John Smith, U.S.A Part 1

John Smith, U.S.A.

by Eugene Field.

INTRODUCTION.

From whatever point of view the character of Eugene Field is seen, genius--rare and quaint presents itself is childlike simplicity. That he was a poet of keen perception, of rare discrimination, all will admit.

He was a humorist as delicate and fanciful as Artemus Ward, Mark Twain, Bill Nye, James Whitcomb Riley, Opie Read, or Bret Harte in their happiest moods. Within him ran a poetic vein, capable of being worked in any direction, and from which he could, at will, extract that which his imagination saw and felt most. That he occasionally left the child-world, in which he longed to linger, to wander among the older children of men, where intuitively the hungry listener follows him into his Temple of Mirth, all should rejoice, for those who knew him not, can while away the moments imbibing the genius of his imagination in the poetry and prose here presented.

Though never possessing an intimate acquaintances.h.i.+p with Field, owing largely to the disparity in our ages, still there existed a bond of friendliness that renders my good opinion of him in a measure trustworthy. Born in the same city, both students in the same college, engaged at various times in newspaper work both in St. Louis and Chicago, residents of the same ward, with many mutual friends, it is not surprising that I am able to say of him that "the world is better off that he lived, not in gold and silver or precious jewels, but in the bestowal of priceless truths, of which the possessor of this book becomes a benefactor of no mean share of his estate."

Every lover of Field, whether of the songs of childhood or the poems that lend mirth to the out-pouring of his poetic nature, will welcome this unique collection of his choicest wit and humor.

CHARLES WALTER Brown.

Chicago, January, 1905.

JOHN SMITH.

To-day I strayed in Charing Cross as wretched as could be With thinking of my home and friends across the tumbling sea; There was no water in my eyes, but my spirits were depressed And my heart lay like a sodden, soggy doughnut in my breast.

This way and that streamed mult.i.tudes, that gayly pa.s.sed me by-- Not one in all the crowd knew me and not a one knew I!

"Oh, for a touch of home!" I sighed; "oh, for a friendly face!

Oh, for a hearty handclasp in this teeming desert place!"

And so, soliloquizing as a homesick creature will, Incontinent, I wandered down the noisy, bustling hill And drifted, automatic-like and vaguely, into Lowe's, Where Fortune had in store a panacea for my woes.

The register was open, and there dawned upon my sight A name that filled and thrilled me with a cyclone of delight-- The name that I shall venerate unto my dying day-- The proud, immortal signature: "John Smith, U.S.A."

Wildly I clutched the register and brooded on that name-- I knew John Smith, yet could not well identify the same.

I knew him North, I knew him South, I knew him East and West-- I knew him all so well I knew not which I knew the best.

His eyes, I recollect, were gray, and black, and brown, and blue, And, when he was not bald, his hair was of chameleon hue; Lean, fat, tall, short, rich, poor, grave, gay, a blonde and a brunette-- Aha, amid this London fog, John Smith, I see you yet; I see you yet, and yet the sight is all so blurred I seem To see you in composite, or as in a waking dream, Which are you, John? I'd like to know, that I might weave a rhyme Appropriate to your character, your politics and clime; So tell me, were you "raised" or "reared"--your pedigree confess In some such treacherous ism as "I reckon" or "I guess"; Let fall your tell-tale dialect, that instantly I may Identify my countryman, "John Smith, U.S.A."

It's like as not you are the John that lived a spell ago Down East, where codfish, beans 'nd bona-fide school-marms grow; Where the dear old homestead nestles like among the Hamps.h.i.+re hills And where the robin hops about the cherry boughs and trills; Where Hubbard squash 'nd huckleberries grow to powerful size, And everything is orthodox from preachers down to pies; Where the red-wing blackbirds swing 'nd call beside the pickril pond, And the crows air cawin' in the pines uv the pasture lot beyond; Where folks complain uv bein' poor, because their money's lent Out West on farms 'nd railroads at the rate uv ten per cent; Where we ust to spark the Baker girls a-comin' home from choir, Or a-settin' namin' apples round the roarin' kitchen fire: Where we had to go to meetin' at least three times a week, And our mothers learnt us good religious Dr. Watts to speak, And where our grandmas sleep their sleep--G.o.d rest their souls, I say!

And G.o.d bless yours, ef you're that John, "John Smith, U.S.A."

Or, mebbe, Colonel Smith, yo' are the gentleman I know In the country whar the finest democrats 'nd horses grow; Whar the ladies are all beautiful an' whar the c.r.a.p of cawn Is utilized for Bourbon and true dawters are bawn; You've ren for jedge, and killed yore man, and bet on Proctor Knott-- Yore heart is full of chivalry, yore skin is full of shot; And I disremember whar I've met with gentlemen so true As yo' all in Kaintucky, whar blood an' gra.s.s are blue; Whar a n.i.g.g.ah with a ballot is the signal fo' a fight, Whar a yaller dawg pursues the c.o.o.n throughout the bammy night; Whar blooms the furtive 'possum--pride an' glory of the South-- And Aunty makes a hoe-cake, sah, that melts within yo' mouth!

Whar, all night long, the mockin'-birds are warblin' in the trees And black-eyed Susans nod and blink at every pa.s.sing breeze, Whar in a hallowed soil repose the ashes of our Clay-- Hyar's lookin' at yo', Colonel "John Smith, U.S.A."!

Or wuz you that John Smith I knew out yonder in the West-- That part of our republic I shall always love the best?

Wuz you him that went prospectin' in the spring of sixty-nine In the Red Hoss mountain country for the Gosh-All-Hemlock Mine?

Oh, how I'd like to clasp your hand an' set down by your side And talk about the good old days beyond the big divide; Of the rackaboar, the snaix, the bear, the Rocky Mountain goat, Of the conversazzhyony 'nd of Casey's tabble-dote, And a word of them old pardners that stood by us long ago (Three-Fingered Hoover, Sorry Tom and Parson Jim, you know)!

Old times, old friends, John Smith, would make our hearts beat high again, And we'd see the snow-top mountain like we used to see 'em then; The magpies would go flutterin' like strange sperrits to 'nd fro, And we'd hear the pines a-singing' in the ragged gulch below; And the mountain brook would loiter like upon its windin' way, Ez if it waited for a child to jine it in its play.

You see, John Smith, just which you are I cannot well recall, And, really, I am pleased to think you somehow must be all!

For when a man sojourns abroad awhile (as I have done) He likes to think of all the folks he left at home as one-- And so they are! For well you know there's nothing in a name--- Our Browns, our Joneses and our Smiths are happily the same; All represent the spirit of the land across the sea, All stand for one high purpose in our country of the free!

Whether John Smith be from the South, the North, the West, the East-- So long as he's American, it mattereth not the least; Whether his crest be badger, bear, palmetto, sword or pine, He is the glory of the stars that with the stripes combine!

Where'er he be, whate'er his lot, he's eager to be known, Not by his mortal name, but by his country's name alone!

And so, compatriot, I am proud you wrote your name to-day Upon the register at Lowe's, "John Smith, U.S.A."

THE FISHERMAN'S FEAST.

Of all the gracious gifts of Spring, Is there another can safely surpa.s.s This delicate, voluptuous thing-- This dapple-green, plump-shouldered ba.s.s?

Upon a damask napkin laid, What exhalations superfine Our gustatory nerves pervade, Provoking quenchless thirsts for wine.

The ancients loved this n.o.ble fish, And, coming from the kitchen fire All piping hot upon a dish, What raptures did he not inspire!

"Fish should swim twice," they used to say-- Once in their native vapid brine, And then a better way-- You understand? Fetch on the wine!

Ah, dainty monarch of the flood, How often have I cast for you-- How often sadly seen you scud Where weeds and p.u.s.s.y willows grew!

How often have you filched my bait!

How often have you snapped my treacherous line!-- Yet here I have you on this plate.

You _shall_ swim twice, and _now_ in _wine_!

And, harkee, garcon! let the blood Of cobwebbed years be spilt for him-- Aye, in a rich Burgundy flood This piscatorial pride should swim; So, were he living, he should say He gladly died for me and mine, And, as it was his native spray, He'd lash the sauce--What, ho! the wine!

I would it were ordained for me To share your fate, oh finny friend!

I surely were not loath to be Reserved for such a n.o.ble end; For when old Chronos, gaunt and grim, At last reels in his ruthless line, What were my ecstacy to swim In wine, in wine, in glorious wine!

Well, here's a health to you, sweet Spring!

And, prithee, whilst I stick to earth, Come hither every year and bring The boons provocative of mirth; And should your stock of ba.s.s run low, However much I might repine, I think I might survive the blow If plied with wine, and still more wine!

TO JOHN J. KNICKERBOCKER, JR.

Whereas, good friend, it doth appear You do possess the notion To his awhile away from here To lands across the ocean; Now, by these presents we would show That, wheresoever wend you, And wheresoever gales may blow, Our friends.h.i.+p shall attend you.

What though on Scotia's banks and braes You pluck the bonnie gowan, Or chat of old Chicago days O'er Berlin brew with Cowen; What though you stroll some boulevard In Paris (c'est la belle ville!), Or make the round of Scotland Yard With our lamented Melville?

Shall paltry leagues of foaming brine True heart from true hearts sever?

No--in this draught of honest wine We pledge it, comrade--never!

Though mountain waves between us roll, Come fortune or disaster-- 'Twill knit us closer soul to soul And bind our friends.h.i.+ps faster.

So here's a bowl that shall be quaff'd To loyalty's devotion, And here's to fortune that shall waft Your s.h.i.+p across the ocean, And here's a smile for those who prate Of Davy Jones's locker, And here's a pray'r in every fate-- G.o.d bless you, Knickerbocker!

THE BOTTLE AND THE BIRD.