Dead End Dating - Sucker for Love Part 27

"If I've got my hands full of Red Bull and Doritos," I pointed out, "how am I supposed to follow a demented sorcerer? Pu- lease. We're out in the middle of BFE and I'm wearing three-inch patent leather sling-backs. I'd definitely need a car."

"Not really. It's not that far-" Whack! Cheap's hand clamped over Cheaper's mouth and the rest came out like "mumhumwhamumwhemamum."

"What the h.e.l.l are you doing?" Cheap hissed. "You almost told her the location."

"I didn't tell her he's at-" Whack!

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph. You almost did it again. Just keep your mouth shut."

"Listen, fellas, I'd love to stand around and watch you guys play slap and tickle, but I've got a party waiting." I sidestepped them and headed across the street, all the while conscious of the two men behind me.

I strained my ears for the c.o.c.k of a gun or the slap of footsteps. They'd gotten the jump on me before, but only because I'd been distracted.

That wasn't going to happen again.

"Should we stop her?" Cheaper asked.

"From doing what? Merlin said to take her in if she interferes. So far, we haven 't caught her doing anything but spending money." That's right, boys.

But as pleased as I was to have avoided a ma.s.sive headache and Merlin's deadly finger, I was doubly upset because Cheaper was right-I hadn't been doing anything but shopping.

Certainly not finding or saving Esther.

And her time was running out.

I dropped off the supplies at the nail salon-Nina was getting rhinestone tips and Mandy was seriously considering retiring her uterus early. Particularly since my mom had decided to break her vow of silence when it came to her precious boys and share a very vivid description of the twenty-nine hours of h.e.l.l-aka labor-she'd endured to give birth to Jack.

She'd spilled it about the water retention and the fat ankles and the constant craving for pomegranate juice mixed with deer urine and gypsy blood.

When I got back to NYC, my bro was so not living that one down.

"Where have you been?" my mother demanded. "You left hours ago."

"I got lost."

"You've got vampire instincts, dear. That's better than a GPS."

"They were out of wine at the first store, so I had to keep looking until I found some."

"A box?" My mother eyeballed the Zinfandel I'd set on a nearby table.

I grinned. "You wanted to try new things."

"I was thinking more a cuc.u.mber face mask as opposed to my usual cinnamon and honey. Speaking of face masks "-she pinned DoraLee with a stare-"have you had any luck with the tomato and dill recipe that I downloaded off the Internet? " She smiled at Mandy. "I just know you'll love it. It's wonderful for your pores."

"But I'm allergic."

"Nonsense." My mother waved her newly done nails. "It only causes a reaction if you consume it. This is an external beauty treatment. It's totally safe."

I listened to my mom cite a few convincing testimonials from various Discovery Health episodes she'd watched on the subject, while the rest of her fellow Hunt Club sisters provided the occasional, "I saw that, too," and "Oh, that's so true."

"I've got a wine cellar," DeWalt announced after tasting the boxed Zinfandel. He held up his gla.s.s. "If any of you ladies are interested in something a little more palatable than this cardboard."

Go DeWalt.

A collective murmur went through the place and five minutes later, almost everyone had cleared out.

Did I mention that BVs went for a good Chardonnay as fiercely as a tasty O+?

The only ones left behind were Nina, yours truly and Mandy, who 'd promised to stay and try out the new tomato and dill concoction. My excuse? Somebody had to stay and make sure Mandy followed through.

"You're not really going to put that on your face?" I asked her once the place had emptied. "You aren't really going to make me, are you?" She flashed me a knowing grin before weariness crept across her expression.

"I'm actually kind of tired. With my days and nights so mixed up now that I'm off my normal routine, I've been feeling a little out of sorts. And your mom's been running me ragged. Don't get me wrong. I like spending time with her. I think it's good for us to get to know each other so well, but I'm dying to call it a night."

"I'll join you," Nina said.

"No more crying over Rob," I reminded her.

"Rob who?"

"Attagirl."

"You want to try the facial?" DoraLee held up a small plastic mixing bowl filled with red paste.

"I'll take a raincheck. But can I interest you in a suave, sophisticated single who enjoys Bingo and the occasional copy of Reader's Digest?"

"I'm not going out with Elmer."

What? I promised him I'd try.

"But my ma might," DoraLee added. "She's in her eighties now. Still has all her teeth and hates tapioca. Likes Bingo."

I smiled. "It's a date."

I parted ways with Nina and Mandy and headed for the Bigby place. Yeah, yeah-been there, done that. But I was out of options since the Quick Pick had closed for the night.

An hour ticked by as I walked the perimeter of the property and kept my eyes peeled for anything unusual. He had to be keeping her somewhere nearby. It was all about power and since he'd spent most of his time here, it only made sense that this would be the site for the ritual.

He'd probably offered up toads and cut the heads off a zillion chickens right there in the living room.

I was just about to peek through the window where the current residents were watching an episode of Trick My Truck when my cell phone started singing. I s.n.a.t.c.hed it up, noted my home number and punched the ON b.u.t.ton.

Play it cool, I told myself. Drop a few subtle hints about Nina and her condition and let Rob come to the conclusion on his own.

"Stop being a s.h.i.+t," I told Rob. What? I'd been thinking about Ty constantly since we'd called it quits. I was ent.i.tled to a little venting.

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you love Nina. Why can't you just tell her?"

"h.e.l.lo to you, too."

"I mean it. What is it with male vampires? You feel something, you should say so. We 're not friggin' mind readers. It's four letters, for Damien's sake."

"Nina and I split. It's over. I'm going my way and she's going hers." "So one of you changes direction."

"What if she doesn't want me?"

"What if she does?"

He grew silent for a long moment. "If you called to b.i.t.c.h me out, you can forget it."

"I didn't call you. You called me."

"Oh, yeah. I need clean sheets."

"Why do you need clean sheets? You sleep on the couch."

"Not tonight. I've got a date with the Tanner triplets." I could practically see him rubbing his hands together in antic.i.p.ation. I could also see the whiskey bottles he'd emptied to build up his courage.

"I figure it's time I moved on and got Nina out of my system completely," he said, his words slurring just enough to confirm my suspicions.

"You're drunk."

"I am not drunk." Which sounded more like drrrrrunkkk. "I'm perfectly capable of making a coherent decision"-make that dee-si-jun-"and I've decided I want to have s.e.x."

"Rebound s.e.x."

"One is rebound s.e.x. Three is empowering s.e.x."

More like greedy b.i.t.c.h s.e.x. Rob being the greedy b.i.t.c.h, of course.

"The couch won't be nearly big enough for everyone," Rob went on. "We have to use the bedroom."

"Oh, no, you don't. Listen to me and get this through your fogged brain, if you lay one finger on my bed, I 'll make sure you regret it."

"How's that? You're not exactly into bloodshed."

"I'll tell Dad that you loaned his chainsaw to Viola."

"That was you."

Oh, yeah. "It's your word against mine. He might believe me and he might not, but he 's sure to get really p.i.s.sed just contemplating the possibility. And you know what that means."

When my dad got mad, he became impossible to work for. He scaled back paychecks and vacation days and generally gave his managers h.e.l.l.

And Rob would be in his direct line of fire.

"You wouldn't."

"Are you really willing to chance it? Unless, of course, you don't need the fourteen days-all expenses paid-in Hawaii that he's planning on throwing in as part of his managers' compensation package next month."

"How do you know that?" "Mom's here and we're now BFFs."

"You're lying."

"See how easy it is for me?"

"Fine, then. I'll just go to a hotel. But it's your loss."

"How's that?"

"You'd have the honor of owning the bed that witnessed a triple conquest. Who knows, it might bring you a little luck in the sack."

"You really are a s.h.i.+t." I hit the OFF b.u.t.ton and called my oldest brother, Max. After a brief explanation and a "Get over there right now and I'll owe you for the rest of my afterlife," I hung up and fumed.

Rob was a dog. A total player. An inconsiderate one, at that. He wanted to deflower three women at once to prove his inebriated prowess and I was supposed to feel privileged that he chose my bed for the action?

Forget it. He could conquer triplets somewhere else.

Like, say, Miller's Creek.

The thought struck as I sat in the motel room just after midnight. Nina and Mandy had already crashed and my mom had yet to return from the wine fest at DeWalt's, so I had the bathroom to myself. I stared at the digital list on my phone of all the things I knew about Mordred.

He'd lived at the Bigby place.

He'd spent a lot of time in detention.

He'd dated the Homecoming Queen.

He'd deflowered the Homecoming Queen.

He'd deflowered the Homecoming Queen's sister.

He'd done them both in the backseat of his Chevy Impala while parked at Miller's Creek.

s.h.i.+t.

s.h.i.+t, s.h.i.+t, s.h.i.+t.

I bolted to my feet, s.n.a.t.c.hed up my purse and headed for the lobby to talk to Elmer.

"Cain't you read?" Elmer grumbled when I rang the bell for the tenth time and he finally emerged from the back room. "It says to come back later. That means after I finish watching Tyra Banks. I DVR'd her earlier today. Talk about a pretty gal."

"Sorry, Elmer, but it's an emergency."

"You hurt?" I shook my head and he grumbled, "Then it can wait till my show's over." He started to turn.