Getting Old Is Criminal Part 12

With their expressions, Barbi and Casey send me a message. Call if you need us. I nod.

I am aware that my own girls are standing off to one side, saying nothing. Ida is pretending to read the ads from her mailbox. Sophie and Bella stare aimlessly. I suffer for them because they are feeling left out. But there's nothing I can do.

"How long will you be away?" Irving stands by Millie in her wheelchair.

"Yeah, I want to know, too." Sol stares lovingly at Evvie, who refuses to look at him. "Maybe we could have another go," he suggests.

There is smirking and giggling at that, since most of those standing here were witness to the Sol and Evvie breakfast debacle.

"Time to get moving," Evvie says briskly, looking at her waiting driver.

My girls look stricken. Sophie and Bella run over and hug us. Bella is near tears. "Hey," Evvie says, "we're not that far away and we'll be going back and forth a lot."

"If there are any new developments with the Peeper, please call and let us know," I say to my threesome. "We'll be in constant touch with our cell phones." For once, "progress" is coming in handy. Bella and Sophie beam at that.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Irving now getting into Denny's car with Millie and Yolie. Which surprises me since they hardly ever leave the premises. Twice in one week?

"And keep an eye on Irving and Millie. Something seems to be going on with them. Let me know."

"We will," both Sophie and Bella echo.

Evvie gets into her cab and they start to drive off.

I get into the Caddy and rev up as fast as I can, not all that easy, what with having to try and figure out what all the fancy dials and whatnots are.

"Take your time," Evvie calls from the cab, waving to all like the grande dame she wants to be, basking in the glory of all those envious faces.

I get the Caddy moving, such a smooth ride compared to my old junker. Turn the corner from Lanai Gardens and don't look back.

I enter Wilmington House after having the Cadillac parked for me by a waiting attendant. No more parking behind the hired help with this hot item. I stand in the lobby, next to my suitcase, and look around. It's very quiet. A few residents look up from their books, newspapers, knitting, whatever. I smile. A few smile back. Some people are chatting, their voices low. I take a closer look at my new companions-to-be. Last time I was here, I didn't get the chance. Hmmm. Seems like a clone of Grecian Villas. Yet again, no shorts. No sundresses. No T-s.h.i.+rts. Women wearing pantsuits or skirts albeit cotton. Stockings and low heels. Men in sport s.h.i.+rts and slacks and sport jackets. Everyone looking very pressed. Is this a uniform for all the retirement facilities except ours?

Evvie arrives moments later with an att.i.tude. This time just about everyone looks up.

"Thank you so much," she tells the cabdriver grandiosely, as he plants her suitcase not too far from where I am standing. She looks around the room, waving gaily to one and all. "Hi, there!"

Then she pretends to notice me. We play at looking each other over.

Evvie walks over to me, with her hand out. "Evelyn Markowitz."

I accept her handshake. "Gladys Gold."

Hope Watson rushes over to greet us with a fake

smile. She takes both our hands in hers. "Welcome to Wilmington House. Most happy to see you."

She addresses the seated group. "These are our new tenants. I'll formally introduce them at dinner."

With that, the stylish ladies and gents go back to what they were doing.

Hope, hiding her hostility, asks, "Since you both arrived at the same time, you wouldn't mind my taking you up to your rooms together?"

"Of course not," Evvie ever-so-graciously agrees.

In the elevator, the phony smile disappears and Ms. Watson's intense dislike of us takes over. She says nothing, so we say nothing as well.

When we reach the fifth floor, she leads us down the hall, walking on carpeting so soft one could sink into it. "Per your request, I was able to get you adjoining apartments with inside doors. You're lucky, because we don't have that many 'en suites.' "

"Thank you," I say.

"Has Philip Smythe moved in yet?" Evvie asks.

She bristles. She's not in the habit of discussing other residents, but she knows she has no choice in this odd situation. "He's due much later tonight."

She changes the subject quickly. "Since you weren't bringing any of your own furniture, we've furnished for you. I hope you find our choices satisfactory."

"I'm sure we will. Thank you again." My teeth hurt from all the polite smiles.

"Do not think I am pleased with this, but it was the board's decision."

"I promise we will not do anything to upset the other guests." I play pacifier. We need Hope's cooperation.

"I will hold you to that promise. Just give me your background information that I'm to use tonight when I introduce you."

Evvie takes a list out of her purse and hands it to Ms. Watson.

Hope opens both doors and hands us our keys. "Rules and regulations, as well as our weekly events schedule, will be found in the desk drawers. Breakfasts starts at seven. Lunch is at noon. Dinner is at six. Please be prompt."

With that, Hope marches quickly away from us.

We walk into our individual front doors. Before we even look around, we unlock the connected inner doors. Evvie looks gleefully at me through our private inside entrances. "Isn't this great!"

Still grinning, she turns and races away from me to inspect her apartment. I examine my own quarters, which I a.s.sume are similar to hers. How lovely. s.p.a.cious rooms, high ceilings with cla.s.sic moldings. The decor, in keeping with the Art Deco downstairs, is exquisite, with softly muted colors and pleasant watercolors on the walls. We each have floor-to-ceiling windows as well as a private balcony and a beautiful view of the s.p.a.cious grounds. My entire apartment back at Lanai Gardens would fit in the living room alone. I hear a noise and call into Evvie through her open door. "Are you all right? What's that noise?"

Evvie's joyful voice calls out to me. "That's me bouncing up and down on the bed. I don't ever want to go home again. Don't you just love it?"

I call back to her, agreeing.

She pokes her head into my place, all smiles. "Ready, get set, and go! I can't wait to see what our perp looks like. I wonder where Philip Smythe is right now?"

SEVENTEEN.

THE MYSTERY MAN.

It might have been a scene from a romantic

movie. The place: Heathrow Airport. Morning. Slight rain, misty. An older gentleman, das.h.i.+ng, in Slight rain, misty. An older gentleman, das.h.i.+ng, in his Burberry raincoat and matching peaked cap. A his Burberry raincoat and matching peaked cap. A woman, a British Royalcla.s.s lady. Cashmere coat woman, a British Royalcla.s.s lady. Cashmere coat and matching wide-brimmed cashmere hat. and matching wide-brimmed cashmere hat. Standing next to her RollsRoyce, her driver waiting patiently and discreetly off to one side. Standing next to her RollsRoyce, her driver waiting patiently and discreetly off to one side.

Their good-byes seem heartfelt, their kisses pa.s.sionate. The script might have come from any vintage film.

"I wish you didn't have to jet back to the States this soon." this soon."

"I hate that I have to leave you. But you know, I must be back by the first." I must be back by the first."

"You'll call often, of course."

"Every spare moment I have."

She presses the familiar forest green Harrods gift bag into his hands. "So you'll remember me." gift bag into his hands. "So you'll remember me."

"How could I forget you, my dearest? It's been a most magical month. Now I must take my leave a most magical month. Now I must take my leave or I'll miss my flight." or I'll miss my flight."

She presses her handkerchief to her eyes to wipe the tears, then turns and indicates to her driver to the tears, then turns and indicates to her driver to open the door. "Until next August, my darling." open the door. "Until next August, my darling."

The driver helps her into the Rolls, as she continues to look back at her lover. They drive off. The man waves. The man waves.

At the same time, nearby, a man in his forties bids good-bye to a pretty young woman leaving in bids good-bye to a pretty young woman leaving in a cab. a cab.

Both men turn and enter the same airport door, b.u.mping into each other. They both apologize. b.u.mping into each other. They both apologize.

As they walk through the terminal, side by side, the younger man comments, "You look awfully the younger man comments, "You look awfully pleased." pleased."

"I should be. I've just had a wonderful liaison with a lovely lady." with a lovely lady."

"I did, too."

"Then why do you look so irritable?"

"Because she wants marriage and I want amus.e.m.e.nt." amus.e.m.e.nt."

"Well, why not bed down only the ones without strings?" strings?"

"All of them have strings. s.e.x as a teaser, then, having shown their wares, marriage or no more having shown their wares, marriage or no more s.e.x. I don't want to be tied down, just to satisfy my s.e.x. I don't want to be tied down, just to satisfy my normal male needs." normal male needs."

"If I may say so, that's your problem: Bedding down younger women. They place too high a price down younger women. They place too high a price on what they have to offer. Take some advice from on what they have to offer. Take some advice from an old codger like me. It's the older women you an old codger like me. It's the older women you want. They're so easy to get and so eager to please. want. They're so easy to get and so eager to please. So many are rich and ever so grateful. And they So many are rich and ever so grateful. And they give you their all in gifts, in bed and out." He indicates his Harrods bag. give you their all in gifts, in bed and out." He indicates his Harrods bag.

"Then how do you get rid of them when you tire of them?" tire of them?"

The elderly gentleman smiles. "That's never a problem. Old ladies have a way of dying." problem. Old ladies have a way of dying."