Gold Dust Part 12

They are not all there--our dead--buried in the churchyard, beneath the grave, o'ershadowed by a cross, and round which the roses bloom.

There are others which nothing can recall; they are things which belong to the _heart_ alone, and there alas! have found a tomb.

Peace surrounds me to-day; and here in my lone chamber I will invoke them, my much-loved dead. Come!

The first that present themselves are _the sweet years of childhood_, so fresh, so guileless, so happy.

They were made up of loving caresses, bountiful rewards, and fearless confidence: the words, _pain_, _danger_, _care_, were unknown; they brought me simple pleasures, happy days without a thought for the morrow, and only required from me a little obedience.

Alas! they are dead ... and what numberless things have they carried with them! What a void they have left!

Candor, lightheartedness, simplicity, no longer find a place within!

Family ties, so true, so wide, so light, have all vanished!

The homely hearth, the simple reward earned by the day's industry, maternal chidings, forgiveness so ingenuously sought, so freely given, promises of amendment, so sincere, so joyously received.... Is this all gone forever? can I never recall them?

The vision that follows is that of my _early piety_, simple and full of faith, which was as some good angel o'ershadowing me with its snowy wings, and showing me G.o.d everywhere, in all, and with all.

The good G.o.d, Who each day provides my daily bread!

The G.o.d, Who spared my mother in sickness, and relieved her when she suffered--G.o.d, Who s.h.i.+elded me from harm when I did right!

The G.o.d, Who sees all, knows all, and is Omnipotent, Whom I loved with all my heart.

Alas! faithful, simple piety, thou art dead; in innocence alone couldst thou live!

Next comes _the love of my earliest years_. Love in childhood, love in youth, so full of true, simple joy, that initiated me in the sweet pleasure of devotion, that taught me self-denial in order to give pleasure, that destroyed all egotism, by showing me the happiness of living for others.

Love of my childhood, love of my youth, so pure, so holy, on which I always reckoned when they spoke to me of trouble, loneliness, depression ... thou also art dead.

An involuntary coolness, an unfounded suspicion never cleared, an ill-natured story ... all these have destroyed that child of Heaven. I knew it was tender, and I cherished it, but I could not believe it to be so frail.

I could make a long list of all the dead enshrined in my heart! Oh, you who are still young, upon whom G.o.d has lavished all the gifts that are lost to me,--candor, simplicity, innocence, love, devotion ... guard, oh, guard these treasures, and that they may never die, place them beneath the shelter of _Prayer_.

IV.

THE SPIRITUAL LIFE

What a sweet life is that! The maintaining, strengthening it, has a softening influence; and it is a labor that never wearies, never deceives, but gives each day fresh cause for joy.

In the language of devotion, it is called the _interior life_; and it is our purpose to point out minutely its nature, excellence, means, and hindrances.

Let no one think the interior life is incompatible with the life domestic and social, which is often so engrossing; just as the action of the heart maintained by the constant flow of blood in no way affects the outward movements, so is it with the life of the soul, which consists chiefly in the action of G.o.d'S HOLY SPIRIT within, that never hinders our social duties, but on the contrary is a help towards fulfilling them more calmly, more perfectly.

NATURE OF THE INTERIOR LIFE

The interior life is an abiding sense of G.o.d'S Presence, a constant union with Him.

We learn to look upon the heart as the temple where G.o.d dwells, sometimes glorious as above, sometimes hidden as in the Holy Eucharist; and we act, think, speak, and fulfil all our duties, as in His Presence.

Its aim is to shun sin, and cultivate a detachment from all earthly things by a spirit of poverty; sensual pleasures by purity and mortification; pride by humility; dissipation by recollection.

As a rule, people are prejudiced against an interior life. Some are afraid of it, and look upon it as a life of bondage, sacrifice, and restraint: others despise it, as nothing but a multiplicity of trifling rules, tending only to narrow-mindedness and uselessness, and fit only for weak minds. In consequence they are on their guard against it, and avoid the books that treat of it.

They would serve G.o.d no doubt, but they will not subject themselves to the entire guidance of His Spirit; in short, it is far easier to bring a soul from a state of sin to that of grace, than it is to lead a busy, active, zealous person to the hidden, contemplative life of the soul.

EXCELLENCE OF THE INTERIOR LIFE

G.o.d dwelling within us, the life of CHRIST Himself, when on earth, living always in His FATHER'S Presence.

It is the life of which S. Paul speaks when he says, "nevertheless I live; yet not I, but CHRIST liveth in me."

All saints must lead this life, and their degree of holiness is in proportion to the perfection of their union with G.o.d.

CHRIST animates their souls, even as the soul animates the body.

They own CHRIST as Master, Counsellor, and Guide; and nothing is done without submitting it to Him, and imploring His aid and approval.

CHRIST is their strength, their refuge, their defender.

They live in constant dependence upon Him, as their Father, Protector, and all-powerful King.

They are drawn to Him, as the child is drawn by love, the poor by need.

They let themselves be guided by Him, as the blind let themselves be led by the child in whom they confide; they bear all suffering that comes from Him, as the sick, in order to be healed, bear suffering at the hands of a physician; and they lean on Him, as the child leans on its mother's breast.

It lifts them above the troubles and miseries of life; the whole world may seem a prey to calamities; themselves, deprived of their goods through injustice or accident; they lose their relations through death, their friends through treachery or forgetfulness, their reputation and honor from slander, a serious illness deprives them of health, their happiness is destroyed by hardness and temptations.... Ah! no doubt, they will have these trials, no doubt they must shed bitter tears, but still G.o.d'S peace will remain to them, the peace that pa.s.seth all understanding; they will realize G.o.d has ordered it, guided it with His Hand Divine, and they will be able to exclaim with joy, "Thou art left to us, and Thou art all-sufficient!"

ACTS OF THE INTERIOR LIFE

1. _See G.o.d_, that is to say, be always realizing His Presence, feeling Him near, as the friend from Whom we would never be separated, in work, in prayer, in recreation, in repose. G.o.d is not importunate, He never wearies, He is so gracious and merciful, His Hand directs everything, and He will not "suffer us to be tempted above that we are able."

2. _Listen to G.o.d_: be attentive to His counsels, His warnings; we hear His Voice in those Gospel words that recur to our minds, in the good thoughts that suddenly dawn on us, the devout words that meet us in some book, on a sheet of paper, or falling from the lips of a preacher, a friend, or even a stranger.

3. _Speak to G.o.d_: hold converse with Him, more with the heart than the lips, in the early morning's meditation, ejaculatory prayer, vocal prayer, and above all in Holy Communion.

4. _Love G.o.d_: be devoted to Him, and Him alone; have no affection apart from Him; restrain the love that would estrange us from Him; _lend_ ourselves to all, out of love to Him, but _give_ ourselves to Him alone.

5. _Think of G.o.d_: reject whatever excludes the thought of Him. Of course, we must fulfil our daily duties, accomplis.h.i.+ng them with all the perfection of which we are capable; but they must be done as beneath the Eye of G.o.d, with the thought that G.o.d has commanded them, and that to do them carefully is pleasing in His sight.