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By not living up to the standards of her family, Eden carried around a huge and usually well-hidden black mark on her self esteem. She didn't fit in. She wasn't good enough. She didn't know why she was different, and she wanted to be like them, but their lifestyle made her unhappy. Vaguely, she understood that the lifestyle she had chosen made her unhappy too, just not as much.
Her dissatisfaction with life had drawn her into the BDSM lifestyle. The master in Paris had been correct. She wasn't really a dom, but she had needed that life at the time. With Colin, she had no urge to whip or control him. The handcuffs or the rope might come in handy later, but her collection of crops and whips were out of the question. And she knew in her heart that she wouldn't miss the life. s.e.x with Colin hadn't been kinky, but it had been the best s.e.x of her life.
She got up and had lunch, resisting the strong urge to call Colin. She let the maid in, thinking that clean sheets might be a good thing in case Colin came by at five. All afternoon she paced her suite, thinking about him and refusing to look at her cell phone. Finally, she realized her actions were driven by nerves and she sat down on the sofa to take a long hard look at her emotions. Her dragon wanted Colin. It had been clawing at her from the moment he left. She couldn't ignore the urge to bathe him in her dragonfire. She'd never felt that way about a man before. Never in her life had it been difficult to control her dragon urges, but one glance from Colin's midnight blue eyes and she wanted to jump on him, pin him down, impale herself on his big d.i.c.k, and unleash her dragon on him, fire and all. She had to be feeling this way for a reason and logic decreed that it was because he was her mate.
Despite the fact that she'd given up on having a mate, she couldn't find it in herself to be shocked at her conclusions. Something in her subconscious must have recognized him right away. The strength and distinctiveness of his scent had been a clue. Dragons responded to the scent of their mate. Usually, other immortals couldn't smell the scent. Also, the fact that Colin smelled like vanilla and sugar cookies held an important clue.
That scent represented innocence to her. Simplicity. Warmth. Comfort. While Colin couldn't be called a s.e.xual innocent, he had an innocence of spirit and an open nature. She'd always a.s.sumed vampires were dark and secretive, yet Colin was neither. He wouldn't play games with her or lie to her. He didn't have an agenda. His openness drew her like the proverbial moth to flame. He was Sean's diametric opposite. No one did devious and secretive better than Sean. Eden needed a man far removed from that kind of behavior.
In the end, as she reached for her phone, she decided that Colin must be her mate. He was perfect for her, Alpha without being an arrogant a.s.shole. She needed a mate who equaled her strength of will, yet at the same time, she couldn't live with a man who rode roughshod over her feelings and wishes. She wanted a partner, someone who would share everything with her, and who would be her equal. Most Alphas took control and never released it. Eden couldn't live like that, but with Colin, she didn't think she'd have to.
By the time she decided to text him, she was convinced he was special. She thought he might be her mate, but she wanted a bit more proof. The only way to get it would be to spend time with him. She already wanted him with every breath she drew. Her pulse pounded just thinking about him and her panties grew wet. G.o.ds! She needed to touch him soon...
The text message had gone out without her giving it much thought. When he didn't respond right away, she grew worried. But, as a businessman, he likely had things to do, so she knew she should give him time to respond. She stripped off her clothes and showered, putting on a hotel robe. When she walked out of the bathroom, her senses suddenly went wild with the feeling that Colin was near. Heart racing, she pulled open the suite's door to find him standing there about to knock.
Their quick, hard f.u.c.king had exhilarated her. When he turned her around, she trembled, wondering if he would f.u.c.k her a.s.s. He hadn't, but she knew one day soon he would. The submissive position he'd put her in, bending her over to take her from behind, reminded her of an Alpha dragon determined to mate his woman. Because of that, she'd never been a fan of that position, but with Colin, it had been beyond exciting.
Now, they spoke about the thing that, incredibly, seemed to be on both their minds. Colin seemed hesitant with her, as if he thought she would bolt on him when he revealed that they might be mates. She had to admit that if she hadn't already been thinking of this all day, the shock might have sent her running from him in fear. However, she'd already come to the same conclusion. They had something special. They just needed to figure out if that meant they were mates.
When his thoughts entered her head so easily during their discussion, she had the wry thought that some deity had worked overtime today. They decided to figure the mate thing out and then, BAM! The truth popped directly into their heads. It was startling and disconcerting to have Colin's thoughts in her head, but she instinctively knew it was right.
Colin's statement that he thought she was his bloodmate gave her a sense of freedom, something she hadn't felt in a long time. Not since she'd left her job, her family, and her home, and took off for New York to work as a photographer.
As the years pa.s.sed, the impersonality of her life leeched away that feeling of freedom. She had nothing to show for her life. No home. No friends. No lover. Well, lots of lovers, but no boyfriend. No one close to her. She'd become disconnected from people.
That contentment that filled her upon discovering that Colin was her mate was simply due to the fact that she knew she would never be alone again. Never feel lonely. She finally belonged somewhere...in his arms.
He s.h.i.+fted uncomfortably, and she could sense his rising anxiety, even though he didn't let his thoughts drift into her head. "Aren't you going to say something?" he asked.
Dear G.o.ds. She had been so far into her own head over this incredible discovery that she'd forgotten to answer him.
She threaded her fingers into his short hair and kissed him, quick and hard. "Yes. I have a lot to say actually, but the most important thing is that I think you're right."
His midnight blue eyes widened in shock. A tiny rumble of annoyance flickered through her as she wondered why he persisted in thinking she couldn't get with the program. Sure, she'd walked into Carpe Noctem like the Queen of Kink, but since then she'd shown him another side to her. Just because she'd been a s.e.xual free spirit didn't mean she couldn't accept the truth. Accept it and want it. She was tired of her life. She didn't want to be alone anymore...
"Colin, I like you. I love how you make me feel. Why would I fight something that is obviously good and obviously meant to be?" She kissed him again, feeling his body relax against hers. "I'm not going to tell you everything is gonna be okay because there's a lot of stuff to work out between us. However, the logistics should come last. So can we not talk about them yet? Just concentrate on you and me?"
He nodded, a smile breaking out across his handsome face. "Now, that is something I can endorse," he chuckled, his hands stroking over her naked back.
Eden s.h.i.+vered. His touch felt amazing. s.e.x with Colin had a whole other dimension to it, as if all her previous lovers were black and white and he was Technicolor.
"Actually, I was thinking about that dinner and dancing you mentioned. We can make love in color later." He grinned, letting her know he'd been listening to her thoughts.
Although it felt weird to have someone know her thoughts, Eden was suddenly struck by the sense that before she met Colin, she could have and had screamed b.l.o.o.d.y murder in her head, and no one had ever known of her despair. Now, Colin would always be there. An emotion she couldn't name squeezed her heart and closed her throat.
She nodded, smiling at him. "Dinner and dancing," she agreed.
They sat up and Colin frowned at his suit, lying wrinkled on the floor. "I should just..."
"... go get your stuff," she finished for him.
They looked at each other and grinned. He leaned over and kissed her. "You put on something s.e.xy. I'm going back to my room to shower and pack. I'll be back after I check out," he told her.
Eden nodded. Why pay for two suites? Despite the fact that Colin wouldn't spend much time in his clothes, it would be nice to go out for brunch, she thought wickedly, knowing he could hear her. She watched him dress, her eyes loving the way his long, lean body rippled with muscle. Her brothers were bigger, but she figured Colin would be able to hold his own with them. He was obviously no slouch in the strength department.
"I'm strong enough to carry you in to that Jacuzzi tub and f.u.c.k you until we make the water boil," he joked.
He bent and pressed a kiss to her mouth. Eden's heart began to thump heavily. "Promise?" she laughed as he straightened.
Colin rubbed his fingers over her clan mark and pressed them to her lips. "Dragon swear."
After he left, she showered and dried her hair. Once it hung like sleek black silk around her shoulders, she slapped on a little makeup and got dressed. The dark bronze halter dress complimented her eyes and the matching glittery spike heeled sandals would bring her almost eye-to-eye with Colin. She loved that her height didn't intimidated him. He seemed perfect for her. Still, she knew it would be wise to recognize that not everything would be perfect. She knew they had obstacles to overcome. Her family wouldn't be happy that she mated a vampire for one, despite the fact that her brother Declan had. She had no idea what to do about her job. She didn't even know what Colin did for a living. She knew he lived on the west coast, somewhere near her family, but she didn't know exactly where. There were a hundred things to work out, but she had every confidence that it could be done.
While she waited for Colin to arrive, she turned on her laptop and checked her messages. She had four offers to shoot ads for designers and she turned them all down. This was her time to get to know Colin and figure out their lives.
She didn't want work intruding and she didn't need the jobs. She had been able to pick and choose her a.s.signments for years, and that ability would come in very handy now.
She had email from her siblings too, but Eden ignored them. She'd read them later. She didn't need the headache at the moment. Her life had changed and she felt really good about it. Excited. Happy. She had a sense of being renewed, like a snake that had shed its skin. She'd left behind her old life and the future lay before her, s.h.i.+ning and brilliant.
When Colin arrived, carrying his suitcase and laptop, she had to restrain herself from throwing her arms around him. He gave her an odd look, the corner of his mouth lifting in a wry smile.
"I can hear your excitement, you know," he told her as he set his suitcase down and placed his laptop case on the desk next to hers.
Eden laughed. "Ask me if I care. You have set me free and I am reveling in the sensation." He wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling her neck. "Finding your mate does leave you feeling rather relieved and free, doesn't it? It's like finding a buried treasure."
She leaned against his silk clad chest. "Better than treasure. It's finding your future when you had none."
Colin's fingers speared through her hair and he tilted her head back so that their eyes met. "You were really that bad, Eden?"
A deep sigh escaped her. "I'm the black sheep. I never do anything right in the eyes of my family. I'm always in hot water. It's oppressive to feel like the bad girl with no future. It's worse when you've been that way for years."
Colin frowned. "It's done now, love. No more black sheep. No more bad girl, except with me. You can be as bad as you want and do everything wrong with me and I will still want you."
The total acceptance in his voice and demeanor brought tears to her eyes. She blinked them back. It wouldn't do to cry all over the man. Finding your mate was supposed to be happy. Maybe she'd been so restless for so many years because she needed to find the man that she fit with, the one who would accept her unconditionally and not try to force her into a mold the way her brother did.
"No more introspection," Colin said, his hand capturing her chin. "Time for some fun."
Eden drew a breath and every bad emotion that she'd carried within her for years fell away. Happiness flooded her.
She was falling in love with Colin. He fit her so well, how could she not fall for him? "I am so ready for fun," she told him, standing on tip toes to kiss him.
She pulled away and got her purse, glancing over her shoulder at him. Dressed casually in an expensive silk s.h.i.+rt the exact color of his eyes, with black designer slacks and a black suede jacket, he appeared just as s.e.xy as he had the night before. His blond hair gleamed gold in the low lights of the suite, but she knew that in actuality it was several shades of blond from flaxen to deepest honey. His well-trimmed pubic hair didn't match the hair on his head exactly, being darker, a cross between pale brown and darkest blond.
Her eyes flickered over his hips noting the substantial bulge behind his zipper and the pull of his slacks over his muscular thighs. The man was so d.a.m.ned good looking and so well built. Her mouth watered just looking at him.
"Stop, or you'll give me a fat head, Eden. And I don't mean the one on my shoulders." Colin said with wry amus.e.m.e.nt.
Coming out of her reverie, which she realized he'd heard, she looked up and found him grinning. Holding out her hand to him, she said, "Later, mister. Right now, I feel like dancing."
Dinner went by in a haze of sensation. Colin fed her bites from his plate. The heady, slightly sweet wine he chose went straight to her head. They shared some fluffy chocolate confection for dessert. And through it all, Eden felt bathed in a golden haze of happiness. After they ate, they headed to Carpe Noctem. The vampire club barely had standing room, but they didn't care. They waved to Karl with a K who sat at the bar, just like the night before. He looked shocked, but waved back, a speculative gleam in his eyes. Eden figured his shock came from knowing that she had a habit of not being seen with the same guy more than once.
Her days of a different man every night were over now, she thought as she wrapped her arms around Colin's neck on the dance floor. His warm hands glided over the naked skin of her back as they moved in time to the slow, sultry music. Dancing with Colin felt easy and natural. He was a good dancer who antic.i.p.ated her moves regardless of the type of song. By the time midnight rolled around, sweat dampened them both and all the seductive rubbing up against each other had them on the verge of ripping their clothes off.
In the cab on the way to the hotel, they made out like teenagers. Eden could barely keep her hands out of Colin's pants, she was so hot for him. She wasn't so restrained in the elevator and the moment her fingers wrapped around his erection, he groaned loudly. His blue eyes gleamed at her.
"Can't even wait another couple of minutes? What if the door opens?"
"Then someone sees me with my hand in your pants," she growled, smoke coming from her nostrils.
The elevator door opened and they bolted for their suite. Eden fumbled with the keycard, and then popped the door open. They stumbled inside, pulling at each other's clothes. Colin hopped on one foot, trying to get out of his slacks and shoes at the same time, his s.h.i.+rt hanging because she'd ripped off all the b.u.t.tons opening it. The top of Eden's dress hung around her waist and she twisted, trying to reach her zipper, while kicking out of the thong that Colin had already pulled down to her knees. A loud thump reverberated through the room before Colin grunted, "Ow!"
Eden turned around and found him standing in his boxer briefs and s.h.i.+rt, rubbing his thigh, his eyes on the open laptop on the desk. "Are you okay? What happened?" she asked, as she got her shoes off and the thong fell to the floor. Colin turned to her, frowning. His eyes had turned dark and stormy and Eden's stomach dropped. The email on her computer was from her brother. Her full name showed clearly in the TO line. For some reason, that email had turned Colin from her eager lover into a man who looked like he wanted answers.
"Your last name is Antaeus?" he bit out, gesturing toward the laptop.
Eden didn't know why, but icy fear squelched her libido. "Yes," she whispered.
"You're Declan Antaeus' younger sister? The one who couldn't be bothered to show up for his wedding? The spoiled rich girl who hangs out with celebrities like Paris Hilton?" he snarled.
A huge invisible hand squeezed Eden's chest. She looked up at Colin, wide eyed and panic stricken at how suddenly her whole world had taken a nosedive. "I'm Declan's sister, yes. But I don't hang out with celebrities and I was stuck at Heathrow airport fogged in with a cancelled flight when my brother got m-married. I called. I spoke to Declan and Sean.
I tried to get home, but I c-couldn't," she whispered, shaken by the stark terror that took hold inside her. "Who are you?"
"Colin Granville."
His terse words crashed through her mind and her happiness drained away. Her brother-in-law. Her brother Declan's new wife, Elysia's, brother. A Granville who believed her so spoiled she couldn't even bother to show up for her brother's wedding. She swallowed hard, her throat suddenly dry and aching. The G.o.ds really had been working overtime to have set her up with such a monumental mind f.u.c.k.
She stumbled into the bathroom, away from Colin. Collapsing on her knees in front of the toilet, she pushed at the lid, getting it up just in time to lose her dinner. Once more her life had become unbelievably f.u.c.ked up, her fragile new hope for a future torn from her. Her mate was her new sister-in-law's brother, and by the tone of his voice and the expression on his face, he didn't want to be related to her, let alone know her. Pain clawed at her and, inside, her dragon roared, unnerved by her despair.
Chapter Six.
Colin couldn't believe his eyes and ears. The woman destined to be his bloodmate was his brother-in-law's younger sister. As she disappeared into the bathroom, he shook his head, thinking, What the f.u.c.k? He glared at the laptop, seeing Eden's name in the To field and Sean's name in the From field. He didn't understand why Sean would make Eden out to be an irresponsible party girl who hung out with the worst celebrity n.o.bodies on the planet. Sean had made a point of telling Colin that Eden couldn't be bothered to come to Declan's wedding. The picture he painted of his sister had been guaranteed to make Colin dislike her.
Anger lashed at him, making him want to hurl the laptop into the wall. The urge to break something rose almost uncontrollably within him. His fists clenched at his sides. Either Eden had lied to him about why she hadn't been at his sister's wedding or Sean had lied to him about Eden. His heart wanted to believe Eden. She had no reason to lie to him.
He didn't really know Sean, but he would have thought that the man had no reason to lie to him either. Still, after what he knew of Eden, what he'd learned of her in the past twenty-four hours, he couldn't believe what Sean had told him about her. His brain joined his heart. Sean had lied to him, not Eden. He was sure of it.
The violent sound of her retching wrenched at him. He slammed the laptop closed and rushed to the bathroom.
She was his bloodmate, and his sudden fury had hurt her so badly she'd lost her dinner. His anger turned on himself for having done this to her. As her mate, he should have believed in her unquestioningly. He should have believed in them...
He skidded to a halt in the doorway, arrested by the sight of her sprawled on the tile floor, her dress around her waist, her slender body wracked with dry heaves. Weakly, she pushed her hair back, s.h.i.+vering. To Colin's horrified eyes, it seemed as if she had folded in on herself, her tall, lush frame appearing shrunken and fragile. A sob came from her crumpled form and his heart jerked in his chest.
Colin strode over to the sink and wet a washcloth with warm water. Then he filled a gla.s.s with cold water. When he turned back to Eden, she sat motionless, her arms wrapped around herself, her face hidden by the long fall of her silky hair. He walked over to her, but when she saw his feet, she said in a hoa.r.s.e voice, "Can you just go, please? I'm sure you want to berate me for the disrespect I've shown your sister, but I think my broken heart is payment enough for any hurt feelings she might have." The pain in her voice ripped him to shreds. Her words lacerated his heart. He knelt beside her, setting the gla.s.s down so he could slide an arm around her and press the warm washcloth into her hands. She sat stiff and motionless for a long moment. Then she lifted her head and what he saw on her face made him feel like the world's biggest a.s.shole.
Tears fell from her beautiful amber eyes, now sunken and red-rimmed in grief. Her lush mouth appeared pinched and pale on her ashen features. Her eyes dropped to the washcloth.
"I don't understand."
Her rough voice, like sandpaper lined her throat, sliced into him even more. He plucked the washcloth from her hands and gently wiped her face. Then he handed her the gla.s.s of water. "Rinse," he said softly.
She obeyed him instantly, as if she had no will of her own. His heart broke with her pain. Rising to his feet, he set the gla.s.s on the counter, returning to lift her limp body into his arms. When she struggled weakly against his arms, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and tightened his arms around her.
"I'm sorry, Eden," he whispered. "I believe you."
He set her on her feet beside the bed. She stood limply, like a doll held within the circle of his arms. Anger at himself for not believing in her made his hands more gentle than usual as he carefully unzipped her dress. The silk fell to the floor and he lifted her, settling her naked body on the sheets. She s.h.i.+vered and he knew it wasn't just with cold.
Her pain tore at his heart.
Quickly, he yanked off his s.h.i.+rt, leaving his briefs on despite the fact that it had been years since he'd gotten into a bed in his underwear. Crawling in beside her, he pulled the covers around them and cuddled her close to his chest, wracking his brain for ways to comfort her and apologize for his ma.s.sive stupidity. Her unnatural stillness petrified him.
The beautiful amber eyes that lit his soul on fire were empty, with only the echo of a mind numbing pain visible in their formerly expressive depths. The Eden he knew...was gone. And he had never been so frightened in his life.
Something warm and wet- her tears- touched his chest. Silent droplets slid down her face, her eyes closed tightly, her mouth held stiffly. She'd closed her mind to him. He cradled her to his chest, dropping kisses all over her face and hair, whatever part of her he could reach. Tipping her head back, he kissed her lips, the taste of her tears sending pain shooting through his body.
A sob escaped her and she moved, her arms closing around him convulsively. "I d-don't u-unders-stand how I c- could h-have fallen f-for y-you s-so f-fast," she stuttered.
"It doesn't matter that it happened quickly, Eden. It only matters that it did. And it matters that I feel the same."
Colin knew in his heart the quiet words he'd spoken were the truth.
She blinked at him, her tears easing. "Y-you d-do?"
He kissed her again, wiping at her tears with his thumbs. "I do." He smiled gently. "Look in my head. You're my mate. My thoughts are yours, love."
Now that he concentrated, he felt the warm, tentative touch of her thoughts to his. Earlier he hadn't been able to detect her presence in his head.
I don't know why your brother lied to me, Eden, but I don't believe him. I only needed a minute to organize my thoughts and shake off my shock. Then I realized that I trust you. You're my bloodmate. I don't know Sean and I don't know why he would lie to me, but he did. He's nothing to me... you, I'm falling in love with.
A long shuddering sigh shook her. He thinks what I do is worthless, that it's some jet setter nothing job. To him, I'm always getting in trouble, doing something wrong. It all comes down to me not wanting to be part of the company. What he told you about me is what he believes. I'm a bad girl, the black sheep of the family.
I don't care what you do for a living, Eden. I don't care if you don't get along with Sean. I barely know the man anyway. I don't care if you don't get along with Declan, although that will be stickier since he's married to my sister. But really, he doesn't matter to you and me, to what's between us.
Eden's body grew warm again. "Declan follows Sean's lead. They all do. Whatever Diandra and Sean decree is law in the Antaeus family," she said quietly, her voice bleak.
Colin could tell that she had given up trying to change her siblings' minds about her. Still, he knew a little more about Declan Antaeus than he did the other members of the family. Eden's words rang true in the sense that it was what she believed. However, it didn't ring true when it came to what he knew about his sister's husband. Declan made his own decisions about people. He might defer to Sean when it came to the family business, but Declan was his own man.
He wouldn't follow Sean's lead if he didn't believe it too. Which made him wonder just what exactly Declan believed about Eden.
Shoving aside his thoughts about the Antaeus family, Colin turned his attention to his bloodmate. "I'm sorry I flew off the handle, Eden," he apologized. "I'll deal with Sean and his lies later. Right now, you are my only concern."
She tightened her arms around him. "I was delirious with happiness, and then suddenly it was ripped from me.