He Who Gets Slapped Part 13

The orchestra did not laugh----

JACKSON

Because they were getting it, but the galleries did, because they were looking at the orchestra getting slapped. Your health, HE!

HE

Your's Jim! Tell me, why didn't you let me finish my speech--I was just getting a good start.

JACKSON

[_Seriously_]: My friend, because your speech was a sacrilege.

Politics--all right. Manners--as much as you want. But Providence--leave it in peace. And believe me, friend, I shut your mouth in time. Didn't I, Papa Briquet?

BRIQUET

[_Coming nearer_]: Yes. It was too much like literature. This is not an academy. You forget yourself, HE.

TILLY

But to shut one's mouth--faugh....

BRIQUET

[_In a didactic tone_]: Whenever one shuts one's mouth, it is always high time to shut it, unless one is drinking. Hey, whiskey and soda!

VOICES

Whiskey and soda for the Manager!

MANCINI

But this is obscurantism. Philosophizing again, Briquet?

BRIQUET

I am not satisfied with you to-day, HE. Why do you tease them? They don't like it. Your health! A good slap must be clean like a crystal--fft-fft! right side, left side, and done with it. They will like it; they will laugh, and love you. But in your slaps there is a certain bite, you understand, a certain smell----

HE

But they laughed, nevertheless!

BRIQUET

But without pleasure, without pleasure, HE. You pay, and immediately draw a draft on their bank; it's not the right game--they won't like you.

JACKSON

That's what _I_ tell him. He had already begun to make them angry.

BEZANO

[_Entering_]: Consuelo, where are you? I have been looking for you--come on. [_Both go out. The_ BARON, _after hesitating a while, follows them_. MANCINI _accompanies him respectfully to the door_.]

HE

[_Sighs_]: You don't understand, my dear friends; you are simply old, and have forgotten the smell of the stage.

JACKSON

Aha! Who is old, my young man?

HE

Don't be angry, Jim. It's a play, don't you understand? I become happy when I enter the ring and hear the music. I wear a mask and I feel humorous. There is a mask on my face, and I play. I may say _anything_ like a drunkard. Do you understand? Yesterday when I, with this stupid face, was playing the great man, the philosopher [_he a.s.sumes a proud monumental pose, and repeats the gesture of the play--general laughter_]

I was walking this way, and was telling how great, how wise, how incomparable I was--how G.o.d lived in me, how high I stood above the earth--how glory shone above my head [_his voice changes and he is speaking faster_] then you, Jim, you hit me for the first time. And I asked you, "What is it, they're applauding me?" Then, at the tenth slap, I said: "It seems to me that they sent for me from the Academy?"

[_Acts, looking around him with an air of unconquerable pride and splendour. Laughter. Jackson gives him a real slap._]

HE

[_Holding his face_]: Why?

JACKSON

Because you're a fool, and play for nothing. Waiter, the check.

(_Laughter. The bell calls them to the ring. The actors go out in haste, some running. The waiters collect their money._)

BRIQUET

[_In a sing-song_]: To the ring--to the ring--

MANCINI

I want to tell you something, HE. You are not going yet?

HE

No. I'll take a rest.

BRIQUET

To the ring--to the ring--

[_The clowns as they go sing in shrill, squeaky voices. Little by little they all disappear, and loud music begins. HE seats himself on the sofa with his legs crossed, and yawns._]

MANCINI

HE, you have something none of my ancestors ever had--money. Let's have a nice bottle on you. Waiter, please--[_The waiter who was taking up dishes, brings a bottle of wine and gla.s.ses and goes out._]