The Japanese Devil Fish Girl and Other Unnatural Attractions Part 13

'And the Christian Fundamentalists believe this, do they?' George asked.

'Doesn't everyone?' asked the bootboy. 'Makes common sense to me.'

George shook his head somewhat sadly. 'I think we should all try to live in peace with one another,' said he.

'Oh, me too, sir. Once we've sent those alien swine back to where they come from.'

George momentarily considered pitching the bootboy over the side. Did the world really need a racist p.o.r.nographer? Did it already have sufficient? Or if it had none, did it actually need any at all?

'You're looking at me in a right queer fas.h.i.+on,' said the bootboy. 'In case there is any misunderstanding, please allow me to disillusion you. Just because a young man chooses to pursue a career in filthy literature, it does not necessarily follow that such a young man is a s.e.xual pervert eager to engage in acts of sodomy.'

'Stop right there,' said George. 'I was certainly not thinking what you might think that I am thinking.'

'I am thinking that, to judge by that sentence, a career in any kind of literature is probably not for you,' said the lad.

And for his outspokenness he received a buffet to the head that sent him reeling.

'Sorry,' said George. 'But you really really asked for that.' asked for that.'

'Quite so, sir,' said the bootboy. 'Violence is the eloquence of the unlettered, I always say. And always safer meted out to one smaller than yourself.'

'That is quite enough,' said George. 'Sit quietly there until things calm down and the fire is extinguished, then we will descend and go about our separate business. Do you understand?'

'I do, sir, yes.' And the bootboy took to silence.

But not quite as a duck will do to water.

He fidgeted about, eager to hold forth upon anything and everything. George sighed inwardly and stared all around and about. Somewhere in the distance he caught a glimpse of colour upon the airs.h.i.+p's silver upper parts. A little glimpse of red amidst that silver. George s.h.i.+elded his eyes to the setting sun and stared very hard indeed. And then he told the bootboy to stay where he was and George marched off across the vast surface at a trot.

She was seated most comfortably. She had a picnic hamper open beside her. Freshly cut sandwiches laid out on two plates. A fine selection of cakes. As George approached, she smiled upon him and raised a champagne gla.s.s.

'I rather hoped,' said Ada Lovelace, pa.s.sing up a gla.s.s of bubbly to George, 'that if anyone had the presence of mind to climb up, rather than jump down, that someone might be you.'

George smiled hugely, accepted the gla.s.s and sipped champagne from it. 'How lovely to meet you once more,' he said. 'Would you mind if I joined you for tea?'

But George did not get to take tea, because another explosion and yet another shock wave knocked him from his feet.

20.

Flat on his back on the top of an airs.h.i.+p, George gazed up at the sky. The sun was sinking low now and the stars were coming out. George could just see Venus rising with them, winking its mystical eye . . .

When an awful rus.h.i.+ng roaring sound banged his ears about.

'What now?' moaned George, and, 'When will this madness end?'

'Quite shortly, I believe,' said Ada Lovelace, helping George into a seated position and refilling his rather spilled gla.s.s.

'That noise?' George did bas.h.i.+ngs at the side of his head, whilst holding his gla.s.s steadily in the other hand to avoid any further champagne spillage. 'What was that horrible noise?'

Then George followed this question up with another, to the effect of, 'What is happening now now?'

'The Empress of Mars Empress of Mars is taking off,' said Ada Lovelace, carefully pouring champagne. 'And in answer to your first question "What was that horrible noise?" that would be the s.h.i.+p's...o...b..ard defence and retaliatory systems finally engaging. One of Mr Tesla's innovations. Reverse-engineered Martian technology. A heat ray, it's commonly called.' is taking off,' said Ada Lovelace, carefully pouring champagne. 'And in answer to your first question "What was that horrible noise?" that would be the s.h.i.+p's...o...b..ard defence and retaliatory systems finally engaging. One of Mr Tesla's innovations. Reverse-engineered Martian technology. A heat ray, it's commonly called.'

'What?' went George, and now most seriously all agape, he sought to make some kind of sense of all that was going on around him.

Had George been granted a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree all-around overview of what was happening beneath, he would have seen that the great airs.h.i.+p was now ringed by a wall of fire. The trees of Central Park were ablaze. Anarchist snipers, or perhaps they were Christian Fundamentalists, were leaping on-fire from branches. Surviving jumpers were patting at their flaming selves. And the great airs.h.i.+p was rising. Up and up and up some more. It was most alarming.

Mooring lines strained and snapped, the Empress of Mars Empress of Mars swung about, cleaving the sky in a mighty arc. And fire poured down from its weaponry, raking over Central Park, striking the high office towers surrounding it. swung about, cleaving the sky in a mighty arc. And fire poured down from its weaponry, raking over Central Park, striking the high office towers surrounding it.

Ada Lovelace clung to George and George was glad for this clinging. Up and away went the Empress of Mars Empress of Mars, trailing fire behind her.

George and Ada remained atop the airs.h.i.+p. They watched as New York fell astern, as the flames became but a dim and distant glow that presently was gone into the evening.

'I do believe,' said George, 'that a great deal of New York City is now gone up in flames.'

Ada Lovelace shrugged and said, 'They started it.'

Which caused George to think of the bootboy and wonder whether he had survived.

'If you are thinking of me, I'm fine, guv'nor,' said that very lad. Who was safely to be seen sitting by Ada's picnic hamper and tucking into the fruit cake.

'This is madness,' said George, much rattled. 'All of this is madness.'

'I do not think that the crew that manned the heat ray actually meant to do that amount of damage,' said Ada. 'Although they might have got carried away in all the excitement.'

'How do you know about this heat ray, anyway?' George asked.

'I know every inch of this craft,' said Ada. 'I've been living aboard it since it was first launched. They have many secrets hidden on this s.h.i.+p, but none are hidden from me.'

'You are a most extraordinary young woman,' George observed. 'Do you think that it is safe to go down now?'

'I should think so. But I expect that tonight's Kinematic presentation will have to be cancelled.'

The promenade deck had lost much of its charm. Wounded folk were laid out on the steamer chairs. Others who had moved beyond the wounded state, into that state known as death, were covered head to toe with towels and blankets. There was general all-around moaning and grief and all traces of the previous gaiety had departed. Those who could walk were for the most part doing their best to minister to those who could not, but the deck had the look of a war zone to it, very grim indeed.

George caught with difficulty the eye of a wine waiter, who was doing his best to avoid eye contact and make himself appear as tiny as could be.

'Do you know what is happening?' George asked this fellow. 'Are we heading back to London, do you know?'

'I don't think so, sir,' the other replied. 'San Francisco next stop and making good time with the wind behind us.'

'We are going on on with the journey?' George said. with the journey?' George said.

'According to the captain.' The wine waiter put on a professional face. 'People have paid a lot of money for this trip, sir. We can't go letting them down now, can we?'

'What?' went George. 'Not let them down? How many dead, I ask you?'

'Dead?' said the wine waiter. 'Dead? Dead is such an ugly word, isn't it? I myself prefer the term "non-dining pa.s.sengers".'

'How many dead dead?' George demanded to be told.

'I believe there will be one hundred and eighty-nine vacant seats in the dining hall tonight, sir. I might possibly be able to give you and your lovely companion here an upgrade. Lord Brentford's table has become available. But for his monkey butler and I am sure you would not mind sharing with him.'

George looked the wine waiter up and down. That was was insolence, wasn't it? Just like the bootboy. The menials aboard this sky-s.h.i.+p really held the pa.s.sengers in considerable contempt. insolence, wasn't it? Just like the bootboy. The menials aboard this sky-s.h.i.+p really held the pa.s.sengers in considerable contempt.

'Yes,' said George. 'My name is Lord Lord George Fox and Lord Brentford's table will be fine. Lead us to it at once, my man. And bring us a bottle of bubbly.' George Fox and Lord Brentford's table will be fine. Lead us to it at once, my man. And bring us a bottle of bubbly.'

The folk in the dining hall were not looking altogether well. Those who weren't actually charred were rather red of face, sunburned in appearance, peripheral victims of the airs.h.i.+p's...o...b..ard defence and retaliatory systems. Most appeared to be in a state of shock. Few were actually eating.

The wine waiter did polite pullings-out and pus.h.i.+ngsback of chairs. George and Ada smiled upon him.

'Bring the champagne,' said George.

The wine waiter sauntered away without haste.

George shrugged his shoulders to Ada.

Ada, however, did not see this shrug. She was leafing through the vellum pages of the menu and salivating somewhat as she did so. She did, however, look up, just the once, at George.

'Can I order any anything?' she asked him.

'Anything you like,' said George. 'Anything you like.'

And then he thought about the settling up of the bill. Which caused him to think about Professor Coffin. Which in turn caused George to think about what a terrible person he, George, must be, not to have thought about the professor earlier. What if he was dead?

'Oh no,' said George. 'How terrible of me. What a foul fellow am I?'

'Are you?' asked Ada, without looking up.

'My travelling companion, the professor he might be dead and I am sitting here with you and-'

'He isn't dead,' said Ada.

'You know him?' George asked. 'You know who I am talking about?'

'The s.h.i.+fty fellow who took you to Barnum's American Museum this morning.'

'What?' went George, of a sudden.

'I slipped off the airs.h.i.+p just after you, George. I saw you enter the cab. I heard him tell the cabbie where to drive to.'

'The American Museum?' George did wrackings of his brain, but no memories of the American Museum came to him.

'It is all very odd,' said George. 'But how do you know the professor is not dead?'

'Because he is coming this way now,' said Ada. 'Do you think I should leave?'

'Certainly not,' George told her. 'I do not really approve of lying, but I will not contradict anything you care to tell him. Should you wish to elevate your social status to "Her Ladys.h.i.+p", or whatever.'

And George smiled at Ada, who smiled back at George, and then both of them smiled at the professor.

'Fiddle de, fiddle dum,' said that fellow, dancing up and bowing low. 'You are in good health, young George, the saints be thanked for it. I have been scouring the s.h.i.+p for you, in fear that you might have taken a spill. But you are well and in the company of a beautiful young woman and and at Lord Brentford's table. Good evening, Darwin.' at Lord Brentford's table. Good evening, Darwin.'

Lord Brentford's monkey butler gibbered in reply.

'I am well,' said George, 'and very pleased to see that you are too and this is-'

'Ada Fox,' said Ada. 'I am George's sister.'

'Sister?' said Professor Coffin, falling back in surprise. said Professor Coffin, falling back in surprise. 'Sister, 'Sister, George? You never spoke to me of any sister. This is a great surprise to me.' George? You never spoke to me of any sister. This is a great surprise to me.'

'No more than it is to me,' said George. 'Which is to say, of course, that I did not know that my sister was on board. We are not a close family. My sister has come to America to seek work as a-'

'Dancer,' said Ada 'Fox'.

'Mathematician?' said George.

'Champagne, sir?' said the wine waiter. 'And will your sinister grandparent be joining you for dinner?'

'What did you say?' asked Professor Coffin of the wine waiter.

'I asked whether the superior superior grandparent to wit yourself, sir would be joining His young Lords.h.i.+p here for dinner.' grandparent to wit yourself, sir would be joining His young Lords.h.i.+p here for dinner.'

'I certainly will,' said Professor Coffin, and, throwing back the tails of his coat, flung himself down onto a chair.

Champagne was danced around. Grand food was ordered and consumed, conversation merried itself and at least on Lord George's table everyone was having a good time.

'Can we keep the monkey butler?' George asked Professor Coffin. 'He is an orphan now, it seems.'

Professor Coffin made a jolly face. 'Certainly,' said he. 'Did you and your sister have pets when you were children?'

'Yes,' said Ada.

'No,' said George.

But both spoke together.

'Which is to say,' said George, 'that yes, Ada did, but no, I did not.'

'And what pets did you have?' asked the professor.

'Dog,' said George.