The English Spy Part 66

The next morning saw my friend Transit and myself again prepared to separate from our friends Heartly and Eglantine, on our way to Worcester, ~333~~where we had promised to pay a visit to old Crony on our road back to London. Reader, if our sketches in Bath are somewhat brief, remember we are ever on the wing in search of novelty, and are not disposed to stay one day longer in any place than it affords fresh food for pen and pencil In the characters we have sketched we disclaim any thought of personal offence; eccentrics are public property, and must not object to appear in print, seeing that they are in the journey through life allowed to ride a free horse, without that curb which generally restrains the conduct of others But I must here take my farewell of the elegant city of that attractive spot of which Bayley justly sings

"In this auspicious region all mankind (Whate'er their taste) congenial joys may find; Here monied men may pa.s.s for men of worth; And wealthy Cits may hide plebeian birth.

Here men devoid of cash may live with ease, Appear genteel, and pa.s.s for what they please."

WAGGERIES AT WORCESTER.

~334~~The meeting with an old friend at Worcester induced us to domicile there for the s.p.a.ce of three days, during which time I will not say we were laid up with Lavender, but certainly near enough to scent it. Most of our Worcester acquaintance will however understand what is meant by this allusion to one of the pleasantest fellows that ever commanded the uncivil customers in the Castle, since the time of the civil wars.

The city is perhaps as quiet a dull place as may be found within his majesty's dominions, where a cannon-ball might be fired down the princ.i.p.al street at noon-day without killing more than the ruby-nosed inc.u.mbent of a fat benefice, a superannuated tradesman, or a manufacturer of crockery-ware. No stranger should, however, pa.s.s through the place without visiting the extensive China works of Messrs. Flight and Barr, to which the greatest facility is given by the proprietors; and the visit must amply repay any admirer of the arts. A jovial evening, spent with our old friend of the Castle, had ended with a kind invitation from him to partake of a spread at his hotel on the following morning; but such was the apprehensions of Transit at the idea of entering this mansion of the desolate, from being troubled with certain qualmish remembrances of the previous night's debauch, that not all my intreaties, nor the repeated messages of the worthy commander of the Castle, could bring our friend Transit to book.

~335~~To those who know my friend John, and there are few of any respectability who do not both know and admire him, his facetious talent will require but little introduction. Lavender is what a man of the world, whose business it has been to watch over the interests of society, should be, superior in education and in mind, to any one I ever met with filling a similar situation: the governor of the Castle is a companion for a lord, or to suit the purposes of justice, instantly metamorphosed into an out and outer, a regular knowing cove, whose knowledge of flash and the cant and slang used by the dissolute is considered to be superior to that of any public officer. A specimen of this will be found in the following note, which a huge fellow of a turnkey brought to my bedside, and then apologised for disturbing me, by pleading the governor's instructions.

"QUEER COVES,

"I hope you have left your dabs,{1} and n.o.bs,{2} all right: perhaps prime legs{3} is queer in the oration-box{4} from a too frequent use of the steamer{5} last darky.{6} I make this fakement{7} to let you know I and morning spread are waiting.

Steel-hotel, Yours, &c.

June 9, 1825. LOCKIT."

[Ill.u.s.tration: page335]

My readers will very readily conceive that with such a companion we were not long in tracing out what little of true life was to be found in Worcester, and certainly one of the pleasantest scenes in which we partic.i.p.ated was a visit to the Subscription Bowling Alley, where, in the summer time, the most respectable of the inhabitants of Worcester meet every evening

1 Beds.

2 Heads.

3 Cruikshank..

4 Cranium.

5 A pipe.

6 Night.

7 A note.

~336~~for recreation; and a right pleasant company we found them. The Caleb Quotem of the society, Dr. Davis, united in one person all the acquirements of the great original: he not only keeps the time of the city, but keeps all the musicians of the place in time; regulates the watch and the watches, and plays a solo _a la Dragonetti_ upon the double ba.s.s. Sam Swan is another choice spirit, who sings a good chant, lives well respected, and sails down the stream of time as pleasantly as if he was indeed a royal bird.

An old Burdett.i.te, Will Shunk, recognised in us a partizan of the government candidate at one of the Westminster Elections: "But, sir,"

said Will, "politics and I have nearly parted; for you must know, I am tolerably _well breeched_, and can fairly say I am hand and glove with all the first n.o.bility in the kingdom." A truth to which Captain Corls readily a.s.sented by explaining that Master William Shunk was a first-rate glover, and considered worth a plum at least: "in short, sir," said the captain, "he is a nabob here, and brings to my mind some of the eastern princes with whom I have met during my Campaigns in the East." The very mention of which exploit induced our friend the governor to tip us the office, and the joke was well humoured until silver Powell, who they say comes from Norfolk, interrupted our travels in India, with, "Captain, can't you see that ere Athlantic fellow, the governor, is making fun of you to amuse his London friends." A hint that appeared to strike the Captain very forcibly, for it struck him dumb.

A good-humoured contest between honest Joe Shelton, and Probert the school-master, elicited some very comical exposures in the way of recriminations. Joe, it would appear, is an artist in economy; and an old story about a lobster raised Joe's ire to its height, and produced the Lex taliones on Probert, ~337~~whose habits of frugality wanted his compet.i.tor's humour to make them pa.s.s current. Transit, who had been amusing himself with sketching the characters, had become acquainted with a sporting Reverend, whose taste for giblets had proved rather expensive; and who was most desirous of appearing in print: a favor merry Stephen G.o.dson, the lawyer, requested might also be extended to him." "Ay," said John Portman, "and if you want a character for your foreground rich in colour, my phiz is much at your service; and here's George Brookes, the radical, to form a good dark object in the distance." In this way the evening pa.s.sed off very pleasantly. Our friend had made the object of our visit to the Bowling Alley known to some few of his intimates, circ.u.mstance that I have no doubt rather operated to prevent a display of some of those good-humoured eccentricities with which it is not unfrequently marked. Upon my return to town, I received a farewell ode from my Spirit in the Clouds, evidently written under a misconception that the English Spy was about to withdraw himself for a time, from his sketches on men and manners, when in fact, although his labours will here close with the completion of a Second Volume, his friends will find, that he is most desirous of still engaging their attentions in a new form, attended not only by all his former a.s.sociates, but uniting in his train the brightest and the merriest of all the choice Spirits of the Age.

BERNARD BLACKMANTLE TO HIS READERS.

To prevent a misconception, and do himself justice, the author of the English Spy feels it necessary to state, that in every instance the subjects for the Plates ill.u.s.trating this work have been furnished by his pen, and not unfrequently, the rough ideas have ~338~~first emanated from his own pencil; while he states this fact to prevent error, he is most anxious to acknowledge the great a.s.sistance he has derived from the inimitable humour and graphic skill in the execution of the designs, by his friend Robert Transit.

[Ill.u.s.tration: page338]

A SHORT ODE AT PARTING,

FROM HIS "SPIRIT IN THE CLOUDS"

TO THE ENGLISH SPY.

~339~~

Prospero. Now does my project gather to a head; My charms crack not; my spirits obey: ----How's the day?

Ariel. On the sixth hour; at which time, my lord, You said our work should cease.

--Shakspkare's Tempest.

So fare you well; I have left you commands.

Ibid.--As you like it.

"'Tis true, and pity 'tis, 'tis true,"

That though on fairest winds we flew, I in the clouds, beneath them you, We still must parted be;

And that, e'en whilst the world still hung On what you wrote, and what I sung, Enamour'd of our double tongue, Exits my Bernard B-----.

Well, all great actors must have pause, When toiling in a patriot cause, And ere another scene he draws, New characters to cast,

~340~~

Secure of having played his part, As nature dictates, from the heart, 'Tis fair before another start, He brush up from the last.

But how will humbugs of the age, (I don't mean Mr. B.'s dull page,) Crow that they scape satiric rage, And get off in whole skins;

How will dramatic fools rejoice!

No more is heard great Bernard's voice, And that, Heav'n knows, there is a choice, Their flummery begins.{1}

But go your ways; it may be wise, To let these puny, pestering flies Buzz about people's ears and eyes, A season or two longer;

There must be evil mixed with good, A bottom to the clearest flood, And let them stand where others stood, Till shown who is the stronger.

Then, fortune-hunting squires of Bath, Fine as the Burmese jewell'd Rath,{2} Pray totter o'er your Bond-street path, A respite short is yours.

1 I speak of would-be actors (male and female), vain and incompetent managers, flippant and unequal critics, puffed and translating authors, in short, of all before and behind the curtain who have injured, or may injuro, the legitimate drama. Let the theatres, like our trade, be free, and monopoly thrive not, and for their success the Spirit will ever pray; at present, it is "a mad world, my masters;" and I am afraid Mr. Rayner with his long and set speeches, as chairman of Thomas's Shakspeareans, will not mend the matter. We note this to him in a friendly way; seeing, that he is a worthy fellow, and a clever Caliban, and really loves Shakspeare next to Newmarket and Doncaster.