The Amazing Mexican Secret Part 1

The Amazing Mexican Secret.

by Jeff Brown.

1.

Ole!

"You have met your match!" Stanley Lambchop called down the hallway to his younger brother, Arthur.

Arthur snorted and stomped his foot.

"My amigo amigo is right!" said Carlos, their friend from next door who had slept over. Stanley knew that is right!" said Carlos, their friend from next door who had slept over. Stanley knew that amigo amigo meant "friend" in Spanish. "You will never defeat a great matador-and cape-like us!" meant "friend" in Spanish. "You will never defeat a great matador-and cape-like us!"

Carlos took Stanley's hands and dangled him just off the ground. This was not very difficult, because Carlos was quite tall for his age. Also, Stanley was only half an inch thick.

Stanley had been flat ever since the enormous bulletin board over his bed fell on him one night while he was sleeping. Sometimes he found being flat no fun at all. People had a habit of sitting on him on the bus. But there were good things about being flat, too. Stanley could slide under doors. He could travel inexpensively through the mail. And he could be a very good bullfighter's cape whenever Carlos came over to play.

Arthur charged down the hall, headed straight for them. At the very last moment, Carlos swung Stanley upward. Arthur pa.s.sed below as Stanley's toes brushed the ceiling.

"Ole!" Carlos and Stanley cried triumphantly. They turned to face their opponent.

Arthur narrowed his eyes and slowly backed up to the other end of the hall.

Stanley knew to take his brother very seriously when Arthur was mad. After all, it wasn't always easy for Arthur, having a brother who was flat and could do so many unusual things. Plus, Stanley was dressed all in red, which Carlos said made bulls angry.

With a roar, Arthur rushed toward them. He was the fastest bull Stanley had ever seen in their house. Carlos tightened his grip on Stanley's hands.

Stanley took a deep breath and- "BOYS!!" a voice bellowed right behind them as Carlos swept Stanley through the air.

It was Mr. Lambchop! Stanley was about to swing right into him!

Stanley pointed his toes as hard as he could. They skidded against the ceiling, bringing him to a stop.

The good news was that Stanley Lambchop had not crashed into his father. The bad news was that he was now upside down and face-to-face with him.

"Haven't I told you, 'No horsing around?!'" Mr. Lambchop said.

"But we weren't playing horses, Dad!" protested Arthur.

Mrs. Lambchop appeared from the kitchen. "Arthur is right, dear," she said. "One shouldn't call it horseplay when they were playing bullfight." Stanley's parents were very much in favor of proper speech whenever possible.

"My cousin Carmen del Junco is a famous matador in Mexico," Carlos admitted. "It is in my blood."

"Speaking of Mexico," Mrs. Lambchop said, smiling, "guess what's for breakfast."

Everyone followed her into the kitchen. "What is it?" Stanley asked, poking the yellow mound on his plate with a fork. It certainly smelled good.

"Why, it's huevos rancheros huevos rancheros!" Mrs. Lambchop said.

"Looks more like eggs," said Arthur.

Carlos chuckled. "Huevos means 'eggs' in Spanish. means 'eggs' in Spanish. Huevos rancheros Huevos rancheros is a special dish with eggs on top of a tortilla." He elbowed Stanley. "You will like the tortilla, is a special dish with eggs on top of a tortilla." He elbowed Stanley. "You will like the tortilla, amigo amigo. It is flat like you!"

Everybody dug in.

"Ish ish delis.h.i.+s.h.!.+" exclaimed Arthur.

"Please don't talk with your mouth full, Arthur," Mr. Lambchop said. "Harriet, you've outdone yourself. These huevos rancheros huevos rancheros are delicious." are delicious."

Stanley couldn't agree more, so he shoveled another forkful into his mouth.

"I made it with the seasoning that Carlos's mother gave me," Mrs. Lambchop explained proudly. For her birthday, Mrs. Lambchop had a party with a cooking theme. Stanley had given her a spatula, although he was almost injured when Arthur tried to flip him with it.

"Ah," Carlos said, nodding. "My great grandmother's secret ingredient!"

"Secret ingredient?" Stanley's mother leaned forward. "What could it be?"

"I cannot say," said Carlos.

"We promise we won't tell anyone," pleaded Mrs. Lambchop.

"I cannot tell you, Senora Senora Lambchop, because I do not know." Carlos shrugged. "n.o.body knows. My great grandmother guards her secret closely. There are spies trying to steal it from her always! It is sad, because when she dies, the secret will go with her." Lambchop, because I do not know." Carlos shrugged. "n.o.body knows. My great grandmother guards her secret closely. There are spies trying to steal it from her always! It is sad, because when she dies, the secret will go with her."

"How old is she?" asked Arthur.

"She is a hundred and three," said Carlos, with a frown.

"That's quite young for a person over a hundred," said Mr. Lambchop.

"Carlos," said Mrs. Lambchop, "I love cooking. And this-this is the most wonderful flavor I have ever known. I would be honored to carry on the tradition of your great grandmother's secret ingredient!"

"But how?" said Carlos.

"I'll call her up," said Mrs. Lambchop.

Carlos shook his head. "My great grandmother does not have a telephone. She lives in a very remote part of Mexico."

"I'll write her a letter!" said Mrs. Lambchop.

"She would never send her secret in the mail," said Carlos.

Stanley's mother thought for a long moment. Then, very quietly, she said, "We'll send a messenger."

"I'm your man!" Arthur leaped to his feet. He was always ready for an adventure.

But Mrs. Lambchop was not looking at Arthur. "Stanley, those red sweat-pants look comfortable enough," she said. "I'll fold you some tortillas for the trip. We have to get you in the mail!"

"Aw!" pouted Arthur.

"You're sending me to Mexico?" Stanley gasped. His mother usually seemed more concerned about his health and safety.

"Stanley Lambchop, you tasted the secret ingredient," said Mrs. Lambchop. "We can not let that secret die."

"Your mother is right, Stanley," Mr. Lambchop said. "You have traveled all over the world. You explored the pyramids of Egypt."

"You practiced martial arts in j.a.pan," Mrs. Lambchop chimed in.

"You flew on arctic winds to northern Canada," grumbled Arthur. "That was another trip I missed."

"Why, Mexico is just south of the United States of America," said Mrs. Lambchop. "That makes it practically next door!"

2.

The Matador Stanley Lambchop awoke to the sound of applause just outside his envelope. Somebody must have informed the Mexicans of his arrival!

Since becoming flat, Stanley had grown used to attention. Sometimes he did not like it, especially when strangers called him "Flatty." But he had also found that there was such a thing as good good attention. attention.

He remembered the reporters who crowded around him after he saved President Lincoln's nose from breaking off Mount Rushmore. He thought of the crowds calling his name as he stood with the movie star Oda n.o.bu in j.a.pan. And now, he had arrived in Mexico to thunderous applause!

Stanley hoped he would have a minute to straighten himself. He liked to look presentable for his public.

At that very moment, someone tore the envelope open, and Stanley leaped out, smiling for the crowd.

But there was no crowd in sight.

It appeared that Stanley was just outside the door of a ma.s.sive stadium. The crowd must have been inside. A giant sign above the gate said PLAZA DE TOROS MeXICO PLAZA DE TOROS MeXICO.

Staring down at Stanley was a beautiful woman in a fancy velvet outfit with a frilly white s.h.i.+rt. "Quien es?" she said sharply.

"I'm afraid I don't speak Spanish," said Stanley, slightly embarra.s.sed.

"Who are you?" she repeated in English.

"My name is Stanley Lambchop," answered Stanley. "I am here for the secret ingredient of Isabela Beluga Tortilla de Sandoval." (Carlos had taught him how to properly p.r.o.nounce his great grandmother's name before licking the envelope.) "Then you are a spy!" the woman cried.

"No, I'm not!" Stanley said. "Look!" Ever since Stanley had had a difficult time at the Cairo post office, he always made sure to travel with the proper doc.u.mentation. In this case, Carlos had written a letter in Spanish, explaining the situation. Stanley pulled it from his pocket.

When the woman had finished reading, she peered down at Stanley.

"You are Stanley the flat boy?"

Stanley raised his eyebrows.

"Forgive me. Carlos has been telling me of you in letters," she said. "I thought you were in his imagination."

"You know Carlos?!" said Stanley, surprised.

"He is my cousin," the woman said, nodding.

"Then you must know Carmen del Junco, the famous bullfighter!"

The woman looked confused. Then she smiled for the first time. "I do," she admitted.

"Julio!" she called suddenly to a man nearby. She said something in Spanish and then turned back to Stanley. "You are my guest here," she said. "Julio will take care of you. I will join you after."

"After what?" asked Stanley.

Without answering, the woman opened the huge door to the stadium and slipped inside.

The crowd's roar got louder.

Julio led Stanley to another, smaller door and then through a maze of corridors. They came out among the seats of the crowded stadium. There must have been tens of thousands of people. Julio directed Stanley to a lone empty seat in the front row.

In the center of the ring was the woman who had opened Stanley's envelope. She waved a red cape in the air as a bull ran into the ring.

Stanley slapped his head with a clap: She She was the famous matador! was the famous matador!

The bull charged. Stanley held his breath as Carmen del Junco, the great bullfighter, calmly stepped around it, swinging her cape before its eyes. Her long brown hair flowed through the air.

The bull came at her again and again. Stanley could see the side of the bull brus.h.i.+ng against her as it sped past.

Carmen turned and gestured up to Stanley with a flourish. She was looking right at him!

Stanley jumped up and waved. Someone in the row behind him slapped him on the back enthusiastically.

That made Stanley lose his balance. He fell forward into the ring.

Carmen waved her cape at the bull, but suddenly it wasn't looking at her.

It was looking at Stanley.

And Stanley was wearing all red!

The bull charged. It looked much bigger, faster, and madder than Arthur. Its hooves shook the ground. Its eyes blazed.