A Book of Strife in the Form of The Diary of an Old Soul Part 6

Still and anon, a loud clear voice doth call-- "Make your feet clean, and enter so the hall."

They hear, they stoop, they gather each a crumb.

Oh the deaf people! would they were also dumb!

Hear how they talk, and lack of Christ deplore, Stamping with muddy feet about the door, And will not wipe them clean to walk upon his floor!

18.

But see, one comes; he listens to the voice; Careful he wipes his weary dusty feet!

The voice hath spoken--to him is left no choice; He hurries to obey--that only is meet.

Low sinks the threshold, levelled with the ground; The man leaps in--to liberty he's bound.

The rest go talking, walking, picking round.

19.

If I, thus writing, rebuke my neighbour dull, And talk, and write, and enter not the door, Than all the rest I wrong Christ tenfold more, Making his gift of vision void and null.

Help me this day to be thy humble sheep, Eating thy gra.s.s, and following, thou before; From wolfish lies my life, O Shepherd, keep.

20.

G.o.d, help me, dull of heart, to trust in thee.

Thou art the father of me--not any mood Can part me from the One, the verily Good.

When fog and failure o'er my being brood.

When life looks but a glimmering marshy clod, No fire out flas.h.i.+ng from the living G.o.d-- Then, then, to rest in faith were worthy victory!

21.

To trust is gain and growth, not mere sown seed!

Faith heaves the world round to the heavenly dawn, In whose great light the soul doth spell and read Itself high-born, its being derived and drawn From the eternal self-existent fire; Then, mazed with joy of its own heavenly breed, Exultant-humble falls before its awful sire.

22.

Art thou not, Jesus, busy like to us?

Thee shall I image as one sitting still, Ordering all things in thy potent will, Silent, and thinking ever to thy father, Whose thought through thee flows mult.i.tudinous?

Or shall I think of thee as journeying, rather, Ceaseless through s.p.a.ce, because thou everything dost fill?

23.

That all things thou dost fill, I well may think-- Thy power doth reach me in so many ways.

Thou who in one the universe dost bind, Pa.s.sest through all the channels of my mind; The sun of thought, across the farthest brink Of consciousness thou sendest me thy rays; Nor drawest them in when lost in sleep I sink.

24.

So common are thy paths, thy coming seems Only another phase oft of my me; But nearer is my I, O Lord, to thee, Than is my I to what itself it deems; How better then couldst thou, O master, come, Than from thy home across into my home, Straight o'er the marches that I cannot see!

25.

Marches?--'Twixt thee and me there's no division, Except the meeting of thy will and mine, The loves that love, the wills that will the same.

Where thine meets mine is my life's true condition; Yea, only there it burns with any flame.

Thy will but holds me to my life's fruition.

O G.o.d, I would--I have no mine that is not thine.

26.

I look for thee, and do not see thee come.-- If I could see thee, 'twere a commoner thing, And shallower comfort would thy coming bring.

Earth, sea, and air lie round me moveless dumb, Never a tremble, an expectant hum, To tell the Lord of Hearts is drawing near: Lo! in the looking eyes, the looked for Lord is here.

27.

I take a comfort from my very badness: It is for lack of thee that I am bad.

How close, how infinitely closer yet Must I come to thee, ere I can pay one debt Which mere humanity has on me set!

"How close to thee!"--no wonder, soul, thou art glad!

Oneness with him is the eternal gladness.

28.

What can there be so close as making and made?

Nought twinned can be so near; thou art more nigh To me, my G.o.d, than is this thinking I To that I mean when I by me is said; Thou art more near me, than is my ready will Near to my love, though both one place do fill;-- Yet, till we are one,--Ah me! the long until!

29.

Then shall my heart behold thee everywhere.

The vision rises of a speechless thing, A perfectness of bliss beyond compare!

A time when I nor breathe nor think nor move, But I do breathe and think and feel thy love, The soul of all the songs the saints do sing!-- And life dies out in bliss, to come again in prayer.

30.

In the great glow of that great love, this death Would melt away like a fantastic cloud; I should no more shrink from it than from the breath That makes in the frosty air a nimbus-shroud; Thou, Love, hast conquered death, and I aloud Should triumph over him, with thy saintly crowd, That where the Lamb goes ever followeth.

MAY.

1.

WHAT though my words glance sideways from the thing Which I would utter in thine ear, my sire!

Truth in the inward parts thou dost desire-- Wise hunger, not a fitness fine of speech: The little child that clamouring fails to reach With upstretched hand the fringe of her attire, Yet meets the mother's hand down hurrying.

2.

Even when their foolish words they turned on him, He did not his disciples send away; He knew their hearts were foolish, eyes were dim, And therefore by his side needs must they stay.

Thou will not, Lord, send me away from thee.

When I am foolish, make thy c.o.c.k crow grim; If that is not enough, turn, Lord, and look on me.

3.

Another day of gloom and slanting rain!

Of closed skies, cold winds, and blight and bane!

Such not the weather, Lord, which thou art fain To give thy chosen, sweet to heart and brain!-- Until we mourn, thou keep'st the merry tune; Thy hand unloved its pleasure must restrain, Nor spoil both gift and child by lavis.h.i.+ng too soon.