Cupology: How to Be Entertaining Part 9

Upon her finger in a handsome ring the very modern girl wears the stone that means good omen to her, and feels that she is secure from harm. If it is not in a little golden circlet upon her hand, then perchance she wears it at her throat, in one of the little dingle dangles that are so fas.h.i.+onable. But about her neck, in her fob, or bangle, the la.s.s who wishes to cast a spell of good fortune about herself, somewhere wears the stone that is a.s.signed to the month in which she first saw the light of day.

In what month were you born? Do you know what is your birth stone? If you do not you better at once discover the stone and begin to wear it. That is, if you wish good luck, and what maiden ever lived who does not sigh for it.

Here is a list of the gems, and the months to which they are a.s.signed by those soothtellers who know all the signs for luck, good or ill: For January, garnet; February, amethyst; March, jasper; April, sapphire; May, chalcedony; June, emerald; July, onyx; August, carnelian; September, chrysolite; October, aquamarine; November, topaz; December, ruby.

KRUGER'S UNLUCKY DIAMOND.

When Kruger went to Europe he took with him a famous diamond, which was said to have brought misfortune and death to all its possessors. It had a strange history.

The diamond originally belonged to Meshhesh, a Basuto chief, from whom it was extorted by T'Chaka, the Zulu King. T'Chaka's brother killed him and stole the stone. The brother came to grief and the gem pa.s.sed into the possession of a Zulu chief, who soon afterward was a.s.sa.s.sinated. The natives say that no less than sixteen of the successive possessors of the diamond were either killed or driven out of the country for the sake of the gem.

The diamond was then seen by white men who sought to possess it.

A party of whites attacked the natives who had the stone in their possession, and a fierce fight ensued, in which 300 lives, mostly natives, were lost.

Memela, a native chief, took the gem and concealed it in a wound which he had received in the battle. Afterward Memela was caught by the Boers and set to work as a slave. Kruger, hearing his story, released him, and in grat.i.tude Memela gave the stone to his liberator. Some years pa.s.sed, and then Kruger met his misfortune.

Where the fatal diamond is now is not certain, though it is certain that the ex-President of the Transvaal parted with it.

Some say that it is in the coffers of the Vatican, and some that it was sold to the Emperor of Austria, and is now among the crown jewels of Vienna.

The stone is said to be 200 carats in weight, but is not perfect.-- _Baltimore Sun_.

STRANGE WILLS.

There have not been many will makers more eccentric than Mr.

MacCraig, the Scotch banker, whose last testament will shortly come under the consideration of the Edinburgh Court of Session.

Mr. MacCraig it may be remembered left instructions in his will that gigantic statues of himself, his brothers and sisters, a round dozen in all, should be placed on the summit of a great tower he had commenced to build on Battery Hill, near Oban--each statue to cost not less than $5,000.

A much more whimsical testator was a Mr. Sanborn, of Boston, who left $5,000 to Prof. Aga.s.si, to have his skin converted into drum-heads and two of his bones into drumsticks, and the balance of his fortune to his friend, Mr. Simpson, on condition that on every 17th of June he should repair to the foot of Bunker Hill, and, as the sun rose, "beat on the drum the spirit stirring strain of Yankee Doodle."

A Mr. Stow left a sum of money to an eminent King's counsel, "Wherewith to purchase a picture of a viper stinging his benefactor," as a perpetual warning against the sin of ingrat.i.tude.

It was a rich English brewer who bequeathed $150,000 to his daughter on condition that on the birth of her first child she should forfeit $10,000 to a specified hospital, $20,000 on the birth of the second child, and so on by arithmetical progression until the $150,000 was exhausted.

Sydney d.i.c.kenson left $300,000 to his widow, who appears to have given him a bad time during his life, on condition that she should spend two hours a day at his graveside, "in company with her sister, whom I know she hates worse than she does myself."

LAUGHAGRAPHS.

It is related of George Clark, the celebrated negro minstrel, that, being examined as a witness, he was severely interrogated by the attorney, who wished to break down his evidence. "You are in the negro minstrel business, I believe?" inquired the lawyer.

"Yes, sir," was the prompt reply. "Isn't that rather a low calling?" demanded the lawyer. "I don't know but what it is, sir," replied the minstrel, "but it is so much better than my father's that I am rather proud of it." "What was your father's calling?" "He was a lawyer," replied Clark, in a tone of regret that put the audience in a roar. The lawyer let him alone.

THE MAN WHO CAN MAKE US LAUGH.

G.o.d bless the man who can make us laugh.

Who can make us forget for a time, In the sparkling mirth of a paragraph, Or a bit of ridiculous rime, The burden of care that is carried each day, The thoughts that awaken a sigh, The sorrows that threaten to darken our way, G.o.d bless the dear man say I.

QUEER BLUNDERS.

Illegible copy has caused innumerable amusing and not a few serious blunders in print. A speaker quoted these lines:

O, come, thou G.o.ddess fair and free, In heaven yclept Euphrosyne.

They were printed as written:

O, come, thou G.o.ddess fair and free, In heaven she crept and froze her knee.

The reporter was following sound. Here is another ill.u.s.tration:

Those lovely eyes bedimmed, Those lovely eyes be dammed.

A Congressman advocated grants of public land to "actual settlers." It got in the paper as "cattle stealers." A reporter tried to write that "the jury disagreed and were discharged," but the compositor set it up "the jury disappeared and were disgraced."

The last words in a poorly written sentence, "Alone and isolated, man would become impotent and perish," were set up as "impatient and peevish."

A MYSTERIOUS TELEGRAM.

A certain church society in Vermont resolved on a Christmas festival, and determined to have a scripture motto, handsomely illuminated, in a s.p.a.ce back of the pulpit. One of the deacons, who had business in Boston, took with him the proposed motto and the measure of the s.p.a.ce to be occupied by it, but unfortunately lost the memorandum. He therefore sent this telegram to his wife in Vermont. "Send motto and s.p.a.ce." She promptly complied, but the Boston telegraph girl fell off her chair in a faint when she read off the message, "Unto us a child is born four feet wide and eight feet long." The deacon, however, thought it nothing uncommon.

Mistress: Did the fisherman who stopped here this morning have frog legs?

Nora: Sure, mum, I dinnaw. He wore pants.--_Cornell Widow_.

"Goodness," exclaimed the nervous visitor "what vulgar little hoodlums those noisy boy are out there in the street!"

"I can't see them," said the hostess, "I'm rather near-sighted, you know."

"But surely you can hear how they're shouting and carrying on."

"Yes, but I can't tell whether they're my children or the neighbors."--_Philadelphia Press_.

FORTUNE.