The Japanese Devil Fish Girl and Other Unnatural Attractions Part 9

George gasped, gagged, clawed at the air and fainted dead away. Professor Coffin caught him as he sank towards the table. 'That was a bitter lemon,' he told the count. 'From a detached point of view an amusing one. But if you have injured my charge it will be the worse for you, Evil Breath or no, believe me on this.'

'You clearly hold this young fellow in the highest regard,' said the count, removing from his waistcoat pocket a slim phial of liquid and carefully uns.c.r.e.w.i.n.g its cap. 'I projected but the mildest of breaths. This will aid his recovery.'

'A smelling bottle?' said Professor Coffin.

'Not as such,' said the count.

He waggled the uncapped bottle beneath the nose of George, who all of a sudden jerked once more into consciousness.

'You have experienced nothing but pleasure,' the count told him. 'You have no recollection of an Evil Breath, nor indeed any conversation concerning it. You fancy a nice stroll upon the promenade deck. Goodbye to you now, my boy, it was a pleasure to meet you.'

George Fox rose, placed his topper once more onto his head, bowed slightly towards the count, said, 'It was a pleasure to meet you, sir,' then left the gentlemen's bar.

Professor Coffin gazed at the phial of liquid as the Count de Saint-Germain rescrewed its cap.

'The Scent of Unknowing,' he said to the count.

'The same,' the other replied.

The Empress of Mars Empress of Mars was travelling steadily west. The gentle murmur of the electric turbines, Mr Tesla's invaluable contribution to the craft, did nothing to mar the enjoyment of the exalted folk who strolled the promenade deck. was travelling steadily west. The gentle murmur of the electric turbines, Mr Tesla's invaluable contribution to the craft, did nothing to mar the enjoyment of the exalted folk who strolled the promenade deck.

George Fox strolled amongst them, topper tipped at that angle known as rakish, dandy cane a-twirl between gloved fingers. George took in great breaths of healthy air. How perfect was this indeed. He experienced a certain queasiness of stomach, but attributed this to alt.i.tude sickness as this was his first time aboard a sky-going craft. George straightened his shoulders and grinned a little grin. No one was staring at him, or sniffing at him as they had done upon his ill-fated visit to the Crystal Palace. He looked the part and felt the part and folk thought him one of their own.

George took himself to the guardrail and leaned upon it, gazing down upon England. Below was Bath, its streets and buildings laid out in a pattern only understood by high-ranking Freemasons. George did sighings at the beauty.

This was was the life for him. It was, it really was. George recalled a line of Oscar Wilde's, to the effect that 'every man eventually finds his true position in life, whether it is above or below the one he was born into'. the life for him. It was, it really was. George recalled a line of Oscar Wilde's, to the effect that 'every man eventually finds his true position in life, whether it is above or below the one he was born into'.

And George gave the moment to thought.

All this had happened so suddenly. His encounter with Macmoyster Farl, 'the Apocalyptical Examiner', who had made his prediction to George. A prediction that George remembered word for word. 'The Book of Sayito will be opened unto you. You will find Her, young George Fox. Upon your shoulders will rest the future of the planets.' will be opened unto you. You will find Her, young George Fox. Upon your shoulders will rest the future of the planets.'

A shudder pa.s.sed up George's spine. A tiny chill ran through him. Macmoyster Farl had been hauled from his levitation by police minions under the command of the Gentlemen in Black. George wondered what had become of him. Nothing good, he concluded. But then he smiled a little. There was nothing that he, personally, could do for Macmoyster Farl. Other than to travel on this quest with the professor. It might lead to great things, or indeed terrible things, but that was for the future. A future that included several exciting destinations.

The Empress of Mars Empress of Mars would be docking in New York as its first port of call. Then San Francisco. Then Hawaii. Then Tokyo. And there they might find the j.a.panese Devil Fish Girl. Who could say? But this was the journey of a lifetime. Aboard the most amazing craft ever built upon Earth, in the company of London's most glamorous folk, George was surely one 'blessed of G.o.d'. George's smile spread wider. would be docking in New York as its first port of call. Then San Francisco. Then Hawaii. Then Tokyo. And there they might find the j.a.panese Devil Fish Girl. Who could say? But this was the journey of a lifetime. Aboard the most amazing craft ever built upon Earth, in the company of London's most glamorous folk, George was surely one 'blessed of G.o.d'. George's smile spread wider.

So George did twirlings of his cane and further perambulations. He acquired a plan of the sky-s.h.i.+p and wandered here and there, taking in the great dining hall, the casino, the concert auditorium, the mixed bathing pool, the absinthe boudoir, the Grand Salon and finally his own cabin. An 'Aristocratic Cabin'. George found each and every thing very much to his liking.

He closed the cabin door, flung his topper onto a faux marble washstand and flung himself fully clothed onto his bed.

The bed dipped to one side and George was cast to the floor.

Regaining his feet, if not entirely his dignity, George now viewed his bed with suspicion. Then noted that it swung hammock-like from four aluminium chains, each affixed to a separate bedpost and each meeting at a central ceiling stanchion.

'No doubt for comfort in rough weather,' said George, carefully mounting his bed.

Suitably settled, George Fox put his hands behind his head and, smiling contentedly, took to an afternoon nap.

14.

George Fox dreamed of a terrible stench and awoke with a terrible start. It was evening now and pale moonlight showed beyond his cabin porthole. George arose and straightened himself, smoothing down the crumpled parts and dusting at his shoulders. He took himself over to the washstand, turned a bra.s.s stopc.o.c.k and took pleasure from the cool water that splashed between his outstretched fingers. He flicked some onto the face of him and dried with the towel provided. George felt a growing sense of excitement. His first night upon the wondrous sky-s.h.i.+p, what exotic pleasures awaited him? Professor Coffin had whispered that there was a Nympharium on board, but George had his doubts about that. There would be dinner of course, in the great dining hall. But George had worries for this. There was bound to be considerable cutlery involved and George had no idea as to the appropriate etiquette, knife and fork and strangely dimpled spoon-wise. The Empress of Mars Empress of Mars was bound to offer room service. Perhaps it would be safer to dine in his cabin, rather than risk some social gaffe that would reveal his humble status to this world amongst the clouds. was bound to offer room service. Perhaps it would be safer to dine in his cabin, rather than risk some social gaffe that would reveal his humble status to this world amongst the clouds.

George examined his reflection in the full-length cheval gla.s.s. He certainly did look the part, even if he was unsure, in so many ways, of exactly how to act it.

But he would learn.

George returned his topper to his head and with his dandy cane once more in kid-gloved hands he left the cabin.

The promenade deck was deserted. Grand folk were dressing for dinner. George took joy in the sudden solitude of the vast expanse of decking. He dawdled along the rows of steamer chairs, past the tennis court and the shuttlec.o.c.k area, sauntered to the edge of the deck and ran his gloved fingers along the guardrail. Chancing to look over, he viewed the lifeboats slung beneath, each canvas-covered and tethered by hawsers. George Fox c.o.c.ked his head upon one side.

'Lifeboats?' he said to no one but himself. 'If this mighty craft was to plummet suddenly from the heavens, I am not quite certain how the lifeboats would help.'

Then George caught a glimpse of something untoward. A flicker of movement above one of the lifeboats. The canvas covering was being rolled back by someone within. George looked on as a colourful head emerged into vision, followed by naked shapely shoulders. Then George saw a was.h.i.+ng bowl being lifted and tipped over the side. George's heart gave a tiny little jump. A stowaway on board!

George crouched down lest he be seen and peeped over the edge of the deck. The stowaway was clearly a rather attractive young woman with bright-red hair in swirling ringlets, sporting a jaunty little topper with a pair of evening goggles.

And nothing whatsoever more.

The stowaway was naked as could be.

George's mouth hung open and his eyes grew round and starey.

The stowaway was naughty Ada Lovelace.

George ducked back and rose to his feet and smiled very broadly. Ada Lovelace, who had used him so wickedly to gain entrance to the Crystal Palace. She had told George that she had arrived in London upon the Empress of Mars Empress of Mars, but in the light of her wickedness he had come to doubt this. It would never have crossed his mind that she travelled upon the airs.h.i.+p as a stowaway.

George took himself over to the nearest steamer chair and settled himself into it. This was indeed a 'situation', and one, George considered, that might in some way be turned to his advantage. He was not a vindictive lad, far from it. The concept of vengeance was alien to him. But perhaps some tiny punishment might be meted out, to teach the errant young woman to pursue less evil ways.

'The promenade deck is deserted,' said George to himself. 'I could perhaps do a wee-wee down upon her.'

But then, appalled that such a terrible thought had entered his head, he modified it to the emptying of an ice bucket. But then considering that this would be rather cruel, George took to wondering what else he might do.

Then he shrugged and sighed. Nothing whatever nasty, it simply was not in him. George returned to the guardrail, leaned upon it and gazed down. Ada was half-decent now, in glorious drawers and a singlet.

George licked his lips and then called down, 'Miss Lovelace, we meet again.'

George saw the lovely woman freeze, then frightened eyes glanced up to meet his smiling gaze.

'You,' she said in scarce but a whisper. 'You are here. But how?'

And then, suddenly aware of how little she was wearing, Ada Lovelace ducked away beneath the canvas covering and George took in the heavens with a grin.

The airs.h.i.+p drifted just above the clouds of early evening. Above, the sky spread out in all its black and star-strewn beauty. George, who knew a little of astronomy, could discern the simple constellations, plus Venus there and also Mars, all pink and gently s.h.i.+mmering.

At length he heard movement below and was given to some surprise when a neatly dressed Ada Lovelace swarmed up the lifeboat's mooring hawser and climbed onto the deck.

'You have risen somewhat in the world, George Fox,' she said, with scarce a hint of breathlessness.

'Lord George Fox,' said George. 'You met me when I was travelling incognito. I believe I mentioned to you that I was of independent means.' George Fox,' said George. 'You met me when I was travelling incognito. I believe I mentioned to you that I was of independent means.'

Ada Lovelace made one of those faces that is capable of saying so much without actually having to vocalise anything.

'And I find you in such regrettable circ.u.mstances,' said George. 'I will summon the major-domo at once and demand he upgrade your accommodation.'

'Pray sir, no,' said Ada. 'I believe you understand my circ.u.mstances well enough. I apologise for using you so poorly, it was unforgivable of me. But I am in dire need and you have the advantage of me. If it is your wish to use me as you will, so be it, if in return you do not report me to the major-domo.'

'Use you as I will?' George's eyes widened once more. That of course would be one way of 'settling the score', as it were. And Ada was a very lovely woman.

'No,' said George. 'I am a gentleman and to take such advantage of a helpless woman would be anathema to me.'

'Oh,' said Ada. And there was perhaps a certain hint of disappointment in the manner of her saying it. 'Well, I thank you, kind sir,' and she curtseyed.

'We will put it into the hands of the major-domo,' said George. 'He will know what to do for the best.'

'Oh no, Lord George, please no.'

'I am joking,' said George. 'Are you hungry?'

'I am rarely anything but but hungry. I come out and scavenge at this time of day, when the posh are dressing for dinner, and later when they have all gone to their bunks.' hungry. I come out and scavenge at this time of day, when the posh are dressing for dinner, and later when they have all gone to their bunks.'

'Come dine with me,' said George.

'In the great dining hall? I could not. I have no ticket and therefore no seat at a table.'

'It is a beautiful evening,' said George. 'Perhaps we might dine right here. Al fresco, as it were. I am sure that one of the bellboys might be prevailed upon to bring us something.'

Ada Lovelace gazed up into George's eyes.

The eyes of Ada Lovelace were large and green. Lit by the moonlight, George viewed twin reflections of himself therein. It seemed to George a moment of surpa.s.sing intimacy. 'Seat yourself there at that wicker table,' said George, 'and I will arrange everything.'

He turned to take his leave and then turned back. 'You will still be here when I return?' said he.

'I will,' said Ada. 'I promise.'

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They dined upon roasted quail and sweet potatoes, asparagus tips and broccoli spears. They drank champagne from fluted gla.s.ses, munched upon truffles and sweet pet.i.ts fours.

And all alone upon that deck they toasted each other and the stars and George was very happy.

'Tell me,' he said, when he thought that the time might be right, 'why have you been reduced to living such a life? You are clearly a young lady of some refinement. Has Fate used you cruelly?'

Ada Lovelace stared into her gla.s.s. 'I might ask such questions of you,' she replied. 'You were not badly brought up. Your accent, however, is not one of a public school and when we first met you reeked of embalming fluid and wore the costume of a showman's zany.'

'a.s.sistant,' said George. 'a.s.sistant.'

'And you do not possess a t.i.tle. Lord Lord Fox indeed.' Fox indeed.'

'It has a certain ring to it,' said George, viewing his lovely dining companion through his champagne gla.s.s. 'And one day, who knows, I might become a lord.'

'And I a lady,' said Ada. 'Or perhaps the Queen of Sheba is as likely.'

'You are evading offering an answer to my question,' said George. 'I have treated you with kindness and furnished you with food and drink am I asking too much to learn of your misfortunes? Perhaps I might even be able to help you in some way.'

Ada Lovelace said that she was sorry. She was used now to being alone and fending for herself. She was of a respectable background but it had been discerned early that she possessed the most extraordinary skills in the field of mathematics. She was in fact a child prodigy. But, and here a big but sadly presented itself. No university would take on this arithmetically inclined child genius because she was a girl. She yearned to take employment in some scientific field of endeavour, possibly something to do with the development of Mr Babbage's Difference Engine or the further understanding and back-engineering of captured Martian technology. But she would never be granted such opportunities in England and so she was running away, or indeed being carried away, to America, aboard the Empress of Mars Empress of Mars, to seek a position suited to her prodigious talents in a land that offered greater prospects to a woman than did her own home country.

'Well,' said George, when Ada's tale was done. 'I wish you all the bestest for it. Everyone should have the opportunity to follow their dream, and I have heard it said that America offers many opportunities. I hope that you will find what you seek in America.'

'Thank you, Lord George,' said Ada, gazing up at George and fluttering her eyelids. 'You are a very nice young gentleman and it would please me greatly to call you my friend.'

George smiled somewhat wanly. Young ladies always said that to him. They always wanted just to be his friend, though best friend best friend some of them said. And though George was eager to take a lover and experience the joys that s.e.xual intercourse were promised to offer, it seemed that this was unlikely to occur before he met with a young woman who wanted more than simply friends.h.i.+p. some of them said. And though George was eager to take a lover and experience the joys that s.e.xual intercourse were promised to offer, it seemed that this was unlikely to occur before he met with a young woman who wanted more than simply friends.h.i.+p.

Although, if she wanted marriage, she might make George wait.

Sudden sounds drew George's attention. Time had pa.s.sed more quickly than he had supposed. Dinner was over and folk were now issuing onto the promenade deck for after-dinner strollings, c.o.c.ktails and cheroots.

'I have so enjoyed this evening together,' said George.

But, turning, he found only a half-empty gla.s.s upon the wicker table.

Ada Lovelace had slipped away.

And George was all alone.

15.

Up on high amongst the clouds the airs.h.i.+p took but fifteen hours to span the great Atlantic. Which was a remarkably good start to a journey that was scheduled to last for seventy-nine days. George, who had been having a bit of a lie-in, awoke to the professor's knockings at his cabin door and was amazed to discover that the Empress of Mars Empress of Mars was already approaching New York. was already approaching New York.

But rather saddened too was George, because he had hoped to spend more time with Ada. More time, he had hoped, that might lead to something greater than just friends.h.i.+p. But here, so swiftly, was New York and here she would jump s.h.i.+p.

'And whatever happened to you last night?' Professor Coffin bustled all about in George's cabin. Interfering with things, toying about with George's brand-new, ivory-handled, badger-haired shaving brush. Needlessly dusting at George's top hat. 'I missed you at dinner. Shared a table with a Russian research chemist named Orflekoff, and his grandson, Ivan.'

George did not rise to that one.

'Also an American false-limb manufacturer by the name of Fischel and his little son, Artie.'

Nor that one.