Hacker: Hardpressed Part 23

"I have a feeling you're due though."

My breath hitched at the sudden contact of his hands on my skin. With painstaking patience, he traced the band of my underwear, then over my a.s.s and back down the front where he teased the flesh of my inner thigh. His touch was electric, jolting through me almost painfully. I mustered the strength to push his hand away, praying he'd leave me be, but he only came at me again, cupping me more aggressively through the thin cotton of my panties.

"Don't, Blake. I can't." But G.o.d, did I want to. His mouth and hands on me, to end this terrible torture.

His fingers pressed deliciously against me, stroking me through the separation of the fabric.

"This is mine, Erica. I own your pleasure. You and I both know it," he whispered in my ear, kissing my neck and trailing his tongue along the curve of my ear. Sweet Jesus.

"I can't... I can't do this."

"Yes, you can. You even want to."

He pushed my panties to the side and thumbed my c.l.i.t.

"f.u.c.k, you're already wet for me." His voice was rough, almost pained.

I sucked in a sharp breath, stifling a moan. The direct contact of his expert strokes sent me into orbit. My head fell back and I wanted to cry out for the feelings that rushed over me.

"Do you miss this? My hands on you, f.u.c.king you?"

I bit my lip, not wanting to answer. Seconds later, I was coming. I gripped his shoulders for balance as the force of the o.r.g.a.s.m consumed me. My nails dug in as wave after wave pulsed through me. Heat p.r.i.c.kled my skin, and my mind filled with the singular pleasure that only Blake could give me. f.u.c.k, it had been too long. Need this. Need you. I wanted so badly to tell him.

He pressed soft kisses along my neck and shoulder as the aftershocks tapered off.

"More?"

The vibration of his voice almost launched me into a frenzy all over again. His fingers slid lower into my folds until he was right at the entrance of my p.u.s.s.y, exerting the slightest pressure as if he meant to push into me. He could be there so easily, and then his c.o.c.k. The bed was right there. We could steal a moment and no one would know.

But one indiscretion would only lead to more. I had to get back in control. I had to. I shook my head and took a deep breath to calm my frayed nerves.

"No." My voice was breathy, almost pleading. I pushed his hand away and sidestepped him. I moved unsteadily to the bed with my clothes, my legs weak. My head buzzed as I quickly dressed. He watched, his face seemingly calm, but a storm brewed in his eyes.

I knew that look. It usually came seconds before he had me pressed up against some hard surface, f.u.c.king me or making me wish he were. He leaned back onto the dresser, crossing his legs at the ankle, and sucked the moisture from his fingers. His jeans strained over an erection that he made no effort to conceal.

f.u.c.king h.e.l.l. I tore my gaze away and struggled with the b.u.t.ton of my fly. My hands were trembling too hard. I finally managed it and paused briefly in front of the mirror to a.s.sess the tangled sandy mess that was my hair. I couldn't risk a shower right now. Tangled and sandy would have to do.

I met his gaze again. "I have to go."

"With him?"

"No, I'm going home."

"This is your home."

CHAPTER SIXTEEN.

I spent most of the next day vacillating between fantasizing about Blake's hands on me again and scolding myself for letting him put them there to begin with.

His words had hit me hard. Homeless and rootless, I'd been floating through my life since leaving him. A satellite in orbit with no destination, no purpose. The most solid ground for me was with Blake, a place I'd abandoned. Even when our lives hung in the balance, I couldn't deny that.

The moment at the apartment had been brief, but I was walking a dangerous line. What if he started pursuing me again? I'd finally gotten Daniel and Connor off his scent, and here I was dancing with disaster again.

My phone dinged with a text from Alli.

A: Can you talk?

I waited a few minutes before responding, not wanting to seem like I really had time.

E: Tied up at work. Will call later.

A: I've heard that before. You're a broken record.

I set the phone down, noting the time. She was on her lunch break with limited time. If I could get through the next half hour, I'd be in the clear until she got off work, which was always late. I jumped when the phone rang. She was calling me. I turned off the volume and let it go to voicemail. I couldn't talk to her right now. I had no idea what Heath had told her or what I would say. I'd rather say nothing than lie to my best friend.

A: If you don't call me soon, I'm going to hunt you down. You realize that, right?

I smiled. Alli and her empty threats. I opened my photo app and flipped through the last photos I'd taken. I'd snapped a series of selfies with Blake in the limo on the way to the gala. He looked das.h.i.+ng in his tux and was making funny faces in half of them, pretending to be attacking me in the background.

I laughed and my heart twisted. I rubbed at the ache in my chest. My heart, that empty place, had started pulsing back to life again. Since I left the apartment yesterday, I'd remembered what being happy with him felt like, as happy as I'd been in the photos. The last time I felt anything close to that was at the beach with James, but the moment had been short-lived. By some miracle, he'd had me laughing and forgetting my reality. I had to give him credit for that.

I put the phone down. I needed to stop torturing myself. I'd come a long way to keep Blake safely out of my life. Further than I ever thought I'd come. Now I was on a high-speed train moving backwards, letting the addictive, potent moments I'd shared with Blake take hold again.

I checked the clock. Time to make my daily attempt at a meal. What I really wanted was an adult beverage, but that would have to wait. I moseyed down to Mocha and looked over a menu at a table in the corner.

"Hey, woman."

Simone slid into the chair opposite me.

"Hey," I said.

"What's new?"

"Oh, you know. Same old stuff. Work is busy."

"Yeah? How's investor guy?" She pursed her lips and propped her chin up on her hand. She looked like she was in the mood to gossip. This worried me, because I wasn't.

"He's fine."

"And how's James? Still in love with you, I imagine."

"I'm not sure that's what I'd call it."

"In l.u.s.t?" Her eyebrows shot up, as if that wasn't entirely a bad thing either.

"No, it's not like that. He's a good guy. I don't know. There's definitely an attraction there."

"Are you thinking about ditching investor guy for him?"

I shook my head. "I'm not with Blake anymore, but no, I'm not ready to be with anyone else. I like being friends with James, but I also feel like I'm not being fair to him because I know he wants more. Does that make me a b.i.t.c.h?"

She shrugged. "He's a big boy. If you consider him a friend, I'm pretty sure he picked up on the fact that you're probably not ready for another relations.h.i.+p. If he wants to push the issue and risk being rejected, that's on him."

I sighed. "Maybe you're right. I just don't want this to blow up in my face one day."

"There's always that chance when you let relations.h.i.+ps blossom at work."

"I know. I get it, but I feel like it's too late for that now, you know? I can't just tell him that we can't be friends anymore without causing a lot of tension."

"Sounds like you've already got enough tension."

I groaned. "I know. Jesus, what a mess."

"Well don't break his heart too badly because when you drop him, I'm coming in with a vengeance."

I laughed. "Why wait? Do me a favor and deflect some of this off of me."

"Believe it or not, Erica, I consider you a friend, and I'm not about to voluntarily engage in a love triangle with you."

"That should be easy because I'm not in love with James. I don't expect I ever will be."

"What if he loves you though?"

I shook my head. "That's impossible." We'd only known each other a few weeks. Plus, he worked for me. Then again, Blake and I had known each other only a few weeks before I was already head over heels for him. But James and I weren't sleeping together. Nothing was nearly as intense as my relations.h.i.+p with Blake in the beginning. I'd fought so hard to stay away, only to find myself back in his arms, happier than I'd ever been. Our happiness had been too brief.

"What are you thinking about?"

I frowned. "Why?"

"Because you just got all dreamy. I have to know, who were you thinking about just then?"

"I was thinking about Blake actually."

She smiled. "Well, there you go."

I stared back at Simone. She was like a wise Sufi in her own right.

I rubbed out my frown. "I wish it were that simple. I really do."

"Well, don't fret, okay? You'll figure things out. I don't know what to tell you about Blake, but when it comes to James, be honest with him. That's all you can really do."

"I know. You're right."

"Let me get you something to eat before you waste away on me."

"Sure." I grabbed a menu and hoped something would catch my eye.

James popped in at the end of the day, his smile a welcome sight.

"Hey, I'm hitting the gym after work tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?"

I laughed a little. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

His eyes got wide for a second. "Definitely not. You have an amazing body. But I thought you might want to blow off some steam. That usually helps me when I'm stressed out."

My face heated at the compliment. He needed to stop saying things like that. I should have told him, but I didn't.

"Are you stressed out?"

"I don't know. Maybe." He s.h.i.+fted his weight a little, as if the question made him uncomfortable.

I tried to ignore the little voice saying that was probably my fault.

"What do you say?" He abruptly interrupted my little voice.

"You're determined to cure me of my malaise, aren't you?"

He grinned. "Yes. I like happy Erica. I also like drunk Erica. We should go out for drinks again sometime."

My thoughts went back to that night at the bar, when he couldn't keep his hands or his eyes off of me. "Let's stick with the gym."

"Cool."

I hadn't been to the gym in a while. A little part of me wanted to bow out when the time came the next day. The fatigue alone was enough of a deterrent, but James was right. I needed an outlet. Maybe I'd wear myself out enough to get some decent sleep for a change. We decided on a place down the street where he'd just picked up a members.h.i.+p.

James showed me around and went to hit the weights. I found an empty treadmill and set what I thought was an aggressive program. I wanted to sweat and burn, see if I had enough mental strength to physically run myself into the ground. Maybe I could crush out the last of this pain. I put in my ear buds and pushed myself into a rhythm, almost eager for the challenge ahead.

I vaguely noticed someone step onto the machine next to me. I stayed focused on the music and my pace until my headphone was yanked out. I nearly lost my footing. Blake stood next to me. My breath caught at the sight of him. I thought we'd have more time apart before I had to face him again.

"What are you doing here?"

"I work out here. Wanna race?"

He smiled, reminding me of the playful, teasing lover I used to wake up to every morning. He also reminded me of all the o.r.g.a.s.ms I wasn't having since we'd broken up, except for that one delightful slip up.

"That hardly seems fair."

"Maybe not. I'm a little out of shape though. My endurance isn't what it usually is."