Homeward Bound Part 50

He could think along with her. She'd seen that before, even when neither of them knew the other was a Big Ugly. She said, "That is one of the reasons I want to go back. I would love to speak with them."

"If the doctor says you should not go yet, you could send them letters," Yeager said. "With the new s.h.i.+ps, you ought to have answers before too long."

"That is a truth," Ka.s.squit said thoughtfully; it was one that had not occurred to her. "Would you be kind enough to deliver such letters?"

"You might do better asking my hatchling and his mate," Yeager replied. "They are more sure of a place on the Commodore Perry Commodore Perry than I am." than I am."

"They say they will not go if you do not," Ka.s.squit said. Yeager only shrugged. She left his room wondering what that meant. More complicated Tosevite diplomacy? She wouldn't have been surprised.

A shuttlecraft from the Empire had brought Karen Yeager and the other Americans down from the shuttlecraft from the Empire had brought Karen Yeager and the other Americans down from the Admiral Peary. Admiral Peary. Now another one would take them up to the Now another one would take them up to the Commodore Perry. Commodore Perry. That probably suited her father-in-law's taste for irony. The Americans weren't heading back to Earth, not yet. They were traveling as a group to try to persuade their younger countrymen to let Sam Yeager go back. That probably suited her father-in-law's taste for irony. The Americans weren't heading back to Earth, not yet. They were traveling as a group to try to persuade their younger countrymen to let Sam Yeager go back.

"Are all you Tosevites strapped in?" asked the shuttlecraft pilot, a dark-skinned Rabotev named Pellakrenk. One by one, the Americans said they were. Pellakrenk made the affirmative gesture. "Good," he-she?-said. "The launch corridor rapidly nears."

Humans would have spoken of a launch window. The image in the Race's language worked just as well. It made Karen think of the shuttlecraft flying along a hallway connecting Sitneff to the Commodore Perry. Commodore Perry.

"I commence countdown," Pellakrenk announced, and did. When the Rabotev got to zero, the shuttlecraft roared away from the field. Karen felt as if several large, unfriendly people were sitting on her chest. Each breath was a struggle.

Through the roar of the rocket motor, Jonathan asked, "You okay, Dad?"

"Yeah," Sam Yeager answered-as much a grunt of effort as a word. After a pause for breath, he asked a question of his own: "How you doing, Melanie?"

"One gravity . . . was bad enough," Melanie Blanchard said. "This . . . is worse."

"Soon no gravity at all," Pellakrenk said in fair English. Unlike the Rabotev who'd brought the first load of Americans down to Home, this one didn't pretend ignorance of the humans' language.

When acceleration cut out, Karen gulped. She sternly told her stomach to behave itself. It did, after a few unpleasant minutes when she wondered whether it would listen. She wouldn't have wanted to go weightless if she had morning sickness. That thought made her sympathize with Ka.s.squit, which wasn't something she did every day.

"Everybody okay?" Dr. Blanchard asked. "I've got airsick bags if you need 'em. Don't be shy. Speak up. We don't want the nice folks who're giving us a ride to have to clean up this shuttlecraft."

"What you mean?" Pellakrenk asked. Maybe Rabotevs didn't suffer from nausea in weightlessness. It troubled the Race much less than it did humans.

n.o.body answered the pilot. n.o.body asked Dr. Blanchard for an airsick bag, either. Frank Coffey and Jonathan kept gulping for a while after Karen's stomach settled down, but all they did was gulp. Karen turned her head and looked out a window. The sky had turned black. She could see the curve of Home if she craned her neck a little. Columbus was right, Columbus was right, she thought. she thought. Planets are round. Planets are round.

"Commodore Perry calling the shuttlecraft from Sitneff. Do you read me, shuttlecraft from Sitneff?" The voice, that of a human speaking the language of the Race, crackled from the speaker near Pellakrenk's head. calling the shuttlecraft from Sitneff. Do you read me, shuttlecraft from Sitneff?" The voice, that of a human speaking the language of the Race, crackled from the speaker near Pellakrenk's head.

"This is the shuttlecraft from Sitneff," the pilot answered. "Your signal is loud and clear."

"Good," the human said. "Your trajectory looks fine. Let me speak to Amba.s.sador Yeager, if you would be so kind."

"It shall be done," Pellakrenk said, and pa.s.sed Sam Yeager the microphone.

"I'm here. We're all here," Karen's father-in-law said in English. "Nice of you to want to talk to me." Pellakrenk probably wouldn't notice the jab there. Karen did. She was sure the other Americans on the shuttlecraft did, too.

If the radioman on the Commodore Perry Commodore Perry did, it didn't faze him. "Glad to hear it," was all he said. Karen had trouble figuring out what was bothering him. If the shuttlecraft carried explosives instead of pa.s.sengers, it could get past the stars.h.i.+p's defenses, yes. But the little s.h.i.+p could carry explosives did, it didn't faze him. "Glad to hear it," was all he said. Karen had trouble figuring out what was bothering him. If the shuttlecraft carried explosives instead of pa.s.sengers, it could get past the stars.h.i.+p's defenses, yes. But the little s.h.i.+p could carry explosives and and pa.s.sengers without any trouble. If the Empire wanted to start a war, it wouldn't worry about the lives of the diplomats who'd been in Sitneff. pa.s.sengers without any trouble. If the Empire wanted to start a war, it wouldn't worry about the lives of the diplomats who'd been in Sitneff.

Docking was smooth. The Rabotev's odd hands danced over the controls for the maneuvering jets. The shuttlecraft's docking collar engaged with the air lock on the Commodore Perry Commodore Perry with a smooth click. "We are here," Pellakrenk announced. "I shall wait for you. If your plans change and you decide not to return with me, I trust you will let me know of this." with a smooth click. "We are here," Pellakrenk announced. "I shall wait for you. If your plans change and you decide not to return with me, I trust you will let me know of this."

"It shall be done, Shuttlecraft Pilot," Karen promised.

The outer airlock door, to which the docking collar was connected, swung inward. One by one, the Americans unstrapped and glided into the air lock. When they'd all left the shuttlecraft, the door closed behind them. Tom de la Rosa said, "My G.o.d! The air's the right temperature." And it was. For the first time since going down to Sitneff, Karen wasn't too d.a.m.n hot.

When the inner airlock door opened, a blond woman in coveralls with a captain's bars on the shoulders floated just inside. "h.e.l.lo," she said politely. "I'm Captain Benn. Please follow me to Lieutenant General Chesneau's office."

"No guided tour?" Jonathan asked.

Captain Benn just shook her head. "No," she answered.

What Karen saw on the way to the commandant's office were . . . corridors. They looked a lot like the corridors in the Admiral Peary. Admiral Peary. They were painted light green instead of gray, but so what? They had handholds so people could pull themselves along while weightless. They had convex mirrors at intersections to help prevent collisions. They had doors set into them. All the doors were closed. The Americans up from Sitneff saw not another living soul besides Captain Benn. They were painted light green instead of gray, but so what? They had handholds so people could pull themselves along while weightless. They had convex mirrors at intersections to help prevent collisions. They had doors set into them. All the doors were closed. The Americans up from Sitneff saw not another living soul besides Captain Benn.

"Have we got the plague?" Karen asked.

"We're only following orders," Captain Benn answered, which probably meant yes.

An open doorway was a surprise. Stenciled on the door were the words OFFICE OF THE COMMANDANT OFFICE OF THE COMMANDANT. "Oh, boy," Sam Yeager said. "We're here."

They went in. Another surprise was the appearance of Lieutenant General Chesneau. Karen had expected a J. Edgar Hooverjowled bulldog of a man, stamped from the mold that had produced Lieutenant General Healey. But Chesneau was small and thin-faced and didn't look as if he bit nails in half for fun. His voice was a light tenor, not a ba.s.s growl. Mildly enough, he said, "h.e.l.lo. Pleased to meet all of you. So you're the people who've made my life so much fun since I got here, are you?"

He couldn't have been more disarming if he'd tried-and he no doubt was trying. Sam Yeager said, "Well, General, no offense, but you've made my life a whole lot of fun since you got here, too."

Chesneau looked pained. When he said, "Amba.s.sador, I am am sorry about that," he sounded as if he meant it. But he went on, "You wore the uniform for a long time, sir. I'm sure you understand the need to follow orders." sorry about that," he sounded as if he meant it. But he went on, "You wore the uniform for a long time, sir. I'm sure you understand the need to follow orders."

"He also understands when not to follow them," Karen said. "Do you?"

"In that sense, I hope so," the commandant answered, not raising his voice at all. Yes, he was trying to be disarming. "Whether that sense applies here may be a different question. And it's because the amba.s.sador chose not to follow them on one particular occasion that I have the orders I do." Something tightened in his jawline. However soft he sounded, steel lay underneath.

"I did it. I'll stand by it," Sam Yeager said. "Here's a question for you, General. Suppose, back in the 1960s, that the Lizards found out we'd done what we'd done to them without finding out any of us gave a d.a.m.n about it. What do you think they would have done to us? You ask me, the answer is, whatever they wanted to. whatever they wanted to. Back then, we weren't strong enough to stop them. Slow them down, maybe, but not stop them." Back then, we weren't strong enough to stop them. Slow them down, maybe, but not stop them."

Will Chesneau believe that? Karen wondered. The commandant was somewhere around fifty, which meant he'd been born in the early 1980s. He'd grown up with the USA pulling ahead of the Race, not struggling desperately to get even. Did he understand what things had been like twenty years after the conquest fleet arrived? Karen wondered. The commandant was somewhere around fifty, which meant he'd been born in the early 1980s. He'd grown up with the USA pulling ahead of the Race, not struggling desperately to get even. Did he understand what things had been like twenty years after the conquest fleet arrived?

All he said now was, "Maybe." He looked at the people from the Admiral Peary Admiral Peary one after another, then spoke to Sam Yeager: "You must inspire tremendous loyalty in those who know you, Amba.s.sador. It's not a small gift." one after another, then spoke to Sam Yeager: "You must inspire tremendous loyalty in those who know you, Amba.s.sador. It's not a small gift."

"Thanks, but I don't think that's what's going on here," Karen's father-in-law answered. "What's going on is, your orders are such a bad mistake, everybody can see it but you."

"No offense, sir, but the amba.s.sador's right," Frank Coffey told Lieutenant General Chesneau. "What he's done here is plenty to earn him a ticket back home all by itself. Those other things a long time ago . . . You can argue about them. I admit that-you can. But for one thing, arguing means there's lots to be said on both sides. And for another, n.o.body can argue about what he's done here. The Race was thinking hard about a preventive war against us. It might have started by the time you got here if not for him. Meaning no disrespect to the Doctor, but I don't think he could have held it off as long as Sam Yeager did."

Chesneau pursed his lips. "We did not expect that we would find Colonel Yeager holding the position he does," he admitted. Then his jawline tightened again. "So-you say you'll all stay on Home if the amba.s.sador doesn't go back to Earth? I am going to tell you, this is your one and only chance to change your minds. Anybody?"

He waited. He very visibly waited. Karen knew she and Jonathan weren't going to say anything. Coffey? The de la Rosas? Dr. Blanchard? How could you be sure? How could you blame anybody who didn't want to die on Home?

But no one said a word. Chesneau's jaw tightened once more, this time, Karen judged, as a bulwark against astonishment. The commandant inclined his head to Sam Yeager. "What I told you before still holds, Amba.s.sador-double, I'd say."

"Thanks." Yeager's voice was husky. He nodded to his colleagues. "Thanks," he repeated, more huskily still.

"You did the right thing," Karen said. "We should be able to do the same."

"Touching," Lieutenant General Chesneau said dryly. "Last chance, people. Going once . . . Going twice . . . Gone."

"If Dad's not going anywhere, we're not going anywhere, either," Jonathan said. One by one, the men and women who'd come down from the Admiral Peary Admiral Peary nodded. nodded.

Lieutenant General Chesneau eyed them in bemus.e.m.e.nt. Sam Yeager said, "Just for the record, you ought to know this wasn't my idea."

"Truth," Karen said in the Lizards' language, and added an emphatic cough. Her colleagues made the affirmative gesture. She eyed Chesneau. Plainly, he did understand the word, the cough, and the gesture. That was something, anyhow.

He let out a long sigh. "You are a bunch of obstreperous hooligans."

"Truth," Karen repeated, with another emphatic cough. The rest of the Americans used the affirmative gesture again. By their grins, they took it for a compliment, just as she did.

Chesneau saw that, too. "If you think you can blackmail me . . ." He paused and grimaced and finally started to laugh. "It's possible you're right. If I showed up in the Solar System without any of you, I suspect I would get some fairly sharp questions. So would the administration that sent me out-and unlike you, I can't go into cold sleep and outlast it." Karen's hopes soared. Chesneau eyed her father-in-law. "Well, Amba.s.sador, are you willing to go back to a country where you may not be especially welcome?"

"No, I'm not willing," Sam Yeager answered. Karen stared. But then he went on, "I'm eager, General. What I'm willing to do is take my chances."

"All right, then," Chesneau said. "I'll use altered circ.u.mstances here on Home as justification for disregarding my orders-and we'll see which of us ends up in more trouble." He started to add something, but found he couldn't: the old-timers crowding his office were clapping and cheering too loud for anybody to hear another word he said.

As the American Tosevites from the Admiral Peary Admiral Peary got ready to return to Tosev 3, Ttomalss waited for Ka.s.squit to come wailing to him. She'd done it before, when Jonathan Yeager returned to the United States from her stars.h.i.+p orbiting Tosev 3. Now she was losing not only a mate but the sire of the hatchling growing inside her. And Frank Coffey wasn't just traveling down through the atmosphere. He would be light-years away. got ready to return to Tosev 3, Ttomalss waited for Ka.s.squit to come wailing to him. She'd done it before, when Jonathan Yeager returned to the United States from her stars.h.i.+p orbiting Tosev 3. Now she was losing not only a mate but the sire of the hatchling growing inside her. And Frank Coffey wasn't just traveling down through the atmosphere. He would be light-years away.

But Ka.s.squit did nothing of the sort. She began striking up acquaintances with the wild Big Uglies the Commodore Perry Commodore Perry was leaving behind. The new physician seemed surprised to have a gravid patient, but also seemed confident he would be able to cope with whatever difficulties arose. was leaving behind. The new physician seemed surprised to have a gravid patient, but also seemed confident he would be able to cope with whatever difficulties arose.

Finally, Ttomalss' curiosity got the better of him. He came up to Ka.s.squit in the hotel refectory one morning and said, "May I join you?"

She made the affirmative gesture. "Of course, superior sir . . . provided my nausea does not make me leave more quickly than I would like."

A server came up and offered Ttomalss a printout. He declined; after so long, he had the refectory's choices graven on his liver, and needed no reminders. He ordered. The server sketched the posture of respect and skittered away. Ttomalss swung his eye turrets toward Ka.s.squit. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"About the same as before," she answered. "The wild Big Uglies a.s.sure me these symptoms are nothing out of the ordinary. I have to believe them."

"That is not exactly what I meant," Ttomalss said. "How do you feel about losing your mating partner?"

"He may come back to Home one day, or I may visit Tosev 3," Ka.s.squit said. "With the new s.h.i.+ps, such journeys will not be impossible. I am sad he will go. I am sad, yes, but I am not devastated. Losing a mating partner was harder the first time I did it. I had no standard of comparison then, and no prospect of staying in contact with any other Big Uglies. Things are different now."

"I see." Ttomalss broke off, for the server brought in Ka.s.squit's order just then. After the male left, the psychologist resumed: "You are more mature now than you were then."

"Maybe I am." Ka.s.squit began to eat fried zisuili and fungi. "This is an excellent breakfast," she said, plainly trying to deflect his questions.

"I am glad you like it." Ttomalss wondered what tone to take with her. No usual one was right, and he knew it. He could not speak to her as one friend did to another among the Race. Too much lay between them for that. Except for not physically siring and bearing her, he had been her parent, in the full, ghastly Tosevite sense of the word. And yet, as he'd said himself just now, she was more mature than she had been-too mature to take kindly to his using the sort of authority he'd had when she was a hatchling.

His mouth fell open in a sour laugh. Did Big Uglies ever know these ambiguities? Or did they understand instinctively how such things were supposed to work? He supposed they had to. If they didn't, wouldn't their whole society come tumbling down?

"Is something wrong, superior sir?" Ka.s.squit asked. She must have noticed how unhappy his laugh was. He wouldn't have thought a Big Ugly could. But, as he was the Race's leading student of matters Tosevite, so Ka.s.squit knew the Race more intimately than any other Big Ugly, even Sam Yeager.

"No, nothing is really wrong, wrong," he replied. "I was thinking about how you respond to stress now, as opposed to how you did when you were younger."

"You said it yourself, superior sir: I am more mature than I used to be," Ka.s.squit replied. "I am also more used to the idea of belonging to two worlds than I was. Before, I desperately wanted to be part of the Race, and if that meant abandoning my biological heritage, well then, it did, and that was all there was to it. But I have discovered that I cannot abandon my biology-and I have also discovered I do not want to."

"You will find your counterpart's autobiography interesting," Ttomalss said. "So will I. I look forward to the day the translation reaches Home."

"Truth." Ka.s.squit used the affirmative gesture. The server brought Ttomalss his food. As he began to eat, she went on, "I would give a great deal to meet Mickey and Donald. I have already told the Tosevites as much. Those two of all people should understand some of what I have experienced-though they at least had each other."

Ttomalss crunched a plump roasted grub between his teeth. He said, "There are times when I feel guilty because of what I have done to you. You are not a normal Tosevite, and you never can be. But you may not be worse off on account of that. The lot of a normal Tosevite, especially at the time when I, ah, found you, all too often proved unfortunate."

"Yes, Frank Coffey has pointed out the same thing to me," Ka.s.squit said. Because her room was electronically monitored, Ttomalss knew that. He also knew better than to show he knew. Ka.s.squit went on, "I still think I would rather have been as I would have been, if you take my meaning."

"I think so," Ttomalss said. "Of course, you have not experienced the disease and the hard labor you would have known had I chosen another Tosevite hatchling. You are comparing what you have now against some ideal existence, not against the reality you would have known."

"Perhaps," Ka.s.squit said. "I have certainly learned more of bodily infirmity since become gravid than I ever knew before. These are lessons I do not care to expand upon further." She looked at her almost empty plate. "This morning, things seem willing to stay down."

"I am glad to hear it," Ttomalss said. "I gather your gravidity has persuaded you not to travel on the Commodore Perry Commodore Perry?"

Ka.s.squit made the affirmative gesture. "None of the wild Tosevites seemed to think it was a good idea. No one knows how traveling faster than light affects developing hatchlings, and no one seems to want to find out by experiment. I do not care for this conclusion, but I must say it makes sense."

"I agree." Ttomalss bit down on a ripe ippa fruit. Tart juice and pulp flooded into his mouth. "There will be time enough for such things later."

"I hope so," Ka.s.squit said. "This is one of the occasions, though, when I notice that your likely span is longer than mine." She shrugged. "It cannot be helped. If you will excuse me, superior sir . . ." She rose and left the refectory.

As Ttomalss finished breakfast, he wondered what his likely span was. Ka.s.squit meant that an average member of the Race lived longer than an average Big Ugly. She was right about that, of course. But it held true only in times of peace, of stability. If the missiles started flying, if the hydrogen bombs started bursting, no one of any species was likely to live very long.

The Race and the Big Uglies hadn't blown Tosev 3 sky-high. They'd come close when the Deutsche reached for something they weren't big enough to grab. They'd come close, but they hadn't quite done it. Both sides there had got used to the idea that they were living on the edge of a volcano.

Now all the worlds of the Empire were living by the same crater. Most males and females on Home didn't realize it yet, but it was true. Rabotev 2 and Halless 1 were blissfully unaware of it . . . or were they? Had Tosevite faster-than-light stars.h.i.+ps appeared out of nowhere in their skies? For that matter, had the Big Uglies bombarded or conquered the other two planets in the Empire? If they had, Home wouldn't find out about it for years-unless more Tosevite stars.h.i.+ps brought the news.

That thought reminded Ttomalss just what a predicament the Race found itself in. The Big Uglies could know things sooner than his own species could, and could act more quickly on what they knew. For years, the Race had tried to decide whether Tosevites were enough of a menace to be worth destroying, and had never quite made up its mind. Even if it had, doing anything would have taken years and years.

If the American Big Uglies decided the Race was still enough of a menace to be worth destroying, how long would they take to act on their decision? Not long at all, both because they were generally quicker to act than the Race and because they now had the technology to match their speed of thought.

Involuntarily, Ttomalss' eye turrets looked up toward the ceiling. Even if he could have looked up through the ceiling, he couldn't have seen the Commodore Perry Commodore Perry in orbit around Home, not in daylight. If the stars.h.i.+p launched missiles, he would never know about it till too late. in orbit around Home, not in daylight. If the stars.h.i.+p launched missiles, he would never know about it till too late.

One eye turret swung down to the grubs and fruit he'd been eating. He was glad he'd just about finished his meal before such thoughts occurred to him. They would have robbed him of his appet.i.te.

After he left the refectory, he thought about going out into Sitneff to call Pesskrag and see how her research team was coming. He'd taken several steps toward the door before he stopped and made the negative gesture. What good would that do? She'd said the research would take years. Asking her about it mere days after he'd last spoken to her wouldn't gain him any new information. He would just be tugging at her tailstump, annoying her for no good reason.

But he wanted rea.s.surance. He laughed, not that it was particularly funny. Back when Ka.s.squit was a hatchling, he'd constantly had to rea.s.sure her that everything was all right, that he would go on taking care of her, that she was a good little female. Sometimes it had almost driven him mad. Hatchlings of the Race, being more independent from their earliest days, didn't need that constant reinforcement. He'd probably been ill-equipped to give it. Whatever psychological problems Ka.s.squit had were in no small measure of his making.

And now he understood Ka.s.squit in a way he hadn't while he was raising her. In the huge, frightening world of interspecies rivalries and new technologies, what was he but a tiny hatchling calling out for someone, anyone, to help make him feel safe?

He didn't think Pesskrag could do for him what he'd once done for Ka.s.squit. He didn't think anyone could-not Atvar, not even the 37th Emperor Risson himself. He suspected they were all looking for rea.s.surance in the same way he was, and for the same reasons. That didn't make him crave it any less.

Change was here. For millennia, the Race had insulated itself against such misfortunes. Everyone had praised that as wisdom. Countless generations had lived peaceful, secure, happy lives because of it.

Now, though, like it or not, change was hissing at the door. If the Race couldn't change . . . If the Race couldn't change, then in a certain ultimate sense those hundred thousand years of peace and stability might not matter at all.

Ttomalss s.h.i.+vered. Few males or females had ever b.u.mped snouts with the extinction of their species. That was what he saw now. Maybe it was nothing but panic over the arrival of the Commodore Perry. Commodore Perry. On the other hand, maybe panic was what the arrival of the On the other hand, maybe panic was what the arrival of the Commodore Perry Commodore Perry demanded. However much he wished it didn't, the second seemed more likely than the first. demanded. However much he wished it didn't, the second seemed more likely than the first.

The wild Big Uglies hadn't panicked when the conquest fleet arrived. They'd fought back more ferociously and more ingeniously than the Race dreamt they could. Now the Race had to respond in turn. Could it? Ttomalss s.h.i.+vered again. He just didn't know.

There was Home, spinning by as it had ever since the Admiral Peary Admiral Peary went into orbit around it. The sight had raised goose b.u.mps in Glen Johnson. Here he was, eyeing the scenery as his s.p.a.cecraft circled a world circling another sun. The went into orbit around it. The sight had raised goose b.u.mps in Glen Johnson. Here he was, eyeing the scenery as his s.p.a.cecraft circled a world circling another sun. The Admiral Peary Admiral Peary was still doing the same thing it had always done-but the stars.h.i.+p had gone from history-maker to historical afterthought in the blink of an eye. was still doing the same thing it had always done-but the stars.h.i.+p had gone from history-maker to historical afterthought in the blink of an eye.