My Ten Years' Imprisonment Part 14

"Captain as I am," he observed, "I have fallen,--to take my rest, into this wretched post of jailer; and G.o.d knows it is far more disagreeable for me to maintain it, than it was to risk my life in battle."

I was now sorry I had asked him so haughtily to give me drink. "My dear Schiller," I said, grasping his hand, "it is in vain you deny it, I know you are a good fellow; and as I have fallen into this calamity, I thank heaven which has given me you for a guardian!"

He listened to me, shook his head, and then rubbing his forehead, like a man in some perplexity or trouble.

"No, Sir, I am bad--rank bad. They made me take an oath, which I must, and will keep. I am bound to treat all the prisoners, without distinction, with equal severity; no indulgence, no permission to relent, to soften the sternest orders, in particular as regards prisoners of state."

"You are a n.o.ble fellow; I respect you for making your duty a point of conscience. You may err, humanly speaking, but your motives are pure in the eyes of G.o.d."

"Poor gentleman, have patience, and pity me. I shall be hard as steel in my duty, but my heart bleeds to be unable to relieve the unfortunate. This is all I really wished to say." We were both affected.

He then entreated that I would preserve my calmness, and not give way to pa.s.sion, as is too frequent with solitary prisoners, and calls for restraint, and even for severer punishment.

He afterwards resumed his gruff, affected tone as if to conceal the compa.s.sion he felt for me, observing that it was high time for him to go.

He came back, however, and inquired how long a time I had been afflicted with that horrible cough, reflecting sharply upon the physician for not coming to see me that very evening. "You are ill of a horse fever," he added, "I know it well; you will stand in need of a straw bed, but we cannot give you one till the doctor has ordered it."

He retired, locked the door, and I threw myself upon the hard boards, with considerable fever and pain in my chest, but less irritable, less at enmity with mankind, and less alienated from G.o.d.

CHAPTER LX.

In the evening came the superintendent, attended by Schiller, another captain, and two soldiers, to make the usual search. Three of these inquisitions were ordered each day, at morning, noon, and midnight. Every corner of the prison was examined, and each article of the most trivial kind. The inferior officers then left, and the superintendent remained a little time to converse with me.

The first time I saw this troop of jailers approach, a strange thought came into my head. Being unacquainted with their habits of search, and half delirious with fever, it struck me that they were come to take my life, and seizing my great chain I resolved to sell it dearly by knocking the first upon the head that offered to molest me.

"What mean you?" exclaimed the superintendent; "we are not going to hurt you. It is merely a formal visit to ascertain that all is in proper order in the prisons."

I hesitated, but when I saw Schiller advance and stretch forth his hand with a kind, paternal look, I dropped the chain and took his proffered hand. "Lord! how it burns," he said, turning towards the superintendent; "he ought at least to have a straw bed;" and he said this in so truly compa.s.sionate a tone as quite to win my heart. The superintendent then felt my pulse, and spoke some consolatory words: he was a man of gentlemanly manners, but dared not for his life express any opinion upon the subject.

"It is all a reign of terror here," said he, "even as regards myself. Should I not execute my orders to the rigour of the letter, you would no longer see me here." Schiller made a long face, and I could have wagered he said within himself, "But if I were at the head, like you, I would not carry my apprehensions so very far; for to give an opinion on a matter of such evident necessity, and so innocuous to government, would never be esteemed a mighty fault."

When left alone, I felt my heart, so long incapable of any deep sense of religion, stirred within me, and knelt down to pray. I besought a blessing upon the head of old Schiller, and appealing to G.o.d, asked that he would so move the hearts of those around me, as to permit me to become attached to them, and no longer suffer me to hate my fellow-beings, humbly accepting all that was to be inflicted upon me from His hand.

About midnight I heard people pa.s.sing along the gallery. Keys were sounding, and soon the door opened; it was the captain and his guards on search.

"Where is my old Schiller?" inquired I. He had stopped outside in the gallery.

"I am here--I am here!" was the answer. He came towards the table, and, feeling my pulse, hung over me as a father would over his child with anxious and inquiring look. "Now I remember," said he, "to- morrow is Thursday."

"And what of that?" I inquired.

"Why! it is just one of the days when the doctor does not attend, he comes only on a Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Plague on him."

"Give yourself no uneasiness about that!"

"No uneasiness, no uneasiness!" he muttered, "but I do; you are ill, I see; nothing is talked of in the whole town but the arrival of yourself and friends; the doctor must have heard of it; and why the devil could he not make the extraordinary exertion of coming once out of his time?"

"Who knows!" said I, "he may perhaps be here tomorrow,--Thursday though it will be?"

The old man said no more, he gave me a squeeze of the hand, enough to break every bone in my fingers, as a mark of his approbation of my courage and resignation. I was a little angry with him, however, much as a young lover, if the girl of his heart happen in dancing to press her foot upon his; he laughs and esteems himself highly favoured, instead of crying out with the pain.

CHAPTER LXI.

I awoke on Thursday morning, after a horrible night, weak, aching in all my bones, from the hard boards, and in a profuse perspiration.

The visit hour came, but the superintendent was absent; and he only followed at a more convenient time. I said to Schiller, "Just see how terribly I perspire; but it is now growing cold upon me; what a treat it would be to change my s.h.i.+rt."

"You cannot do it," he said, in a brutal tone. At the same time he winked, and moved his hand. The captain and guards withdrew, and Schiller made me another sign as he closed the door. He soon opened it again, and brought one of his own s.h.i.+rts, long enough to cover me from head to feet, even if doubled.

"It is perhaps a little too long, but I have no others here."

"I thank you, friend, but as I brought with me a whole trunk full of linen, I do hope I may be permitted the use of it. Have the kindness to ask the superintendent to let me have one of my s.h.i.+rts."

"You will not be permitted, Sir, to use any of your linen here.

Each week you will have a s.h.i.+rt given you from the house like the other prisoners."

"You see, good man, in what a condition I am. I shall never go out of here alive. I shall never be able to reward you."

"For shame, Sir! for shame!" said the old man. "Talk of reward to one who can do you no good! to one who dare hardly give a dry s.h.i.+rt to a sick fellow creature in a sweat!" He then helped me on with his long s.h.i.+rt, grumbling all the while, and slammed the door to with violence on going out, as if he had been in a great rage.

About two hours after, he brought me a piece of black bread.

"This," he said, "is your two days' fare!" he then began to walk about in a sulky mood.

"What is the matter?" I inquired; "are you vexed at me? You know I took the s.h.i.+rt."

"I am enraged at that doctor; though it be Thursday he might show his ugly face here."

"Patience!" said I; but though I said it, I knew not for the life of me how to get the least rest, without a pillow, upon those hard boards. Every bone in my body suffered. At eleven I was treated to the prison dinner--two little iron pots, one of soup, the other of herbs, mixed in such a way as to turn your stomach with the smell.

I tried to swallow a few spoonfuls, but did not succeed. Schiller encouraged me: "Never despair," said he; "try again; you will get used to it in time. If you don't, you will be like many others before you, unable to eat anything but bread, and die of mere inanition."

Friday morning came, and with it came Dr. Bayer at last. He found me very feverish, ordered me a straw bed, and insisted I should be removed from the caverns into one of the abodes above. It could not be done; there was no room. An appeal was made to the Governor of Moravia and Silesia, residing at Brunn, who commanded, on the urgency of the case, that the medical advice should be followed.

There was a little light in the room to which I was removed. I crawled towards the bars of the narrow window, and had the delight of seeing the valley that lay below,--part of the city of Brunn,--a suburb with gardens,--the churchyard,--the little lake of Certosa,-- and the woody hills which lay between us and the famous plains of Austerlitz. I was enchanted, and oh, what double pleasure, thought I, would be mine, were I enabled to share it with my poor friend Maroncelli!

CHAPTER LXII.

Meanwhile, our prison dresses were making for us, and five days afterwards mine was brought to me. It consisted of a pair of pantaloons made of rough cloth, of which the right side was grey, the left of a dark colour. The waistcoat was likewise of two colours equally divided, as well as the jacket, but with the same colours placed on the contrary sides. The stockings were of the coa.r.s.est wool; the s.h.i.+rt of linen tow full of sharp points--a true hair-cloth garment; and round the neck was a piece of the same kind.