla.s.s of milk and whiskey, which she held to my lips, sitting on the bedside, with her arm slipped under my pillow.
"How long have I been ill, Sally?"
"Several weeks. You became conscious and then had a relapse. Do you remember?"
"No, I remember nothing."
"Well, don't talk. Everything is all right--and I'm so happy to have you alive I could sing the Jubilee, as Aunt Euphronasia says."
"Several weeks and there was no money! Of course, you went to the General, Sally--but I forgot, the General is away. You went to somebody, though. Surely you got help?"
"Oh, I managed, Ben. There's nothing to worry about now that you are better. I feel that there'll never be anything to worry about again."
"But several weeks, Sally, and I lying like a log, and the General away!
What did you do?"
"I nursed you for one thing, and gave you medicine and chicken broth and milk and whiskey. Now, I shan't talk any more until the doctor comes.
Lie quiet and try to sleep."
But the jagged burn on her wrist still held my gaze, and catching her hand as she turned away, I pressed my lips to it with all my strength.
"Your hand feels so queer, Sally. It's as red as if it had been scalded."