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I sigh as I sit back down beside Julie.
"You went through all that alone. You lost Cole and then you lost his baby, your baby." She exclaims.
I explain to Julie that the loss of the baby is what bonded Luke and me as friends. He understood what it was like to lose the person you love. He knew what it felt like to lose a child. He was the only one who truly got it. He encouraged me repeatedly to tell Cole. I still fight telling Cole although being back in Belmont I realize that my time is drawing short, and he is going to have to be told.
"I still don't want to have that conversation with Cole."
My thoughts travel back to the hospital this afternoon. I can't believe I f.u.c.ked Cole in Drew's hospital room. Who does that? I guess we do. It was as if five years of pent up frustration, anger and love exploded like a nuclear bomb in that room today. I knew it would be weird seeing Cole for the first time in so long, but I had no idea we would have s.e.x the first day much less in the first two hours.
"Cole and I f.u.c.ked in Drew's hospital room," I blurt again.
"You what?" she chokes out and I can't tell if she is shocked or trying not to laugh.
"Excuse me?" Luke says, his face is easy to read with the smile on his face. I can tell he's struggling not to bust out laughing.
"Yep, went at each other like wild animals with Drew lying asleep in the bed," I state.
The three of us look from one to the other and bust out laughing. The tensions of today are released in that moment for all of us. The idea of what Cole and I did is horridly funny.
"After y'all left the dining room Cole kept being an a.s.s," Luke says while rubbing the back of his neck "I had to stop mid rant and walk out, so I didn't say something you would kill me over."
I smile at Luke.
"I'm glad you didn't let secrets fly. Had to resist punching him too huh?"
"I wanted to punch him. I told him he wasn't the one there picking up your pieces I was," he pauses "He is probably full of questions though."
"I'm sure you did."
Cole is not stupid; he would play Luke's words over in his mind. My only hope is that this stuff with Sal distracts him from coming to me with the questions.
After our conversation, we all end up lying together in my bed with Luke between Julie and me. When my laughter turns to sobs. Julie climbs over Luke and he s.h.i.+fts his body and me so that he and Julie can both comfort me. I don't speak for the longest time, because I can't. I just sob. Luke and Julie both wrap arms around me holding me while I cry.
When I finish crying I choke out "I'm sorry, it still hurts when I think about the baby not like it was in the beginning, but it still hits me hard sometimes."
"Don't apologize," Julie says softly "I can't even imagine what it must be like for you,"
I lay there wrapped in my two friends' arms, my life has been far from easy but I'm determined to overcome all the obstacles. I will never let myself become a victim. Each situation while tough at the time has made me a stronger person. Sal Martin was just another one of those situations. He would pay for what happened to Drew, one way or another.
Cole better keep his promise to let me be involved with the payback for Drew. I would be p.i.s.sed if he didn't keep his word on this. Sal f.u.c.ked with my family five years ago, he didn't learn his lesson, and this time I would make sure he never f.u.c.ked with us again, even if I had to kill him myself.
The bada.s.s who grew up in Belmont is slowly coming back. The girl I had suppressed for years. The one who had shot someone and would have no problem doing it again. However, I am no longer a girl, I am a young woman and smarter. I have nothing to lose, I am a Knight.
Cole and I may not be together, but Sal f.u.c.ked up going after him. I would always love and protect Cole. My brother is a casualty of Sal coming after Cole. He really wants me. The girl who took him down. The woman I had become would fight for her family, d.a.m.n the consequences.
The next morning, I wake in my bed alone. Julie and Luke left at some point after I cried myself to sleep. Stretching my arms above my head, I kick my legs over the side of the bed. I head for the bathroom. I turn the handles on the huge garden tub and begin filling it up as I take care of other morning business. My muscles are aching this morning. It's a mix from the travel and the activity with Cole. My body is tense from all the stress as well. Worrying about Drew, seeing Cole, f.u.c.king Cole, telling Julie my secrets.
I strip my clothes, tossing them in the dirty clothesbasket. Thankful to Ms. Bea for running out and buying me a few things to get me through the next couple of days. I would have to make time to go to the store myself, but for now I had the items she bought me. As I pa.s.s the mirror, I notice that I have bruises on various places on my body. There is an evident bite mark where my neck and shoulder meet. HOLY s.h.i.+T! Is this what happened with Cole yesterday? I have bruises on my backside, my arms, my legs, my inner thigh and my hand lightly brushes across a bruise on my breast.
A huge grin breaks out across my face. Each bruise is a testament to the pa.s.sion Cole and I have for one another. My s.e.x constricts at the thought of what it took to get those bruises. I want to do it again. There is some joy in my life this morning.
Sinking into the tub, my muscles relax. My head leans against the end of the tub, my eyes close as I relax. I almost wish I could stay here forever. Too bad that's not in my future. I will have to get out eventually and dress for the hospital. I promised Bruce I would stay at the house at night, but I am ready to get back to Drew.
The faint sound of shuffling causes my eyes to pop open. I'm not alone in the bathroom. Cole stands in the doorway I watch as he closes and locks the door behind him. He leans back against the door his eyes staring at me with an intensity that makes me s.h.i.+ver. His eyes fill with l.u.s.t as he continues to watch me.
"Cole, what the h.e.l.l are you doing in here?"
He doesn't answer me instead; he begins moving closer to me in silence. I don't move for fear of him seeing all the bruises he left on my body.
"Cole?"
I still get no response from Cole. He kicks off his shoes as he walks closer. What the f.u.c.k is he doing? His s.h.i.+rt is removed next. Oh h.e.l.l no he isn't doing what I think he is... My heart speeds up. He's not even answering me. He just keeps stripping until his beautiful, toned body covered in ink is standing right in front of me. He's still at the edge of the tub. He has not said one word. Surely the a.s.shole is not about to get in the tub with me? I should say something to him, right?
Cole steps into the tub behind me. I move forward without thought. I guess I'm going to let him in the tub with me. I shouldn't, but I am. I move forward until his legs slide alongside mine as the water sloshes around us. His hard chest is up against my back. He leans against the back of the tub. I'm frozen in place.
"Lean back" he tells me in a soft, raspy tone.
Once again, I obey him without complaint. Something is wrong with me. Why am I letting Cole do this? Why am I doing this?
"Cole?"
"Don't talk just let me hold you." he says.
I shut my mouth. It's nice to be in his arms. Now is not the time for us to argue or talk. We just lay there enjoying the feel of one another. Skin to skin. I tilt my head to the side a little, his eyes are closed. He's relaxed and peaceful. His eyes open as he senses I'm looking at him. Those gorgeous eyes stare down out me. They are full of emotion right now. I'm so f.u.c.ked! He still loves me as much as I love him. I don't know how our love has withstood five years of separation, but it has. His head comes down and his lips meet mine in a tender kiss. My body tingles all over. I get lost in the kiss. I want so much more. He pulls back smiling.
"I can't stay away from you. I should, but I can't." He says quietly.
"Cole,"
"I wish I hated you it'd be so much easier."
"Cole please."
I beg and at that moment I am not sure what I pleading for.
"Kitten, let me have you as long as I can." he paralyzes me with those words.
What does he mean for as long as he can? Until I head back to California? Move back to Belmont and let this play out? Risking another broken heart?
"Why?" I ask him.
"Because, I only exist without you. When I am with you, I am alive."
I stare at him unsure what to say.
"I f.u.c.ked up five years ago, I didn't listen to you. I can't let you walk away again without trying. This time I'm listening." He exhales "Even if you tell me to go to h.e.l.l."
"Cole. "
At this point he is probably tired of hearing me say his name. There seem to be no words for what I am feeling. I don't know how to respond to him. I turn in the tub to face him.
"There's so much at risk. I'm scared to let you in again."
He turns me back around pulling my back against his chest. His arms wrap around me again. My body melts into him.
"This is all up to you Kitten. I'll do whatever you want."
I'm going to regret this. My mind races. The time I was with him and happy. The time I was without him and miserable. I have to try I will regret it more if I don't give Cole a chance again.
"Bruce's going to have us at the altar by the weekend when he catches on to the fact I'm giving you another chance."
He places a small kiss on the top of my head. "Thank you Kitten. I'm going to be the man you need this time."
We soak until the water chills. As we dry off, we exchange coy glances. Cole just took a bath with me. He just held me. No s.e.x, no hint of wanting it even though his body betrayed him.
This feels like a fairytale. However, this is no fairytale. As soon as we walk out of my bedroom the nightmare will begin.
Chapter 16.
I walk out of the bathroom. I'm a little shaken by the fact I just agreed to give Cole another chance. I hope I'm doing the right thing.
The bags of clothes Ms. Bea bought me yesterday are sitting on the dresser and I rummage through them to find something to wear to the hospital today. As I am digging through a bag, Cole comes out of the bathroom dressed. He walks up to me grabs my hair, pulls me back toward him, and plants a kiss on me.
"See ya" he says before sauntering out the door.
What. The. h.e.l.l.
That man just kissed me senseless and walks out like it was no big deal. My instinct is to chase after him and kick him. Instead, I dress with a huge grin on my face. I'm still grinning as I walk into the hallway.
"Holy s.h.i.+t" I scream while my hands cover my heart "You scared the c.r.a.p out of me."
Luke is standing with his back against the wall arms crossed a huge grin on his face.
"Was it a good morning?"
"What are you talking about?"
I feign innocence.
"Cole came out of your room as I was coming down the hall."
"So? That don't mean anything."
"No, but that huge grin on your face does."
I shrug my shoulders.
"Whatever, it's not a big deal."
"Shorty, really? This is me you're talking to, so what's going on?"
Luke isn't going to let this go. I sigh, but the grin remains planted on my face. There is no way I can hide that Cole and I are back together. I'm going to have to tell him about this morning.
"Fine we talked this morning. I... well I'm going to give him another chance. I figure I'll be here long enough for Drew's recovery to determine if it's worth moving back to Belmont for."
"Wow" he moves away from the wall to stand near me "You're really doing it huh?"
"I have to, I don't want to regret anything in my life ever again."
"I get it Shorty. I'll support you. Bruce's going to love this."
"Shut up."
I walk down the hall toward the stairs. I hear Luke laughing behind me. Jerk! We make our way downstairs to the kitchen where the cook is serving breakfast. Cole, Justin, and Seth are sitting at the table already eating.
Luke and I sit down at the table he is still whispering to me about Cole coming out of my room. Cole is watching us with a look of scorn. This may not turn out well.
"Shorty, you know I can keep a secret."
Luke says to me one last time as we join the Knight brothers at the table.
"Shut up Luke!" I tell him jokingly "It's not really a secret."
Luke chuckles at my words. The three Knight brothers look at us strangely.
"What?" I ask innocently.
No one says anything as a plate of waffles is placed in front of me. I dig into the food, cutting my waffles up and loading them with syrup.
"What kind of secrets is Kat keeping now?" Justin asks.
"f.u.c.k that! That b.i.t.c.h is crazy scary when angry," Luke says with a laugh. "I'm not telling her secrets."
Ignoring Luke and Justin as they continue to give me a hard time about secrets and my being scary. I focus on Seth who is thankfully ignoring the guys.
"Good morning Seth!"
"Mornin' Kat" he mumbles with a mouthful of food.
It's the middle of June, Seth is on summer break from school. As a young boy, I can only imagine what adventures he will be getting into.