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"No;--not now."
"You needn't. Why won't you be as honest to me? If you hate me, say so;--but if you love me--!"
"I do not hate you, Lord Silverbridge."
"And is that all?"
"You asked me the question."
"But you do love me? By George, I thought you would be more honest and straightforward."
Then she dropped her badinage and answered him seriously. "I thought I had been honest and straightforward. When I found that you were in earnest at Killancodlem--"
"Why did you ever doubt me?"
"When I felt that you were in earnest, then I had to be in earnest too. And I thought so much about it that I lay awake nearly all that night. Shall I tell you what I thought?"
"Tell me something that I should like to hear."
"I will tell you the truth. 'Is it possible,' I said to myself, 'that such a man as that can want me to be his wife; he an Englishman, of the highest rank and the greatest wealth, and one that any girl in the world would love?'"
"Psha!" he exclaimed.
"That is what I said to myself." Then she paused, and looking into her face he saw that there was a glimmer of a tear in each eye. "One that any girl must love when asked for her love;--because he is so sweet, so good, and so pleasant."
"I know that you are chaffing."
"Then I went on asking myself questions. And is it possible that I, who by all his friends will be regarded as a n.o.body, who am an American,--with merely human workaday blood in my veins,--that such a one as I should become his wife? Then I told myself that it was not possible. It was not in accordance with the fitness of things. All the dukes in England would rise up against it, and especially that duke whose good-will would be imperative."
"Why should he rise up against it?"
"You know he will. But I will go on with my story of myself. When I had settled that in my mind, I just cried myself to sleep. It had been a dream. I had come across one who in his own self seemed to combine all that I had ever thought of as being lovable in a man--"
"Isabel!"
"And in his outward circ.u.mstances soared as much above my thoughts as the heaven is above the earth. And he had whispered to me soft, loving, heavenly words. No;--no, you shall not touch me. But you shall listen to me. In my sleep I could be happy again and not see the barriers. But when I woke I made up my mind. 'If he comes to me again,' I said--'if it should be that he should come to me again, I will tell him that he shall be my heaven on earth,--if,--if,--if the ill-will of his friends would not make that heaven a h.e.l.l to both of us.' I did not tell you quite all that."
"You told me nothing but that I was to come again in three months."
"I said more than that. I bade you ask your father. Now you have come again. You cannot understand a girl's fears and doubts. How should you? I thought perhaps you would not come. When I saw you whispering to that highly-born well-bred beauty, and remembered what I was myself, I thought that--you would not come."
"Then you must love me."
"Love you! Oh, my darling!--No, no, no," she said, as she retreated from him round the corner of the billiard-table, and stood guarding herself from him with her little hands. "You ask if I love you. You are ent.i.tled to know the truth. From the sole of your foot to the crown of your head I love you as I think a man would wish to be loved by the girl he loves. You have come across my life, and have swallowed me up, and made me all your own. But I will not marry you to be rejected by your people. No; nor shall there be a kiss between us till I know that it will not be so."
"May I speak to your father?"
"For what good? I have not spoken to father or mother because I have known that it must depend upon your father. Lord Silverbridge, if he will tell me that I shall be his daughter, I will become your wife,--oh, with such perfect joy, with such perfect truth! If it can never be so, then let us be torn apart,--with whatever struggle, still at once. In that case I will get myself back to my own country as best I may, and will pray to G.o.d that all this may be forgotten."
Then she made her way round to the door, leaving him fixed to the spot in which she had been standing. But as she went she made a little prayer to him. "Do not delay my fate. It is all in all to me."
And so he was left alone in the billiard-room.
CHAPTER LIII
"Then I Am As Proud As a Queen"
During the next day or two the shooting went on without much interruption from love-making. The love-making was not prosperous all round. Poor Lady Mary had nothing to comfort her. Could she have been allowed to see the letter which her lover had written to her father, the comfort would have been, if not ample, still very great. Mary told herself again and again that she was quite sure of Tregear;--but it was hard upon her that she could not be made certain that her certainty was well grounded. Had she known that Tregear had written, though she had not seen a word of his letter, it would have comforted her. But she had heard nothing of the letter. In June last she had seen him, by chance, for a few minutes, in Lady Mabel's drawing-room.
Since that she had not heard from him or of him. That was now more than five months since. How could her love serve her,--how could her very life serve her, if things were to go on like that? How was she to bear it? Thinking of this she resolved--she almost resolved--that she would go boldly to her father and desire that she might be given up to her lover.
Her brother, though more triumphant,--for how could he fail to triumph after such words as Isabel had spoken to him?--still felt his difficulties very seriously. She had imbued him with a strong sense of her own firmness, and she had declared that she would go away and leave him altogether if the Duke should be unwilling to receive her.
He knew that the Duke would be unwilling. The Duke, who certainly was not handy in those duties of match-making which seemed to have fallen upon him at the death of his wife, showed by a hundred little signs his anxiety that his son and heir should arrange his affairs with Lady Mabel. These signs were manifest to Mary,--were disagreeably manifest to Silverbridge,--were unfortunately manifest to Lady Mabel herself. They were manifest to Mrs. Finn, who was clever enough to perceive that the inclinations of the young heir were turned in another direction. And gradually they became manifest to Isabel Bonca.s.sen. The host himself, as host, was courteous to all his guests. They had been of his own selection, and he did his best to make himself pleasant to them all. But he selected two for his peculiar notice,--and those two were Miss Bonca.s.sen and Lady Mabel.
While he would himself walk, and talk, and argue after his own peculiar fas.h.i.+on with the American beauty,--explaining to her matters political and social, till he persuaded her to promise to read his pamphlet upon decimal coinage,--he was always making awkward efforts to throw Silverbridge and Lady Mabel together. The two girls saw it all and knew well how the matter was,--knew that they were rivals, and knew each the ground on which she herself and on which the other stood. But neither was satisfied with her advantage, or nearly satisfied. Isabel would not take the prize without the Duke's consent;--and Mabel could not have it without that other consent. "If you want to marry an English Duke," she once said to Isabel in that anger which she was unable to restrain, "there is the Duke himself. I never saw a man more absolutely in love." "But I do not want to marry an English Duke," said Isabel, "and I pity any girl who has any idea of marriage except that which comes from a wish to give back love for love."
Through it all the father never suspected the real state of his son's mind. He was too simple to think it possible that the purpose which Silverbridge had declared to him as they walked together from the Beargarden had already been thrown to the winds. He did not like to ask why the thing was not settled. Young men, he thought, were sometimes shy, and young ladies not always ready to give immediate encouragement. But, when he saw them together, he concluded that matters were going in the right direction. It was, however, an opinion which he had all to himself.
During the three or four days which followed the scene in the billiard-room Isabel kept herself out of her lover's way. She had explained to him that which she wished him to do, and she left him to do it. Day by day she watched the circ.u.mstances of the life around her, and knew that it had not been done. She was sure that it could not have been done while the Duke was explaining to her the beauty of quints, and expatiating on the horrors of twelve pennies, and twelve inches, and twelve ounces,--variegated in some matters by sixteen and fourteen! He could not know that she was ambitious of becoming his daughter-in-law, while he was opening out to her the mysteries of the House of Lords, and explaining how it came to pa.s.s that while he was a member of one House of Parliament, his son should be sitting as a member of another;--how it was that a n.o.bleman could be a commoner, and how a peer of one part of the Empire could sit as the representative of a borough in another part. She was an apt scholar.
Had there been a question of any other young man marrying her, he would probably have thought that no other young man could have done better.
Silverbridge was discontented with himself. The greatest misfortune was that Lady Mabel should be there. While she was present to his father's eyes he did not know how to declare his altered wishes.
Every now and then she would say to him some little word indicating her feelings of the absurdity of his pa.s.sion. "I declare I don't know whether it is you or your father that Miss Bonca.s.sen most affects,"
she said. But to this and to other similar speeches he would make no answer. She had extracted his secret from him at Killancodlem, and might use it against him if she pleased. In his present frame of mind he was not disposed to joke with her upon the subject.
On that second Sunday,--the Bonca.s.sens were to return to London on the following Tuesday,--he found himself alone with Isabel's father.
The American had been brought out at his own request to see the stables, and had been accompanied round the premises by Silverbridge and by Mr. Warburton, by Isabel and by Lady Mary. As they got out into the park the party were divided, and Silverbridge found himself with Mr. Bonca.s.sen. Then it occurred to him that the proper thing for a young man in love was to go, not to his own father, but to the lady's father. Why should not he do as others always did? Isabel no doubt had suggested a different course. But that which Isabel had suggested was at the present moment impossible to him. Now, at this instant, without a moment's forethought, he determined to tell his story to Isabel's father,--as any other lover might tell it to any other father.
"I am very glad to find ourselves alone, Mr. Bonca.s.sen," he said. Mr.
Bonca.s.sen bowed and showed himself prepared to listen. Though so many at Matching had seen the whole play, Mr. Bonca.s.sen had seen nothing of it.
"I don't know whether you are aware of what I have got to say."
"I cannot quite say that I am, my Lord. But whatever it is, I am sure I shall be delighted to hear it."
"I want to marry your daughter," said Silverbridge. Isabel had told him that he was downright, and in such a matter he had hardly as yet learned how to express himself with those paraphrases in which the world delights. Mr. Bonca.s.sen stood stock still, and in the excitement of the moment pulled off his hat. "The proper thing is to ask your permission to go on with it."
"You want to marry my daughter!"
"Yes. That is what I have got to say."
"Is she aware of your--intention?"
"Quite aware. I believe I may say that if other things go straight, she will consent."
"And your father--the Duke?"
"He knows nothing about it,--as yet."