Real Life In London Part 92

During this transaction, a carriage bearing the royal arms, and attended by two footmen only, drove rapidly along the Mall, without attracting particular notice, and entering the garden-gate of Carlton-house, was immediately lost to public view; nor did the numerous groups who were in waiting to catch a transient glance of royalty, recognise in the una.s.suming inmate of this vehicle, the sacred person of his most gracious Majesty King George the Fourth, who was thus pleased modestly to decline the congratulations of his loving subjects, by eluding, incognita, their observation.

This was a second grievous disappointment to our venerable aunt, and might have operated as a spell against the further enjoyment of the day; but the gloom of vexation was dispersed by the Esquire of Belville-hall, who observed, that the royal lineage of the lady might aspire to a more intimate knowledge of majesty than a view _en pa.s.sant_, and that at any future levee there could not exist a doubt of the facility of Miss Macgilligan's introduction.

A convenient and vacant bench presenting itself, the a.s.sociates now seated themselves.

"Apropos," exclaimed Sir Felix, "talking of the King, does his Majesty mean to honour with another visit his Hanoverian dominions this ensuing summer?"

~~271~~~ The inquiry was directed to Dashall, whom the Baronet was accustomed to look upon as an universal intelligencer.

Tom declared his incompetency to answer the question.

"Well," continued Sir Felix, "were I the monarch of this empire, J would make myself acquainted with every part of it. A tour through England, Scotland, and Ireland, should be my primary object, and a visit to my foreign territories a subordinate consideration, I would travel from town to town in the land that gave me birth; like the Tudors and the Stuarts; with confidence in the loyalty of my people, my person should be familiar to them, and 1 should at all times be accessible to their complaints. Elizabeth and the Second James made frequent excursions into distant parts of the country, and every where were received with addresses of fidelity. Were his present Majesty to follow, in this respect, the example of his royal predecessors, who can doubt his experiencing the most ample and unequivocal demonstrations of attachment to his person and government?"

The friendly a.s.sociates indulged a hearty laugh at the expense of the visionary, although they did him the justice to believe that his theoretical improvements on the policy of majesty were the ebullition of a generous heart, warm in fraternal regard for the whole of human kind.

Tom, however, reminded him that the pusillanimous James II. acquired no popularity by his royal tours; and that the affections of the people were not to be gained by the merely personal condescension of the monarch.{1}

1 During the reign of King James II., and when, not unlike the present day, the people were much oppressed and burthened with taxes, that monarch having, in the course of a tour through England, stopt at Winchelsea, the Corporation resolved to address his Majesty; but as the Mayor could neither read nor write, it was agreed that the Recorder should prompt him on the occasion. Being introduced, the Recorder whispered the trembling Mayor, "Hold up your head, and look like a man." The Mayor mis-taking this for the beginning of the speech, addressed the King, and repeated aloud, "Hold up your head, and look like a man." The Recorder, in amaze, whispered the Mayor, "What the devil do you mean?" The Mayor in the same manner instantly repeated, "What the devil do you mean?" The Recorder, alarmed, whispered more earnestly, "By G-----d, Sir, you'll ruin us all."

The Mayor, still imagining this to be a part of his speech, said, with all "his might, "By G-----d, Sir, you'll ruin us all."

~~272~~~So slow was the progress of the vehicles towards the palace for the purpose of taking up their respective owners, that many gentlemen, whose residences were in the vicinity, rather than wait, preferred walking across the Park; while the unusual exhibition of a pedestrian in full court-dress excited no little attention from the mult.i.tude.

Our party proceeding in their lounge, was presently met by one of these gentlemen, who recognizing Dashall and Tallyho, shook them cordially by the hand, and was introduced to Sir Felix and his Aunt, as Captain of the Royal Navy.

The Captain, to adopt a Court phrase, was most graciously received by the lady; who observing he had been present at the Levee, begged that he would favour her with an account of what had pa.s.sed.

The gallant Captain, retracing his steps with his friends along the Mall, said, that little or nothing had occurred worthy of remark.

"The drawing-room," he continued, "was crowded to such excess, that I should have felt myself more at ease in the bilboes; however, amidst the awkwardness of the squeeze, I frequently came into unavoidable contact with some very fine girls, and that pleasure certainly more than compensated all inconveniences. The King (G.o.d bless him)! perspired most prodigiously; for the heat was intolerable; he appeared very much fatigued; and 1 hope has retired with a superior relish to enjoy the quietude and luxury of the royal table at Carlton Palace. The presentations of the female sprigs of n.o.bility were numerous, to all of whom he paid particular attention, in duty bound, as a gallant Cavalier and the best bred gentleman in Europe. Indeed, he seemed to gloat on the charms of those terrestrial deities with ecstacy! The introductions were endless, and the etiquette tiresome and monotonous. In fact, after making my humble congee, extrication became my only object, and I effected a retreat with difficulty. My stay was short, and as I had neither inclination nor opportunity for minute remark, I hope, Madam, that you will pardon my incapability of answering your inquiry in a more particular manner."

~~273~~~ Nothing farther could be elicited. In truth, the Captain had left nothing untold; for his description of the Levee, although succinct, was correct, laying aside the enumeration of the _dramatis personae_, too numerous, and in many instances perhaps too insignificant, for recollection.

The gallant son of Neptune now took his leave, and the party continued to enjoy the pleasure of the promenade.

The Park was still thronged with spectators, attracted by the retiring visitors, of whom some it seems were no welcome guests.

Whether vice had contaminated the hallowed presence of Royalty, we cannot take upon us to say; but it appears that the sanctum sanctorum had been polluted by intrusion; for a notification was issued next day by the Lord Chamberlain, prefaced with the usual Whereas, "that certain improper persons had gained access to his Majesty's Levee, and stating, that in future no one would be admitted unless in full Court dress, including bag-wig, sword," &c.{1}

1 As if these appendages were only within the reach of the higher cla.s.ses of the community, and uncomeatable by purchase! The most depraved character may obtain the plausible appearance of gentility, and obtrude himself into the first circle of fas.h.i.+on. These opportunities abound in the metropolis; and such is the apathy of the present age, that the accomplished swindler, of exterior allurement, intermixes, _sans_ inquiry, with honourable rank; and even where inquiry is deemed necessary, all minor considerations vanish before the talismanic influence of Wealth! "Is he rich? Incalculably so! Then, let's have him, by all means."

Thus the initiated of Chesterfield obtain admission into polished society, although the Principles of Politeness inculcated by that n.o.bleman, contain, as a celebrated lexicographer said of them, "the morals of a wh**e, and the manners of a dancing-master!"

The party having lounged away another pleasant hour, made ultimately their exit from the Park by the Stable-yard, and entering Pall Mall, were agreeably surprised with a very interesting exhibition.

During many years of the late King's reign, it was usual on the birth-day anniversary for the different mail coaches to pa.s.s in review before his Majesty in front of St. James's Palace. The custom still prevails.

On the present occasion numerous spectators had a.s.sembled opposite Carl ton-house; and it is presumed that the Sovereign thence witnessed the procession, although he was not within the view of public observation.

~~274~~~ Above thirty mail coaches, fresh gilt and painted, or in the language of churchwardens, beautified, and each drawn by four n.o.ble-spirited, yet perfectly tractable horses, elegantly caparisoned, now made their appearance. The cavalcade moved slowly onward, the prancing steeds impatient of restraint, and conscious of superiority.

On the box of each vehicle was seated a portly good looking man, the knowing Jehu of the road, and behind was the guard, occasionally "winding his bugle-horn" with melodious and scientific ability. The reins and harness were new, so also were the royal liveries of the coachmen and guards. Mounted conductors led the van of the procession, while others accompanied it on either side; and the interest of the scene was considerably heightened by each coach being occupied inside by handsome well-dressed women and children. The rear of this imposing spectacle was brought up by a long train of the twopenny post-boys, all newly clothed in the royal uniform, and mounted on hardy ponies, chiefly of the Highland and Shetland breed. The cavalcade halted in front of the royal residence, and gave three cheers in honour of the day, which were heartily returned by the populace. The procession then resumed its progress by Charing-cross, the Strand, Fleet-street, Ludgate-hill, round St. Paul's, and by Cheapside into Lombard-street,

Pa.s.sing up the new street, the a.s.sociates reached the mansion of Dashall, who had previously engaged his friends to dinner.

An elegant repast was immediately served up, and highly enjoyed by the party, after such prolonged exercise and abstinence.

The conversation turning on the recent interesting exhibition, it was universally acknowledged, that the introduction of the mail coach into the establishment of the General Post-office, might be cla.s.sed among the highest improvements of the age, as amazingly accelerating the celerity of intercourse with all parts of the empire. Neither was the well-merited meed of encomium withheld from the Twopenny-post Inst.i.tution, by which, so frequently in the course of the day, the facility of communication is kept up within the metropolis and suburbs, extending to all adjacencies, and bounded only by the limits of the bills of mortality. Dashall, who seldom let slip an opportunity of appropriate remark ~~275~~~ digressed from the procession to the important national utility of the Post-office, and thence, by easy transition, to the sublime powers of the human mind, as emphatically exemplified in the invention of writing and printing; while Sir Felix, who was well experienced in the British poets, favoured his aunt with a quotation from Pope's Epistle of Heloisa to Abelard, subject, however, to such whimsical interpolation as he deemed suitable to the occasion:--

Heaven first taught letters for some wretch's aid, Some antique, lovesick, North of Ireland maid! They live, they speak, they breathe what age inspires, Preposterous fondness and impure desires! The latent wish without a blush impart, Reveal the frailties of a morbid heart; Speed the neglected sigh from soul to soul, And waft a groan from Indus to the Pole!

The reading of Miss Macgilligan, like her ideas, was rather on a contracted scale. She suspected, however, that her nephew had aimed against her the shafts of ridicule, and was preparing her resentment accordingly; when the Baronet deprecating her wrath, a.s.sured her, that he had recited the lines exactly as originally written, and that in the present clay they had no personal application, having been composed by a little cynical fellow many years before Miss Macgilligan came into existence.--The lady gave credence to the a.s.sertion, and the impending storm was happily averted.

The residence of royalty being within the precinct of St. James's, the bells of the neighbouring church sounded a merry peal in the ears of the party; and were responded to by those of St, Martin-in-the-Fields, a parish of which it is remarkable that his Majesty George II. was once church-warden, serving the office, of course, by deputy. The steeple of this church, as well as those of many others in the metropolis, displayed, throughout the day, the royal standard, a manifestation of loyalty which likewise extended itself to the liquid element of old father Thames, where many of the vessels commemorated the anniversary by frequent salutes of artillery, under the decorative and splendid canopy formed by the colours of all nations.

~~276~~~ The carriages of the foreign amba.s.sadors, and those of the friends of government, were again in requisition, and rattled along the streets towards the several mansions of the members of administration, who each, in conformity with ancient usage, gave a grand dinner on the birth-day, at least on that appointed for its celebration.

"At these dinners," said Dashall, "politics and etiquette are both laid aside; conviviality is the order of the day; the gla.s.s, the joke, the repartee and the 'retort courteous,' circulate freely, and all is harmony and good humour."

"With sometimes a sprinkling of alloy," said the Squire, "I have heard that during the administration of Mr. Pitt, he and the Lord Chancellor Thurlow were frequently at variance on subjects having no reference to politics, and even under the exhilirating influence of the grape."

The party were all attention, and the Squire proceeded--"At a cabinet dinner a discussion took place between the Premier and Lord Chancellor, as to the comparative merits of the Latin and English languages. Mr.

Pitt gave the preference to the former, the Chancellor! to the latter; and the arguments on both sides were carried on with equal pertinacity.--The Premier would not yield a jot in opinion. Becoming at last impatient of opposition,

"Why," said he, "the English language is an ambiguity--two negatives make an affirmative; but in the Latin, two negatives make a positive."--"Then," said the Chancellor, "your father and mother must have been two negatives, to make such a positive fellow as you are!"{1}

1 Lord Chancellor Thurlow, although a very eccentric character, was yet a man of uncommon benevolence. A vacancy having occurred in a valuable living of which he had the presentation, numerous were the candidates for the benefice; and amongst others, one, recommended by several of the n.o.bility, friends of the ministry, who made himself sure of the appointment, although, directly or indirectly, the Chancellor had not given any promise. In the meanwhile, it was one morning announced to his Lords.h.i.+p, that a gentleman, apparently a clergyman, waited the honour of an interview.

The servant was ordered to shew the stranger into the library, whither the Chancellor shortly repaired, and inquired the object of the visit. "My Lord," said the other, "I served the office of Curate under the deceased Rector, and understanding that the presentation is in your Lords.h.i.+p's gift"--"You want the living," exclaimed the Chancellor, gruffly. "No, my Lord; my humble pretensions soar not so high; but I presume, most respectfully, to entreat your Lords.h.i.+p's influence with the new Inc.u.mbent, that I may be continued in the Curacy." Surprised and pleased by the singular modesty of the applicant, who had served the same parish as Curate above twenty years, and now produced the most ample testimonials of character, his Lords.h.i.+p entered into conversation with him, and found him of extensive erudition, and orthodox principles. He ascertained, besides, that this poor Curate had a wife with six children entirely dependent on his exertions for support; and that the remuneration allowed for the faithful discharge of arduous duties, had been only thirty pounds per annum. The Chancellor now promised his influence in behalf of the Curate, with the person who probably might succeed to the living. "I shall see him," added his Lords.h.i.+p, "this very day; attend me to-morrow, and you shall know the result." The Curate took bis leave, and in the course of the morning the would-be Rector made his appearance. "O!"

exclaimed his Lords.h.i.+p, entering directly into the business, "I have had a humble suitor with me to-day,--the Curate of the late inc.u.mbent whom you are desirous of succeeding; he wishes to continue in the Curacy; the poor man is burthened with a large family, and hitherto has been very inadequately rewarded for his labour in the productive vineyard of which you antic.i.p.ate the possession and emolument. Suppose that you const.i.tute the happiness of this worthy man, by giving him a salary of one hundred pounds per annum; he will have all the duties to perform, and you will pocket a surplus, even then, of seven hundred a year, for in fact doing nothing!" This would-be was astonished; he had never before heard of a Curate in the receipt of one hundred pounds per annum; besides, he had already engaged a person to do the duty for twenty-five pounds. Fired with indignation at the inhumanity and arrogant presumption of this callous-hearted Clergyman,--"What!" exclaimed his Lords.h.i.+p, "and so you would turn the poor Curate out of doors, and abridge the miserable pittance of his successor, and all this before you've got the living! John, shew this fellmo down stairs!"

Gladly would this Inc.u.mbent, by antic.i.p.ation, have conceded every point required; but it was too late; the die was cast, and he found himself in the street, unknowing how he got there, whether on his hands or his lucls! Next day the Curate was announced. "I have not been able to succeed,"

said his Lords.h.i.+p,--"the new Inc.u.mbent has engaged a person who will do the duty for twenty-five pounds per annum." His Lords.h.i.+p paused, and the unfortunate Curate looked the personification of Despondency. "Cheer up, man!" exclaimed his Lords.h.i.+p, "If I have not influence sufficient to continue you in possession of the Curacy, I can, at least, give you the Living!" putting into the hands, at the same time, of the amazed Curate, the presentation to a Rectory worth eight hundred pounds per annum!! Here we must draw the Grecian painter's veil,--the gratification on either side may be conceived, but cannot be expressed.

~~278~~~ Sir Felix laughed heartily at this anecdote, and inquired of his aunt whether she knew any of the Positive family in the North of Ireland.

"Perfectly well," retorted the lady, "they are allied to the _Wrongheads_ of the province of Munster!"

This reproof, which was hailed with applause by Tom and Bob, dumb-foundered the Baronet, who became suddenly taciturn; but his habitual good humour predominated, and conscious that he had brought on himself the inflicted castigation, he resolved on a cessation of hostilities for the remainder of the evening.

The invitation by Dashall having been without formal ceremony, and unhesitatingly accepted by Miss Macgilligan and her nephew, they now, in turn, claimed the like privilege of freedom, by soliciting the company of the two Cousins to supper; a request which Tom and Bob cheerfully acquiesced in; and the party immediately set out for the Baronet's lodgings, preferring to walk the short distance, that they might view, more leisurely, the accustomed illuminations on the anniversary of his Majesty's birth-day.

The variegated lamps were tastefully arranged; but this effusion of loyalty was rather of an interested than interesting description, being confined wholly to the public-offices, the theatres, and the different houses of his Majesty's tradesmen; no other habitation in this immense metropolis bearing any external indication of attachment, on the part of its occupant, to the Sovereign of the British Empire!

"Here comes a set of jolly fellows," exclaimed the Baronet, as the party of friends turned into Bow-street from Covent-Garden, "who are at least determined to honour the anniversary of St. George and their Sovereign,"

the clang of marrow bones and cleavers resounding with harsh and stunning dissonance.

"Rather," said Dashall, "fellows determined to levy contributions on the public, caring as little for the actual George the King, as they do for the fabulous George the Champion."

Now loud and yet louder the grating din grew, And near and more near still the butcher-gang drew; Rapacious, obstrep'rous, a turbulent set, And bent on annoyance of all whom they met.

~~279~~~ It was in vain that our party attempted to avoid them by crossing the street. The intention was quickly thwarted by these self-licensed prowlers, who intercepting our a.s.sociates in the carriage-way, encircled them in such a manner, as to preclude the possibility of extrication; and raised, at the same time, a discoid of sounds, compared with which the vocal minstrelsy of the long-eared braying fraternity would have been the music of the spheres!