Dead End Dating - Sucker for Love Part 23

I waited for her to volunteer a little info, but when she kept her gaze trained on the screen, I knew I was going to have to ask.

Did he call? Did you tell him? Did he get mad?

"What's up?" I heard myself say. Did I cut to the chase or what? I flipped on a nearby lamp and a soft yellow glow pushed back the shadows. Then I kicked off my one remaining flat and said a silent prayer that the mate had found a good home with someone who appreciated it as much as yours truly. Maybe a one-legged fas.h.i.+onista.

"I'm just watching this old black-and-white movie."

"The TV is black-and-white. Every movie looks like that."

"Oh." She sniffled and took another swig of blood. "It's really good. See, there's this woman, Gwen, and she's in love with this guy, Rudolfo, but she thinks he's in love with his dead wife. He's the captain of this pirate s.h.i.+p and she's a nurse he picked up on one of his raids. He's ransoming her, but he doesn't really intend to take the money. He's going to give the money to Gwen so she can fulfill her dream and start her own hospital when she gets back to civilization. See, he's really in love with her and she's in love with him even though she thinks he's a s.h.i.+t for ransoming her. She thinks he's out for revenge because he hates her. See, she couldn't save his baby or his wife years ago during childbirth and so they died."

"And they don't just talk this out and avoid all the drama because ...?"

"There wouldn't be a movie if they did that."

"But they might actually be happy-"

"Shush." She waved me silent. "She's about to try to escape while the ransom is being paid."

I tossed my purse onto a nearby chair and was just about to collapse on the edge of the bed when my foot came up against something hard. I bent over to retrieve empty bottle number five.

"How many of these have you had?"

"How many did you bring?"

"Eight."

She glanced at the partially full bottle in her hand. "Seven and a half."

"You drank seven bottles of blood? In the last four hours?" She shrugged. "I couldn't help it. I woke up starved." She took another swig and my gaze hooked on the red heat sliding into her mouth.

I felt like the kid who's ice cream had melted before she'd had a chance to take a bite. "Those bottles were supposed to last me the duration of my trip."

"I'll buy you more."

"There's no place to buy bottled blood in Lonely Fork."

"We'll do takeout."

And what, pray tell, is vamp takeout? Picture a hot Italian stud showing up with a nice pulsing artery for the ordering vamp and a double cheese and pepperoni to replenish his own strength after the fact.

"No takeout either."

She shrugged again. "So go out and feed. What's the big deal?"

The big deal was that I didn't go out and feed. Not since I'd vowed to give up gratuitous s.e.x and hot, ravenous feeding to find my One and Only.

All right, so I'd sworn off the hot, ravenous part even before that. While I knew I wasn't consciously hurting anyone, I still felt a pang of guilt when I sank my fangs into some poor unsuspecting schmuck.

"You're too sensitive," Nina told me. "It's just dinner."

I watched her dab at her eyes. "I'm too sensitive?"

She sniffled and grabbed a Kleenex. "I may have overindulged just a teensy bit on the AB+."

I picked up another discarded bottle. "Geez, you think?"

"I'm eating for two now." She seemed to realize what she'd said and the tears started all over again. "I am eating for two," she blubbered. "I am so screwed."

"Babies are cute," I heard myself say. Like I knew. "Sweet. Cuddly." When she didn't seem convinced, I added, "Besides, you can find some really hot baby clothes these days." That got her attention. "Gwen Stefani has that entire line that she did for Kingston. And I saw Tom and Katie's baby wearing Baby Chanel in the last InStyle."

"Really?"

Not. But it sounded good and it was enough to slow the tears. "And Baby Gucci," I a.s.sured her. "You'll have the trendiest baby in New York."

"I will, won't I?" she asked as she handed over what was left in the last bottle of blood. "Maybe it won't be so bad."

"It'll be great. Now come on." I tugged her to her feet.

"Where are we going?"

"You're going to take a shower. It'll help clear your head." I led her into the bathroom and turned on the spray. "Relax and pull yourself together. I'll leave some clean clothes by the sink." I turned to leave while she peeled off her clothes.

"Lil." Her soft voice stopped me just outside the doorway. "Thanks." Before I could say anything, she stepped into the shower.

I walked back into the bedroom, s.n.a.t.c.hed up a tissue and wiped at my own suddenly misty eyes.

Sympathy tears.

That's what I told myself.

Nina's hormones were raging so mine were obviously joining the protest. I'm a vampire, after all. We lived by the three Nos: 1) no tears, 2) no compa.s.sion, 3) no polyester. No way was I crying because I was touched or because I 'd had a rotten night or because Esther was still missing or because I'd lost my stupid shoe.

And no friggin' way was I crying because Rudolfo let Gwen walk away after the ransom drop without ever telling her that he loved her. Sure, he told her about the hospital and that he didn't blame her for his dead wife and son. But he didn't say the word.

Because he was a clueless jerk, no doubt.

Well, that and the fact that there was still a good half hour left. The producers were obviously leaving that little tidbit until the very end.

Sure enough, Rudolfo redeemed himself and they all lived happily ever after.

I gushed all of five seconds before my stomach growled. I grabbed a few dollars out of my purse and headed down to the lobby. Elmer had his Come Back Later sign posted and the TV turned full blast. I listened to a few questions from Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (for the record, I definitely was) as I walked over to the small fridge. I stuffed a few dollars into the pickle jar and pulled out a Mountain Dew. It wasn't anywhere close to a Red Bull and vodka, but I was out of options. A sugar rush would have to do. I listened to a geography question as I guzzled the can and then grabbed another.

By the time I got back to the room, I was wired and seriously considering an appearance on national television. I 'd so nailed the question about Yellowstone National Park.

"Hey." Nina was sitting on the bed again. She wore my favorite Armani tee and a pair of yoga pants. She'd pulled her hair into a ponytail and her lips were glossy and slick with MAC Tahitian Sunrise.

"Somebody feels better."

"A shower was just what I needed." She indicated my cell on the nightstand. "Your phone was ringing so I picked it up. Evie said to tell you she fixed up Tabitha with some guy named Miller."

"You mean Milner?" I did a quick rifle through my mental file. "The manorexic English teacher from Queens?"

"Evie said he's not a manorexic. He's just thin because he's a vegan. He's also a fierce advocate for PETA, not that he included that on his profile. Evie just found that out tonight."

"What happened?"

"Tabitha was pressing her to meet Mr. Tall, Dark and Six Foot Two, and Milner met the height requirement. So Evie set up the date and sent them to Jack Hughey's."

"The steak place?"

Nina nodded and dread rolled through me. "It seems this guy Milner tried to rescue Tabitha's rib eye before she could cut into it. They ended up in a fist fight in the parking lot."

Why me? "Tabitha's fine," Nina went on. "Just a few cuts and bruises, but Milner was so weak from lack of proper nutrition that he couldn't really hold his own. He's got two broken ribs and a broken nose. And he had to have st.i.tches because Tabitha stabbed him with her steak knife when he tried to take the meat away from her."

Ouch.

"Evie said she tried to make peace with both of them. She bought Tabitha a members.h.i.+p to the Steak of the Month Club and sent a year's supply of Dietrim to Milner." At my arched eyebrow, she added, "They're the only diet supplement that doesn't experiment on animals. Anyhow. Tabitha's dead-set on talking to you now. Evie told her you were out of town, but that just made her all the more anxious. Evie wants you to call her ASAP."

I was starting to think my night couldn 't get any worse, when the faint scent of cherries jubilee and Chanel No. 5 wafted through the air and wrinkled my nose.

Nah.

No way.

Not no, but h.e.l.l no.

Denial raged through my head, followed by a jolt of panic when the click clack of expensive high heels thundered in my ear drums. The scent grew stronger and the doork.n.o.b trembled. I bolted to my feet, but it was too late. The door opened and there she was. My worst nightmare.

"Ma?"

I t was the sedative.

And the lack of sustenance.

And the stress.

All three were s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g with my brain waves and causing hallucinations. That 's what I told myself. But no amount of blinking (or praying) could make my mother disappear.

She was real and she was here and I was so screwed.

She stood there in the doorway looking as Vogue as ever in a gray Stella McCartney s.h.i.+ft dress and gray python Christian Louboutins. She carried an alligator bag that matched the eight suitcases stacked behind her and a smile so big and wide that it made my legs shake.

"I came as soon as you called," she declared, her voice shattering the steady PleaseG.o.dNo that echoed over and over in my head.

"But I didn't-"

"No, no, don't apologize for dragging me away from your father. Sure, he's this close to losing it completely and nuking our entire neighborhood with this homemade contraption he's been building, but he'll just have to blow himself up without me. As if a bomb is going to get rid of Viola. I keep telling him werewolves are like c.o.c.kroaches, but the man is obsessed. I 've got Remy keeping tabs on him for me, so I'm all yours. We think it's lovely of you to invite us down to share this experience."

"We?"

"Hi, Lil." Mandy picked her way past the luggage and came up next to my mother. "Thanks for inviting me."

"Inviting you?" Cut me some slack. We're talking my worst nightmare here.

"To partic.i.p.ate in your retreat," my mother said. "I've always wanted to focus on my inner strengths. Of course, we vamperes have both inner and outer strength and I don't really see the difference. But I'm always up for new challenges and experiences."

A pod person. That was the only explanation. In addition to the mult.i.tude of Others out there, there were also little green body s.n.a.t.c.hers.

"I can't wait to get started." She rubbed her hands together. "It's going to be magnificent." She slid an arm around Mandy's shoulders.

Seriously.

"The three of us together"-she gave Mandy a squeeze-"setting goals and overcoming our weaknesses." She released Mandy with an abruptness that sent her stumbling backward, and eyeballed me. "Speaking of which, you should really work on your att.i.tude, dear. Maybe tone down the pickiness. Otherwise, you'll never find a mate."

Lose the X-Files. Jacqueline was definitely present and accounted for.

"When Evie filled us in on all the fun you were having," my mother rushed on, "and how you wanted us to come down and join you on your little retreat, I called Mandy and had her take a few days off at the hospital. " She beamed. "And here we are." Her glance traveled around the room. "You're actually staying here?"

"I know it looks bad-" I started, but she cut me off.

"Where's the mini-bar?"

"No mini-bar." Abject horror lit her gaze and I couldn't help myself. "No Jacuzzi. No turn-down service. No concierge. No complimentary bottle of AB-or a nice, comfy coffin with an extra-thick pad." Those last two were only available at the Plaza, which was owned by Nina's father and, therefore, catered to the undead. But hey, I might as well lay it on extra thick, right?

She visibly swallowed and I gave myself a mental high five. This was it. She'd turn and hightail it back to Connecticut.

Or, at the very least, a five star hotel in Austin.

"Oh, well. That simply means fewer distractions." She cleared her throat. "We can devote our full attention to one another."

Talk about a great big fat sack of No.

"It's not too bad," Mandy offered. "You should have seen my dorm room back in college. Talk about pathetic."

"I can only imagine," my mother readily agreed.

"Besides," Mandy went on, "the desk clerk was nice and they do have snacks in the lobby."

"Wonderful." My mother turned to Mandy. "Why don't you run down and fetch me some Doritos and a few candy bars?"

"But Mother Marchette, you don't actually eat Doritos and candy bars," Mandy pointed out, and the vein in my mother's right temple started to throb. "Do you?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised what I eat, dear. And please call me Jacqueline. All my friends do."

"I don't really feel comfortable doing that." Mandy shook her head. "You're my elder, after all."

The vein swelled and threatened to explode. "How respectful of you," Jacqueline finally said, her words tight and controlled.