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MEMORIZE EP.6
I Use My Privilege.
Translated by End.
Hot. Hwajung that is going down my oesophagus is hot. Rolling down through my body, I felt the Hwajung responding for the first time when it touches my slow flowing Magic Power.
Whoos.h.!.+ Whroos.h.!.+
The reaction transformed into a fierce kindle, and with an unpredictable momentum, a fire began. The potential flame(炎) locked in the marble could be felt by its distinct smell, a telling indication of Hwajung’s strength - pure and destructive.
BOOM…!
It was fortunate that the first feedback was faint. Nevertheless, on various point on my body bubbled and fire swirled and vomited out. I could not handle the sudden bursts on my body as fire leaked out. Every time I wiggled, sparks flickered to my surroundings and my body spasmed intermittently.
I think Seraph saw my sorry shape, as I heard a faint spell being chanted. I did not know where she was but with great difficulty, waved my hand at her. Do not interfere.
Seraph was completely right. With my abilities, trying to forcefully Hwajung’s power was but a distant dream. There was some chance of success through the use of the ‘Ancient Miko’ tattoo. But I had no plans to use the tattoo’s strength yet. Nay, it was more accurate to say I had absolutely no plan in the first place to curb Hwajung. Rather, the ‘Ancient Miko’ tattoo would be used to offer a place of refuge for my soon to be companion, Hwajung.
What I desired was not oppression or control. Could any human possibly take in a power equivalent to the h.e.l.lfire? However, if the scenario changed to simply borrowing its power, the situation completely changed.
Opening one of my eyes, I could see a faint outline of Seraph. She was rolling on her feet. Seeing an Angel doing so was quite a unique sight, but I immediately focused my gaze on her face. Till now, it was just a precursor to the main event, which was about to start very soon. I knew it so very well.
It was more complicated than comparing the burst caused by Hwajung to an ordinary explosion. It was not a physical explosion but an explosion of pure energy. An incomparable accompaniment of energy and agony. And then, Hwajung started up in earnest for the first time.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
“G, Gah.”
Without me knowing, consecutive explosions caused my eyes to roll back. The pain from the explosions was unimaginable. In my 10 years in Hall Plain, I experienced so many injuries and pain, but those were all love taps to what I was feeling now. I shuddered at the greater intensity of pain that was coming, but that made me clench my teeth all the harder.
Inside, I was repeating it endlessly. I am Player Kim Su Hyun who saw the end of Hall Plain. In all that time, my patience was endlessly and I persevered eternally. In that 10 years of time, I accomplished something no one managed, I held the Zero Code in my own hands. I did not earn that pride through simple fun and games.
I am not sure if it was the sound of the explosion or Seraph’s voice, as the surrounding was in an uproar. Although, I guess it didn’t really matter as I couldn’t hear properly anyways. With every pa.s.sing second, the energy from Hwajung was increasing steadily. And when I felt it was about to erupt once more, I pulled every fibre of my being in awakening my Magic Power to stimulate Hwajung’s energy.
As I applied the vast 90 point of Magic Power, the energy that Hwajung was about to let off tapered off for a moment. It was no more than a mere moment, but I could give off a weak smile. My Magic Power mixed with Hwajung’s energy without any difficulty.
The concentration of pure fire. An eternally blazing fire. The Hwajung had a will of its own. Containing a ‘self’ it was similar but also different to an Ego equipment that chose its own master. The difference was the ‘will.’ By its will, it could exert or refuse to activate its power. It did not have an ego but the emotion was alive. Joining my Magic Power with Hwajung, I was trying to reach a mutual consensus.
The emotion I felt from Hwajung was sheer astonishment. Most of the times, if anything was trying to subvert their insides, trying to control the energy was the normal thing to do. But on the contrary, I was helping it along. I had extended my hand to it. ‘I am not trying to force you to kneel, but an equal partners.h.i.+p where power is borrowed.’ I shouted in my heart with all my honest emotions.
‘I absolutely need you. Go ahead and flip my heart upside down. Search out if I am a fit partner who can borrow your power, make your own decision and show me your judgement.’
In a moment of but just one breath, hot air exhaled through my nostrils and fire streamed out of my nose.
‘Good. I understand.’
It was close, but I managed to receive Hwajung’s approval.
I braced myself. Hwajung was fretting to play, and I guided it to s.p.a.ce where it could. The first target was my right and left arms. As fast as it could, I felt it split its energy and send a t.i.tanic amount toward both directions. Guiding it to the pa.s.sage through my vessels and blood, I felt the energy rus.h.i.+ng down like a wave. Indiscernible, Hwajung reaches the tips of my fingers in an instant and occupied even the microscopic acupoint. Burgle! Burgle!
Tuk! Tuk! Tuk! Tuk!
I felt a strange feeling of bubbles bursting in the blood of my body, it felt good and painful at the same time. A refres.h.i.+ng sound of my blocked vessels being unclogged. Even if it was being forcefully opened, the effect was astounding. What the masters of the past found difficult, Hwajung had punctured through right to the microscopic acupoint located at the tip of my finger. Simultaneously on both my arms, a yellowish ooze and blackish fluid boiled to the surface of the skin. Unable to withstand the heat, it evaporated into the air. The waste and impurities that were hidden deep within my body had impeded Hwajung’s path and was summarily struck. Usually, this would be a cause for celebration but unfortunately, I had no reason to right now.
I felt dizzy even though I had simply guided it through my arms. I gently coax the energy to return to my centre. Fortunately, Hwajung seems done with the part it seized, as it docile followed my will. As the energy that filled both my arms streamed out, my arms hang uselessly. That huge shock had literally made me lose sensation on my arms.
I was worried that at this rate I might lose my arms but I had no desire to undo what happened. Hwajung pestered petulantly at me to quickly take it to different areas, so I hurriedly guided it to the pa.s.sage leading to my legs. It stealthily jostling my back as it came nearer, and as if it waited for an eternity, it rushed down my legs like a fierce wave. Burgle! Burgle!
Tuk! Tuk! Tuk! Tuk!
The process was no different than what happened to both my arms. The result was the same. As the subjugating energy left, my legs couldn’t bear it and again, I lost sensation on another body part. I dropped to the ground flabbily. My current Resistance, Vitality and Magic Power at best could only seem to keep my body from breaking down and keep it in one shape.
Without giving a d.a.m.n, explosions went off in my stretched out body as Hwajung played energetically like a fish that entered water for the very first time. Literally, I was but a moment away from going crazy. I wanted to faint as pain hammered every part of my body, but my superhuman patience weakly held my mind together.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Every time I heard an explosion, a jolt went through my heart and my blood became hot. ‘Isn’t there any more place to play?’ Hwajung called out its intention. I braced myself and asked it to gather more energy first. I would lead it to my last barrier, my head.
With it near my head, I felt fear enter me for the first time. This was uncontrollable fear. Whether it pierced through my head or not, I was at the point I didn’t even want to imagine the pain I would experience. Then.
‘If I don’t want to, maybe I should end it here? Do I even have to raise it to my head? Isn’t this enough?’
I thought the voice whispering in my ear resembled closely with Hwajung’s gentle voice. I was about to nod but I immediately shook no. My rationality told me to stop, but my instinct had already finish guiding the energy to my head.
‘Stupid. Don’t you know you could die?’
“Just this much….”
The preparation was over.
Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Don’t do it.
My mind told me to stop, but my body didn’t care as it remained faithful to my instincts. I screamed out as I sent off Hwajung to the pa.s.sage leading to my head.
“Don’t underestimate me!”
Without me knowing, I spat out those words but my will was conveyed. The energy in my centre began to swirl into life. The energy built up one after another, stopping right below the abdomen. Pulling every strength since I was born, I blazed up the energy. It left a trail of fierce bursts as Hwajung entered my throat in an instant.
“Cough!”
PUHWA!
Nose, mouth, ears, eyes. Every hole in my body was leaking dark crimson blood. All my sensations were ringing an alarm bell. This was the feeling of death.
Whoos.h.!.+ Whroos.h.!.+
Hwajung’s energy flared it’s irritation at an obstruction in my throat if an explosion burst here, only a gruesome end awaited me. Vertigo swept through my body and my mind felt like it jumped off a cliff.
I could feel this was the end. I pulled the energy that rotated in a confused vortex in my throat back down to my abdomen. I was extremely fortunate the energy followed my will and moved down.
‘No matter what, it have to pierce through.’
One…. Two…. Three…. The energy whirled around for a total of ten times as it was putting its finis.h.i.+ng touches. Thinking this would be my last, I rushed the energy toward my head once more. I couldn’t even care about the pain that would visit me soon.
BOOM!
The unreserved shock shook my whole body. The throat was refres.h.i.+ngly unclogged and a path to my head was established. Like before, Hwajung’s energy covered the whole of my head.
I couldn’t see. Thankfully, that was it. My eyes turned on and off for a moment, turning the world into a field of white. Everything else, well, I couldn’t feel anything at all. It was like my memory was cut out in the middle and attached to the next piece.
Whoos.h.!.+ Whroos.h.!.+ Whoos.h.!.+ Whroos.h.!.+
I could barely perceive the situation. It felt like Hwajung was asking me why I resisted in the first place as it made it’s temper known by turning my head upside down non-stop. I felt my brain literally melting.
Pain? Truthfully, when the energy first pierced through me, there was a refres.h.i.+ng feeling. But as my vision slowly returned and the sensation in my body recovered, I could finally feel it. A pain I never wanted to experience in ever again.
‘Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!’ ’
If I could have screamed, I would have screamed at the top of my lungs. The pain had long pa.s.sed what ordinary humans could endure, a different dimensional pain surrounded me. Is this how it feels like if one dunks their head in a blasting furnace? Or dunking oneself in oil and throwing themselves into a pit of fire? No matter how many adversities and hards.h.i.+p I suffered through, in this instant, I earnestly desired death.
A huge explosion that could be seen outside my body, racked through my entire being. The sum of all explosions detonated. Starting from my head, the eternally blazing inferno that is Hwajung claimed owners.h.i.+p as bit by bit it seized my body. Every cell in my body that Hwajung’s energy touched began to sizzle, pain no longer racked through me, rather warmth seeped through. Some time pa.s.sed like that, and my vision return, cloudy as it may. I still couldn’t move my body. Lifting my eyelids that weighed like a ton, I saw a white-faced Seraph who was looking at me vacantly.
‘Am I still alive….?’
If I had to go through such excruciating pain once more, I’d rather die.
The final part was relatively easy compared to opening my head. I slowly gathered all the energy Hwajung spread through my body and gently pulled it to my heart. I don’t know if it like me or not, but Hwajung obediently followed my will and moved.
It was only now that I activated the magic held within the ‘Ancient Miko’s Seal’ tattoo. Hwajung seemed satisfied with running amok earlier that it obediently entered my heart. I felt it neatly settling in.
“Su Hyun! Su Hyun!”
I fainted right then and there. I did not even have a moment to feel relieved.
The reaction transformed into a fierce kindle, and with an unpredictable momentum, a fire began. The potential flame(炎) locked in the marble could be felt by its distinct smell, a telling indication of Hwajung’s strength - pure and destructive.
BOOM…!
It was fortunate that the first feedback was faint. Nevertheless, on various point on my body bubbled and fire swirled and vomited out. I could not handle the sudden bursts on my body as fire leaked out. Every time I wiggled, sparks flickered to my surroundings and my body spasmed intermittently.
I think Seraph saw my sorry shape, as I heard a faint spell being chanted. I did not know where she was but with great difficulty, waved my hand at her. Do not interfere.
Seraph was completely right. With my abilities, trying to forcefully Hwajung’s power was but a distant dream. There was some chance of success through the use of the ‘Ancient Miko’ tattoo. But I had no plans to use the tattoo’s strength yet. Nay, it was more accurate to say I had absolutely no plan in the first place to curb Hwajung. Rather, the ‘Ancient Miko’ tattoo would be used to offer a place of refuge for my soon to be companion, Hwajung.
What I desired was not oppression or control. Could any human possibly take in a power equivalent to the h.e.l.lfire? However, if the scenario changed to simply borrowing its power, the situation completely changed.
Opening one of my eyes, I could see a faint outline of Seraph. She was rolling on her feet. Seeing an Angel doing so was quite a unique sight, but I immediately focused my gaze on her face. Till now, it was just a precursor to the main event, which was about to start very soon. I knew it so very well.
It was more complicated than comparing the burst caused by Hwajung to an ordinary explosion. It was not a physical explosion but an explosion of pure energy. An incomparable accompaniment of energy and agony. And then, Hwajung started up in earnest for the first time.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
“G, Gah.”
Without me knowing, consecutive explosions caused my eyes to roll back. The pain from the explosions was unimaginable. In my 10 years in Hall Plain, I experienced so many injuries and pain, but those were all love taps to what I was feeling now. I shuddered at the greater intensity of pain that was coming, but that made me clench my teeth all the harder.
Inside, I was repeating it endlessly. I am Player Kim Su Hyun who saw the end of Hall Plain. In all that time, my patience was endlessly and I persevered eternally. In that 10 years of time, I accomplished something no one managed, I held the Zero Code in my own hands. I did not earn that pride through simple fun and games.
I am not sure if it was the sound of the explosion or Seraph’s voice, as the surrounding was in an uproar. Although, I guess it didn’t really matter as I couldn’t hear properly anyways. With every pa.s.sing second, the energy from Hwajung was increasing steadily. And when I felt it was about to erupt once more, I pulled every fibre of my being in awakening my Magic Power to stimulate Hwajung’s energy.
As I applied the vast 90 point of Magic Power, the energy that Hwajung was about to let off tapered off for a moment. It was no more than a mere moment, but I could give off a weak smile. My Magic Power mixed with Hwajung’s energy without any difficulty.
The concentration of pure fire. An eternally blazing fire. The Hwajung had a will of its own. Containing a ‘self’ it was similar but also different to an Ego equipment that chose its own master. The difference was the ‘will.’ By its will, it could exert or refuse to activate its power. It did not have an ego but the emotion was alive. Joining my Magic Power with Hwajung, I was trying to reach a mutual consensus.
The emotion I felt from Hwajung was sheer astonishment. Most of the times, if anything was trying to subvert their insides, trying to control the energy was the normal thing to do. But on the contrary, I was helping it along. I had extended my hand to it. ‘I am not trying to force you to kneel, but an equal partners.h.i.+p where power is borrowed.’ I shouted in my heart with all my honest emotions.
‘I absolutely need you. Go ahead and flip my heart upside down. Search out if I am a fit partner who can borrow your power, make your own decision and show me your judgement.’
In a moment of but just one breath, hot air exhaled through my nostrils and fire streamed out of my nose.
‘Good. I understand.’
It was close, but I managed to receive Hwajung’s approval.
I braced myself. Hwajung was fretting to play, and I guided it to s.p.a.ce where it could. The first target was my right and left arms. As fast as it could, I felt it split its energy and send a t.i.tanic amount toward both directions. Guiding it to the pa.s.sage through my vessels and blood, I felt the energy rus.h.i.+ng down like a wave. Indiscernible, Hwajung reaches the tips of my fingers in an instant and occupied even the microscopic acupoint. Burgle! Burgle!
Tuk! Tuk! Tuk! Tuk!
I felt a strange feeling of bubbles bursting in the blood of my body, it felt good and painful at the same time. A refres.h.i.+ng sound of my blocked vessels being unclogged. Even if it was being forcefully opened, the effect was astounding. What the masters of the past found difficult, Hwajung had punctured through right to the microscopic acupoint located at the tip of my finger. Simultaneously on both my arms, a yellowish ooze and blackish fluid boiled to the surface of the skin. Unable to withstand the heat, it evaporated into the air. The waste and impurities that were hidden deep within my body had impeded Hwajung’s path and was summarily struck. Usually, this would be a cause for celebration but unfortunately, I had no reason to right now.
I felt dizzy even though I had simply guided it through my arms. I gently coax the energy to return to my centre. Fortunately, Hwajung seems done with the part it seized, as it docile followed my will. As the energy that filled both my arms streamed out, my arms hang uselessly. That huge shock had literally made me lose sensation on my arms.
I was worried that at this rate I might lose my arms but I had no desire to undo what happened. Hwajung pestered petulantly at me to quickly take it to different areas, so I hurriedly guided it to the pa.s.sage leading to my legs. It stealthily jostling my back as it came nearer, and as if it waited for an eternity, it rushed down my legs like a fierce wave. Burgle! Burgle!
Tuk! Tuk! Tuk! Tuk!
The process was no different than what happened to both my arms. The result was the same. As the subjugating energy left, my legs couldn’t bear it and again, I lost sensation on another body part. I dropped to the ground flabbily. My current Resistance, Vitality and Magic Power at best could only seem to keep my body from breaking down and keep it in one shape.
Without giving a d.a.m.n, explosions went off in my stretched out body as Hwajung played energetically like a fish that entered water for the very first time. Literally, I was but a moment away from going crazy. I wanted to faint as pain hammered every part of my body, but my superhuman patience weakly held my mind together.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Every time I heard an explosion, a jolt went through my heart and my blood became hot. ‘Isn’t there any more place to play?’ Hwajung called out its intention. I braced myself and asked it to gather more energy first. I would lead it to my last barrier, my head.
With it near my head, I felt fear enter me for the first time. This was uncontrollable fear. Whether it pierced through my head or not, I was at the point I didn’t even want to imagine the pain I would experience. Then.
‘If I don’t want to, maybe I should end it here? Do I even have to raise it to my head? Isn’t this enough?’
I thought the voice whispering in my ear resembled closely with Hwajung’s gentle voice. I was about to nod but I immediately shook no. My rationality told me to stop, but my instinct had already finish guiding the energy to my head.
‘Stupid. Don’t you know you could die?’
“Just this much….”
The preparation was over.
Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Don’t do it.
My mind told me to stop, but my body didn’t care as it remained faithful to my instincts. I screamed out as I sent off Hwajung to the pa.s.sage leading to my head.
“Don’t underestimate me!”
Without me knowing, I spat out those words but my will was conveyed. The energy in my centre began to swirl into life. The energy built up one after another, stopping right below the abdomen. Pulling every strength since I was born, I blazed up the energy. It left a trail of fierce bursts as Hwajung entered my throat in an instant.
“Cough!”
PUHWA!
Nose, mouth, ears, eyes. Every hole in my body was leaking dark crimson blood. All my sensations were ringing an alarm bell. This was the feeling of death.
Whoos.h.!.+ Whroos.h.!.+
Hwajung’s energy flared it’s irritation at an obstruction in my throat if an explosion burst here, only a gruesome end awaited me. Vertigo swept through my body and my mind felt like it jumped off a cliff.
I could feel this was the end. I pulled the energy that rotated in a confused vortex in my throat back down to my abdomen. I was extremely fortunate the energy followed my will and moved down.
‘No matter what, it have to pierce through.’
One…. Two…. Three…. The energy whirled around for a total of ten times as it was putting its finis.h.i.+ng touches. Thinking this would be my last, I rushed the energy toward my head once more. I couldn’t even care about the pain that would visit me soon.
BOOM!
The unreserved shock shook my whole body. The throat was refres.h.i.+ngly unclogged and a path to my head was established. Like before, Hwajung’s energy covered the whole of my head.
I couldn’t see. Thankfully, that was it. My eyes turned on and off for a moment, turning the world into a field of white. Everything else, well, I couldn’t feel anything at all. It was like my memory was cut out in the middle and attached to the next piece.
Whoos.h.!.+ Whroos.h.!.+ Whoos.h.!.+ Whroos.h.!.+
I could barely perceive the situation. It felt like Hwajung was asking me why I resisted in the first place as it made it’s temper known by turning my head upside down non-stop. I felt my brain literally melting.
Pain? Truthfully, when the energy first pierced through me, there was a refres.h.i.+ng feeling. But as my vision slowly returned and the sensation in my body recovered, I could finally feel it. A pain I never wanted to experience in ever again.
‘Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!’ ’
If I could have screamed, I would have screamed at the top of my lungs. The pain had long pa.s.sed what ordinary humans could endure, a different dimensional pain surrounded me. Is this how it feels like if one dunks their head in a blasting furnace? Or dunking oneself in oil and throwing themselves into a pit of fire? No matter how many adversities and hards.h.i.+p I suffered through, in this instant, I earnestly desired death.
A huge explosion that could be seen outside my body, racked through my entire being. The sum of all explosions detonated. Starting from my head, the eternally blazing inferno that is Hwajung claimed owners.h.i.+p as bit by bit it seized my body. Every cell in my body that Hwajung’s energy touched began to sizzle, pain no longer racked through me, rather warmth seeped through. Some time pa.s.sed like that, and my vision return, cloudy as it may. I still couldn’t move my body. Lifting my eyelids that weighed like a ton, I saw a white-faced Seraph who was looking at me vacantly.
‘Am I still alive….?’
If I had to go through such excruciating pain once more, I’d rather die.
The final part was relatively easy compared to opening my head. I slowly gathered all the energy Hwajung spread through my body and gently pulled it to my heart. I don’t know if it like me or not, but Hwajung obediently followed my will and moved.
It was only now that I activated the magic held within the ‘Ancient Miko’s Seal’ tattoo. Hwajung seemed satisfied with running amok earlier that it obediently entered my heart. I felt it neatly settling in.
“Su Hyun! Su Hyun!”
I fainted right then and there. I did not even have a moment to feel relieved.
