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(TARVER _enters through morning room in dinner jacket. He shows surprise at seeing_ SMITH. SMITH _replaces articles in his pockets_.)
TARVER. (_At door_ R.) Oh, I am so sorry. I didn't know you were engaged. I think I left my election speech somewhere.
CELIA. (_Eagerly coming down_ C.) That's quite all right, Bobby. We have finished our business. Good-bye, Colonel Vavasour. It is extremely kind of you to have taken all this trouble for a stranger.
(_Crosses down_ R. _as though to exit_.)
(TARVER _crosses to cabinet_ L. _and gets his speech_.)
SMITH. (_Follows_ CELIA _to_ L.C.) But I haven't delivered a single word of the message I am pledged to deliver.
TARVER. (_Picks up speech and comes down_ L. _of table to_ L. _of_ SMITH) I'm just going.
SMITH. Don't let me drive you away, Mr.--Mr.---- (_Looks to_ CELIA _to introduce him to_ TARVER.)
(CELIA _has turned and walked up stage_.)
TARVER. Oh, my name is Tarver.
SMITH. And mine is Nugent Vavasour. How do you do? I am delighted to make your acquaintance. (_Shakes hands with him warmly_.) I have just met Miss Phyllis Faraday.
TARVER. Oh, have you?
SMITH. Yes. I am just back from Somaliland.
TARVER. Are you? I say! I don't suppose you could stay a little longer and help me with my election, could you?
(CELIA, _in alarm, rushes to head of table and seizes railway guide_.)
SMITH. (_Enthusiastically_) Of course I could, my dear fellow. Why didn't you mention it before?
TARVER. Well, I haven't waited _very_ long.
CELIA. (_Looking at railway guide_) Bobby, we couldn't think of making such a demand upon Colonel Vavasour's time.
TARVER. Well, it's touch and go with me, you know.
SMITH. And I know a great deal about elections.
TARVER. (_To_ CELIA) There!
SMITH. Yes. I was once on the Committee of a Club.
(TARVER _looks puzzled_.)
CELIA. (_Looking at guide. Firmly_) There's an excellent train leaving at eight-thirty. (_Lays down guide, pushes chair aside and walks down_ R.C. _between chair and table_.)
SMITH. I shall be most happy if I can catch it, but I should be false to my friend if I went without delivering his last dying message.
TARVER. You can't deliver it to-night, for Celia is going out to a dinner party.
(CELIA _gives_ BOBBY _a swift, furious glance behind_ SMITH'S _back_.)
SMITH. (_Shocked_) To a dinner party?
TARVER. Why, yes, and on to a concert afterwards.
CELIA. (_With great dignity_) It's a cla.s.sical concert. (_Pause_.) By the local Philharmonic Society, and Admiral Grice, with whom we are all dining, is the most important person in the const.i.tuency.
SMITH. (_Sternly_) So you are all going out to enjoy yourselves.
TARVER. (_Crossing_ R. _and up stage_) Oh, _they_ are. Phyllis and I for once are going to stay at home and dine quietly.
SMITH. (_Turns toward_ TARVER _and stops him at door_) But is it wise for you, Mr. Tarver, to stay at home at this very critical time? I should have thought, knowing as much as I do about elections, that it was bad policy to offend so important a person as Admiral Grice.
TARVER. (_In doorway_) Oh, that's all right. Celia can twist him around her little finger. He simply wors.h.i.+ps----
(CELIA, _who has made a ball of the tissue paper on the table, throws it at_ BOBBY, _who exits hurriedly without_ SMITH'S _seeing this_.)
SMITH. (_Sternly. Going to her_) You never loved him.
CELIA. (_Indignantly. Moving_ R.) Oh!
SMITH. On the evening of the very day which brings you news of his decease, you are dressed to conquer and allure.
CELIA. (_More indignant_) Colonel Vavasour!
SMITH. You know as well as I do how at all times Smith disapproved of a decollete gown. Born and brought up in a rigid and unbending family, he never quite emanc.i.p.ated himself from the principles of Calvinism.
You know that? (_He waits for her to answer_.)
CELIA. (_Weakly. Sinks on stool at bottom of sofa_) Yes.
SMITH. (_Looks at her_) And it's not even black--! A dinner party with an amorous Admiral. After the dinner party, the wildest gaieties!
(_Goes_ L.)
CELIA. Do you call a cla.s.sical concert by the local Philharmonic Society "the wildest gaiety"? You never heard one.
SMITH. (_Reproachfully. Coming back to_ CELIA) You know what a low opinion Smith had of all forms of music. Dangerously sensuous. How often have I heard him breathe those words when the regimental band struck up the tune of "Auld Lang Syne." (_She rises; goes_ R.) You never loved him. Give me back the watch and chain.
