Wuthering Frights Part 6

"s.h.i.+t," he laughed. "Sometimes this job makes me forget what time of day or night it is." He sighed. "I'll see you soon."

Then he hung up the phone and I collapsed onto my couch again, trying to quell the tears that were threatening to re-emerge, but now for a different reason. Now, something within me was snapping at the realization of what I was about to tell Knight-that we were through, that we couldn't date anymore. Of course, I couldn't tell him the real reason-that reason being that my father coerced me into his control by holding Knight's life on the line. Instead, I planned to tell him that things had gotten too complicated for me and that I wasn't comfortable throwing myself into a relations.h.i.+p. I'd buffer that excuse with another one-that since I was now working as a Regulator for the ANC again, I wasn't comfortable carrying on a relations.h.i.+p with my boss. Besides, a relations.h.i.+p between Knight and me was against ANC policy, seeing how he was my manager. I had to admit that I was surprised Knight had never mentioned as much. Sometimes, he definitely bent the rules to suit himself. At any rate, given my past, my reasons for breaking up with him wouldn't seem so farfetched. He always knew I had commitment issues. I'd been so badly hurt by my last relations.h.i.+p, I'd basically given up on men.

I was spared further soliloquies when Knight knocked on the door, a purposeful sound. I stood up and quickly glanced at the mirror on the wall above my couch. I checked my reflection to ensure I didn't look blotchy and red-eyed, or that I'd completely hit rock bottom and been crying my eyes out. I looked okay actually. Maybe a little red, but I could explain that away with allergies. 'Course, as a fairy, I didn't get allergies-being a creature of nature and all-but whatever.

I pulled the door open and greeted Knight with a small smile. He was wearing dark blue jeans and an untucked, long-sleeved, black T-s.h.i.+rt that matched the blackness of his hair. His hair was a little longish, curling around his ears and it gave him a certain unkempt ruggedness that was s.e.xy as all get out. He smiled at me, his full lips spreading into one of the most breathtaking grins I'd ever seen and I felt my entire body deflate on itself. Not only was he beautiful, but he was all around a wonderful person. I felt the exact opposite of a wonderful person-like I was a huge, steaming, stinking dog t.u.r.d on the bottom of his shoe.

"Come in," I said in a near whisper, opening the door wide. He walked past me and threw himself into the chair beside the couch, propping his large feet on my coffee table. He looked so comfortable, as if he'd just come home from a long day of busting criminal a.s.s, and planned to forget the day's events in my armchair. Although he dwarfed my chair, he looked as though he was exactly where he belonged.

"Long night," he offered and I closed the door, locking it, before taking a seat on the couch.

"Did you take care of locking him up?" I asked, referring to Horatio.

"Trey did while I wrote up the paperwork. He was one of Baron's guys. Horatio something or other." After Knight had taken Horatio into custody, he'd let me go home, explaining that he and Trey could take care of things and I looked like I needed to get some z's. Knight knew me well because he obviously a.s.sumed I wasn't going to sleep, which was why he was sitting in my living room now.

"When are the cauldrons coming?" I asked, referring to the s.h.i.+pment in which we disposed of our illegal narcotics busts. Until then, they were kept locked up in the vault. I'd already promised myself to personally see to it that the Yalkemouth was destroyed.

"This week," he answered, eyeing me curiously. "So, Dulce, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Wrong?" I asked, feeling taken aback and sounding just as surprised. Was I wearing my emotions on my sleeve again?

He nodded with a stern expression-like I wasn't going to schmooze myself out of this one. "You look like you've lost ten pounds over the last week and you have bags under your eyes."

"Well, you're beautiful yourself. Thanks for noticing."

He shook his head and leaned forward, squeezing my right thigh just above my knee with his large hand. "I'm serious, Dulcie, what's up?"

I shook my head, refusing to look at him. Then remembering myself, I forced my eyes to meet his and held his gaze. "Nothing's up."

He shrugged and relaxed back into the chair. "Sam said you've been ignoring her-not returning her phone calls. And Dia called yesterday, wondering where the h.e.l.l you were? Apparently, you aren't returning anyone's calls? I had to convince Sam that you were fine and talk her out of an intervention."

"Intervention?" I repeated with a frown, feeling irritation creeping up within me. "That's taking things a little too far." I shook my head as I considered it. "Holy Hades, I've just been ... busy."

"Doing what?" he demanded and his eyes narrowed on me as he crossed his long legs at the ankles. Relaxing against the chair back, he folded his arms behind his head and looked as if he had all the time in the world to listen to me lie my a.s.s off.

"A little of everything." I shrugged. "I've got a lot on my mind."

"That's fair," he said, standing up and approaching me. He dropped down to his knees in front of me and took my hands in his, forcing me to look into his stunningly beautiful blue eyes. "Dulcie, I know you've been through a lot. We've been through a lot. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. If you ever need to talk, if you need a friend, you have me."

I had to choke down the guilt that suddenly welled up within me. More unshed tears were now ready to betray my words again. "Thank you," I managed and then took a deep breath, looking away from him because I knew if I gave him any more eye contact, I'd lose it.

"I know how independent you are and I know how strong you are, Dulcie, but sometimes you need to break your barriers down and let people in. Sometimes you need to talk about things to get through them."

I faced him again and smiled, dropping my eyes to the ground as I realized he was completely right, but I couldn't open up to him. I couldn't talk to him about everything that was going on because it would put his life in jeopardy. "I'll see Sam tomorrow at work and we'll go to lunch," I said hollowly.

"No," Knight said, with an emphatic shake of his head, leaning forward as he did so. "You and Sam take the day off and spend some quality time together. I'll call her in the morning and tell her to expect you at nine a.m., bright and early."

"Knight, you don't have to do that," I started, but his lips were tight, his jaw clenched, which meant he would not be dissuaded. "Thank you," I said finally, allowing him to take each of my hands in his.

"I care about you, Dulcie," he said frankly. "And everything I said to you when we were in High Prison was true."

I felt my stomach turn. We both admitted our love for each other while rotting away in the main prison of the Netherworld. I was awaiting my sentence and Knight was basically sitting on death row. But as far as whatever we said or didn't say, I couldn't think about those things now. If I did, I knew it would break down my resignation as well as my dedication to doing what I had to do.

"Knight, I realize we were both under a lot of pressure when we were in the Netherworld," I started, hating the way it sounded, and, more so, having to pretend that Knight didn't mean as much to me as he did.

"Dulcie, I meant everything I said," he reiterated, his gaze just as penetrating as his tone. His hold on my hands tightened.

I nodded and said nothing, at a complete loss for words. Well, I knew what I had to say, but that didn't make it any easier. And so far, I was sucking at it.

"Did you mean everything you said?" he asked, after I was silent for a few more seconds.

And this was the moment when I knew I had to force the words out-I had to tell him that we couldn't be together any longer but the words seemed stuck in my throat, as if they were clinging to my tongue with all the strength left in them.

You have to do this! I screamed at myself. Knight's life depends on it! But I was still silent. For f.u.c.k's sake, Dulcie!

"Knight, I ..." I started.

Immediately, I could see the pain in his eyes. He knew what I was about to say-probably from my expression or maybe the tone of my voice or the words I'd just uttered. The expression of hope he'd shown earlier was suddenly gone, replaced with dejection. His eyes looked hollow.

"I don't want you to think I didn't mean what I said," I corrected myself quickly, hating myself for inflicting the pain in his eyes. "But things between us can't continue."

His glance was filled with angst but mostly anger. "Why?"

I swallowed hard, feeling as if my tongue was swelling and gagging me. It suddenly occurred to me that I couldn't blame all of this on my break-up baggage with my last boyfriend, Jack. Now it just seemed as if that excuse wouldn't hold weight. Why? Because the problems with Jack couldn't hold a candle to everything that had happened between Knight and me. I mean, we'd openly admitted our undying love for each other! Those words were so strongly heartfelt and deep, I couldn't imagine anything I said now would hold weight. It was like I was just speaking in hypotheticals-in one-sided masks of reality that would easily fall over as soon as a gusty wind approached.

"I can't work with you and date you at the same time," I admitted at last. The words sounded cheap and flimsy as soon as I uttered them. "It's against ANC policy."

Knight narrowed his eyes and stood up, retreating to the far side of the living room. His back was to me and his shoulders seemed tight, making his posture straight and rigid. When he turned to face me, there was anger in his eyes and grimness to the lines of his mouth. "That's bulls.h.i.+t, Dulcie, and you know it."

I stood up and took a deep breath, trying to convince myself not to lose it. One tear and he'd know I was bluffing, that I wasn't being honest with him or myself. "Whatever my reasons, Knight, I can't do this anymore. Things between us from now on have to be strictly platonic."

He glared at me. "So this whole thing was set up."

"Set up?" I repeated, shaking my head, although dawning realization hit me like a bomb. That was exactly what this looked like-a set-up. He thought I'd only asked for my job back so I could break up with him, blaming it on not being able to work together and date. Although it was the farthest from the truth, the truth was nearly as bad.

He nodded and took a step closer to me. I felt like I was shriveling beneath his stringent gaze. "You wanted your job back because you knew it would be an out where you and I are concerned."

"No, that isn't why," I started, shaking my head again, only this time more adamantly. Before I could defend myself, he interrupted me.

"Then why, Dulcie? Seems pretty d.a.m.n convenient if you ask me."

My heart started beating frantically. I didn't want to get into an argument with him. I'm not sure what I expected-or what I'd thought his reaction was going to be, but I wasn't at all prepared for this. "I just, um ... I just felt like I belonged in law enforcement," I said sheepishly. As soon as I said it, I realized my reason needed to sound more legitimate than that. A lot more legitimate if Knight was going to buy it. "Going to the Netherworld reinforced my reasons for getting into law enforcement in the first place. I needed to come back where I belong," I said as a wave of nausea washed over me. I hated the fact that I was a complete and total hypocrite.

"The ANC is where you belong. It's in your blood," he agreed, but crossed his arms against his chest to reveal that he was still angry all the same.

"Please believe me when I say that getting my job back has nothing to do with ... this."

"Then what does this have to do with?"

"I just don't think it's right to work with you and date you, Knight. It's a conflict of interests, especially because you're my boss."

"Then I'll change the arrangement so you can report directly to Caressa."

I swallowed hard. "Knight, Caressa doesn't work in our office and no one else reports to her. It would be too weird and I don't want special favors merely because you and I are in a relations.h.i.+p."

"So you'd prefer to be completely out of the relations.h.i.+p?"

And that was exactly what I was trying to say, but apparently, not doing a good job of saying it. "Knight, I care about you," I started, but he sighed and shook his head.

"But not enough, it seems." He glared at me for a few more seconds and the pain in his eyes nearly undid me. "d.a.m.n me for falling for you, Dulcie." He shook his head and stared at something in the distance. "The warning signs had always been there, but I ignored them. I thought you would let me in, that I could help you break down your walls and forget about your past, forget about Jack." He faced me again. "But I was completely wrong." He chuckled acidly. "And f.u.c.k me for being completely wrong."

I felt my heart breaking because everything I'd just told him was a complete lie. I was as much in love with him now as I'd ever been. And he had been successful in breaking down my walls! It was solely because of Knight that I was able to put Jack behind me and move on. Knight really had saved me, but of course, I couldn't tell him that. Instead, I had to watch silently after I painted the worst possible picture of myself. I had to simply sit back and allow him to believe that I didn't love him.

"I'm sorry," I said dumbly, knowing there really wasn't anything more I could say. Anything more would be considered blabbing the entire truth, thereby sealing his fate to an early death.

Knight didn't say anything for a while, just stood there looking at me with an overall p.i.s.sed off expression. Then he shook his head and exhaled as he started for the door. "Dulcie, you have issues and the sooner you can attack those issues, head on, the happier you're going to be."

"I realize," I started, but he held up his hand, intimating that I should talk to it because the face wasn't listening.

"I actually pity you," he continued and with his other hand on the doork.n.o.b, he turned back around to face me. "I just hope for your sake, one day you don't wake up and realize you wasted your entire life by dwelling on the past."

Then he turned around and walked out of my house, closing the door behind him.

Eight.

At nine a.m. the next morning, I showed up on Sam's doorstep and rang the doorbell. She answered immediately, a huge smile spreading across her pretty face. Her light brown hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, highlighting her large brown eyes and rosy cheeks. She sort of reminded me of a young Sally Field. She was wearing her "Kiss Me, I'm Wiccan" ap.r.o.n which had to mean one thing-she'd either been cooking or baking. Lucky me.

"Who the h.e.l.l are you?" she asked, throwing her hands on her hips as she pretended to be irritated, but the smile curling her lips gave her away.

"I know, I know," I said, guilt rampaging through me as I shook my head as if to say I had no words for being such a bad friend. If she only knew the half of it ...

"Well, come on." Sam held the door open wider and grabbed my hand, pulling me inside. "I thought I'd make us breakfast." Then she eyed me suspiciously, tapping her index finger against her mouth. "Knight is right-you have lost weight and you look anorexically thin, like LeAnn Rimes in a bikini thin." She brought her eyes back up to mine. "Not a good look."

"Thanks ... to you and Knight," I grumbled.

"Don't worry; I'll fatten you up," she said and pinched my left b.u.t.t cheek ... a little too hard.

"Ouch, Sam!" I yelled, swatting her hand away.

As soon as I walked into her house, the aroma of eggs and bacon welcomed my nostrils. I knew I was in for a treat because Sam was an amazing cook. "Mmm, what smells so completely awesome?" I asked, my stomach growling in agreement, as I dropped my backpack on her sofa, followed by my leather bike jacket. Motorcycle riding was getting old fast just based on the need for constant wardrobe changes. Sidling up to her counter, I took a seat on one of her barstools, swiveling around to face her.

She smiled proudly. "Well, eggs and bacon with fresh-squeezed orange juice, made from the oranges from my tree, I might add. And then we have blueberry breakfast ca.s.serole, zucchini and sweet potato frittata, and snicker-doodle bread."

"Um," I started, a look of mild concern on my face. "Aside from me, what army do you plan to feed this morning?"

Sam waved me away with her hand as if she were brus.h.i.+ng away crumbs. "I have all these recipes my friends keep pinning on Pinterest, so you're just a good excuse to try them out."

I said nothing but shook my head and smiled at my best friend, suddenly incredibly grateful to Knight that he'd orchestrated this whole thing. Of course, thoughts of Knight led to memories of last night and I had to firmly push them from my mind, reminding myself for the nth time that what I'd done had to be done-that in the long run, I was doing Knight a huge favor.

"Okay, Dulce, go sit at the table because breakfast is ready," Sam said, untying her ap.r.o.n and reaching for what I imagined was the blueberry ca.s.serole-the verdant blue splotches in the otherwise white dough being my first clue. I followed her to her dining table, pulling out my chair as I watched her gingerly place the ca.s.serole on a trivet. Then she returned to the kitchen for dish number two. The fresh squeezed orange juice was already sitting in a clear jug on the table and the eggs and bacon on a large plate just beside the orange juice.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to get into my pants," I said with a laugh, filling my gla.s.s with OJ.

Sam glanced at me and smiled widely. "As if! And, besides, I'm well aware that somebody else already filled that position, no pun intended."

I smiled at her very-much-intended pun before my smile turned into a frown and a resigned, despondent sigh. I watched her deliver the frittata and the snicker-doodle bread, placing both directly in front of me. She handed me a serving knife, motioning that I should cut myself a slice of the bread. Then she busied herself with piling a heaping spoonful of scrambled eggs on my plate, three pieces of bacon and an even larger serving of frittata. When she started in on the blueberry breakfast ca.s.serole, I had to say something.

"Go easy, there," I begged. She offered me a raised brow but gave me a reasonable serving. Then after fussing around me like she had the Queen of England at her breakfast table, she sat in her seat and started serving herself.

"So why the sigh?" she demanded. I should have known better than to think my best friend would ever let anything slip by. So, figuring the news would soon be known anyway, I decided it was best for Sam to hear it directly from the horse's mouth.

"Knight and I broke up," I said, in a dejected tone.

She didn't respond for a few seconds, taking a bite of her blueberry ca.s.serole as she stared at me. Swallowing it, she took a swig of orange juice, surprising me by asking, "What do you think of the blueberry ca.s.serole? Good?"

I hadn't even tried the ca.s.serole, or anything else for that matter, but I couldn't say my mind was on food. "Um, did you hear what I just said?" I was completely thrown when she hadn't jumped on the topic, not that I wanted her to, but, still, it surprised me.

She simply nodded although I noticed her jaw was clenched and she looked annoyed. "Of course I heard you, but I chose to ignore it."

I frowned at her. "That doesn't sound like the Sam I know and love so well."

She was about to take another sip of her juice, but seemed to change her mind and plunked the gla.s.s down so hard, some of the juice splashed out. "I just don't get you, Dulcie," she said, shaking her head as she glared at me. "Knight is a great guy. And what's more, he's perfect for you." She was silent for a few more seconds. "I just don't understand why you destroy every chance you have for happiness, not to mention that I think it's totally s.h.i.+tty to hurt Knight like that."

"I said 'we broke up' not 'I broke up with him'," I corrected her, even though the truth of the matter was that I had been the architect. It annoyed me, however, that Sam automatically a.s.sumed all the blame rested on my shoulders.

"You didn't have to say who did it, because I just made an educated guess based on how well I know you," she retorted. "So was I right? Were you the one who ended things with him?"

I nodded and then immediately held up my hands in a rendition of it wasn't my fault! "I didn't mean to," I started, wondering what exactly I was going to tell her. Earlier, I decided to just blame the whole thing on my hang-ups from my relations.h.i.+p with Jack, but I knew I couldn't lie to her, my best friend. But I also couldn't tell her the truth. Aye, there was the rub. "I didn't have a choice, Sam."

She frowned again. "Didn't have a choice? Everyone has a choice." Then she eyed me speculatively.

I shook my head. "I ..." I stared down at my fork on which I'd speared some eggs, but the thought of getting them past my lips was completely out of the question. I'd just lost any appet.i.te I might have had. That burning feeling of acidic bile in my stomach, which had become a permanent tenant ever since my return from the Netherworld, was back in full force.

"Dulcie, what's going on with you?" Sam asked, putting her fork down as she stared at me. "You're not acting like yourself."

"I'm fine," I started and tried to act unconcerned, but Sam saw right through me. I should have known she would.

"Whatever it is, we can get through it together."

I swallowed hard. "It's not so simple," I started, finding myself at a loss for words.

"Well, for G.o.d's sake, tell me what it is!" I just took a deep breath and so she continued. "You've been so weird lately, I wasn't even sure if you were going to show up this morning."