Starseed. Part 27

She stripped off the silver bodysuit and flung it out to her bedroom. Woofy scurried over, sniffed the suit. He put his tail between his legs and ran to the door.

Kaila had to revert to who she was-whoever that was-and cleanse off this filth.

She showered, rubbing the face cloth brusquely over her skin. As her skin turned pink, she realized she could not rub out the blood flowing in her veins. For no matter what, she was still half them.

But she was half human too. She had a choice about how to live her life. Perhaps that's what Priscilla Snowden meant when she talked of free will. Free will to choose. Our thoughts, our words, our actions, our relations.h.i.+ps . . .

Kaila blow-dried her hair, put on an old t-s.h.i.+rt and jeans. Who gives a s.h.i.+t about prep or dork or poser or any of that moron high school s.h.i.+t? She could be whomever she wanted. But now, the only certainty was what she did not want to be.

Kaila wrapped her head in the black plastic, put on the wig. She would use every resource to block them forever and completely. They would come for her, she knew.

And what could she do about Pia and Melissa? She knew why they were so afraid, so tired. And worse, what would continue to happen if she did nothing.

Who could she talk to? Who could she go to for help?

The whole thing was staggering. She was but one being. What could she do? There were millions of them . . . and everyone here on earth was asleep and programmed to mock and deride anything to do with aliens . . . yet the culture adored vampires.

Stupid fools, they didn't know that the real vampires were here, feeding on them while they romanticized some horses.h.i.+t about the undead. Idiots! A twinge of guilt nagged, for she had fed from humans, viewed them as prey.

Kaila sat at her desk, put her head in her hands, thinking of Jordyn. She had believed in him. She had loved him. Her throat tightened; her ribs constricted. She couldn't breathe. Where was her purse? By her bed as usual. She retrieved her inhaler and inhaled a puff as hot tears burned.

She thought how Jordyn felt when they danced and he held her-stop! Don't think that. She thought of his flat, unseeing eyes, when he was under their control. Kaila s.h.i.+vered, recalling how she, herself, had been under control. She had been consumed, becoming part of the group consciousness of the hive. To fulfill the mission.

But she hadn't known what the mission was-Jordyn did. She recalled the terror of the people, their cries, the fetuses floating in blue water.

Lucy scratched at the door.

As Kaila's vision blurred, she went to the dogs. Don't be afraid, she said with her mind. Lucy looked at her with concern and fear. She knelt and petted Lucy and Woofy.

"I'm sorry," she said, crying.

She buried her head in their fur, weeping softly, ma.s.saging their ears. The dogs responded, licking her face, wagging their tails in delight, knowing instinctively that the human Kaila had finally come home.

When Kaila came downstairs, she saw her family seated at the breakfast table. The odor of bacon and coffee filled the kitchen. She had never been more grateful to see her mother, Mike, and Nan.

"What's up with you?" Mike asked. Kaila wondered exactly what he referred to. "You've come back to Earth and taken off that silver suit, I see. That suit was getting old, I agree. Lee, pa.s.s me another biscuit."

"What day is it?" Kaila asked.

"It's Sat.u.r.day," her mother said. "Are you feeling all right? You are pale."

"Are you teaching yoga this morning?" Kaila asked.

"Sure," Lee said, layering b.u.t.ter and strawberry jam on her biscuit. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Um," Kaila said. "I'm gonna do the cla.s.s with you, and then after that I'd like to have a talk with you all."

She would tell her mother and Nan everything. They had to know, for their protection and for what would come. And also, she would ask to take Melissa and Pia in at night so she could protect them. Though she could not protect the world, she could at least protect her friends and family. The best way was the truth. She could not hide under a plastic lie anymore.

Paw Paw lay in his recliner. One look, and she knew. He was dying. Kaila ran to him.

He looked like a bald skeleton with dark eyes. The latest round of chemotherapy and radiation must have stunned his body into collapse.

Remorse flooded Kaila. She'd been a zombie indoctrinated by the stupid hive teachings while her own grandfather lay at home dying. Every muscle in her body tensed-they could have healed him but didn't. Their mission was more important. Kaila wanted to simultaneously bomb them off the planet and collapse crying at her stupidity.

"I'm afraid," Paw Paw said to Kaila, as he sat up in his recliner. "This time next week, I won't be able to get up."

"Of course you will." Kaila knelt before him. Her thoughts raced. Could she heal him? She lifted her gaze to the ceiling, trying to glimpse far beyond into the universe. Her eyes opened wide.

"What are you doing?" Paw Paw murmured.

Kaila stared her black eyes at her grandfather.

"Rest, Paw Paw." He went still. She looked toward the kitchen and froze Nan, Mike, and her mother. Then she stood straight as a soldier, stared at her grandfather and concentrated.

"Heal," she said aloud, balling her fists.

Energy emanated from her brain like an electric river.

"Heal!" she said louder. She summoned every circuit in her brain, pouring energy outward, all the while realizing she hadn't received the instruction on healing.

No hologram was forthcoming.

"I refuse to accept this," Kaila said. "I can do this." She swallowed the lump in her throat. She tried another way. Closing her eyes, she lifted her chin. "Please, please heal."

The awful dead stillness of the time lock felt like a tomb at midnight. "I am begging, please heal him. I am begging you with all my heart and soul, please heal him."

Kaila concentrated with every muscle, every fiber, every cell, every atom in her body, shooting her will outward. Thick silence encroached on her ears. She opened her eyes. Paw Paw sat on the recliner, suspended in time, pale, thin, bald.

Kaila realized she hadn't the power to heal. She had the power to abduct and harm humans but could not heal.

"d.a.m.n you!" she shouted in the vacuum. "d.a.m.n you all to h.e.l.l."

She crumpled to her knees. She took Paw Paw's frail hand in hers, pressed it to her lips. "I'm sorry, Paw Paw. I tried."

She stifled a sob as her eyes went black. She nodded and returned her family in the wheel of time.

"I'm afraid," Paw Paw said to Kaila, as he sat up in his recliner. "This time next week, I won't be able to get up."

Kaila was silent, her heart breaking, her Paw Paw blurring.

Paw Paw lifted his head. "Do you know, Goosy," he said. "How much I love you?"

"Oh, Paw Paw," Kaila whispered. Lucy licked his hand. Woofy panted at Kaila, his lower tooth sticking out.

"I saw a ghost last night," Paw Paw said. "She walked through the house, floated into the living room. And she looked at me. She looked old fas.h.i.+oned with a long gown."

Kaila grew afraid. Paw Paw had always been pragmatic, one for horses, dogs, or football, but not ghosts. Had they come to feed on his pain and fear? So help her G.o.d, none of those predators would come near her or any of her loved ones again. She'd rip them a new a.s.shole and blast them to the next galaxy.

But how? Her mind whirled. What could she do?

Kaila returned to the breakfast table.

"It's the drugs," Nan whispered. "And the cancer. They do things to the mind. Makes him think he sees things." She absently sipped her coffee. "But sometimes," she said. "I think he's seeing our relatives who are gone and waiting to meet him."

Nan burst into tears. "What will I do without him?" she sobbed. "We been together sixty years."

"Stop that cryin' woman!" Paw Paw called from his recliner.

In the ensuing silence, as Lee looked tearfully at Nan, Kaila realized that she could not reveal anything right now. This was not the time. She would have to handle this alone.

In her mother's yoga cla.s.s in the parlor, Kaila performed the poses, inhaling full, conscious breaths. After, in meditation she dove deep inside her mind. She recalled that yoga and meditation were over five thousand years old.

Doing the physical poses cleared the mind for meditation. By clearing the mind of thought, it offered peace, and more so, protection from the feeders. They could not feed if your mind was serene, free from anger or despair.

Humans had been taught divisions. In race, religion, s.e.x, politics, and cla.s.s. Even in school, the clothes defined you, and thus divided you. But the clothes were not who you really were. Yet they'd all bought into it. She had bought into it.

She lay on her mat meditating, aware that the cla.s.s had ended. People were leaving.

There was a key here, but what. She heard voices in her mind.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

These voices sounded different. She recalled Priscilla Snowden coming . . . was this her? Or was this them, attempting a mind-screen to lure her back?

She pondered what she had just heard.

To get an answer, one had to go inside and a.n.a.lyze how it felt. Ultimately, her gut never lied. This didn't feel predatory.

She opened her eyes. Her mother hovered over her. Kaila knew that her mother had been abducted, and why she'd been so insistent on Kaila wearing the black plastic and caps. Her mother didn't remember, but at a subconscious level, she knew. Just like Pia and Melissa. But more than that, she saw her mother's care and concern.

"Are you okay?" her mother asked. "You've been distant lately."

Kaila rose and put her arms around her mother.

"What's with the hug?" Lee asked. "That's not like you."

"I guess it's time to grow up and say thank you, Mom. You've always had my best interests in mind."

Lee held the back of her hand to Kaila's forehead. "You feeling okay?"

"Mom, I have some friends who are going through some stuff. Do you mind if they spend the night?"

"We have a huge house with lots of rooms. They're welcome anytime."

Kaila hugged her mother again. Nothing from those outside worlds could compete with this; humans had something aliens never could understand. Still, her throat caught, her eyes filled with the thought of him-no, block it out!

"Something you want to talk about?" her mother asked.

"We'll talk," Kaila said. "There's just so much going on now."

Her grandfather was dying. She'd been betrayed by the one she'd loved. Half her blood was of them. And now she knew the horrifying truth of their intent.

Her mother, thinking of Paw Paw, said, "It's going to be very hard."

"Yeah, Mom. It is."

They held one another in the centuries-old parlor.

Sometimes a text message won't suffice. Kaila called Pia and Melissa on a three-way. She apologized profusely for defecting. She explained that she'd broken up with Jordyn.

Their long silence stung. Yet, she didn't blame them one bit.

"I'm so sorry," Kaila repeated for the fifth time.

More silence. Kaila added, "I want you to come over tonight and have a sleepover."

"I don't know," Melissa replied. "I'm tired. Felt like I didn't sleep a wink last night."

"Me too," Pia added. "Feel like I was run over by a truck."

As a last-ditch effort at reconciliation, Kaila whispered, "Do you remember when we swore we were a triad and how you guys wanted me to help you?"

Silence.

Pia finally bit. "Yeah?"

"Well, I want to help you guys," she said.

Pia sighed. "I hope this is real, Kaila. You better not be pulling anything."

Ouch. Kaila realized that though they might not remember the abductions, their subconscious did. And with the horrific things done to them at night, then having a screen memory implanted to mask the actual event, then seeing her cavort around with the aliens, no wonder they were guarded.

"Pia," Kaila said. "You have my word, as a human, with a heart, and part of our triad that I will do everything in my power to make it up to you and help you."

The second Kaila entered the barn, she knew the horses were mad. They stared accusingly.

"I don't blame you for being mad," she said, taking Perseus's lead.

"Course they're mad," Mike called from Pegasus's stall. "You been so involved with that boy, you been ignoring everyone. They know when they're last on the list."

Mike stopped shoveling hay, put his hands on the top of the shovel. "Hey," he said. "We got some bad times coming. It would be nice if you were around. Your mom's going to need you."

"I know, I know," Kaila said.