A Live Coal in the Sea Part 15

'What's a quantum leap?' Wiz Morrison asked.

Mac said, quickly, 'It's time for Camilla-and Quantum-to go up to bed. The doctor said she shouldn't be up for more than a few hours.'

The young people stood, in immediate apology.

'No, no,' Camilla protested, 'you were wonderful to come. You've made me feel much better. I'll take the kitten with me and hope he won't leap all the way back down the stairs.'

When Mac came up she was in bed, with the kitten curled up on her shoulder, purring in its sleep. Camilla said, 'I'm glad you stopped me from having to explain a quantum leap. I'm sure Mrs. Lee would see it as something totally unscriptural.'

'Um,' Mac said. 'That's the main reason I barged in. Freddy Lee's a nice guy, but Gordie Byrd would have found something nasty to say. It was also time for you to get off to bed. I've fixed a litter pan in a corner of the kitchen, and some food and water, so let me take the little creature down and get him used to his new dwelling.'

A week later Camilla received a call from Noelle, who determinedly kept in touch, as though Camilla continued to be some kind of lifeline for her. 'Oh, Cam, I'm visiting Andrew in Atlanta. He's doing a residency at Grady, and that's a really tough hospital, but it turns out super doctors. One of his best pals comes from Athens, he's a favorite nephew of somebody he calls Aunt Edith at the university, so I heard you lost a baby. That's lousy. I'm really sorry.'

'Thanks. It happens. I'll try again.'

Madeleine L'Engle134 'Listen, we're driving over to Athens tomorrow to pick up Andrew's friend whose car has kaput'ed. Can we stop by on the way and see you for a few minutes?'

How could she say no?

Mac pointed out, 'You could say losing the baby.'

'I suppose I could. I don't think well when I'm taken by surprise.'

'I wish Mama'd been able to stay longer.'

'It was wonderful of her to stay as long as she did. Don't worry. Noelle and Andrew won't hang around. They're on their way to Athens to pick up this nephew of Dr. Edison's.'

'Will you be okay without me? I've got a meeting with my missions committee, and then another with my finance committee . . .'

'I'm fine. I most certainly wouldn't want to see their father, but Noelle and Andrew can't be blamed for the problems he's caused us, and I guess caused them, too.'

'You're right,' Mac said. 'Don't dump a lot of junk on those kids that doesn't belong there.'

you're still getting over Noelle and Andrew arrived shortly, after lunch in a battered car. Noelle was prettier than Camilla remembered, less angular, with a softer smile. Her hair was now an ash blond which suited her delicate features. Andrew was still a tall string bean of a man, no hat covering his brilliant hair this time. His green eyes were already surrounded by fine wrinkles, as though he smiled a lot.

Noelle hugged Camilla. Andrew shook hands with a good, firm clasp, saying, 'Camilla, I'm afraid this isn't a g-good time for us to come. We're really sorry about your b-baby, and Noelle wanted to come tell you in person.' His stutter was minimal.

'Where's Mac?'Noelle asked.

A Live Coal in the Sea135 'He's tied up with all kinds of church meetings. He's sorry to miss you.'

'Me, too. I really loved those Sunday evenings with Mac, and you, too, Camilla, when you joined him.'

Andrew said, 'My friend's Aunt Edith thinks you are t-terrific, Camilla. She says you're the brightest 1-light on the campus.'

'I think she's pretty terrific, too. I don't know what I'd do without her.'

She led them toward the big pine tree. 'Let's sit outdoors. It's so warm today I really believe spring is coming.'

Andrew said quickly, 'Don't go to any b-bother for us.' 'It's no bother, and anyhow I'd like some tea myself.' When she brought out the tea tray, Andrew hurried to take it from her, setting it down on the card table that they kept outdoors, so often forgetting to bring it in at night that the top was mottled and pocked.

Quantum, who had been having a nap in a sunny spot in the yard, suddenly appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and in a great leap sat on Andrew's shoulder.

Startled, Andrew jumped, then put up his hand and stroked the kitten, who had started his loudest purr.

'Sorry, Andrew,' Camilla said. 'Did he scratch you?' 'No, he's fine. What a cute 1-little thing.'

'His name, of course, is Quantum.' 'Of course,' Andrew said.

'Why of course?' Noelle asked.

'He j -just made a quantum leap,' Andrew explained. 'What's a quantum leap?'

Noelle asked.

Both Camilla and Andrew looked at her in surprise. Noelle defended herself.

'I.

majored in English. I'm not into science, like you two.'

Camilla and Andrew looked at each other. Camilla asked Noelle, 'Have you ever heard of indeterminacy?'

'Nope.'

Madeleine L'Engle-136'Heisenberg,' Andrew started. 'In the sub-atomic world we can know, for instance, either the exact position of a p-particle or its exact trajectory, b-but not both.'

'You're crazy.' Noelle poured herself more tea.

Camilla asked, 'Surely you've heard of Planck, who, at the turn of the century, realized that energy comes in tiny units he called quanta, rather than continuously.'

'Planck's h'-Andrew nodded-'is as im-important Einstein's c.'

'C = the velocity of light,' Camilla explained. Noelle hooted with laughter.

'You're both crazy, lutely crazy.'

Camilla shook her head. 'No, Noelle. It's a language both Andrew and I happen to speak. I don't quote Shakespeare, and you do.'

'Shakespeare is a lot simpler.' 'Not to those who don't know it.'

Noelle took a swallow of tea. 'Mind if I change the subject?'

,T-to something important.' Andrew grinned.

'To me. I've been dating a guy from Atlanta, Cam, not one of Andrew's doctor pals, but a budding banker. Ferris Hamilton. Isn't that a Southern-sounding name? Ferris Hamilton. G.o.d, he's exciting! He's the brother of one of my college friends, and stable without being stuffy.'

'Good man.' Andrew smiled, then 'H-how's your m-mother?'

What an odd question. Then Camilla remembered that Andrew had seen Rose with his father, and perhaps more than once. 'She and my father are in Paris for a year.'

'S-she's b-beautiful,' Andrew said. 'I m-m-met h-h-' His stuttering got the better of him.

'Where?' Noelle demanded. 'Where did you meet her?' 'When I was at a con-con-con-'

'Conference?' Noelle suggested.

as abso turned to Camilla.

A Live Coal in the Sea.,137 Andrew nodded. 'In Chi-chi-ca-g-go. W-walking down b-by the Make.'

'When?' Noelle demanded 'She was b-back in Chi-Chi-Chi -' 'Chicago.'

'Y-yes. They'd come b-back for a week and were staying at a ho-ho-ho-'

'Hotel.'

'Wh-while her husband d-did some kind of w-work.' He smiled rather helplessly at Camilla.

Camilla knew that her parents made frequent brief trips home for Rafferty's work, and for Rose to consult with her decorator.

The kitten leapt from Andrew's shoulder, made a wide dash around the pine tree, jumped high in the air, and then landed in Andrew's lap. Laughing, he picked up the little creature, who again snuggled up to him, purring.

Camilla smiled. 'Another quantum leap. He didn't scratch you?'

,No, not at all. Animals and I are fine together.' He smiled at her. His stutter was gone.

'Animals adore Andrew,' Noelle said. 'Animals and kids. He's like the pied piper. Cam, I'm really loving college. But I think that's going to be enough education for me. Sure, I can quote Shakespeare, but where's that going to get me in the real world?''More tea?' Camilla suggested.

Andrew held out his cup and she filled it. 'How are you feeling?'

'A little tired. I'm okay.'

'It t-takes the body a while.' He looked at her with real concern in his expression.

'Yes. I know.'

'You'll have another baby.' He seemed deeply anxious to rea.s.sure her.

1 138.

She found that she wanted to rea.s.sure him. 'Yes. Of course I will.'

'We'd b-better get on over to Athens and leave you to rest.' He took Camilla's hand in both his strong ones. 'Thank you for being a 1-lifeline for my sister.'

Camilla demurred. 'I haven't done anything.'

'You've been there for h-her when she's needed you. It's a great b-blessing.'

'He's right,' Noelle said. 'It means a lot to me to be able to keep in touch, and I do plan to keep on doing that, like it or not.' She laughed, but there was a wistfulness that touched Camilla.

'Of course, Noelle.? She gave her a quick hug, then reached out to shake hands again with Andrew. She liked the feel of his hands. He was a nice man. A good brother for Noelle.

She waved after them as they drove off.

When Mac came home he brought in the mail, the usual junk, plus a letter from Rafferty, full of loving concern. He said that he did not want to rub salt in her wounds, but that Rose was happier than she had been in years, full of little whims, most of which were easily satisfied: fresh figs, rather than strawberries; frequent drives in the various parks and gardens; visits to churches at odd hours-Rose had never been interested in churches. 'I suspect she's placating the G.o.ds or the saints,' Rafferty wrote. 'It seems to me it does her no harm, though I don't like to encourage superst.i.tion. However, it's no more irrational than her insistance that fresh figs are good for the baby's brain.'

The letter was not intended to hurt, but it did.

Memories hurt. They are not completely healed while they still hurt. Camilla had thought that she had come to terms with A Live Coal in the Sea-139 her memories, but it seemed that she had not. Raffi's question had precipitated her into the past, the years in Corinth, her mother's pregnancy, Mac's death, and there was still pain where she had believed there was nothing but healed scar tissue.

She got ready for bed, following her comfortable routine of bath and then some quiet reading. But she was not quiet, and the memories she had called up thus far barely scratched the surface. She could tell Raffi in a few words, "Your grandfather and I started our marriage in a small parish in Georgia, and we were happy, loving each other, making friends. I began to believe that my mother and her problems were out of my life, even when she-to my surprise-became pregnant.

I lost a baby, and then I became pregnant with your Aunt Frankie."

Surely that was enough. That was all she need tell Raffi about those early years of marriage. But thenThe phone rang, and it was Frankie, who usually called at least once a week.

Her calls were healing, because Frankie had made peace with her memories, was happy with who she was, what she was doing.

"Mom, are you all right?" "Of course, fine."

"Come on, Mom. Something's wrong. Your voice is tight and hard. What's up. Is it Taxi?"

Camilla sighed. "Does it always have to be Taxi?" "No, Mom, but it usually is.

Isn't it?"

"Usually." "What now?"

"I'm not sure. When you drove back to New York with Taxi after that medal affair, did you notice anything?"

"I'm not sure, either. He made a lot of nasty remarks about various people, and Thessaly tried to calm him down, but it wasn't all that unusual."

"But you noticed-"

"Mom. Yes. Can you tell me what's going on?"

Madeleine L Engle..140 "I don't know what's going on. He gave hints to Raffi that I'm not her-her biological grandmother. He upset her." There was a long pause. Camilla looked at the dark windows of the French doors that led out onto a balcony where, in element weather, she ate breakfast. She waited. Finally Frankie said, "Mom, you and Dad let Taxi live with a lie." "Was it a lie?"

"Yes, Mom, it was. Maybe it was a lie more than commission, but it was still a lie."

"Taxi was so pa.s.sionate about it, about not talk-"

"And you was too late."

"But why now?" Camilla asked. "Why would he want to hurt Raffi?"

"To hurt you, Mom, even if he has to do it through Raffi." "Raffi wants to know-"