Charlie Bone and the Time Twister Part 13

"I've no idea," said Paton. "Perhaps nothing will happen. And then again, perhaps you can actually make use of his power. There was a lot of it, according to my books. Just be on your guard, Charlie. If you find yourself acting strangely then come and tell me, me, and we'll try and figure something out." and we'll try and figure something out."

This wasn't very rea.s.suring, but Charlie realized it was the best he could hope for. He decided to take a sip of Paton's cider and then another.

"Feasting in the dark," said Mrs. Bone, turning on the light.

"Woops!" said Paton, averting his eyes from the lamp. "Watch out, Amy I've already had one accident today."

"Sorry Paton, I forgot." Mrs. Bone turned off the light and proceeded to make a pot of tea by candlelight.

Charlie took his mug of tea up to bed. When he left the kitchen Paton was listening, enraptured, as Mrs. Bone described every scene in Divine Drums. Divine Drums. Because of his light-exploding problem he hadn't been able to visit a theater since he was a child, and he loved to listen to Amy Bone's animated accounts. She could be a very good storyteller, when she did something out of the ordinary Because of his light-exploding problem he hadn't been able to visit a theater since he was a child, and he loved to listen to Amy Bone's animated accounts. She could be a very good storyteller, when she did something out of the ordinary The following afternoon, Charlie and his uncle set off for the Pets' Cafe. At the end of Filbert Street Filbert Street , they met Benjamin and Runner Bean. , they met Benjamin and Runner Bean.

"Why is your uncle reading a book?" asked Benjamin, as if Paton were not there.

Charlie's uncle was hardly aware of Benjamin, Benjamin, he was concentrating fiercely on the large book that he held only a few inches from his nose. he was concentrating fiercely on the large book that he held only a few inches from his nose.

Charlie explained that it was an experiment.

"Ah," said Benjamin with a knowing smile. "Can me me and Runner come, too? You might need extra help." and Runner come, too? You might need extra help."

The two boys walked on either side of Paton, whileRunner whileRunner Bean loped ahead. It was a chilly gray Sunday and luckily there weren't many people about. Charlie felt slightly embarra.s.sed, walking beside a man with his nose in a large book. Bean loped ahead. It was a chilly gray Sunday and luckily there weren't many people about. Charlie felt slightly embarra.s.sed, walking beside a man with his nose in a large book.

There was a tricky moment when they reached the traffic lights. Paton was about to walk across a red light, when the boys shouted, "NO!" Paton glanced up startled, and Charlie whispered urgently "Don't look at the lights, Uncle Paton!"

"Ahem," murmured Paton, stepping back onto the curb.

"Whew!" breathed Benjamin. "That was close."

They resumed their journey avoiding traffic lights where they could, and guiding Paton across the busiest roads. At last they found Water Street Water Street and, a little further on, a narrow alley with the sign of a frog high on the wall. and, a little further on, a narrow alley with the sign of a frog high on the wall.

"Doesn't look like a proper sign," Benjamin commented.

"It must be Frog Street Frog Street ," said Charlie, "because it's next to ," said Charlie, "because it's next to Water Street Water Street ." He didn't dare to ask his uncle for advice because there was a lighted window just below the frog sign. ." He didn't dare to ask his uncle for advice because there was a lighted window just below the frog sign.

Runner Bean settled the question. He ran down the alley barking excitedly and the boys had no option but to follow him. It seemed a very unlikely place for a cafe, but as they walked further from the main road they began to hear the barks, grunts, and screechings screechings of many creatures. of many creatures.

"Sounds like a zoo," said Benjamin.

Runner Bean had disappeared around a bend at the end of the alley and was now barking deliriously Charlie put a hand on his uncle's arm and steered him around the corner.

And there was the Pets' Cafe. It appeared to have been built into an ancient wall and filled the entire end of the alley On On one side a small green door stood open to the street, and on the other a group of dogs stood barking at Runner Bean through a huge latticed window: Above the window there was a sign filled with paintings of animals. The words one side a small green door stood open to the street, and on the other a group of dogs stood barking at Runner Bean through a huge latticed window: Above the window there was a sign filled with paintings of animals. The words THE THE PETS' PETS' CAFe CAFe could just be made out between twirling tails, paws. could just be made out between twirling tails, paws. whiskers whiskers , wings, and claws. , wings, and claws.

"This is it," said Charlie, guiding Paton to the door.

Benjamin grabbed Runner Bean's collar and they all went in.

The crescendo of animal noises was so loud Charlie could hardly hear his own voice. "I can see a counter right at the back," he shouted to Benjamin.

Before they could get there, a large man with curly black hair stepped in front of them. He was wearing a long white s.h.i.+rt decorated with elephant heads.

"Animals?" he said.

"No," said Charlie. "We're human."

"I know that," the man said impatiently "Where are your companions? No one's allowed in without an animal, bird, or reptile."

"Oh." Charlie's face fell.

"We've got a dog," Benjamin piped up. "He's over there, talking to a labrador labrador ." ."

"One animal each," said the man. "Otherwise, out!" He pointed to the door.

Paton was finding it difficult to concentrate on his book. He held it even closer to his face in his efforts to avoid looking at the lights twinkling in the low ceiling. "Ahem," he muttered. And then, in a low voice, "Smells awful. Let's go."

Charlie was just wondering what to do next when Gabriel appeared, holding a large wooden box. He took two gerbils from the box, handed one to Charlie and popped another in Paton's top pocket.

. " Er Er - no," Paton objected, touching a gerbil nose. But it was too late. - no," Paton objected, touching a gerbil nose. But it was too late.

The large man said, "That's better," and ushered them up to the counter. Here they were faced with a difficult choice. All along the counter among plates of ordinary cookies there were bowls of sausages, cakes that smelled of fish, round pellets that could have been chocolate (or might not have been), and seeds of various sizes.

"I recommend the sausages," said Gabriel. "They're delicious."

"They look as if they could be for dogs," said Charlie.

"Probably are," said Gabriel. "They're still delicious. The gerbils love them."

"Cookies and three waters, please," said Charlie playing safe.

The man behind the counter said, "If it isn't Charlie Bone."

Charlie blinked. At last he recognized Mr. Onimous Onimous , the mouse-catcher. It was his pointy-toothed smile that gave him away He looked very different in his chef's white hat and ap.r.o.n. The last time Charlie had seen him he'd been wearing a fake-fur coat and a velvet waistcoat. , the mouse-catcher. It was his pointy-toothed smile that gave him away He looked very different in his chef's white hat and ap.r.o.n. The last time Charlie had seen him he'd been wearing a fake-fur coat and a velvet waistcoat.

"What are you doing here, Mr. Onimous Onimous ?" Charlie asked. ?" Charlie asked.

"Giving my wife a helping hand," said Mr. Onimous Onimous . "It's her . "It's her cafe, cafe, you know Her idea entirely Good, isn't it?" you know Her idea entirely Good, isn't it?"

"Brilliant," said Charlie. "But do the flame cats mind all these other visitors? I mean, they live with you, don't they?"

"The flames?" Mr. Mr. Onimous Onimous raised his whiskery eyebrows. "They're not often here, raised his whiskery eyebrows. "They're not often here, bless bless ' ' em em . . Far too busy with their own particular duties. Far too busy with their own particular duties. They pop in around midnight for a quick bite and a snooze, and then they're off again. They pop in around midnight for a quick bite and a snooze, and then they're off again. Unless they need me, of course. Unless they need me, of course. In which case I have to follow them." In which case I have to follow them."

"I see." Charlie paid for the food. It was very cheap.

"Good to see you, Charlie," said Mr. Onimous Onimous . "You take care, now!" . "You take care, now!"

"You, too, Mr. Onimous Onimous ." ."

The line behind Charlie was growing, so he took his tray to the table where his friends were sitting. He had to push his way through a crowd of dogs before he could reach the table. Gabriel had chosen a place right beside the window and they were able to watch the strange a.s.sortment of customers approaching the cafe.

At the table beside them a tarantula crawled around a red straw hat. The woman wearing the hat seemed quite happy about the situation. Now and again she pa.s.sed tidbits up to the tarantula. Fearing the tidbits were alive, Charlie looked away "What have you got to show us, then?" he asked Gabriel.

Gabriel pulled a plastic bag from under the table. "Look!" He reached into the bag and drew out an old tweed coat and a battered cap.

" Asa's Asa's disguise!" said Charlie. disguise!" said Charlie.

"Exactly I even found the mustache." Gabriel held up a strip of white whiskers. "They were lying in the lane outside our yard. I reckon the wind from the Thunder House blew them there. Asa Asa probably hid them in the woods." probably hid them in the woods."

Charlie shuddered. "You mean it was Asa Asa in the woods. in the woods. Asa Asa as a . . . whatever he can turn into when it's getting dark?" as a . . . whatever he can turn into when it's getting dark?"

"Does he have to take all his clothes off," asked Benjamin, "before he turns into a beast?"

Gabriel frowned at him. "This is serious, Benjamin."

"Sorry I just wondered."

"Why would Asa Asa go all the way up to the Heights?" murmured Charlie. "Does he live there?" go all the way up to the Heights?" murmured Charlie. "Does he live there?"

"I don't know where he lives," said Gabriel. "But I think he was warning us off. He was trying to make sure we wouldn't go back to the Thunder House."

"But why?" asked Charlie.

Gabriel shrugged. "Perhaps it's got something to do with your cousin Henry That evil old man who sent him through time knows he's come back. He's probably furious."

"Of course," said Charlie. "Ezekiel has ordered Manfred and Asa Asa to find Henry But they know that we'll protect him - you, me, Lysander, and Tancred. So they're trying to split us up, weaken us. Have you told Lysander about the clothes?" to find Henry But they know that we'll protect him - you, me, Lysander, and Tancred. So they're trying to split us up, weaken us. Have you told Lysander about the clothes?"

"Couldn't contact him," said Gabriel. "I'll see him tomorrow."

At that moment a body flung itself at the window Charlie looked up to see Asa Asa Pike glaring at them through the small gla.s.s panes. His lips were drawn back in a horrible snarl, and his yellow eyes darted around the table until he saw the bag of clothes. Pike glaring at them through the small gla.s.s panes. His lips were drawn back in a horrible snarl, and his yellow eyes darted around the table until he saw the bag of clothes.

"Mine," he rasped. "Give them here, you wretches!

His sudden appearance caused an uproar an uproar in the cafe. Terrified birds fluttered, screeching, to the ceiling; dogs threw back their heads and howled; cats hissed and spat; rabbits rushed under tables, and everything else hid behind the large potted plants standing around the room. in the cafe. Terrified birds fluttered, screeching, to the ceiling; dogs threw back their heads and howled; cats hissed and spat; rabbits rushed under tables, and everything else hid behind the large potted plants standing around the room.

"He's not very popular, is he?" Benjamin said in a shaky voice.

"Keep reading, Uncle Paton," Charlie warned.

The cafe was already in turmoil without his uncle breaking gla.s.s. Food was flying everywhere, plates had been smashed, drinks had been spilled, and anxious customers were tripping over frightened animals.

"Look out," said Gabriel. "Here he comes!"

Asa crashed through the door and walked straight into the man in the elephant s.h.i.+rt. crashed through the door and walked straight into the man in the elephant s.h.i.+rt.

Animal?" said the man, who was evidently a sort of bouncer.

For a moment Charlie thought Asa Asa was going to say he was an animal, but he just snarled into the man's face. was going to say he was an animal, but he just snarled into the man's face.

"That's it!" said the bouncer. "Out!" "Out!"

He grabbed Asa Asa by the scruff of his scrawny neck and thrust him out onto the pavement. by the scruff of his scrawny neck and thrust him out onto the pavement. Asa Asa whipped around and was about to burst in again, when several large dogs rushed through the open door and set upon him. whipped around and was about to burst in again, when several large dogs rushed through the open door and set upon him.

Asa gave a high-pitched yell and ran off around the corner, followed by the pack of baying dogs. If Benjamin hadn't leaped up and grabbed Runner Bean's collar, he would have joined the chase. The big dog was very disappointed to miss the fun and whined monotonously until Mr. gave a high-pitched yell and ran off around the corner, followed by the pack of baying dogs. If Benjamin hadn't leaped up and grabbed Runner Bean's collar, he would have joined the chase. The big dog was very disappointed to miss the fun and whined monotonously until Mr. Onimous Onimous gave him a rainbow-colored bone to chew gave him a rainbow-colored bone to chew The Pets' Cafe was emptying rapidly Several Several customers had gone racing after their dogs, and the others, having caught and calmed their pets, had decided to leave before things got worse. customers had gone racing after their dogs, and the others, having caught and calmed their pets, had decided to leave before things got worse.

Charlie and his friends stayed to help Mr. Onimous Onimous and the bouncer, Norton Cross, clear up the mess. and the bouncer, Norton Cross, clear up the mess.

"That tall fellow is a bit of a lazy layabout layabout ," Norton remarked, glancing at Paton, who was still reading his book. ," Norton remarked, glancing at Paton, who was still reading his book.

"He can have - accidents," said Charlie awkwardly. "So it's best that he doesn't help."

"He's special," said Mr. Onimous Onimous , winking at Charlie , winking at Charlie "Oh, no. Not one of them is he? We've got more than our fair share of oddb.a.l.l.s in this city," grumbled Norton. "That one the dogs chased - you could tell he was peculiar. Animals always know when something Not one of them is he? We've got more than our fair share of oddb.a.l.l.s in this city," grumbled Norton. "That one the dogs chased - you could tell he was peculiar. Animals always know when something ain't ain't right." right."

Mrs. Silk, who had finished her deliveries, came through a door at the back of the counter. She was followed by an extremely tall woman with pale wispy hair and a very long nose. Surprisingly this turned out to be Mrs. Onoria Onoria Onimous Onimous . She was a gentle, friendly person and seemed to like children almost as much as animals. . She was a gentle, friendly person and seemed to like children almost as much as animals.

When, at last, the cafe was restored to order, Mrs. Silk offered the boys a lift back to Filbert Street Filbert Street . "And your father, too," she said, glancing at Paton. . "And your father, too," she said, glancing at Paton. "If that is your father." "If that is your father."

"No, I haven't got a . . . no no , that's not my father," said Charlie. "And we've got to go somewhere else , that's not my father," said Charlie. "And we've got to go somewhere else , thanks , thanks all the same." all the same."

"OK, then . ' . ' Bye, boys. Come along, Gabriel." Mrs. Silk made for the door. Bye, boys. Come along, Gabriel." Mrs. Silk made for the door.

Gabriel reached over and rescued his gerbil from Paton's pocket, who who didn't seem to notice. He pulled his other gerbil out of Charlie's pocket. Luckily it had gone to sleep and had only eaten a peppermint stuck to the bottom of the pocket. "See you tomorrow;" said Gabriel. "It should be interesting. I wonder if didn't seem to notice. He pulled his other gerbil out of Charlie's pocket. Luckily it had gone to sleep and had only eaten a peppermint stuck to the bottom of the pocket. "See you tomorrow;" said Gabriel. "It should be interesting. I wonder if Asa's Asa's been bitten." been bitten."

He staggered after his mother with the bag of old clothes under one arm, and his box of gerbils hugged to his chest with the other.

Charlie tapped his uncle's shoulder and said, "We can go now Uncle Paton."

Paton stood up, his eyes still glued to the page he was reading. Charlie steered him outside where they found Benjamin clipping a leash to Runner Bean's collar. "Just in case he gets the urge to chase something," Benjamin explained.

Their walk to Ingledew's Ingledew's bookshop was relatively easy. No traffic lights had to be navigated, no roads crossed. As they walked around the huge cathedral they could hear the deep toned notes of the organ and Charlie thought of his father. Lyell Bone had been one of the cathedral organists until one foggy night eight years bookshop was relatively easy. No traffic lights had to be navigated, no roads crossed. As they walked around the huge cathedral they could hear the deep toned notes of the organ and Charlie thought of his father. Lyell Bone had been one of the cathedral organists until one foggy night eight years ago, ago, he had gotten into his car and driven over the edge of a quarry He had never been seen again. he had gotten into his car and driven over the edge of a quarry He had never been seen again.

"I know what you're thinking, dear boy" Paton murmured. Lyell was his nephew and had been one of one of his best friends. his best friends.

There was a CLOSED CLOSED sign on sign on Ingledew's Ingledew's door, but a soft light in the window illuminated the piles of ancient-looking books. door, but a soft light in the window illuminated the piles of ancient-looking books.

Charlie rang the doorbell. There was no answer. He pressed the bell again. They could hear it ringing in the back of the shop, but no one came to the door.

"Didn't you say they went out at weekends?" said Benjamin. "They could be at a museum, or the movies, or something."

"Of course," said Charlie. "I forgot."

Paton snapped his book shut and stared despondently at the window.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Uncle P -" Charlie began.

But Paton's distress was too great. With a small pop the light in the window went out, and a shower of gla.s.s settled on the antique books.

"Darn!" muttered Paton. "She'll know it was me."

"No, she won't," said Charlie. "Miss Ingledew Ingledew probably often has lights failing." probably often has lights failing."