Modern Prose And Poetry; For Secondary Schools Part 34

I THINK I have discovered the way to keep peas from the birds.

I tried the scarecrow plan, in a way which I thought would outwit the shrewdest bird. The brain of the bird is not large; but it is all concentrated on one object, and that is the attempt to elude the devices of modern civilization which injure his chances of food. I knew that, if I put up a complete stuffed man, the bird would detect the imitation at once; the perfection of the thing would show him that it was a trick.

People always overdo the matter when they attempt deception. I therefore hung some loose garments, of a bright color, upon a rake-head, and set them up among the vines. The supposition was, that the bird would think there was an effort to trap him, that there was a man behind, holding up these garments, and would sing, as he kept at a distance, "You can't catch me with any such double device." The bird would know, or think he knew, that I would not hang up such a scare, in the expectation that it would pa.s.s for a man, and deceive a bird; and he would therefore look for a deeper plot. I expected to outwit the bird by a duplicity that was simplicity itself. I may have over-calculated the sagacity and reasoning power of the bird. At any rate, I did over-calculate the amount of peas I should gather.

But my game was only half played. In another part of the garden were other peas, growing and blowing. To these I took good care not to attract the attention of the bird by any scarecrow whatever! I left the old scarecrow conspicuously flaunting above the old vines; and by this means I hope to keep the attention of the birds confined to that side of the garden. I am convinced that this is the true use of a scarecrow: it is a lure, and not a warning. If you wish to save men from any particular vice, set up a tremendous cry of warning about some other, and they will all give their special efforts to the one to which attention is called. This profound truth is about the only thing I have yet realized out of my pea-vines.

However, the garden does begin to yield. I know of nothing that makes one feel more complacent, in these July days, than to have his vegetables from his own garden. What an effect it has on the market-man and the butcher! It is a kind of declaration of independence. The market-man shows me his peas and beets and tomatoes, and supposes he shall send me out some with the meat. "No, I thank you," I say carelessly: "I am raising my own this year." Whereas I have been wont to remark, "Your vegetables look a little wilted this weather," I now say, "What a fine lot of vegetables you've got!" When a man is not going to buy, he can afford to be generous. To raise his own vegetables makes a person feel, somehow, more liberal. I think the butcher is touched by the influence, and cuts off a better roast for me. The butcher is my friend when he sees that I am not wholly dependent on him.

It is at home, however, that the effect is most marked, though sometimes in a way that I had not expected. I have never read of any Roman supper that seemed to me equal to a dinner of my own vegetables, when everything on the table is the product of my own labor, except the clams, which I have not been able to raise yet, and the chickens, which have withdrawn from the garden just when they were most attractive. It is strange what a taste you suddenly have for things you never liked before. The squash has always been to me a dish of contempt; but I eat it now as if it were my best friend. I never cared for the beet or the bean; but I fancy now that I could eat them all, tops and all, so completely have they been transformed by the soil in which they grew. I think the squash is less squashy, and the beet has a deeper hue of rose, for my care of them.

I had begun to nurse a good deal of pride in presiding over a table whereon was the fruit of my honest industry. But woman!--John Stuart Mill is right when he says that we do not know anything about women. Six thousand years is as one day with them. I thought I had something to do with those vegetables.

But when I saw Polly seated at her side of the table, presiding over the new and susceptible vegetables, flanked by the squash and the beans, and smiling upon the green corn and the new potatoes, as cool as the cuc.u.mbers which lay sliced in ice before her, and when she began to dispense the fresh dishes, I saw at once that the day of my destiny was over. You would have thought that she owned all the vegetables, and had raised them all from their earliest years. Such quiet, vegetable airs!

Such gracious appropriation!

At length I said,--

"Polly, do you know who planted that squash, or those squashes?"

"James, I suppose."

"Well, yes, perhaps James did plant them to a certain extent. But who hoed them?"

"We did."

"_We_ did!" I said in the most sarcastic manner. "And I suppose _we_ put on the sackcloth and ashes, when the striped bug came at four o'clock, A.M., and we watched the tender leaves, and watered night and morning the feeble plants. I tell you, Polly," said I, uncorking the Bordeaux raspberry vinegar, "there is not a pea here that does not represent a drop of moisture wrung from my brow, not a beet that does not stand for a backache, not a squash that has not caused me untold anxiety, and I did hope--but I will say no more."

_Observation._--In this sort of family discussion, "I will say no more"

is the most effective thing you can close up with.

I am not an alarmist. I hope I am as cool as anybody this hot summer.

But I am quite ready to say to Polly or any other woman, "You can have the ballot; only leave me the vegetables, or, what is more important, the consciousness of power in vegetables." I see how it is. Woman is now supreme in the house. She already stretches out her hand to grasp the garden. She will gradually control everything. Woman is one of the ablest and most cunning creatures who have ever mingled in human affairs. I understand those women who say they don't want the ballot.

They purpose to hold the real power while we go through the mockery of making laws. They want the power without the responsibility. (Suppose my squash had not come up, or my beans--as they threatened at one time--had gone the wrong way: where would I have been?) We are to be held to all the responsibilities. Woman takes the lead in all the departments, leaving us politics only. And what is politics? Let me raise the vegetables of a nation, says Polly, and I care not who makes its politics. Here I sat at the table, armed with the ballot, but really powerless among my own vegetables. While we are being amused by the ballot, woman is quietly taking things into her own hands.

NOTES

=comparative philology=:--The comparison of words from different languages, for the purpose of seeing what relations.h.i.+ps can be found.

=protoplasm=:--"The physical basis of life"; the substance which pa.s.ses life on from one vegetable or animal to another.

=attic salt=:--The delicate wit of the Athenians, who lived in the state of Attica, in Greece.

=parvenu=:--A French word meaning an upstart who tries to force himself into good society.

=Aaron's rod=:--See Numbers, 17:1-10.

=Bacchus and Venus=:--Bacchus was the Greek G.o.d of wine; Venus was the Greek G.o.ddess of love.

=Darwinian theory=:--Charles R. Darwin (1809-1882) was a great English scientist who proved that the higher forms of life have developed from the lower.

=natural selection=:--One of Darwin's theories, to the effect that nature weeds out the weak and unfit, leaving the others to continue the species; the result is called "the survival of the fittest."

=steal a while away=:--A quotation from a well known hymn beginning,--

I love to steal a while away From every c.u.mbering care.

It was written in 1829, by Deodatus Dutton.

=Roman supper=:--The Romans were noted for the extravagance of their evening meals, at which all sorts of delicacies were served.

=John Stuart Mill=:--An English philosopher (1806-1873). He wrote about theories of government.

=Polly=:--The author's wife.

=the day of my destiny=:--A quotation from Lord Byron's poem, _Stanzas to Augusta_ [his sister]. The lines run:--

Though the day of my destiny's over, And the star of my fate hath declined, Thy soft heart refused to discover The faults that so many could find.

=sack-cloth and ashes=:--In old Jewish times, a sign of grief or mourning. See Esther, 4:1; Isaiah, 58:5.

=Bordeaux=:--A province in France noted for its wine.

QUESTIONS FOR STUDY

The author is writing of the ninth and tenth weeks of his work; he now has time to stop and moralize about his garden. Do not take what he says too seriously; look for the fun in it. Is he in earnest about the moral qualities of vegetables? Why cannot the bean figure in poetry and romance? Can you name any prose or verse in which corn does? Explain what is said about the resemblance of some people to cuc.u.mbers. Why is celery more aristocratic than potato? Is "them" the right word in the sentence: "I do not pull them up"? Explain what is meant by the paragraph on salads. Why is the tomato a "_parvenu_"? Does the author wish to cast a slur on the Darwinian theory? Is it true that moral character is influenced by what one eats? What is the catechism? What do you think of the author's theories about scarecrows? About "saving men from any particular vice"? Why does raising one's own vegetables make one feel generous? How does the author pa.s.s from vegetables to woman suffrage? Is he in earnest in what he says? What does one get out of a selection like this?

THEME SUBJECTS

My Summer on a Farm A Garden on the Roof The Truck Garden My First Attempt at Gardening Raspberrying Planting Time The Watermelon Patch Weeding the Garden Visiting in the Country Getting Rid of the Insects School Gardens A Window-box Garden Some Weeds of our Vicinity The Scarecrow Going to Market "Votes for Women"

How Women Rule A Suffrage Meeting Why I Believe [or do not Believe] in Woman's Suffrage The "Militants"

SUGGESTIONS FOR WRITING

=My First Attempt at Gardening=:--Tell how you came to make the garden.

Was there any talk about it before it was begun? What were your plans concerning it? Did you spend any time in consulting seed catalogues?

Tell about buying (or otherwise securing) the seeds. If you got them from some more experienced gardener than yourself, report the talk about them. Tell how you made the ground ready; how you planted the seeds.

Take the reader into your confidence as to your hopes and uncertainties when the sprouts began to appear. Did the garden suffer any misfortunes from the frost, or the drought, or the depredations of the hens? Can you remember any conversation about it? Tell about the weeding, and what was said when it became necessary. Trace the progress of the garden; tell of its success or failure as time went on. What did you do with the products? Did any one praise or make fun of you? How did you feel? Did you want to have another garden?

=The Scarecrow=:--You might speak first about the garden--its prosperity and beauty, and the fruit or vegetables that it was producing. Then speak about the birds, and tell how they acted and what they did. Did you try driving them away? What was said about them? Now tell about the plans for the scarecrow. Give an account of how it was set up, and what clothes were put on it. How did it look? What was said about it? Give one or two incidents (real or imaginary) in which it was concerned. Was it of any use? How long did it remain in its place?

=Votes for Women=:--There are several ways in which you could deal with this subject:--

(_a_) If you have seen a suffrage parade, you might describe it and tell how it impressed you. (_b_) Perhaps you could write of some particular person who was interested in votes for women: How did she [or he] look, and what did she say? (_c_) Report a lecture on suffrage. (_d_) Give two or three arguments for or against woman's suffrage; do not try to take up too many, but deal with each rather completely. (_e_) Imagine two people talking together about suffrage--for instance, two old men; a man and a woman; a young woman and an old one; a child and a grown person; two children. (_f_) Imagine the author of the selection and his wife Polly talking about suffrage at the dinner table.

COLLATERAL READINGS