Mr. Punch in Bohemia - LightNovelsOnl.com
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[Ill.u.s.tration: THE SECRETS OF LITERARY COMPOSITION
_The Fair Auth.o.r.ess of "Pa.s.sionate Pauline," gazing fondly at her own reflection, writes as follows_:--
"I look into the gla.s.s, reader. What do I see?
I see a pair of laughing, _espiegle_, forget-me-not blue eyes, saucy and defiant; a _mutine_ little rose-bud of a mouth, with its ever-mocking _moue_; a tiny sh.e.l.l-like ear, trying to play hide-and-seek in a tangled maze of rebellious russet gold; while, from underneath the satin folds of a _rose-the_ dressing-gown, a dainty foot peeps coyly forth in its exquisitely-pointed gold morocco slipper", &c., &c.
(_Vide "Pa.s.sionate Pauline", by Parbleu._)]
[Ill.u.s.tration: A DISTINCTION
_First Gourmet._ "That was Mr. Dobbs I just nodded to."
_Second Gourmet._ "I know."
_First G._ "He asked me to dine at his house next Thursday--but I can't.
Ever dined at Dobbs's?"
_Second G._ "No. Never _dined_. But I've been there to dinner!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Auctioneer._ "Lot 52. A genuine Turner. Painted during the artist's lifetime. What offers, gentlemen?"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Millionaire_ (_who has been shown into fas.h.i.+onable artist's studio, and has been kept waiting a few minutes_). "SHOP!"]
NONSENSE PROVERBS
WHAT'S in the pot mustn't be told to the pan.
There's a mouth for every m.u.f.fin.
A clear soup and no flavour.
As drunk as a daisy.
All rind and no cheese.
Set a beggar on horseback, and he will cheat the livery-stable keeper.
There's a B in every bonnet.
Two-and-six of one and half-a-crown of the other.
The insurance officer dreads a fire.
First catch your heir, then hook him.
Every plum has its pudding.
Short pipes make long smokes.
It's a long lane that has no blackberries.
Wind and weather come together.
A flower in the b.u.t.ton-hole is worth two on the bush.
Round robin is a shy bird.
There's a s.h.i.+ny lining to every hat.
The longest dinner will come to an end.
You must take the pips with the orange.
It's a wise dentist that knows his own teeth.
No rose without a gardener.
Better to marry in May than not to marry at all.
Save sovereigns, spend guineas.
Too many followers spoil the cook. (N.B. This is _not_ nonsense.)
[Ill.u.s.tration: Profusely decorated with cuts]
SAID AT THE ACADEMY.--_Punch_ doesn't care _who_ said it. It was extremely rude to call the commission on capital punishments the hanging committee.
THE GRAMMAR OF ART.--"Art," spell it with a big or little "a," can never come first in any well-educated person's ideas. "I am" must have the place of honour; then "Thou Art!" so apostrophised, comes next.
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Scrumble._ "Been to see the old masters?"
