The Benefactress - LightNovelsOnl.com
You're reading novel online at LightNovelsOnl.com. Please use the follow button to get notifications about your favorite novels and its latest chapters so you can come back anytime and won't miss anything.
Frau von Treumann was still firmly fixed in the house, without the least intention apparently of leaving it, and she spent her time lying in wait for Anna, watching for an opportunity of beginning again about Karlchen.
Anna had avoided the inevitable day when she would be caught, but it came at last, and she was caught in the garden, whither she had retired to consider how best to approach the baroness, hitherto quite unapproachable, on the burning question of Lolli.
Frau von Treumann appeared suddenly, coming softly across the gra.s.s, so that there was no time to run away. "Anna," she called out reproachfully, seeing Anna make a movement as though she wanted to run, which was exactly what she did want to do, "Anna, have I the plague?"
"I hope not," said Anna.
"You treat me as if I had it."
Anna said nothing. "Why does she stay here? How can she stay here, after what has happened?" she had wondered often. Perhaps she had come now to announce her departure. She prepared herself therefore to listen with a willing ear.
She was sitting in the shade of a copper beech facing the oily sea and the coast of Rugen quivering opposite in the heat-haze. She was not doing anything; she never did seem to do anything, as these ladies of the busy fingers often noticed.
"Blue and white," said Anna, looking up at the gulls and the sky to give Frau von Treumann time, "the Pomeranian colours. I see now where they come from."
But Frau von Treumann had not come out to talk about the Pomeranian colours. "My Karlchen has been ill," she said, her eyes on Anna's face.
Anna watched the gulls overhead in the deep blue. "So has Else," she remarked.
"Dear me," thought Frau von Treumann, "what rancour."
She laid her hand on Anna's knee, and it was taken no notice of. "You cannot forgive him?" she said gently. "You cannot pardon a momentary indiscretion?"
"I have nothing to forgive," said Anna, watching the gulls; one dropped down suddenly, and rose again with a fish in its beak, the sun for an instant catching the silver of the scales. "It is no affair of mine. It is for Else to forgive him."
Frau von Treumann began to weep; this way of looking at it was so hopelessly unreasonable. She pulled out her handkerchief. "What a heap she must use," thought Anna; never had she met people who cried so much and so easily as the Chosen; she was quite used now to red eyes; one or other of her sisters had them almost daily, for the farther their old bodily discomforts and real anxieties lay behind them the more tender and easily lacerated did their feelings become.
"He could not bear to see you being imposed upon," said Frau von Treumann. "As soon as he knew about this terrible sister he felt he must hasten down to save you. 'Mother,' he said to me when first he suspected it, 'if it is true, she must not be contaminated.'"
"Who mustn't?"
"Oh, Anna, you know he thinks only of you!"
"Well, you see," said Anna, "I don't mind being contaminated."
"Oh, dear child, a young pretty girl ought to mind very much."
"Well, I don't. But what about yourself? Are you not afraid of--of contamination?" She was frightened by her own daring when she had said it, and would not have looked at Frau von Treumann for worlds.
"No, dear child," replied that lady in tones of tearful sweetness, "I am too old to suffer in any way from a.s.sociating with queer people."
"But I thought a Treumann----" murmured Anna, more and more frightened at herself, but impelled to go on.
"Dear Anna, a Treumann has never yet flinched before duty."
Anna was silenced. After that she could only continue to watch the gulls.
"You are going to keep the baroness?"
"If she cares to stay, yes."
"I thought you would. It is for you to decide who you will have in your house. But what would you do if this--this Lolli came down to see her sister?"
"I really cannot tell."
"Well, be sure of one thing," burst out Frau von Treumann enthusiastically, "I will not forsake you, dear Anna. Your position now is exceedingly delicate, and I will not forsake you."
So she was not going. Anna got up with a faint sigh. "It is frightfully hot here," she said; "I think I will go to Else."
"Ah--and I wanted to tell you about my poor Karlchen--and you avoid me--you do not want to hear. If I am in the house, the house is too hot.
If I come into the garden, the garden is too hot. You no longer like being with me."
Anna did not contradict her. She was wondering painfully what she ought to do. Ought she meekly to allow Frau von Treumann to stay on at Kleinwalde, to the exclusion, perhaps, of someone really deserving? Or ought she to brace herself to the terrible task of asking her to go? She thought, "I will ask Axel"--and then remembered that there was no Axel to ask. He never came near her. He had dropped out of her life as completely as though he had left Lohm. Since that unhappy day, she had neither seen him nor heard of him. Many times did she say to herself, "I will ask Axel," and always the remembrance that she could not came with a shock of loneliness; and then she would drop into the train of thought that ended with "if I had a mother," and her eyes growing wistful.
"Perhaps it is the hot weather," she said suddenly, an evening or two later, after a long silence, to the princess. They had been speaking of servants before that.
"You think it is the hot weather that makes Johanna break the cups?"
"That makes me think so much of mothers."
The princess turned her head quickly, and examined Anna's face. It was Sunday evening, and the others were at church. The baroness, whose recovery was slow, was up in her room.
"What mothers?" naturally inquired the princess.
"I think this everlasting heat is dreadful," said Anna plaintively. "I have no backbone left. I am all limp, and soft, and silly. In cold weather I believe I wouldn't want a mother half so badly."
"So you want a mother?" said the princess, taking Anna's hand in hers and patting it kindly. She thought she knew why. Everyone in the house saw that something must have been said to Axel Lohm to make him keep away so long. Perhaps Anna was repenting, and wanted a mother's help to set things right again.
"I always thought it would be so glorious to be independent," said Anna, "and now somehow it isn't. It is tiring. I want someone to tell me what I ought to do, and to see that I do it. Besides petting me. I long and long sometimes to be petted."
The princess looked wise. "My dear," she said, shaking her head, "it is not a mother that you want. Do you know the couplet:--
_Man bedarf der Leitung Und der mannlichen Begleitung?_
A truly excellent couplet."
Anna smiled. "That is the German idea of female bliss--always to be led round by the nose by some husband."
"Not _some_ husband, my dear--one's own husband. You may call it leading by the nose if you like. I can only say that I enjoyed being led by mine, and have missed it grievously ever since."
"But you had found the right man."
"It is not very difficult to find the right man."
"Yes it is--very difficult indeed."
"I think not," said the princess. "He is never far off. Sometimes, even, he is next door." And she gazed over Anna's head at the ceiling with elaborate unconsciousness.
"And besides," said Anna, "why does a woman everlastingly want to be led and propped? Why can't she go about the business of life on her own feet? Why must she always lean on someone?"