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The child fought like a raged, wounded animal. Maintaining her hold, Grace fought the panic rising in her throat. She freed her right hand and repeatedly signed the letter G, her own sign name, in front of Cherry. After an eternal minute of thras.h.i.+ng the possessed child released her fit of anger with a long, exaggerated breath and fell limp in Grace's arms. Astonished and shaken by Cherry's strength, Grace worked on calming her own breath. When she did, she noticed her eyes had filled. What in this child's life causes her to have to fight so violently?
Lowering herself to the floor, she pulled Cherry onto her lap, started a slow-paced rocking motion and stroked the child's tangled hair. Cherry never shed tears with her outbursts, only bone-chilling hostile glares. The world? Her enemy.
Since the episode, Cherry glued herself to Grace during all the daily activities. For whatever reason, Cherry calmed in her presence. From that day on, the staff had nicknamed her The Cherry-Whisperer.
"G.o.d. What's her life really like?" Grace turned the square to start the last row of st.i.tches. Unlike Hannah, who had been showered with unconditional love and devotion her entire life, Cherry seemed to lack positive attention of any kind.
Grace finished off the nine-by-seven square and dropped her hands to her lap. "I've got one more week with her. Then what?"
Her thoughts switched to Adam, who had been gone four days. And with another woman. Jared had gone, but still: Who was Lindsay Durham? Was she a Melissa McCarthy (cute as a b.u.t.ton, but over-sized) or Jennifer Aniston (perfect in every way) contract specialist? Grace shrugged. Adam had never given her anything to worry about before. But then again, she'd been a more-than-usual-pain-in-the-a.s.s lately.
"Adam wouldn't." Would he? "Nah." She scratched him off the disturbance list. The chili cheese-dog agony had subsided with a Prilosec. That left Cherry.
CHAPTER 15.
GRACE.
Three more days of volunteering. Because of heading to Branson on Friday she'd miss the last day of the summer program, which she regretted. Did she actually say that? Yes, and she knew why. Cherry shadowed her every move since the being-tossed-into-the-file-cabinet episode, and having the child close, Grace felt she could protect her...although from what, she didn't know. Jill had been less than thrilled about Grace missing the last day, but leaving on Friday would get them to Branson for the end of Josh's camp. And hand's down, closing ceremonies for Josh trumped the last day of the summer program.
During the entire, agonizing month, Josh had sent only two letters, with the exception of the mandatory Sunday chicken-letter. The letters arrived the same day. Grace could only imagine the mailman's relief to drop off not one, but two letters stamped Branson, Missouri.
As if run off on a copier, the letters were identical. He did, however, take time to address one to Adam and Grace, the other to Hannah.
Dear Mom and Dad/Hannah, Camp is great. I'm in cabin 12 and it's the best. I'm having fun. My counselors are Jordan and David. They are cool. I caught a fish today.
Love, Josh Adam and Hannah hooted and hollered over the letters at the dinner table.
Grace did not. "This doesn't say anything!"
"He's having a good time," Adam signed, a tight grin on his lips.
Through his smile Grace noticed circles under his eyes and an unrecognizable tenseness in his voice. Probably those unG.o.dly hours he's been working, she thought, and then switched back to Josh's non-letter. "How can you tell he's having a good time?" she scanned the spattering of words, thinking she'd missed something.
Adam imitated writing a letter. "No time."
Hannah banged the table with the palm of her hand, interrupting the parental banter. "Astros game." Her eyes bright. "Next Tuesday. Can I go?"
"With who?" Grace and Adam signed in unison.
"Jenn." Hannah s.h.i.+fted in her seat. "Her dad said two more could come. Please?"
"Who's the other person?" Grace noticed Hannah's excited expression.
"Daniel." Hannah's fingerspelling took on light year speed.
Fatherly lines formed between Adam's eyebrows. "Who's Daniel?"
"Jennifer's dad wants to take you, Jennifer AND Daniel?" Grace pursed her lips.
"Who's Daniel?" Adam repeated.
"I'll explain later." Grace bit her lip. A fast-moving conveyor belt was about to dump her into the throws of teenage p.u.b.erty.
"Yes?" Hannah balanced on the edge of her seat.
Grace shot her daughter a weak smile. "Let me and your dad talk, okay?"
Obviously not the answer she wanted, Hannah grimaced and nodded.
Adam tapped the table. "I have a surprise." He leaned forward, eyes dancing.
"What?" Hannah signed. Grace wondered the same thing.
"I telephoned Mr. Weiger this morning." Adam rubbed his hands together. "We get the beach house, third week of July. How's that?" Port Aransas, their favorite vacation spot.
Mother and daughter stared, wide-eyed. Hannah excited, Grace bewildered.
"I love the beach!" Hannah jumped up and a.s.saulted her dad with a bear hug. "I'm telling Jenn," she signed and bolted out of the room.
Grace stared at Adam. "Why am I just now hearing about this?"
"I have to go back to Chicago in August." A haunted look shadowed his face, his fingers shredding his napkin.
"Again?" Grace's jaw clenched.
"Sorry. Can't be helped." Adam's voice lowered to a near whisper. "That's why I called Mr. Weiger."
Grace studied the paper napkin sc.r.a.p-pile. Her insecurities regrouped. He's bribing me with a vacation. What the h.e.l.l is going on? For the first time in weeks she seriously longed for her closet. Or bed...or a pill.
"How long this time?" A pout formed at her mouth.
"Same as before. Three-four days." Pus.h.i.+ng the napkin pieces aside, Adam rested his elbows on the table, his fingers forming a tee-pee. "But hey, we don't have to think about that now. You and Hannah have three more days of camp and then we head to Branson. Josh'll love the beach, don't you think?"
She cringed at the irritating don't you think? phrase her mother had used to make a point. She crossed her arms. "I guess."
They sat in awkward silence before Adam spoke.
"Grace?"
"Hmm?" Her mind vacillated between rising apprehension and self-pity.
"I'm proud of you. I mean it," Adam reached and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear in a moment of tenderness. "You're doing something really worthwhile; something that's getting you back on track."
"I'll never get back to that place," Grace whispered, fighting back tears welling behind her eyes. She missed her mom. She feared for Cherry and felt a growing disturbance between herself and Adam. The poisonous c.o.c.ktail combination mingled with her own splash of insecurity burned her throat on its way down to her belly.
"Maybe to a better place, then." Adam stood and stacked the plates.
"Whatever," Grace mumbled. "Mind if I take a bath?" Feeling particularly immature, Grace had the urge to leave Adam with the messy kitchen.
"Get to a better place," Grace sniveled, pouring bath salts into the filling tub.
"What the h.e.l.l's wrong with that?" #2 asked in one of her many annoying tones.
"It's like he thinks something's wrong with where I am."
"Yeah...that's because it sucks."
Grace felt perfectly content sulking alone. "Why are you here anyway? You haven't bothered me in weeks."
"You haven't been letting that whiney pansy-a.s.s run the show." #2 didn't pull punches. How like her. "When are you going to get rid of that cry-baby? She makes me gag."
"Oh, and what do you suggest I do with her?" Lame comebacks on rapid fire now.
"For starters, you can throw her sorry little a.s.s in that closet you're so fond of. And while you're at it, toss her a pacifier. I'm sick of her thumb-sucking."
"I don't suck my thumb." Grace crossed her arms.
"Might as well. You're acting like an infant."
Grace straightened. "You said I was doing better."
"No. I said you haven't let the little twit run the show."
"Where did you come from anyway?" Grace glared. Somehow, she couldn't imagine this crude, "in your face" b.i.t.c.h coming from within her.
"What about Cherry?" #2 ignored her question.
Her stomach dropped at the mention of the child's name. "What about her?"
"You were on to something the other night."
Grace tilted her head. "About Cherry? What?"
"Gotta go. Hey, watch that bath water."
"Well s.h.i.+t," Grace seethed. "You can't leave now!" Silence. "d.a.m.n her." Grace shut off the faucet, tested the water with her toe, and then sank into the foamy pool. She replayed the conversation. What had #2 meant about Cherry?
Later, Grace explained the Daniel situation to Adam. And, although not crazy about the boyfriend part, he shrugged and gave the go-ahead for the baseball game.
When they told Hannah, she responded as if she'd just been handed keys to her first car. Adam scratched his head, confused. Grace understood all too well the excitement of a first boyfriend...and the heartache after a first boyfriend.
p.u.b.erty. The first major stage of Hannah's life she'd have to wade through without her mother's advice. Who'll help me now?
An image of #2 hooking Hannah up with some tattooed biker dude, wearing matching vials of each other's blood around their necks zipped through Grace's mind, closely followed by vague images of a young Angelina and Billy Bob Thornton.
Oh.My.G.o.d. Grace felt her heart ramp. And Angelina got Brad in the end, didn't she? s.h.i.+t. Biker chick and home-wrecker. Grace tried to calm herself by making a mental note. No (as in zero) help from #2 during Hannah's p.u.b.erty stage.
Why did her mother have to die?
Thursday morning. Grace needed to talk to Cherry before she lost her nerve. She breathed in what she hoped to be confidence and pulled Cherry aside during the morning break.
"Today is my last day." Grace swallowed hard, making note of Cherry's lethal red boots. "I wanted to say goodbye." Cherry's eyes narrowed. She wrapped her arms tightly across her small chest and stomped out of the room.
That went well. She watched the troubled child disappear around the corner and took off after her. She found Cherry in the empty Arts and Crafts room, curled up in a corner under a table, her arms still tightly crossed, her eyes spitting fire.
Grace tried to coax Cherry out of the cramped s.p.a.ce. "Please come out. We'll talk. Okay?" Cherry refused to budge, turning her small, dirt-smudged face to the wall.
Pulling up a chair, Grace sat. Twenty minutes pa.s.sed before Cherry crawled out from under the table and stood, lifted her chin as high as her small stature allowed and, once again, marched out of the room. By the time Grace reached the door she caught the child's small silhouette pus.h.i.+ng through heavy double doors leading outside. Grace followed and watched Cherry join the Bluebird's outside activity.
Jill shot Grace a questioning look.
With rounded eyes, Grace could only shrug. Cherry ignored her the rest of the day.
"I guess she's punis.h.i.+ng me for not coming tomorrow." Grace sat next to Jill during lunch.
"I would too if I could think of some horrible torture to inflict on you." Jill stacked potato chips on her tuna sandwich.
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is you're leaving me to manage that wild child for the entire day."
"Oh, she'll be fine." Grace mentally crossed her fingers. "She's done better every week."
Jill wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Yeah, because you've been here." She took a drink from her water bottle. "I don't know what you did with Cherry, but you've saved my b.u.t.t. I'd have changed my major by now if I'd had to deal with her myself."
Grace shook her head and smiled. "You're exaggerating."
"Yeah, whatever. But I swear, next year, if Cherry's in my group and you're not, I'll hunt you down, woman. Seriously." Jill shot Grace an I-mean-it smile before leaving the table.
Grace sipped her Diet c.o.ke, thinking about Jill's words. Her eyes panned the lunch area and spotted Cherry sitting near a few little girls from the Bluebird group. For the most part, she sat alone. Grace winced, only imaging the isolation of Cherry's world.
Fifteen minutes before the close of the day Jill called the group together to say goodbye to Grace. Overall, the Bluebirds had interacted remarkably well over the last three weeks. Several of the hearing kids spent more than the allotted time learning new signs, evidence of Grace's contribution to the group.
The Bluebirds lined up and said their personal goodbyes...except Cherry, who stood next to the wall, her back to the group.