He Who Gets Slapped - LightNovelsOnl.com
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ACT II
_The same room, during the evening performance. Occasional music, laughter, shrieks, and applause are audible. Through the small windows, back centre, the light is s.h.i.+ning._
_Consuelo and Baron Regnard occupy the stage; Consuelo wears her stage costume; she sits with her feet on the sofa, a small shawl covering her shoulders. Before her stands the Baron, a tall stout man in evening dress, a rose in his b.u.t.ton-hole; grasping the ground with feet well apart, he gazes at her with convex spider-like eyes._
BARON
Is it true that your father, the Count, has introduced you to a certain Marquis Justi, a very rich man?
CONSUELO
[_Surprised_]: No, he is only joking. I have often heard him speak of a Marquis Justi but I have never seen him----
BARON
And do you know that your father is just a charlatan?
CONSUELO
Oh! Don't say that--Father is such a dear.
BARON
Did you like the jewels?
CONSUELO
Yes, very much. I was very sorry when Father told me I must return them.
He said it would not be nice for me to keep them. I even cried a little about it.
BARON
Your father is only a beggar and a charlatan.
CONSUELO
Oh, no, don't scold him--he loves you so much.
BARON
Let me kiss your hand----
CONSUELO
Oh, no, it isn't proper! One may kiss the hand only when one says how do you do or good-bye. But in the meantime you can't.
BARON
Everybody is in love with you, that is why you and your father make such a fuss about yourselves. Who is that new clown they call HE? I don't like him, he's too shrewd a beast.... Is he in love with you, too? I noticed the way he looked at you....
CONSUELO
[_Laughing_]: Nothing of the kind. He is so funny! He got fifty-two slaps yesterday. We counted them. Think of it, fifty-two slaps! Father said, "if they had only been gold pieces."
BARON
And Bezano, Consuelo.... Do you like him?
CONSUELO
Yes, very much. He is so good-looking. He says that Bezano and I are the most beautiful couple in the world. HE calls him Adam, and me Eve. But that's improper, isn't it? HE is _so_ improper.
BARON
And does HE speak to you very often?
CONSUELO
Yes, often.... But I don't understand him. It seems as if he were drunk.
BARON
"Consuelo"!... It means in Spanish ... Consolation. Your father is an a.s.s.... Consuelo, I love you.
CONSUELO
Talk it over with Father.
BARON
[_Angry_]: Your father is a swindler and a charlatan. He should be turned over to the police. Don't you understand that I _cannot_ marry you?
CONSUELO
But Father says you can....
BARON
No, I cannot. And what if I shoot myself? Consuelo, silly girl, I love you unbearably ... unbearably, do you understand? I am probably mad ...
and must be taken to a doctor, yanked about, beaten with sticks. Why do I love you so much, Consuelo?
CONSUELO
Then, you'd better marry.
