Inside Out Part 11

Bull swallowed and hoped to G.o.d Zach was right.

Chapter 8.

BULL HAD HAD fallen back to sleep, and Zach watched him for a while before getting out of bed and leaving the room. Bull needed his rest, and Zach didn't want to keep him up. Thankfully, he didn't have to go to work. He had no plans for the day and he hoped Bull didn't either. Zach located the small bag he'd brought with him and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a T-s.h.i.+rt. fallen back to sleep, and Zach watched him for a while before getting out of bed and leaving the room. Bull needed his rest, and Zach didn't want to keep him up. Thankfully, he didn't have to go to work. He had no plans for the day and he hoped Bull didn't either. Zach located the small bag he'd brought with him and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a T-s.h.i.+rt.

He went to the living room and turned on Bull's television, keeping the volume low. He got comfortable and let himself become engrossed in Hot in Cleveland Hot in Cleveland.

"What's so funny?" Bull asked, rubbing his eyes as he wandered into the room naked.

"I'm glad the curtains are closed; otherwise we'd have a stampede," Zach said as he stood up. "They'd want you for themselves, but I don't share."

Bull wrapped his arms around him, and Zach hummed contentedly. "I don't share either," Bull growled deep and long. Zach s.h.i.+vered as Bull slid his warm hands down his back, then pushed his sweats down his hips until they pooled on the floor. Zach stepped out of them, and Bull placed his hands under Zach's b.u.t.t and hoisted him upward. Zach wrapped his legs around Bull's waist. Bull kissed him hard, turned around, and carried him back to the bedroom. Bull laid him on the bed and stilled. Zach wondered if something was wrong.

"I've been to war, looked the enemy in the eyes. I've seen things that would make most men gouge their eyes out," Bull said. "I'm afraid of very little, but the thought of being without you scares me to death. I can yell, scream, use my voice to stop a tank, but telling you how I feel seems impossible."

"You don't have to say anything you aren't ready for," Zach said, stroking Bull's cheek. "I know how you feel about me."

"But you deserve to hear me say it. I'm not going to be one of those guys who gets mushy all the time. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, but you deserve to hear me say how I feel." Bull stroked his cheek, and Zach locked his gaze onto Bull's. His heart pounded as he waited for what Bull had to say. "I love you, Zach."

"I love you too," Zach said. Closing his eyes, he tugged Bull down to him. They kissed, and this time Zach took charge. Bull's lips parted, and Zach surged his tongue forward, taking possession of Bull's mouth, letting him know just how special he felt. When Bull moaned softly, Zach smiled against his lips.

"What?" Bull asked, pulling away slightly.

"I like that I can make you sound like that," Zach said, pulling him back into a kiss.

They made love quietly and deeply. Zach loved when Bull got energetic, but he also loved slow, intimate movements. The headboard didn't bang, the bed only swayed a little, but Zach's body tingled with desire and his c.o.c.k throbbed and jumped, bouncing against his stomach as he held on as long as he possibly could. Bull held him tight as Zach plunged over the edge, and this time he felt Bull throb deep inside him.

Zach sighed and closed his eyes, holding Bull tight as afterglow flowed over him. He didn't want to move. Everything was perfect right now, and he wanted it to last. Zach s.h.i.+vered slightly when their bodies separated, but he didn't move until Bull got out of bed and gently helped him into the bathroom. He turned on the water, and they stepped into the shower. Bull took up most of the s.p.a.ce, which meant Zach had to stay close. That was fine with him. Bull faced the shower, and Zach held him around the waist, resting against him. The proximity to Bull's skin was already having an effect.

"You are a minx," Bull said as he slowly turned around.

Zach looked down at his d.i.c.k, already pointing toward Bull, and then raised his gaze and smiled. "Do you think that someday I might get to...." He swallowed, wondering how Bull would react. "... do you?"

Bull pulled him close. "It isn't something I really enjoy, or haven't in the past, but yes, I'd like you to make love to me." Bull kissed him, and Zach moaned, the water cascading over them.

ZACH HAD HAD intended to make breakfast after their shower, but that got delayed a number of times. By the time they left the bedroom, they were both starving. Bull took him out to lunch, which was interrupted by a phone call, and then dropped him at his apartment in the afternoon. Bull had said he had some errands to run, but he followed Zach inside. intended to make breakfast after their shower, but that got delayed a number of times. By the time they left the bedroom, they were both starving. Bull took him out to lunch, which was interrupted by a phone call, and then dropped him at his apartment in the afternoon. Bull had said he had some errands to run, but he followed Zach inside.

"I thought you had things to do?" Zach asked.

"I do, but...." Bull sat down and Zach's old sofa creaked slightly. "I have a confession to make, and I hope you aren't going to be angry with me."

Zach lowered himself in a chair, wondering what was wrong.

"A few weeks ago, after I met your uncle, I called a few people from my unit who are now in law enforcement."

"Bull," Zach said, his stomach roiling. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything other than ask them to take a look into your uncle's behavior. He isn't normal. That call I got at lunch, when I stepped away from the table, was from one of my contacts. I didn't tell you then because I thought it better that you hear this in private." Bull paused, and Zach leaned forward, wis.h.i.+ng he'd just tell him. "They've built a case, and your uncle is going to be arrested."

"Oh," Zach said. "I guess I wasn't the only person he beat when they displeased him."

Bull leaned forward and reached out to touch Zach's leg. "Your uncle is being arrested primarily for arson and murder."

"I don't...." Zach gasped. "Are you saying...?" Zach stilled as his heart beat in his ears. "Is this because of my parents?"

"Yes. The story you told me about the way your parents died rubbed me the wrong way. It was too simplistic and convenient. So I pa.s.sed your story on to some friends with keen investigative skills. It seems your uncle had a lot of ways to keep people from leaving his sphere of influence. He coerced people, beat them like he did you, and G.o.d knows what else. But none of those things were working on your parents. It's all coming out now, but it seems your parents were getting ready to leave, and your uncle couldn't have that. If his relatives left, then others would as well."

"So he burned down their house with them in it?" Zach could barely speak as the grief he'd carried for so long welled back to the surface.

"It appears so. I don't have any details because it's an open case, and some of what I just told you I shouldn't even know. But this is too important for me to keep quiet about." Bull knelt next to Zach's chair, and Zach reached out, throwing himself at him.

"What am I going to do?"

"Answer the agents' questions and testify at your uncle's trial regarding how you were treated. I know this is hard, but at least you know now. There had to be some suspicion in the back of your mind just from the way you told me the story. Now you know the truth."

Zach blinked. "The b.a.s.t.a.r.d," he swore. "He took everything away from me, even them!" He clenched his fists tightly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but I didn't know that anything would come of it." Bull held him tightly. "I do love you."

"I know," Zach whispered.

"I hope it helps," Bull said.

Zach held him tighter. "It helps a lot," he croaked and then buried his head against Bull's shoulder and cried. How long he stayed that way, he wasn't sure. The tears eventually dried, but he held Bull anyway, needing to be close to him. "It seems stupid to be grieving over all this again. They've been gone for a while, and I've moved on."

"No, it's not-thinking your folks died in an accident is very different from knowing they were deliberately hurt," Bull told him. "I've seen a lot of people die in my life. I've killed people. It was war, and that was my job. Sometimes I can see the people I've killed in my sleep. But I've never hurt anyone who wasn't out to hurt me first. I know it might not be much of a distinction, but...."

"It is. It means you're the man I fell in love with," Zach said, closing his eyes and hugging Bull tighter. After a while he straightened up, wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand. "I'm sorry. You had things you needed to do."

"I can do them later," Bull said.

"No, it's okay. I need some time alone to think. Go run your errands-just come back when you're done." Zach swallowed and Bull stood up. "I'll be fine."

"You're sure? I can always get Harry to do them for me," Bull said.

Zach shook his head. "Go on. I'll be fine."

Bull gave him a gentle kiss and slowly went to the door, looking back to him one last time before he left the apartment. Zach smiled and made "scoot" motions with his hands. Bull closed the door, and Zach sat alone, staring at the blank television screen.

His mind raced. Bull was right: he'd had suspicions about his uncle, but he hadn't wanted to believe or even contemplate them. Who wanted to think a relative, someone he'd known all his life, was a murderer? Zach curled up on the sofa, resting his head on the arm. He'd told his uncle he was free and he'd meant it. But his freedom had come at a high cost. His family, friends, and now his parents' deaths-all of it was linked to his quest to get away and live his own life. "I'm sorry," Zach said quietly into the empty room. He wasn't expecting a response and didn't get one. Thank goodness, or otherwise he'd be nuts.

Zach sat unmoving on the sofa and eventually closed his eyes. Being alone like this probably wasn't a good idea. Yeah, it gave him time to think, but what ran though his mind were things it was probably best he didn't think about all at once. But everything-guilt, second-guessed decisions, insisting his parents simply come with him-all of it rolled over in his mind again and again. He wondered what Bull would tell him, what sort of advice the former soldier and mercenary would give him to deal with the guilt.

He reached over to the coffee table, grabbed the remote, and turned on the television for some company. He watched some sitcom reruns and soon his attention wavered. He closed his eyes and willed everything to go away. Not that it worked, but he eventually relaxed enough to doze off.

He woke to heavy footsteps outside his door. Zach s.h.i.+fted and waited for Bull to come in. The door opened, and Zach looked up before jumping to his feet. "What are you doing here?" Zach asked his uncle, taking a step back. He should have locked the door.

"I knew you were behind all this," his uncle spat as he pushed the apartment door closed. "I knew you were the one who spread all those lies about me setting that fire."

"What fire?" Zach asked, having the presence of mind to play dumb.

"Don't take me for a fool," his uncle said, stepping closer. "I have friends. I know what's going on. I know that... that... abomination you fornicate with called in some favors and had me investigated. Me!" he yelled. "People like you are the ones who should be investigated and locked away forever."

"That's enough," Zach said forcefully. "I'm not some child, and I won't take your c.r.a.p. Leave." Zach pointed toward the door. He wondered if his uncle was carrying a gun. His eyes were wide and crazed. "You have no place here. We're no longer family-isn't that what you told me? Well, I agree. You aren't my family," Zach said slowly and firmly. "I disown you! You're nothing at all to me, and I don't care what happens to you."

His uncle stilled. Zach took another step back to put a little more distance between them. "They've all left me. I was the leader, their moral compa.s.s, and they threw me out, cast me aside."

Zach shrugged. It was impossible for him to feel sorry for the man who'd murdered his parents. But he needed to keep his uncle calm. His uncle looked crazy, and Zach had no idea what he'd do. "I'm sorry they left you," he lied through his teeth. "No one should be left all alone in the world."

"No. Well, no upstanding person should be alone," his uncle said, clearly taking a swipe at Zach.

"So why did you come here? What do you want from me? I have no idea what's going on or why everyone seems to have left you."

"Don't lie to me," his uncle hissed and moved closer once again. "I know you know everything. Like I said, I have friends, and you, boy, put your boyfriend up to having me investigated."

"When have I ever lied to you?" Zach countered. "In all the years you've known me, since I was five years old, have I ever lied to you?" Zach stared at him, and his uncle paused. "I told you the truth always, even when I knew I was going to get a beating for it. h.e.l.l, you whipped me for telling you the truth, so don't you call me a liar. You're the liar!" Rage welled inside Zach, cascading through him. He clenched his fists and moved closer to his uncle, drawing himself up as tall as he could. "You were my family and you turned on me because I was gay. That's not family, that's sick."

"Don't talk to me about sick, boy," his uncle sneered.

"I'll talk to you about anything I want. This is my apartment." Zach reached into his pocket for his phone, but it wasn't there. He glanced around and saw it on the edge of the coffee table. "Like I said, it's best if you leave right now."

"I'm not going anywhere. You turned everyone against me and you're going to pay." His uncle reached for his belt, unhooked it, and pulled it off.

"What, you think you're going to whip me like you did when I was a kid?" Zach asked, standing his ground.

"You're still a boy, and I know I can beat the Lord back into you," his uncle said, spittle flying everywhere. Zach wouldn't have been surprised to see him start foaming at the mouth.

"I told you before. You will not touch me," Zach told him. His uncle doubled the belt and reached for Zach's wrist. "Stop it. Now!" Zach called, but his uncle kept coming.

Out of the corner of his eye, Zach saw the apartment door open and Bull step inside. His uncle reached for him, trying to grab his wrist. Zach screamed and kicked, sweeping his uncle's feet out from under him. "You stupid a.s.s," Zach cried as he kicked his uncle in the side. "I took self-defense cla.s.ses because of you." Zach kicked him again. "I learned how to fight because of your sorry a.s.s." Zach aimed for his uncle's head, but Bull grabbed him from behind and held him tight. "And no one is going to hurt me again!" He struggled to get away.

"It's okay," Bull whispered in his ear. "He's down and he's not going to hurt you again." Zach stopped struggling and stared at his uncle, who lay curled up on the floor, moaning like a two-dollar wh.o.r.e. Bull released him, and Zach stepped away, reached over to the coffee table, and scooped up his phone. He pressed 911.

"I want to report an a.s.sault," Zach said when someone answered. The operator asked for his name and address and what happened. "My uncle broke into my apartment and tried to a.s.sault me, so I kicked his a.s.s into next week. You should send someone now, because if he gets up, I'll kick his sorry a.s.s again. Oh, and the uncle in question is wanted for murder." Zach stared at his uncle as he hung up the phone. "Yeah, I know everything." He looked at Bull before standing as close to his uncle as he dared. The urge to kick his face in would be too strong to resist if he got too close. "I know what you did, and so does everyone at home. You're going away for a long time, and I intend to testify against you the first chance I get."

"It's okay," Bull told him again. "Everything's going to be fine. He's not going anywhere, and no one is going to hurt you when I'm around." Bull tightened his embrace.

"Okay. But if he gets up, I get to beat the s.h.i.+t out of him," Zach said.

"That's a deal. If there's any beating to be done, you get to do it."

"You're humoring me," Zach asked.

"Are you kidding? I saw what you did to him. I'm staying out of it." Bull chuckled, and Zach sighed and settled in his embrace. The sirens got louder, and Zach waited for the police to enter.

As soon as they did, the apartment became a hive of activity, questions, and more questions. They took statements from him, Bull, and his uncle before cuffing the older man and hauling him away. It seemed he'd gotten out of Lancaster just ahead of the police, and they were more than happy to have him in custody.

"He says he wants to press charges," an officer told Zach.

"Let him." Zach turned around and lifted his s.h.i.+rt. "He did this to me, and he killed my parents. I think he deserved whatever I did to him."

"He had a gun in his car. We don't know if he planned to use it, but it was loaded and hidden beneath the seat," the officer explained. "He doesn't seem particularly stable at the moment, so who knows what's going through his head."

"I understand, but don't let him off because of it," Zach said firmly.

"Unfortunately, that sort of thing is for the lawyers and courts," the officer said with resignation, and Zach nodded. He knew that, but he had to say it. His uncle was off his nut, but Zach was convinced he knew what he was doing and vowed to testify as many times as he needed to make a jury believe it.

"Here's my card. I'll be in touch if anything happens, but based upon your statements, I doubt he can make any charges stick," the officer said.

Zach took the card and clutched it between his fingers. "Please call if there's anything I can do."

The officer promised that he would and left the apartment. Zach closed the door and made it to the sofa before his legs buckled underneath him.

"Zach," Bull said as he rushed toward him.

"I'm okay. I just can't believe I actually attacked my uncle." Zach held his head in his hands.

"You didn't. He attacked you, and you defended yourself," Bull told him. "There's nothing wrong with that at all. When I came in and saw him coming at you, I was prepared to take him out, but I didn't have to. You defended yourself." Bull wrapped him in his arms, and Zach closed his eyes, still shuddering. "Where did you learn to fight like that?"

"After I left home, I was pretty messed up. I'd lost my family, though I know now that I was a victim. I didn't then." Zach looked up into Bull's eyes. "On one of the bulletin boards at school, I saw a cla.s.s being offered in self-defense for women. I went, and while initially they wouldn't let me into the cla.s.s, I explained to the instructor what had happened to me." Zach swallowed. "Believe it or not, she polled the cla.s.s, and they voted me in." Zach blinked. "Most of them had experienced something similar to what I'd gone through." Zach sighed and swallowed hard as he remembered how much in common he'd had with all those women. "It was a basic cla.s.s, but it gave me confidence so I could stop feeling like a victim. I wish I could find the instructor now and tell her that she truly helped me."

"I bet she already knows," Bull said. "I helped teach a cla.s.s like that a few years ago, and you can see the change in people when they no longer feel helpless. That's the real accomplishment, because you won't use what you learned if you don't feel confidence in yourself. And you learned that lesson well."

Zach felt Bull shake slightly and he pulled back so he could look at him. "What's wrong?"

"I almost lost you again," Bull whispered.

"What do you mean by 'again'?" Zach asked.

"Last night I thought something had happened to you when I came home and Rashad was in the house. Now I walk in here and your uncle is attacking you," Bull said. "I'm starting to wonder if you aren't the superhero."

Zach scoffed lightly and swatted Bull's chest. "I can't be a superhero. I don't look like one. You're the superhero." He rested his head on Bull's shoulder. "I know you don't like to see yourself as comforting, but you are to me."

"I want to be comforting for you." Bull slowly rubbed his back, and the tension began to drain from Zach's muscles. "And you are the superhero. Never doubt that." Zach lifted his head to make sure Bull wasn't kidding. "Look what you've done. I was the biggest harda.s.s on earth, and you got me to open my heart to you. You stood up to the man who abused you and"-Bull paused-"killed your parents. You even stood up to my mother, and I'd like to think that's part of the reason she's trying to change. You bring out the good in people."

"I didn't in my uncle," Zach countered.

"Your uncle is nuts; he doesn't count," Bull retorted, and Zach chuckled softly. "You make people want to be happy. After all you've been through, you're still able to smile." Bull hugged him close. "That makes you a superhero to me."