The Broken Sister Part 24

Ally kept her voice low. "Kylie partied pretty hard, alcohol, some drugs, and s.e.x. It was kind of scary for a while there, but then she backed off it all. I mean, I don't know what this has to do with him, but..."

Tracy's voice cut through them. "Kylie, sweetheart, where is all this leading? I get it. I get you. You just thought you always kept it from me. What was I supposed to do? Point it out when you so desperately didn't want me to know? I knew. I learned years ago not to push you. It's a delicate balance I walk of trying to make sure you are really okay, and getting you to talk to me. I push too hard and I lose you. But whatever has you running here to willingly tell me this stuff, tells me something big has happened. What is it? What happened?"

Kylie shook her head. She kept her gaze pinned to the toes of her boots. When she started to talk, her voice was monotone, almost bored sounding. "Freshman year, one night I went to a party. Nothing new, I'd been to lots by then. I woke up one morning and I was in this room, at a frat house. I didn't recognize it. I didn't remember it at all. It was the oddest sensation. I remembered talking and laughing the night before and then I woke up in this bedroom. Only... only I was naked and I'd had s.e.x. But I didn't remember any of it. Nothing. It was a deep black void. And..." She shut her eyes. "I can't imagine what you'll think of me. I put myself in this place and this situation even... and..."

Silence was heavy. She could not look up. She was scared of the disgust and repulsion she'd find. Then a pair of shoes came into her line of vision. She recognized her mom's heels. Her hand came to rest on Kylie's shoulders. She finally had to look up to find her mother's gray eyes filling with tears as she dropped down to her knees before Kylie and clutched her hands in hers. "Are you telling me you were raped?" Tracy's voice was surprisingly clear and strong.

Kylie shrugged, shying away from the language she often used in her head to think about it... and then she'd convince herself no, it wasn't really that. But then all the denial let Tommy get away with it. Let Tristan find her and use her. "Yes. I'm telling you I was raped. I know I was drugged. It wasn't a blackout or too much to drink. It was completely different."

Ally shook her head, tears pouring down her face. "I didn't know. I never had a clue. Not like this. I mean, I knew you were unhappy that year. I just thought it was all that angst that is you. I never thought-"

"I didn't want you to think this, Ally. I hid it for a reason. I wasn't ready to tell you guys. Now I am."

Tracy suddenly swept her up in her arms. She was crying incoherently. Kylie was stuck trying to pat her back but her mom just clung to her harder. For once, Tracy wouldn't or couldn't get control of herself. "Mom, shh. I'm going to be okay. I've survived with it for two years. Mom, please. This doesn't help me."

Her mom finally tried to control her gasping sobs. "Then what will?"

"Telling you. Being honest."

"Who did this to you?"

"His name is Tommy Tamasy."

"The quarterback?" Donny popped out with shock. He then glanced around embarra.s.sed. "I'm sorry, I recognize his name."

"Yes, that's him."

"Why didn't you tell us?" The regret, frustration, and pain was almost physical in her mom as she nearly cried it out like a coyote's howl in the dark.

"I just didn't know how. For a long time, I believed it was my fault. For being there... for being how I was. I thought I put myself in that situation so it was partly my fault. I didn't want you to know what I was like."

"You thought because you liked to have s.e.x and go to parties we-I would ever think you deserved this? G.o.d, Kylie, don't you know? Don't you know after all these years, how much I love you? So much. I would never judge you for this. How? How did you deal with this all by yourself?"

"I think you have to accept I don't deal with stuff how others want me to. Not even you. I needed to be alone with it for a really long time and work my way around what you all think is obvious. You guys think I didn't cause it and that it's really rape. I didn't think that. Not until recently. This is how long it took me to get and believe it. You have to understand you knowing and telling me so wouldn't have made me believe it."

"No, you never have," Tracy said finally. She shut her eyes as if the pain was too much for her to bear.

"There's more."

"What more?" Tracy's eyes popped back open. They were washed in tears and more flowed down her cheeks. Donny gripped the armchair until his hands turned color. His face was pale and mouth drawn in a deep frown. She glanced around. She told them about Cadence, and the website and their friends.h.i.+p and Cadence being in the hospital. "I need to go back and talk to her. It's just, so much has happened. Her parents wouldn't let me near her. She was a victim too."

"And Tristan? Where is he? What happened with you two?" Ally asked.

"He's Tommy's brother. He just told me yesterday. When I was at the hospital. He told me and now I'm finally telling you."

Donny was on his feet. He was pacing, scowling, the fury whipping off him. "What was he trying to do to you?"

"I don't know. Trying to seduce me, take pictures of it. The weird thing is, I don't think he ever did any of it. He had every chance. It's been months."

"How did he keep it a secret?"

"I never snooped. I only went to his office once. He kept me separate from his personal and professional life and I let him. He told me his name was Tristan Aderly, which is his middle name, his mom's maiden name ironically. And I never pushed the limits."

Donny's head hung. "Yes, only you would respect someone's privacy so completely."

She smiled sadly. "It's how I am. Look, I know this is awful for you guys to hear and I know how hard this is... but I can't talk about it anymore tonight. I needed you to know. Now? I just need to be quiet for a while, okay?"

They all nodded and let her go. She quickly went to her old bedroom and curled up on her old bed and lay there, staring at the ceiling. It all swirled in her brain. The words, the actions, the lies and remorse and the people. Tommy. Ally. Cadence. Her. Tristan.

Tristan Tamasy. Tommy's big brother. He was coming after her to protect his little brother. What else had he done to protect Tommy? Gone after Cadence? She didn't know yet, what Cadence's full story entailed, but obviously there was some lies told to Kylie. But Cadence wasn't bad. Kylie was sure of that. Cadence had been hurt and was vulnerable, a victim, and the Tamasys were a rich powerful family. Tristan didn't make sense. None of what he did made sense. It made sense actually how he first came after her. The Tamasys were protecting their interests. They know how to do such things. They were power players who could come after stupid, clueless college students like her and Cadence.

That made sense.

What did not was the last four months Kylie and Tristan had spent together essentially living as boyfriend and girlfriend. There was no reason for it. One time up having s.e.x and she'd have been "neutralized." Why would he bother to keep seeing her? It honest to G.o.d made no sense to her and she could find no reason for it.

"Kylie?" She rolled over when she heard her name. Ally carefully opened the bedroom door and came over and crawled into the bed with her. She snuggled up to Kylie.

Kylie let her embrace her. "I know you don't understand how I could keep this to myself."

Ally sighed. "No, really, I can understand. I know you and I somehow let my way decide your ways. I'm sorry too, Kylie. My own sister was raped and felt like she couldn't come to me. It sickens me. I-I know him. I know Tommy. We had cla.s.ses together. I partnered with him last quarter on one of my psychology cla.s.ses. He was so nice and congenial. Sick f.u.c.k. Probably got off on knowing what he'd done to my own sister."

"He probably did, yes. He thought he had me kowtowed. I think that's his thing. Young freshman girls in awe of him. The girls popular guys look past. The girls on the fringe-weird like I was, or shy and wholesome and so painfully new like Cadence was. He gets away with it because we're too intimidated to say anything."

"I wish I'd been a sister you could come to. With whatever. Not just with what you thought I wanted to hear and see."

"I was ashamed. All the s.e.x and partying you witnessed, and then this? I was afraid you'd say, 'Well duh! Kylie, what did you think was going to happen?'"

Ally took her jaw in her hand and anch.o.r.ed her head so Kylie was forced to make eye contact with her. Kylie's eyes widened in obvious shock. "You get I would never, ever have reacted like that. This s.h.i.+t I was pouting over with Dad was my deal, not yours. You know Mom and Donny are devastated. I heard them both crying. Just know how loved you are. Okay? Your pain, our pain. Don't hide again. What if I was raped? Would you ever blame me?"

"Never."

"Well, then, understand we feel the same way. It can happen to anyone, anywhere. No is really no, and all that."

"You know what's helped most of all?"

"What?"

"Talking to Cadence. She just gets it. No long-winded explanations. No consoling her. She just understands. There's this group home on my list of approved interns.h.i.+ps, it's for battered women, but it has a rape support group. They meet once a week. I was thinking, I might go. See if maybe I could help others. I think... I think I'm good at that, believe it or not. Because I'm not overly emotional, I can talk about things, and let others talk, you know? Tristan noticed that about me, of all things. He thought I was compa.s.sionate or something. I don't know, maybe, social work is a good choice for me, not because of what happened to me but-"

"Because of who you are."

"Yeah."

Ally hugged her. "I think I should have shut up more growing up. I always had to have my say. Be the perfect one. I tried to guilt you into being like me..."

"Oh my G.o.d, Ally we were kids. You can't be blamed for Dad and how we react to things. And... neither can I. I think I finally get that."

"f.u.c.king a.s.shole."

"Who?"

"Tommy, Dad, Tristan."

"But Donny's not. Uncle Tony's not, Grandpa isn't. There are lots of good guys out there too."

Ally sighed. "I guess. I just don't feel so convinced right now."

Silence lingered. "Ally?"

"Yeah, sis?"

"I love him."

Ally let out a deep groan. "Tristan?"

"Yes. I never told him. He told me a while ago he thought he was falling in love with me. And I never told him. Something held me back. Like it always does. But this time... I don't know, I didn't see anything, no sign of what and who he ended up being."

"He either fell in love with you or is a sociopath who fakes emotions like no one I ever saw. I thought he was head over heels and back again in love with you. Even when he called me to come check on you, he seemed desperate I come help you, for your sake not his. Mom and Donny thought so too. That's why Donny disliked him so much. He thought you were too young to be dating a guy who was as old and established as Tristan. He thought you needed to have more fun and date before settling down."

"Little did he know..."

"Shush. No, I mean you had every reason to be fooled. I don't know, to be honest, I think he maybe started to come after you and really did fall for you."

"Why? I can't be his type."

Her laugh was dry. "I think his feelings for you are way past worrying over if you're his type."

"I can't trust him though."

"When Tristan called me, he told me to make you tell me what happened to you. To find out what he'd done to you... and what his brother had done to you. Those were his exact words. I had an idea it was bad, just not this bad. But I think he was just coming to the realization of what his brother is." Silence descended as they sat there almost sh.e.l.l-shocked.

"Now what?" Ally finally probed.

"Now? I think I'm going to have to go after Tommy. For Cadence. For whoever else he does it to. For Tristan even, who doesn't think he's capable of it. But mostly, for me. I'm going to go after him for me."

"I-Holy s.h.i.+t, I didn't know you had it in you."

"I didn't either. The weird, ironic part? Tristan kind of convinced me of that."

"How will you try to get him punished? What about the police?"

"There's no real evidence. But there is the disciplinary board at school. I bring charges to them. That's what Cadence and I were planning on. Then she hurt herself and Tristan told me the truth... but also that Cadence had signed some kind of nondisclosure agreement and taken money. She never told me that part. I don't know what to make of it."

Ally squeezed her hand. "You know we'll be there. For you. With you. Till the end. No matter what."

"I finally do know it."

"Is there anything Tristan has that could prove you two were having s.e.x?"

"I didn't let him take anything, video or still pics. But I can't say for sure he didn't."

Ally shuddered. "So creepy."

Creepy just didn't describe the Tristan she knew. But then, what did she know? Look at where her judgement always got her.

"I didn't really get involved with his life. I never met his family. I just knew he wasn't close to them and didn't really like them. I only went to his office once... which, looking back, makes me laugh now. He was all stressed out about me being there, and now I know why."

"They would have video of you there. I'm sure they have surveillance," Ally said instantly.

"You're probably right."

"You said he claimed he was sorry and all that c.r.a.p. Do you think he'd erase it for you?"

"I have no idea where he stands with me. Maybe he took pictures of me sleeping or something and intends to 'neutralize' me with them as his grandfather sent him to do. G.o.d, what kind of world do they live in to be like that?"

"One which raises a guy so ent.i.tled he thinks he has the right to drug and rape innocent girls."

Kylie dropped her face down and finally, after all these years, after all the things she'd thought and suffered, her family's clear-cut insistence broke through all her reserves and she finally heard them and even more profoundly, she believed them. She hadn't raped herself. She hadn't drugged herself. Worded that way, it almost cruelly made Kylie laugh. It was ridiculous to think that. Or that Cadence, with only one other s.e.xual partner, didn't deserve to be drugged and raped, but Kylie, having dozens of s.e.xual partners, did deserve it? Ludicrous. And she finally, finally believed that.

"There's no proof. He'll never get punished. But I have to try. I was going to try to get Tommy punished with Cadence's help but now she has hurt herself. All because of what they did to her. I finally realize however, what they did to me. And the names I let myself call myself because of it."

Names that no one had the right to call her.

Kylie felt her back stiffen at the realization. The only person she'd ever shared those names with was Tristan, and from the very start he'd told her that. Why? If he were after her, all he had to do was stress that she had behaved like a s.l.u.t. She should be ashamed. She should feel guilty. If he had said any of those things, she would have silently accepted them as the truth. Gospel. She was a s.l.u.t and deserved whatever happened to her.

But he hadn't said anything like that. He'd been insistent that she was the opposite. She was to be applauded because she was smart enough to enjoy s.e.x and do things that pleased her. Like he did.

How could one brother encourage that and the other rape her? It was impossible for her to contemplate or understand.

"The only person who has never made me feel like a s.l.u.t for liking s.e.x, for exactly as much I do, and how I did it, was Tristan."

"Was it an act to gain your trust?" Ally wondered.

"I don't think so. I mean, all he had to do was be the opposite and he'd have gotten whatever he was first after from me. But he didn't. He-I'm not honestly sure now, what he was about."

"Maybe you need to see."

Kylie laid back, exhausted and unsure. "Tristan... He made me feel, pretty d.a.m.n convincingly too, that he thought I was beautiful. Inside and out. I don't know why. He saw something in me, something that made him happy. And it wasn't to change me. Or make me eat different or act different. He was oddly accepting of me. He didn't judge me, so I think I finally felt safe to be open." Kylie got up and started pacing. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Honestly? I think I am just a lot like this. I don't like to be hovered and worried over. I don't want to talk all the time. I liked to have s.e.x and I liked to look like this. But whatever I am, I think this is it. Me. I don't think I'm sick or in need of help or fixing. I think-"

"You're need of acceptance." Tears turned Ally's face red and her eyes were already swollen.

"Yeah. I think that's what I'm saying."

"It's shocking that Tristan would be the one to appreciate everything about you. What are you really saying here, Ky?"

"I think I need to contact him."

"Do you want me to come with you?"