Old Scrooge: A Christmas Carol In Five Staves Part 11

_Voice outside._ Eh?

_Scro._ What's to day my fine fellow?

_Voice outside._ To-day! why. Christmas Day.

_Scro._ It's Christmas Day; I haven't missed it. The Spirits have done it all in one night. They can do any thing they like. Of course they can. Of course they can. (_Returns to window._) Halloo, my fine fellow!

_Voice outside._ Halloo!

_Scro._ Do you know the poulterers in the next street but one, at the corner?

_Voice outside._ I should hope I did.

_Scro._ An intelligent boy! a remarkable boy! Do you know whether they've sold the prize turkey that was hanging up there? Not the little prize turkey; the big one?

_Voice outside._ What the one as big as me?

_Scro._ What a delightful boy. It's a pleasure to talk to him. Yes, my buck.

_Voice outside._ It's hanging there now.

_Scro._ Is it? Go and buy it.

_Voice outside._ What do you take me for?

_Scro._ No, no. I am in earnest. Go and buy it, and tell 'em to bring it here, that I may give them the directions where to take it. Come back with the man, and I'll give you a s.h.i.+lling. Come back with him in less than five minutes, and I'll gave you half a crown. That boy's off like a shot. I'll send it to Bob Cratchit's. (_Rubbing his hands and chuckling._) He shan't know who sent it. It's twice the size of Tiny Tim. Joe Miller never made such a joke as sending it to Bob's will be. I must write the directions for that turkey. (_Sits at table to write._)

SCENE II--_A street. Exterior of Scrooge's Chambers._

_Enter Scrooge from the house._

_Scro._ (_Addressing the knocker on the door._) I shall love it as long as I live. (_Patting the knocker._) I scarcely ever looked at it before.

What an honest expression it has in its face. It's a wonderful knocker.--Here's the turkey.

_Enter boy with large turkey._

_Scro._ Halloo! Whoop! How are you! Merry Christmas! There's a turkey for you! This bird never could have stood upon his legs, he would have snapped 'em short off in a minute, like sticks of sealing-wax. Here's your half-crown, boy. Now take the monster to Bob Cratchit, Camden-town; and tell him it's a present from his grandmother, who wishes him A Merry Christmas, and A Happy New Year. Hold, that, turkey is too large for you to carry; take a cab, here's the money to pay for it.

_Enter Mr. and Mrs. Badger_, R.

_Scro._ Why, here comes James Badger and wife, as sure as I live. Good morning!

_James._ Good morning, sir! A Merry Christmas to you!

_Scro._ The same to you both, and many of them.

_Mrs. B._ He seems in a good humor, speak to him about it.

_Scro._ Going to church, eh?

_James._ We were going, sir, to hear the Christmas Carols, but mindful of the obligation resting upon us, which falls due to-morrow, and of our inability to meet the payment, we have called to beg your indulgence, and ask for a further extension of time.

_Scro._ Why, James, how much do you owe me?

_James._ Twenty pounds, sir.

_Scro._ How long since you contracted the debt?

_James._ Ten years to morrow, sir.

_Scro._ Then you have already paid me over half the amount in interest, which interest has been compounded, and I have, in fact, received more than the princ.i.p.al. My dear fellow, you owe me nothing, just consider the debt cancelled.

_James._ Surely, sir, you cannot mean it.

_Scro._ But I do.

_Mrs. B._ Oh, sir, how can we ever sufficiently manifest our grat.i.tude for such unexpected generosity?

_Scro._ By saying nothing about it. Remember, James and wife, this is Christmas day, and on this day, of all others, we should do unto others as we would have them do unto us.

_James._ May Heaven reward you, sir. You have lightened our hearts of a heavy burden.

_Scro._ There, there! go to church.

_James._ We shall, sir, and remember our benefactor in our devotions.

(_Shaking hands._) I can say heartily a Merry Christmas.

_Mrs. B._ And A Happy New Year. [_Exeunt_ L.]

_Scro._ I guess they are glad, now, that I am alive, and will be really sorry when I die. Halloo! Whoop!

_Enter Mr. Barnes_, L., _pa.s.ses across stage; Scrooge follows and stops him._

_Scro._ My dear sir (_taking both, his hands_), how do you do? I hope you succeeded yesterday. It was very kind of you. A Merry Christmas to you, sir.

_Mr. B._ Mr. Scrooge?

_Scro._ Yes. That is my name, and I fear it may not be pleasant to you.

Allow me to ask your pardon. And will you have the goodness--(_Scrooge whispers in his ear._)

_Mr. B._ Lord bless me--you take my breath away. My dear Mr. Scrooge, are you really serious?

_Scro._ If you please. Not a farthing less. A great many back payments are included in it, I a.s.sure you. Will you do me the favor?

_Mr. B._ My dear sir (_shaking hands with him_), I don't know what to say to such munifi--

_Scro._ Don't say any thing, please. Come and see me. Will you come and see me?