The Duke's Children - LightNovelsOnl.com
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"And you have taken the trouble to come here to tell me that,--to wound me to the core by saying so; to show me that, though I may still be sick, you have recovered,--that is if you ever suffered! Go your way and let me go mine. I do not want you."
"Mabel!"
"I do not want you. I know you will not help me, but you need not destroy me."
"You know that you are wronging me."
"No! You understand it all though you look so calm. I hate your Lady Mary Palliser. There! But if by anything I could do I could secure her to you I would do it,--because you want it."
"She will be your sister-in-law,--probably."
"Never. It will never be so."
"Why do you hate her?"
"There again! You are so little of a man that you can ask me why!"
Then she turned away as though she intended to go down to the marge of the lake.
But he rose up and stopped her. "Let us have this out, Mabel, before we go," he said. "Unmanly is a heavy word to hear from you, and you have used it a dozen times."
"It is because I have thought it a thousand times. Go and get her if you can;--but why tell me about it?"
"You said you would help me."
"So I would, as I would help you do anything you might want; but you can hardly think that after what has pa.s.sed I can wish to hear about her."
"It was you spoke of her."
"I told you you should not be here,--because of her and because of me. And I tell you again, I hate her. Do you think I can hear you speak of her as though she were the only woman you had ever seen without feeling it? Did you ever swear that you loved any one else?"
"Certainly, I have so sworn."
"Have you ever said that nothing could alter that love?"
"Indeed I have."
"But it is altered. It has all gone. It has been transferred to one who has more advantages of beauty, youth, wealth, and position."
"Oh Mabel, Mabel!"
"But it is so."
"When you say this do you not think of yourself?"
"Yes. But I have never been false to any one. You are false to me."
"Have I not offered to face all the world with you?"
"You would not offer it now?"
"No," he said, after a pause,--"not now. Were I to do so, I should be false. You bade me take my love elsewhere, and I did so."
"With the greatest ease."
"We agreed it should be so; and you have done the same."
"That is false. Look me in the face and tell me whether you do not know it to be false!"
"And yet I am told that I am injuring you with Silverbridge."
"Oh,--so unmanly again! Of course I have to marry. Who does not know it? Do you want to see me begging my bread about the streets? You have bread; or if not, you might earn it. If you marry for money--"
"The accusation is altogether unjustifiable."
"Allow me to finish what I have to say. If you marry for money you will do that which is in itself bad, and which is also unnecessary.
What other course would you recommend me to take? No one goes into the gutter while there is a clean path open. If there be no escape but through the gutter, one has to take it."
"You mean that my duty to you should have kept me from marrying all my life."
"Not that;--but a little while, Frank; just a little while. Your bloom is not fading; your charms are not running from you. Have you not a strength which I cannot have? Do you not feel that you are a tree, standing firm in the ground, while I am a bit of ivy that will be trodden in the dirt unless it can be made to cling to something?
You should not liken yourself to me, Frank."
"If I could do you any good!"
"Good! What is the meaning of good? If you love, it is good to be loved again. It is good not to have your heart torn in pieces. You know that I love you." He was standing close to her, and put out his hand as though he would twine his arm round her waist. "Not for worlds," she said. "It belongs to that Palliser girl. And as I have taught myself to think that what there is left of me may perhaps belong to some other one, worthless as it is, I will keep it for him.
I love you,--but there can be none of that softness of love between us." Then there was a pause, but as he did not speak she went on.
"But remember, Frank,--our position is not equal. You have got over your little complaint. It probably did not go deep with you, and you have found a cure. Perhaps there is a satisfaction in finding that two young women love you."
"You are trying to be cruel to me."
"Why else should you be here? You know I love you,--with all my heart, with all my strength, and that I would give the world to cure myself. Knowing this, you come and talk to me of your pa.s.sion for this other girl."
"I had hoped we might both talk rationally as friends."
"Friends! Frank Tregear, I have been bold enough to tell you I love you; but you are not my friend, and cannot be my friend. If I have before asked you to help me in this mean catastrophe of mine, in my attack upon that poor boy, I withdraw my request. I think I will go back to the house now."
"I will walk back to Ledburgh if you wish it without going to the house again."
"No; I will have nothing that looks like being ashamed. You ought not to have come, but you need not run away." Then they walked back to the house together and found Miss Ca.s.sewary on the terrace. "We have been to the lake," said Mabel, "and have been talking of old days.
I have but one ambition now in the world." Of course Miss Ca.s.sewary asked what the remaining ambition was. "To get money enough to purchase this place from the ruins of the Grex property. If I could own the house and the lake, and the paddocks about, and had enough income to keep one servant and bread for us to eat--of course including you, Miss Ca.s.s--"
"Thank'ee, my dear; but I am not sure I should like it."
"Yes; you would. Frank would come and see us perhaps once a year. I don't suppose anybody else cares about the place, but to me it is the dearest spot in the world." So she went on in almost high spirits, though alluding to the general decadence of the Grex family, till Tregear took his leave.
"I wish he had not come," said Miss Ca.s.sewary when he was gone.
"Why should you wish that? There is not so much here to amuse me that you should begrudge me a stray visitor."